Susan,

by BJRosetanni

 

Susan, your posting disturbed me in the awful reality of sexual abuse disclosure. You lost your former life in that one moment of time when your daughter disclosed,; your church, your husband, who, as you've said, passed a lie detector test on what I am assuming was THE question: did you sexually molest your daughter?; you lost friends, your church, everything because as a mother you stood behind your child and believed her. She got into drugs, used her body disrespectfully and behaved in a very typical way for someone who had been sexually abused. Yet, truthfully, were there not moments of doubting her word when all of this happened? Your loss has been great in terms of your former life. I think this is a very real and honest part of childhood sexual abuse and I don't feel that moments of doubting your child's word, in later life when they disclose, is wrong but only natural. You watched her spiral downhill into a life that many never see. You were placed on the horns of a dilemma. I think the fact that we are mothers makes it very difficult for us not to support our children in situations like this and we are often the ones who pay the biggest price for it when it's 'in-house' molestation and abuse. I am not suggesting this did not happen but I am saying that part of disclosure is doubt. How in the world could someone pass a lie detector test in a case like this, was it done through the police? You'd wonder, wouldn't you how a person could take a lie detector test and pass it and lie? You must have many conflicting thoughts and you also have the worry and pain of watching your daughter go through a very horrible life's experience. I speak from experience although the sexual abuse was one step removed from in-house; it was a grandfatherly figure in my daughters lives, many years ago now. But the pain never leaves. Sexual abuse destroys lives.
BJR



Posted on May 12, 2012, 6:14 AM
from IP address 184.147.23.87


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