Welcome to the MAG-ANAK Web Forum!
Welcome to the MAG-ANAK Web Forum!
The MAG-ANAK Web Forum is open to the public and is intended for general discussion of any topics that may be of interest to Filipino / Western couples.
Do not post messages which include profanity, racial or sexual slurs. If you object strongly to a message, feel free to state your case, but keep your messages clean and respectful. Flaming or abuse of any kind will not be tolerated.
Note: Failure to follow these guidlines will get your offending post deleted. Repeated failures will get you banned from the MAG-ANAK Web Forum.
Mag-Anak Moderators
Hi there, Help us find........
by Jona-Glenn
I need some info if where can we find a courier to carry our 60+ lbs Christmas gift to Cebu.... We inquired in FEDEX if how much would be the cost it's amounting $1200 .....very expensive..... We dont care if this would reach to Philippines by next year. We actually live in ALexander CIty, Alabama. If you can give us information guys...we really appreaciate it... THe big BOX is still in the room
Thank you so much...
JonaPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 5:47 PM
from IP address 68.113.79.23
Respond to this message
Return to Indexi've never sent anything that big to the philippines .. but i've sent a box or two in the past maybe somewhere near that big from the philippines to the states .. and ups has always done a good job .. pretty quick too ..though i don't remember the costs i know it wasn't 1200 bucks .. was somewhere around 100 i'm sure ..just can't remember exactly though.. anyway can't hurt to call them and get a quote try ups
by m.e.and merry christmas
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 6:21 PM
from IP address 205.161.172.201
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Jona, Balikbayan Box
by
Forget about FEDEX, UPS & the post office because they're too expensive. You need to find a freight forwarder in your area that specializes in shipping balikbayan boxes to the Phils. Most Filipinos I know ship them every year, so you can ask any Filipinos in your area. Often the small neighborhood Filipino stores are agents for the shippers.
They go by ocean freight and there's no weight limit. We just shipped one last week with LBC. It was $71.50 from San Diego to Mindanao and usually takes about 6 weeks for delivery to their door. I would imagine that you would have to pay a little more where you are, but it should definitely be under $125 or so.
Customs tips: Do not ship any electronics items, electrical appliances, or flammables. They won't charge customs duties in the Phils as long as you don't ship "resale quantities" of any item (usually 12 each).
Ray
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 6:43 PM
from IP address 63.232.60.56
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I shipped to my family in the Philippines, too using Manila Forwarders. They have jumbo box that is bigger and their box is thicker, too. Try Manila Forwarder
by Dominic Clemens
I found their company at http://www.manilaforwarder.comPosted on Nov 22, 2005, 11:29 PM
from IP address 71.137.169.84
Respond to this message
Return to Index
man i could get jealous so easily whenever i hear of places that have filipino stores and resturants and all that .. my wife will be most of the filipino community here when she gets here i wish we had a filipino comunity
by m.e.
good luck finding what you need jona-glenn hope you have more options then we havePosted on Nov 12, 2002, 8:23 PM
from IP address 205.161.172.201
Respond to this message
Return to Index
we use FOREX its a shipping co to the philippine, i have shipped over 10 boxes in the last 2 years, never anything missing, never opened. they are on the east coast and its 125.00, with no weight limit. the one we use
by jim in the pi
look for them on the web. i call them up and they pick it up., but it takes 3 months to get there, west coast cheaper and faster.
the 4j'sPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 3:16 AM
from IP address 158.252.83.218
Respond to this message
Return to Index
HI, hi
by
Are you from alabama and anong contact number ng forex, thanksPosted on Apr 2, 2007, 6:49 PM
from IP address 74.226.16.252
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Here's the Phone Number
by NNP
Hi Jona,
Here's the Phone Number of the "FCI BalikBayan Box Cargo"
1-800-752-4004 try call them to ask of their closest agent in Alabama because that's what we're using here in TN and they have a Branch in AL also. It will take about 1-2 months to get the package to the Philippines but it's more cheaper ($90-$105) and there's no limit in weight as long as it fits all in the box. Good Luck!
NNPPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 9:20 AM
from IP address 12.107.246.17
Respond to this message
Return to Index
n/t Have you seen any tornado's lately? n/t
by HumabdosPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 9:30 AM
from IP address 198.81.26.231
Respond to this message
Return to Index
touched down in the Northwest side of Washington.....Haven't heard much from them???.....Still trying to get ahold of it! LOL Was Tornado
by GenePosted on Nov 13, 2002, 3:35 PM
from IP address 68.0.93.4
Respond to this message
Return to Index
My comp. had (ADD) Attention Defecit Disorder . Then the hard drived crashed ! Nothing has been the same . Lookn For FEMA Rep.
by The Tool Man
No quiet times , a bed hog has invaded my sleeping
area . Everythng is handled several times and then moved to a different spot . Maybe FEMA will replace my hard drive and some of my missing tools and other assorted items to numerous to mention after the tornado spun through !
Have several new green things growin in pots around here now . The house is about as warm as Butuan City !
after workin ouside and comin in .. my eyes get heavy .... fast !
All in all .. I can't complain ! Gonna get a driver learners permit tomorrow ! Just a warning for any of you drivin in Eastern WA ! She says she is ready to start ... that remains to be seen ! She still has trouble shiftin the scooter . I may need a heart transplant after the first lesson !
Still doin well ..
one 10 year green card and SSN and state ID all in less than 3 weeks !
NOw if she could only guess the numbers in the
lottery !
The Tool ManPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 6:59 PM
from IP address 209.37.93.177
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Hi everyone shipping companies
by mrs j
Here's a web site that helped me find a shipping company. I went and got a box at Johnny Cargo. They ship to Cebu. Box is $ 2.50 and may be replaced when picked up. Their office in Cebu is in SM City. Shipping to Cebu is $ 80 per box regardless of weight, that's ocean cargo. They have air cargo too.
http://www.filipinolinks.com/Business/Transport_and_Shipping/Door_to_Door/
Hope this helps
Mrs J
Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 11:04 AM
from IP address 12.234.136.234
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Hi, hope someone can help me. My husband and I will be in Santa Maria, CA next week and hope some of you here can help me find a GOOD Filipino restaurant in the area. Filipino Restaurants in Central CA
by Mita
I won't mind going farther to LA if the restaurant is really good. I really want to have good old fatty kare-kare and rellenong bangus or the cholesterol-laden pinapaitan.
thanks in advance,
MitaPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 3:21 PM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to IndexYou are probably equidistant to Bakersfield or North Hollywood, both of which have large Filipino populations. Small Filipino restaurants sprout up and die fast everywhere. A couple of months ago we found a decent Pinoy restaurant in Lake Tahoe area that might have been there for years, but we found it by accident. all over the map
by
Anyway, talk to someone from Bakersfield, Pacoima, North Hollywood, etc., and you will find something good in those areas.
--RayPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 3:59 PM
from IP address 162.2.14.157
Respond to this message
Return to Index
for the tips, Ray. You come through under any circumstance! Thank you
by Mita
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 6:14 PM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
But if you go south on Hwy. 1 towards Santa Barbara, about 10 miles out of Santa Maria you'll drive straight into a little town called Lompoc (pronounced lompoke). Hwy. 1 temporarily becomes G St.--take a left on College St. and with another quick left you'll find a shopping center with Tom's Burgers, best burgers for miles. Don't Know of any Filipino Places
by Jason MPosted on Nov 14, 2002, 12:50 AM
from IP address 66.91.46.182
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Lompoc is where my husband has business so we'll certainly watch out for that place. I likes my burgers Sounds interesting..
by Mita
He told me about the Camaron Vaquero (Shrimp Cowboy) restaurant and the great seafood there. Have to try that just for the restaurant name.
