Thank you for your reply. Thank you for saying that he's probably still manipulating me. I needed to hear that.
I am completely financially self-sufficient, and we keep totally separate houses. But I realized yesterday, actually, that I don't respect myself, and it's because of fear that I am living this way. I want to be able to respect myself, and I need to end this relationship. I'm tired of being ashamed of who I am married to, and being ashamed of myself for not being stronger. I've conquered fears before, and I think it's time to conquer this one. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I think I'm going to give myself a gift... respect.
I have many conflicting feelings though. This is my 2nd failed marriage. I never wanted to be divorced once, let alone twice. I feel like a failure there. My first husband was a good man and good husband for 15 years, then he had a traumatic event and went insane... literally. He's been in and out of mental hospitals for the last 9 years now, and he divorced me because he said he was no longer capable of being a husband and father (and he was right).
I don't want to be a twice divorced woman. But I also don't want to be a woman who's married to a child molester. I guess it's not possible to have both. I need to make a choice... I think I've made a choice.
Posted on Jun 15, 2012, 1:50 AM from IP address 184.108.40.206