Cassandra, I'm very sorry for all you are going thru. I'm especially sorry for all your sons have gone thru and continue to go thru. My heart goes out to them. I really feel they need a CASA (court appointed special advocate) and a GAL (guardian ad litem). They are people that will advocate for your sons and act in their best interest. If you are not being looked at in a credible light, your sons need someone to help them. I think they should have their own attorney as well who can help them with any legal matter, seeking justice for their offender, but especially with revoking any visitation with their father/offender. They should never have to be in the same room with their offender. Has CPS (child protective services) or DYFS (division of youth and family services) been involved? Have your sons been given forensic interviews? Have they seen a therapist? They need counseling by someone experienced in child sexual abuse therapy at their age level. The therapist can also be an advocate for them. You need to try to build a team of people who will be credible who will advocate for them. Unfortunately, since you said you always knew there was inappropriate behavior between your ex and your kids, it was your responsibility to report it when you first suspected anything, and that may work against you. You need to familiearize yourself with the laws in your state concerning child sexual abuse and reporting it. In my state, we have no list of mandatory reporters--everyone is considered a mandatory reporter. I'm so sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to add to your already horrendous circumstances, but I am just trying to inform you of what to expect, of what may be the course ahead of you so you can be prepared. You should have a lawyer as well, and a counselor. I know counselors and lawyers can be very expensive, but you may qualify for pro bono or legal aid attorneys, and your kids should qualify for counseling thru the victims of crime compensation fund in your state. I hope this helps. Good luck with all of this. You and your sons are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted on Sep 22, 2011, 4:35 PM from IP address 22.214.171.124