Christmas eve, 2001. Network TV. Camera rolls in, first to a pictute of President Clifton pouring a glass of water on the head of the newly elected president of Russia,
then to Tony and two of his scantly clad "closest advisors" sitting on a bear skin rug, in front of a roaring fire. Tony's holding a highball in one hand and a cigarette in
the other, as one of his "advisors" administers a gentle message and the other wipes his sweaty brow.
"Mahh friends and fans.... It's with a heavy heart I come before yoose all tonight. As yoo all know, dis grate country is being’ overrun by what mah advisers are callin’ a
crisis of da values. Da American way of life is under attack! Ya see it in the bars and da casinos, and da diners and motels, and in da trailer parks all across this grate land
that you and me calls the good ol’ U.S. of A.!! Booze and bimbos and smokes and even Sinatra’s music and good healthy red meat is bein’ trashed! A bunch of goody
two shoes, insteada mindin’ there own damn business is tryin’ to tell you and me how ta conduct our own business. Dis ain’t gonna stand! Not in no Clifton
adminastrashun! You decent fun lovin’ people of dis grate land elected ol’ Tony ta fight for your rights, and that’s just what ol’ Tony’s gonna do! Startin’ now.