Women are the biggest tricksters. They shave themselves, color their hair, pluck thier eyebrows, ware push up bras, paint on a face and stuff their flesh into pre-formed cloths called Spanks. I try to keep it real by getting 20 somethings in my cloud bed I spank their butts and they call me Daddy it's super hot. You can get nice women to go out with you if you have plumbing!
By the way, I'm going to be fixing this place up you will have to come visit. I'm not sure Chester Vt is ready for you. I think if we told them you had been an elephant trainer and you lost your our job the folks here would have some compassion for you. There are no PETA people here they have a page of pictures of kids with deer they shot in the paper every fall. .
Keep your saw in the Wood!