First of all, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this. However, I don't think that you are going to find the true healing that you seek until you really face this through counseling. Yes, counselors have to report, but really, that's the only way this is going to get better.
You say your husband is sorry, and maybe he really is, but to say he will never do this again without ever dealing with WHY he did it in the first place is wishful thinking, IMO. Also, what about your daughter? You say she's moved out and has moved on and deals with him as best she can, but if she never received any counseling, this could very well come back to haunt her later in life, she could have self-esteem issues because she doesn't feel she was worth the trouble of reporting the crime, maybe translating into trouble with her own relationships with men or even worse, going on to abuse her own children because she never dealt with what was done to her.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so harsh, but I feel strongly about this. I know how hard it is, I had to take my kids to counseling for my son molesting my daughter knowing full well that it would mean it would have to be reported, but it was the only way I knew to get all of us the help we so desperately needed. It sounds like your circumstances were very difficult when all this was happening and I can see why not reporting this seemed like the only choice you could make at the time, but I think you still feel so conflicted because you know what you have to do, what is best for everyone involved in the long run, but it's just a really hard call to make so you haven't done it yet.
KL
Posted on Sep 27, 2009, 5:48 PM from IP address 68.63.139.188
