Hello, Fans, Friends, Kaufmanites, and Kats (and the rest of you, too!)
Welcome to the Thought of the Week!
First, a small update: the filmscoring work is going along well, and my schedule should be back to "fairly" normal "fairly" soon; expect my return to my usual
haunts on the net to be imminent! Thanks for understanding, all of you whom I've been slighting via email and IM, and on the BBs as well. As Kate Sith says,
"busi bakson". (Is that how you spell it, Kate?)
AND a BSTAK update - as of this mailing, our "chapter" has 25 "members"! Hooray! *_*
Onward!
This week's thoughts are drawn from a number of different sources, and are loosely structured around the topic of freedom; freedom from fear, freedom to be
onesself, to create onesself...
I'm veddy pleased to bring you the responses of some of the members of BSTAK...we are opening up some wonderful e-discussions, and I feel as though our little
"fanclub/community" has a strong positive feel to it. (Remember to keep sending out the positive vibes, everybody! *_* )
I was so happy that a long-time member of BSTAK responded to a subject that was brought up in a TOW with by sharing her personal experiences. I'd like to
thank Mary Anne for the permission to print this piece here. This was in response to the contradiction between what Einstein said, that man's two primal
motivations are "fear and longing", and what Neale Donald Walsch said, that the primary motives were "loving and fear." Mary Anne came up with an
interesting hybrid of the two:
"How about a different perspective? Loving and longing. When I thought about this, I thought of my younger days - definitely being motivated by fear and
longing or fear and loving. But as I grow older, wiser, and more content, yet still driven (longing) the fear lessens. Do I dare be silly enough to say "fearless"? I
see how life falls into place - and what is there to be afraid about? When I was younger, I feared the unknown: What will my life be like in 10 years? Will I make it
on my own? Now that I know, I can do almost anything in a pinch, well, hey The good news is that the results of getting what I longed for bring loving. The
happier I am, the more I can help other people (the ones who are also longing at this stage of the game)."
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A BSTAKer wrote this thought-provoking piece, which follows up on our thoughts of the past few weeks about "identity", and the nature of one's identity. He
has graciously given me permission to reprint it for the TOW.
"Who killed Andy Kaufman?"
by Don
Andy did. Not intentionally, not consciously, but he did so just as surely as he played Carnegie Hall. Let me explain.
Have you ever had an aunt or uncle, or grandparent who spent a lifetime with their spouse, then lost the spouse to death? Then, mysteriously, the surviving
spouse dies within months of the first death? I can think of a half dozen cases in my family, or among friends, where I've heard of this happening. Can you?
What's with that, anyway?
Here's my theory, and how this relates to Andy Kaufman. I think that being secure in our identity (whatever that may be) provides us with comfort and
security-and protects us!. Our identity is a sort of cocoon or shell that shields us from STRESS. When we are psychologically and emotionally secure, our bodies
are far more resistant to attack from foreign, often-fatal infections and diseases (like cancer, for example).
Often (perhaps usually) when a couple is married for 30, 35, 40, 50 years or more, this union BECOMES their identity. When the spouse dies, that identity is
stripped away, and the surviving spouse is left naked and defenseless. Often death quickly overcomes this weakened mind-body.
Who was Andy Kaufman? What was his identity? And who took it from him? David letterman said, "when you looked into Andy's eyes, it was like someone else
was driving". Others have said that Andy was always -on- always into one character or another. Others have said that Andy would NOT break character
(whatever character he was doing) for anyone, ever. Others have said there was no REAL Andy Kaufman-he WAS his characters, that WAS his identity. Andy
would joke about "Who is Andy Kaufman?" or "OK, now I’m going to show you the REAL Andy Kaufman", then he'd launch into another character!
My point is that ANDY KAUFMAN'S IDENTITY WAS HIS CHARACTERS-HIS ACT. That was it, pure and simple.
Now, the interesting part. From Zheme’s book, talking about Andy's eminent taping for the Catch the Rising Star tenth Anniversary show in September, 1982:
the material, everyone said there was nothing new, that he needed something new --- So he decided to KILL IT OFF, to put the material out of it’s misery, to
expose it as the charade and the lodestone it had become. (Remember, this is Andy's IDENTITY he’s talking about.) He planted Zmuda up front and had Rick
Newman make sure that the microphone was hidden somewhere on Zmuda's body so that Zmuda could be clearly overheard as the material was drained of it’s
blood and left for DEAD!
