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  • I know what you are going through
    • Mariah
      Posted Sep 15, 2011 9:31 PM

      I posted a couple weeks ago. My daugher at the time had not yet disclosed but based on her therapy and recent behaviors it was obvious that she was abused. Yesterday I took her to therapy because she disclosed over the weekend that it was my brother. I can feel the resentment she has for me. The whole way on the way to the office, my 8 year old opened the door to the car while I was driving 70 mph. She screamed she hated me, she hated herself, she wanted to die, questioned why she couldn't have a "normal" life. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. She was almost hospitalized since she was so unsafe. Hang in there...easier said than done I know. There are two things that I have heard that have helped me over the past two days. 1 - the therapist yesterday said to me "Parents with children without problems, well problems like these, really have no idea how lucky they are." This hit home. All I can seem to think about sometimes is how hard this is and how lucky my sisters are that they don't have to see their child so hurt. The 2nd thing that I heard is "You are only defeated after you admit you failed. Get up, pull yourself together and keep fighting!" I just told my fiance yesterday how defeated I felt. Now I am fighting. I dont' want my daughter to be a "victim" her whole life and it is up to me to show the example. I have to fight this.

      We have intensive in home therapy 4 days a week, 2 hours a day. She sees a play therapist once a week for an hour and a psychiatrist once a month. I can't work full time anymore and my finances are a wreck but I know we will get through this. Hang in there. This is hard. My daughter tells me she hates me, calls me names, throws things at me, spits on me, bites me. I just keep reinforcing the consequences and giving positive reinforcment. I dont' try to "fix her" anymore. I just validate her feelings. I am giving her space to hate me right now. I know she is just overwelmed. I hope this helps. Just know you are not alone. I, in NC, am going through this at the exact same time. I find comfort in knowing I am not alone. We will overcome this.

      I will pray for you and your child.

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