Thanks,
MitaPosted on Nov 14, 2002, 9:38 AM
from IP address 68.64.25.180
Respond to this message
Return to Index
We had Kare-kare at Max's of Manila in Glendale and also at Barrio Fiesta in Glendale. Have fun on your trip to Sta. Maria. Filipino restaurant in Glendale, CA
by adlenivPosted on Nov 16, 2002, 12:56 PM
from IP address 209.179.232.208
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Has anyone ever been to Bohol Beach Club or Panglao Island Nature Resort? I'd like to hear about your stay, whether the service and accomodations are good and well worth the price. thank you. Bohol Resorts
by Fil-GalPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 11:59 AM
from IP address 66.31.240.148
Respond to this message
Return to Indexat the Bohol Beach Club. I thought it was a good place and reasonably priced. Nice beaches and not many people there and no people begging (unlike in Cebu). I was there
by
I would recommend it.Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 12:05 PM
from IP address 24.218.154.72
Respond to this message
Return to Index
yes, bohol beaches are nice esp. alona kew and the prices are reasonable, if u like, u may try PLANTATION BAY, in cebu city- the place is FANTASTIC! Re: Bohol Resorts
by leighPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 4:26 AM
from IP address 67.34.199.154
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Over Bohol!! Sorry but not for me. Why not just go to Hawaii lol What's so fantastic about white sand brought in from another island? A fake beach? polluted water? No good snorkeling, lol Yes the price is fantastic for sure! How about Club Panoly on Boracay? Plantation bay?
by Humabdos
When your at panglao make sure you make the trip to Balicasag Island for Diving or snorkeling. If you get the chance head to the CORAL CAY RESORT Siquijor http://www.mysiquijor.com/
Take a look at the Photos.
HumabdosPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 8:01 AM
from IP address 198.81.26.231
Respond to this message
Return to Index
humb, well, everybody is entitled to their own opinion(s)
by leigh
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I had been to both places (panglao and plantation bay). I would still say---- the latter is a FANTASTIC area, in general
leighPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 5:34 PM
from IP address 68.153.66.243
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Sorry to sound so ummm ummm well you know Agree!
by HumabdosYour right !
I've been to both also, while Plantation is nice I guess I like a more natural setting. The beach isn't that good at Panglao but the snorkeling and diving is much better than Mactan. Most of my trips are for over a month long so i can't afford to spend a $100 a night on a place to sleep.(And fake sand) (wouldn't even if I could)
HumPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 6:33 PM
from IP address 198.81.26.231
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Hi! bohol beach club
by mrs j
I've been to Panglao Island a few times. I think Bohol Beach club is one of the best resorts. It's a bit expensive but it's really worth it. They have two swimming pools, a massage kiosk, and a free ride with their glass bottom boat. Their food is ok. Their beach is really really nice!
I've also stayed at Bohol Diver's Resort. It's a little resort compared to Bohol Beach Club but it's more affordable. Their beach is not as good as Bohol's Beach Club since they only have limited space. But hey, it's on the same lane as Bohol Beach Club..so they have practically the same beach. They also have a swimming pool if you want to go swimming at night.
Alona Kew is pretty good too. It's closer to other resorts but I think it's a bit too cramped. Their food is pretty good!
Balicasag Island Resort is ok if you're going on a day trip. Staying there is not ideal. I almost got stranded because there was a typhoon that turned up in the area!
You may look them up on the web:
http://www.bohol.gov.ph/
http://www.travelsmart.net/ph/resorts/Bohol/
http://www.bohol-info.com/alonakew.html
http://mactan.net/phildivers/bdl_main.html
http://asiatravel.com/cebu/bohol/panglao/
You may also ask the "cab" driver to take you to these places so that you can choose which one you want.