Now for the next few minutes Zmuda stood and did something far worse than heckling. He, line by line, did Kaufman's act from the crowd, ahead of Kaufman
by a second or two: Tenk you veddy much-Tenk you veddy much. EES de traffic-Ees de traffic. Take my wife-Take my wife. Eemetations-Eemetations. He was
relentless line upon line. Kaufman would try to ignore it, but Zmuda kept on.
And Andy was wet: his face was soaked with flop summoned from trained synopses and abetted by blistering lights and he had to say something to stop this man
in front from ruining everything. And he said, Is there a problem?
ZMUDA: No, there's no problem. The only problem is that I'm doing your act for you; If you did some new material, then I wouldn't know what you're gonna
do next.
ANDY: Well, uh I was asked to do this material tonight, okay? This is what the club asked me to do, and I'm doing it.
This interchange goes on for a while, then Zmuda reveals his planted microphone and says "Look there's a little mic on me, you see this? He hired me tonight to
come here and criticize him, you know? See today he was saying to me: Zmuda, here’s what we’re gonna do; I'll take my old material and I'll call it "Variation
on a Theme." The theme is old material and the variation is that I’m told to sit here and criticize it. <To Andy> well, it's true. Am I being honest? Am I a plant?
Is this another Kaufman put-on? Be honest, am I a plant? Tell the people. There’s a Mic here!
ANDY: Yeah <sotto voce> you're not supposed to say anything.
ZMUDA: Fine, then just cut it out <of the tape>.
This was highly abbreviated, but my point is this---ANDY WAS KILLING OFF HIS CHARACTERS--HIS ACT-- HIS IDENTITY. He was destroying his shell or
cocoon that had protected him from disease and death. One final example, from a PBS Soundstage performance in late 1982 (snipped):
FOREIGN MAN: You know, I don't care what you do to yourself, but you, you've not only ruined your career, but you've ruined mine, too!
AK: So what? Who cares?
FM; Because of you, everybody doesn’t like me, either. Why do you do thees? I think I know why. It's because you are really, underneath it all, I don't think
you're such a bad man.
AK: Oh, thank you.
FM: I think you are a shy little man. A little, scared little man. <<my note: naked and defenseless without the cocoon of his identity—his characters> >
AK: What do I have to be scared of?
FM: You're afraid of being hurt.
AK: Get outta here, go away!
FM: Because deep down inside you have a gentle soul. And that’s why you have put on thees tough-guy fascade. Because you hide your inseecurity.
AK <starting to cry> Really?
FM: You know, when you come to terms with your own deficiencies, then you’ll be able to accept your true self and won't have to hide behind thees macho act!
He never did. Instead he destroyed --- purposely killed off---- HIS OWN IDENTITY. He deliberately destroyed his security, his shell, and his cocoon, which had
previously shielded him from stress, disease, and death.
Why? I can only suppose that he felt that it was time for them to die, in the interest of artistic integrity. And I think that he fully intended to replace them with
new characters, or to fill his life with a new identity, but never got the chance. I think he purposely KILLED phase one of his career and UNintentionally
HIMSELF in the process. Sadly, we will never get to see the bigger, brighter, even more awesome 'phase two'. It died with Andy.
--Written Sep 23 2000, 1:33 PM
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A few random quotes that remind me of Mister Andy, (who was truly free), from "Conversations With God Volume 1" by Neale Donald Walsch:
"What you resist persists. What you look at disappears...You cannot resist something to which you grant no reality. The act of resisting a thing is the act of
granting it life. When you resist an energy, you place it there. The more you resist, the more you make it real - whatever it is that you are resisting. What you
open your eyes and look at disappears. That is, it ceases to hold its illusory form."
"To live your life without expectation - without the need for specific results - that is freedom."
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And finally, what really has to be my favorite poem by Mister Andy; I adore the way he plays with the language and the linebreaks! And the double meaning at
the last line...ooooh!
"Untitled"
by Andrew G. Kaufman
March 26, 1965
G
eei shouldn't have warn this
iei now can't p
eei can't whenever i want t
oi can't jump around b
oyi am burdened for the rest of the d
ayi hate it caus
ei have no more freedom w
elook good and w
edig suits osh
ithink