I know that someone probably already did this, but...
by Spinele Snape
What Harry Potter characters would never be caught saying:
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Ron: Actually Hermione, it is pronounced wIzarDimaKiNN. If you say it the way you're saying it, it will bring a flying boar to the school... no, enough with this YOU-KNOW-WHO junk. his name is VOLDEMORT.
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Snape: A thousand points to Griffindoor!
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Prof. Dumbledoor: oh you beep ing beeeeeeeeep
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Dobby: You suck, Harry.
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Malfoys(father, son and mother): GROUP HUG!!! awwww!
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Hagrid: **opening Christmas Gifts** oh GOD! not ANOTHER dragon. sigh
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Draco Malfoy: OOOOOOO! FURBY!!!!!
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Percy: That's it! I'm getting a tatoo!!!
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Snape: Just lather, rinse and repeat.
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weird is good!