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by BJRosetanni

I guess I must be about the oldest person posting to this forum..early 70's. But have asked this question before...has anyone here had any experience years on down the line with sexually abused children and survivors of and their behaviour? Maybe just some feedback from your own experiences may help. My two daughters, one my adopted daughter and my child; the other, my step-daughter, whom I raised from 9 to 18 years, were both sexually molested in their younger years which, at the age of 17 3/4's, my daughter disclosed. After a ten year marriage to my step-daughter's father, I terminated it. Briefly, my step-daughter had already dealt with the loss of her own mother at the age of 5, who took two children, leaving two children of which she was one, with the father. I married him a few years later, after my own husband had died leaving me with two children 4 & 6. I felt that I had become by then a safe place for her to put the anger, the anxiety and upset she couldn't express with her own mother as she was not allowed to see her. Add to that the sexual abuse by a grandfatherly figure in their lives, my two daughters have given me, since this disclosure which coincided with the family break-up,an emotional rollercoaster ride at times. In their 40's, I'm still exposed to this from time to time. My adopted daughter has opted out of my life when I called her on her behaviour two years ago; my stepdaughter, with whom I've had a close relationship, also in the past year has, to my thinking, reverted to exposing me to a lot of her anger again. I grieved for the loss of my daughter; now this one which will impact less on me leave me feeling very upset and sad but somehow liberating as well. I know we all experience feelings familiar to ourselves and others may react differently but I feel that I've been a handy scapegoat to them both emotionally and feel they both need to address their issues with therapists again. I think most of you folks are going through the trauma right now of disclosure, fighting for rights, compensation, legal and court recognition of sexual abuse. But it's the behaviour that will affect these children years later that I feel I'm dealing with and you may also find this as well even though we all get on with our lives and some of these children appear to do well later in life. I still feel the remnants of sexual abuse lie in the anger I've seen in both my daughters.

Posted on May 17, 2012, 10:45 AM
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  1. My Experience. SpinningInCircles, May 17, 2012, 12:12 PM
    1. Spinning. BJRosetanni, May 17, 2012, 2:01 PM
      1. Re: Spinning. SpinningInCircles, May 17, 2012, 2:13 PM
        1. Again. BJR, May 17, 2012, 5:09 PM

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