Hope this helps
Mrs JPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 11:37 AM
from IP address 12.234.136.234
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Thanks for the info Mrs. J! Did you made your reservations through a travel agency, or did you deal with the resort directly? I'm just curious if the prices quoted are the same. I've had friends tell me that it's better to have someone who lives locally or in the Philippines to make the reservations so that the prices are cheaper but in my opinion, their prices are the same whether the visitor is from abroad or local. Bohol Beach Club
by Fil-GalPosted on Dec 1, 2002, 7:04 PM
from IP address 66.31.240.148
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Have been in touch with Senator Kennedy's office to try and get them to expedite both my I-130 and K-3 petitions. I just spoke to Mr. Kennedy's representative. The Vermont Service Center told them I should forget about the K-3 as I-130's are being processed faster than the K-3's. Doesn't this just beat everything
by
It's enough to make an onion cry.Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 7:59 AM
from IP address 161.44.149.241
Respond to this message
Return to IndexRobert, not necessarily true
by
Indeed, I-130's may be getting approved faster than K3 I-129F's, but that does not mean they are getting through the NVC faster than the K3's are getting to Manila.
Vermont folks are INS, and the NVC is State Dept.
Don't believe everything you hear from folks not directly involved with the process.
--RayPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 9:25 AM
from IP address 162.2.14.157
Respond to this message
Return to Index
but I am hoping that Ted Kennedy's office will also help push things through the NVC and wherever else it has to go. They seem to have at least gotten the INS moving (but that remains to be seen I suppose). I am not getting my hopes up about anything. Yes I know
byPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 11:41 AM
from IP address 24.218.154.72
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Robert, Re: Doesn't this just beat everything
by Earthling
I don't think 12 months is fast!
EarthlingPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 10:12 AM
from IP address 202.81.160.22
Respond to this message
Return to Index
New to Group
by
Hello Everyone,
just saying hi to the group...Im from around the cleveland area, and in the military as a computer network tech, at present stationed in Uijongbu, Korea and my asawa lives in Davao City..Any help or info or personal experiences you can advise us on will be appreciated...Thanks
check out our website,sorry its not quite done yet but will be soon, pleanty of pictures though..
http://www.geocities.com/asawa_ko2000/
Still under constructionPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 10:00 PM
from IP address 218.145.25.86
Respond to this message
Return to Index. Nice pic Robb! n/a
by Gilles
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 12:15 AM
from IP address 209.148.74.213
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Now that k3's delayed, i'm predicting our NOA2 approval for both (I-130 & K3) will come on the same month. I wanted to ask those who have recently gone through the I-130 route, how long does it take to receive the visa after getting the I-130 NOA2? With a K3, i've seen that after the NOA2 it will take more or less a month to get the visa. I got this I-130 advantages from the other forum (please correct me if i'm wrong) Is I-130 worth the wait, since k3's delayed?
by cebu_babe
1. IN I-130 visa we get a straight work permit and tavelling permit but in k3 we can't.
2. After getting k3 we have to file all the papers in US again and we have to wait 6 to 9 months to get green card and work permit.
3. We have to pay another fees when applying in US.
I-130 visa is far better, the question is how long that will take us to wait to get the visa???
thanks to all the infos in advance!
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 6:10 PM
from IP address 12.2.144.2
Respond to this message
Return to IndexYou are not taking into account the 2-4-month I-130 delay at the NVC. During that period you have to pay $60 for I-864 processing and $335 in advance for the spousal visa. I-130 and K3
by
I advise people to go as far with both procedures as they can and take the first visa that shows up.
--RayPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 8:00 PM
from IP address 207.173.232.64
Respond to this message
Return to Index
ray b, Re: I-130 and K3
by cebu_babe
the 2 - 4 months that you mentioned, is that the delay we need to wait after we received our i-130 noa-2 approval? thanks for the quick reply!
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 8:20 PM
from IP address 12.2.144.2
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Yep, after the approval NOA for the I-130, it goes to the NVC, and there are at least 3 exchanges of paper over the next 2-3 months: NVC step
by
1. Agent delegation form
2. biographic form
3. I-864, $60
4. $335 visa fee.
