Starting a topic (mind if I vent?)

How about mothers? My face is red and I'm wracked with exaustion from having it out with mine. She stopped by to drop off a saddle, supposedly, then offered to take my daughter shopping for a new school outfit (she had heard a rumor that I was going to homeschool her and decided manipulating my daughter would be the best way to bring it up). Now my daughter just looked at me and refused to answer my mother, she knew my mom was up to something because she NEVER offers to do that kind of stuff. I walked away waiting for the bomb to drop. So Cassandra said she was going to homeschool and my mother commented that I was ignoring her. I told her yes, I was, because I did not want to discuss it with her. She said I had to. I said no I didn't, it would just turn into an arguement. She decided we HAD to have this arguement. So my daughter went and hid in the hayloft where she'd be out of sight yet still be able to overhear. As usual Bets did not start off asking questions about wether I was ready for the responsibility, rather she informed me I am not organized enough because I do not keep my house spotless(BTW I clean her house on a weekly basis, and she has no kids living at home). I told her I did not appreciate her starting an arguement in front my kids, she said, well, if Cassandra's old enough to request homeschooling, she old enough to hear both sides of the issue no matter how heated it got. Of course she knew I would react and she said she knew it, I told her if she knew it, she shouldn't have started it.
So she attacks, I attempt to defend, see it's no use and tell her I am an adult and want to be treated as such, she can just stop with the emotional abuse and stay out of my life. She told me I should get over the emotional abuse now (she never denies it when I accuse her of it), at which I said that I would if she would just stop doing it. Bill butted in with support, that Cassandra needs the one on one, she's behind, that she would have access to all extra-curricular activities and socialization, etc. Bets says if she had known that, she might not have been so against it. I told her if she hadn't been so busy attacking me, I would have been able to tell her that, instead of defending my charector. So she does the little pouting routine, says I told her to leave and leaves. Good grief, when does it end?