Okay,this was originally written for the Snape's Private Study forum, but I thought all of you who are also impatiently awaiting the next HP book might get a kick out of it as well.
The 'performers' in this filk are all Snape's 'Harem Ladies', by the way. Enjoy.
And uh...before we start...yes, I am crazy.
This is a filk to "Cabin Fever" from the movie "Muppet Treasure Island".
(The setting: a darkened stage. Suddenly the spotlight comes on, and several Snape harem ladies enter from the left.)
SYRENA, KITTYCAT & MELPOMENE
I got Potter fever, it's burning in my brain
I've got Potter fever, it's driving me insane
We got Potter fever, we're flipping our bandanas
Been waiting so long for the next book we have simply gone bananas!
(From right, several more Harem ladies enter, wearing brightly colored dresses and shaking maracas)
RAPUNZIL, SNAPERULEZ, & CATHERINE
Ariba!
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
ALICEY & ARTEMIS
We got Potter fever, we've lost what sense we had
We got Potter fever, the wait's driving us mad!
ROMA & CRISTINA
Maybe this summer, so I've heard it said
But since there's no sign of book five, I'm going out of my head!
We were reading, reading, waiting for volume five
Mehitobel (Spoken)
And now we're not! Ha ha heh!
(The music suddenly takes on a country feel.)
LAURA
Do not pout, don't shed no tears
There's enough fanfiction to make you keel
So sit on back, and read like a demon
And wait for No. 5 with zeal!
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to fly or fall
So grab your broom and you'll be fine
Listen for Border's call
CATHERINE
We got Potter fever
No if's, and's, or but's
We're disoriented
GRINDYLOWE
And demented
BOTH
And a little nuts!
(Artemis appears, along with SnapeRulez, fashionably attired in lederhosen.)
ARTEMIS & SNAPERULEZ
Ach du lieber Volswagen car
(Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Saur braten viener schnitzel
Und a vunder bar
(Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
SNAPERULEZ (spoken)
Why did we do that?
ARTEMIS (also spoken)
The filk writer couldn't figure out what else to put there. Who's for beer and sausages?
ROMA
We were reading, reading, while hope was on our side
(Shandethe rises out of a conveniently placed coffin, a la Gary Oldman's "Dracula")
SHANDETHE
..And then it died!
CATHERINE
I've got Potter fever
We've been waiting for so long!
SYRENA
I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this song!
CRISTINA
Si!
MEL & RAPUNZIL
Now we're caught in this crazy tune
Hoping book five comes out soon
And going crazier than loons!
ALL
Potter fever has ravaged this poor board
This once proud forum has become a cyber psycho ward
We were reading, reading, the wait just isn't fair
And now though we're all here
We're not all there!
(The beat picks up)
SHANDETHE
Crazed dance party!
ROMA
Random musical number!
(All the Harem ladies stop in the center of the stage, and strike a pose as confetti rains from the ceiling)
ALL
Potter fever--ahh!
****No rabid Potter fans were harmed in the making of this filk****
