Dear Gina- I appreciate your honesty about your sons. This past week my son disclosed to my daughter via my email what he had done to her. We didn't tell him she didn't have hardly any memories. WE learned that she was raped. She handled it rather well. And felt very validated because she always knew there was more. She wants my husband to contact him and call him out on a memory she has that he didn't address. It makes us all wonder how much more he could be holding back. My daughter had a bad night last night ( she feels very empty at times) until she told my husband about wanting more info from our son. She then found out that he went on a skiing trip with friends. Of course, his wonderful, fun life just goes on, like he did nothing wrong!!!!!! This brought out real emotions in her (crying) and through the anger and sadness she was able to push her way through it. She had been bottling up her emotions for years and has been a self harmer (cutting) she has over a hundred scars on her arms and legs.
I HATE MY SON SO MUCH! Today it is consuming me. I hope he dies on his stupid trip! I never want to see him ever again. I feel like I never had a son. Is this normal?! To hate someone that you use to love more than your own life?! I never thought I could turn my back on my child. Eventually I will have to tell my parents why I don't want to talk about him and have taken down every picture of him in my home. What do you tell people. My husband is resigned to never having him part of our family again. Right now this is how all 5 of us feel. WE all feel like we never knew him and he was a stranger living among us all those years.
Posted on Feb 25, 2012, 4:38 PM from IP address 22.214.171.124