Wondering

This doesn't relate to anything to your web, but I've been wanting to ask/talk to someone, but never got the nerve to. I'm a bit embarassed to even write this now, but something in me needs some sort of ?????-I'm not sure what it is I really need. Anyhows, what I wanted to know was what I can do to have Christ in my life again. I can't go to church because of the wrong I've done in my life, but I have a three year old, and in my heart, I know that he needs to go to church, especially to an LDS church. I can't correct my past, but I don't want my son not to have Christ in his life. I don't have enough in me to step into church again--actually, i think because of my past, i'd be excommunicated. How can my son still go? Can I possibly still have Christ in my life too? my guilt is so great that I often tell myself that I'm not worthy enough to go and that what i've done can never be forgiven....