In answer....

by gina

 

Our son was 12 at the time of disclosure...our girls were 2 yrs and almost 4 yrs...Mom of 3...please remember that while your thoughts are normal for a loving mother...the reality of your situation may be very different. For one thing...you may NEVER know all that happened...even once the forensic exams are completed. Our girls were raped in ways I cannot share and our one daughters exam showed no concrete evidence of penetration...our other daughter had visible damage...we know what happened because of information disclosed by all the children...however, in my heart I am sure we do not know ALL of the details...and frankly, I thank God for that. As it was, I am not sure how I lived through it. Again, I do not know your situation, only you do...the severity of abuse and how it was carried out is difficult to imagine for a parent of both victim and perpetrator. Also, keep in mind that NO ONE is capable to keep a vigilant watch over their kids 24 hours a day...our girls were abused in the middle of the night while my husband and I were sleeping...

I am rambling on again, but something else you need to consider...depending on your state laws and what they consider to be abuse...if they are threatening to take 'all' of your children because of your responses or lack of them they may be thinking of your 'failure to protect' all of the boys. PLEASE do not mistake what I am saying...you did NOT fail...this is not your fault..we faced this same situation...in the beginning, if we had not removed our sons we would've been charged with failure to protect and lost ALL of our kids!!! Our oldest son was our foster son, (he lived with us over 12 yrs and for technical reasons was 'unadoptable') and our youngest son was adopted. Our oldest was placed back in state care and our youngest stayed with friends for several months until he began his treatment program. We eventually terminated our parental rights.



Posted on Feb 25, 2012, 5:25 PM
from IP address 71.227.116.69


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