i am soooo sorry!! this is such a heartbreaking trauma to go through. We are all here for you. This site has been so good for me, as i did not have anyone to talk to either.
My CPS worker lent me a couple books on sexual abuse, it helped so much. i am a real knowledge person, but i felt very powerless and so i educated myself on how to help my daughter and my other kids. it prepared me for the the wide range of symptoms that occur from sexual abuse. I also read about offenders, so i could understand how they could do what they do and how the system works. It was really good because it helped me be a better advocate for my daughter. it also helped me feel like i was doing something while i was just waiting!!!!!
expect no sleep, lots of coffee and lots of anger. lots of crying and blaming and hopelessness. It will all get better and you are more than likley feeling like you are in a cloud. I went into auto pilot and i am just coming off a year later. I also read about trauma, and the affects it has on loved ones of trauma victims. You are a victim also, not like your daughter but still a victim. You will have some of the same feelings and symptoms. I would make sure your little one is ok and if she has been abused also. i had two of my other children in therapy through the initial disclosure because they took it so hard and needed help coping with the changes and all the emotions is the house. your little one may need a little help also. Expect to be different from here on out. You are changed forever. Change is ok, it can be difficult but it will be ok.
The abuse shook every tennet in my life. My faith, my friendships, my family, my marriage, my parenting, my identity. Some dont react like i did but there is hope, and recovery. Through therapy and lots of patience and lots of love you all will be just fine. Expect to get therapy for yourself, as soon as you feel you need it. My therapist saved me, she is great!!! Try to be easy on yourself, and try not to beat yourself. dont play should hav, would hav, could hav its just not healthy.
financially, the therapy, the meds, the driving, all the little extras added up we had to change rooms, paint, change schools, lots of stuff that incurred lots of extra monies. So expect a little of that.
The victim compensation board, gave my daugheter $5,000 for all her therapy and anything else she needs that is recommended by the therapist. So now we are getting monies back. I have been told that i also qualify for the program to help pay for my therapy and meds.
this abuse is very isolating. My daughter did not want anyone to know, so i could not explain to anyone what was happening. It is her story to tell and it gives her power to tell it. Our friends stopped calling and we stopped going to things because of her anxiety.
Just remember it will get better, and you will get through it. We are here for you!!!
sorry so long,
em
Posted on Oct 6, 2009, 1:12 PM from IP address 68.55.213.157
