Your advice needed... Convicted Pedophile Marrying Woman with 3 Kids

by Kindred_Spirit


Happy Holidays - I hope you are having a festive season and that there are many good things planned to celebrate.

I'm sorry to know of your struggles: I can relate somewhat as the younger sister of a convicted pedophile. Also, as his sister, I wanted to ask those with firsthand experience what, looking back, they would have wanted in a case like the following:

My brother molested children - including me - for years and was finally tried and convicted in Nov. 2008. While in prison, he became a "born again" Christian, began receiving treatment, and was released from his 3 year sentence early. Now, he is dating and engaged to a former college sweetheart who has three young children under the age of 11. She has moved to his state with her children to be with him. Their father, with whom she was divorced, died recently in an accident. I asked my brother if he had shared his abuse history with her and he claimed she "checks up on" his treasures from time to time.

As one of the survivors of his abuse, I am beside myself with anxiety for the kids. My therapist suggested that the mother was likely a survivor of sexual abuse, herself and may be in a trance-like denial. Having been through this firsthand, what do you think I should do? The rest of my family seems to be in denial or are simply happy for him because he seems happy, finally.

Would you send the mother a message? I've only met her once when I was a very young teen. I'm not convinced that her kids are safe and I'm anxious to prevent the abuse from happening again to her kids... I know the long lasting damage this type of trauma causes... Which I still struggle with... And I want to prevent it from happening if I can.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with this.

Posted on Dec 24, 2012, 12:53 PM
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  1. re: advice. bandmom, Dec 26, 2012, 12:32 PM
  2. Tell her!. Laura, Jan 1, 2013, 2:07 PM
  3. She needs to be told. Kathleen, Jan 8, 2013, 9:11 PM
  4. She needs to be told. Kathleen, Jan 8, 2013, 9:11 PM

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