Amanda- Let me say first off how sad I am for your family. There is nothing more painful than this! I am glad you are reaching out here. My daughter disclosed a little over 2 mons ago and this forum has been a lifeboat in a huge stormy ocean.
You will have a million different emotions about this, I know. I am CSA surivior too and this is much worse than what I went through. I felt like I had some power and control with my own abuse. I can't control how this will affect my daughter for the rest of her life and that is so incredibly painful and terrifying! Our daughter's healing will be totally up to them -(you and I can only support them through it). They will do the heavy lifting. I know how helpless and guilty you feel because I feel it every minute of everyday.
There is a silver lining in your case. I am guessing that your daughter is still young? Getting help now will greatly reduce the torment that she would go through if it continued or nobody knew about the abuse. That is why you feel like she is healing faster that you are. She is still young and full of hope. You are an amazing mother. You are so strong! Cry and feel the feelings as much as possible! I am finding that helps the most right now. Say to yourself everyday "This was not my fault. All of the blame belongs on my ex-husband." Why would anyone think that someone that they once loved and thought they knew so well would hurt their own child like this? Our minds just don't go there, do they? You are an innocent victim like your beautiful daugher.
My son raped my daughter when he was 12 and she was 4 for 2 months 14 years ago. I was a stay at home mom because I was going to protect my children from being victims and I couldn't do it. I never would have suspected my own son because it never enters our mind that family wouldn't look out for family, right? You will get through it by going one step at a time. You will get through it because of the amazing love a mother has for her child! Allow yourself time everyday to be upset and cry-feeling the feelings will get you through it. And don't forget to reach out to the parents here who know and understand exactly what you are going through. Blessings to you and your family, Laura
Posted on Mar 9, 2012, 2:22 PM from IP address 184.108.40.206