I was searching the internet looking for some support for parents of sexual assault victims. I'm glad I found this site.
My daughter is ten years old now. Her father and I have been separated since before she was a year old. He was recently arrested on charges of possession of child pornography, as well as videotaping himself raping my daughter over several years.
The hardest part for me so far has been that she had disclosed to me when she was 3 that he was touching her. I went through all the steps, only to have the probate judge order DSS and all others to immediately drop all investigations. If that judge had only allowed the investigations to continue my daughter could have been spared six years of pain and trauma.
His arrest only happend a few weeks ago, so I think I'm still in shock. I don't have "enough" anger yet, and I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares that she's screaming for me and telling him to stop.
My daughter isn't saying much, to me or to her Therapist. I know it will take her time and I will be patient. She actually seems to be unaffected by it, but I'm sure she's just learned to hide her emotions very well.
He messed up her head so well and for so long that she never made another disclosure, and I honestly didn't even suspect anything. I suppose I assumed that he got scared straight after all we went through after her disclosure. But instead, he just got better at keeping her quiet.
That's my story. I'm just here looking for some support and some reassurance that everything will heal over time.
Thank you for hearing my story.
~Tricia
Posted on Oct 30, 2009, 5:01 PM from IP address 68.1.170.80