I've got about 5 packages that we did the I-864 stuck at the NVC now. Some of these involve co-sponsors and NVC has asked for more stuff two times over with some of them.
--RayPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 9:36 PM
from IP address 207.173.232.64
Respond to this message
Return to Index
hmm...what is agent delegation used for? agent delegation?
by Eric
Also, is there any advantage to giving my spouse power of attorney for the purposes of obtaining a visa? Chances are I will not be with her when she goes to Manila.
Thanks,
EricPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 4:30 AM
from IP address 192.91.75.32
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Agent Delegation is the result of your wife filling out a form and returning to the NVC, or through you to the NVC, designating you (or an attorney) as the person to receive all paperwork, etc. agent delegation
by
What would you want a Power of Attorney for? Your wife gets the visa, not you.
--RayPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 10:42 AM
from IP address 162.2.14.157
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Thanks Ray. I just cannot think of a reason for me to be a middleman for her papers. And we are not using an attorney. Do do-it-yourself K3'ers normally do this? agent delegation
by Eric
As for power of attorney, a filipina here told me she had pwr of attorney for her husband when she was going thru the visa process and that it really helped things. I'll have to ask her to elaborate.
Thanks,
EricPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 11:31 AM
from IP address 192.91.75.32
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Eric, we're not talking K3
by
The NVC step, with agent delegation, I-864, etc., is for the I-130 processing, not the K3.
For the lady at the Manila end to have a Power of Attorney for the husband makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. She does not have to do anything acting for you (except to cash your paycheck).
--RayPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 11:40 AM
from IP address 162.2.14.157
Respond to this message
Return to Index
c_b, IR-1 vs K-3
by
The IR-1 spouse visa has definite advantages over the K-3. You get your “green card” at the airport on arrival in the U.S. You don’t have to go through the hassles of the AOS (Adjustment of Status). You don’t need a work permit (EAD). You don’t need advance permission to leave the U.S. and return (Advance Parole). You can apply for U.S. citizenship much sooner after arrival.
The whole purpose of the K-3 was to re-unite families while waiting for the I-130 processing. But you still have some choices. If the K-3 paperwork arrives first in Manila, then you can later decide to either take the K-3 or wait for the IR-1. If the I-130 petition arrives in Manila first, then I believe that you have no choice and must continue with the immigrant visa processing, which makes sense. If you come over on a K-3, you still have the choice to do the AOS in the U.S. or return to Manila for your scheduled interview for the I-130 and then re-enter as an IR-1.
Like Ray B said, after you get your NOA-2 from INS, there is going to be an additional wait for the NVC processing before the I-130 petition goes to Manila. If you should start doing the K-3 processing in Manila and the I-130 comes through before you get your visa, you may want to seriously consider waiting a little while longer and taking the IR-1 because of the many advantages it offers. The processing in Manila is very similar for the IR-1 and the K-3. The total costs and fees for both are probably very close when you add everything up.
Good luck,
Ray
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 3:11 AM
from IP address 63.233.117.141
Respond to this message
Return to Index
cebu_babe, Our I-130
by Earthling
Just wanted to share our experience re the I-130. We went for the straight sposal visa, no K3. After the 2nd NOA, close to 4 months passed before we got the packet #4, give or take a couple of months of delay on our part. So technically speaking, it's an average of around 2 months before packet #4, with an interview date set for the following month. We're having ours in December.
EarthlingPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 6:29 AM
from IP address 202.81.160.22
Respond to this message
Return to Index
thanks to all the infos =) N/T
by cebu_babePosted on Nov 12, 2002, 3:45 PM
from IP address 12.2.144.2
Respond to this message
Return to Index
This post is mostly for the guys. Men who have raised children to adulthood will probably nod their heads, and the rest of you gents might pause and do the math. Thoughts on Fathering - Husbanding
by Ray (kauai)
When I was young, I, of course, had no knowledge of the responsibilities of being an elder. I am still learning this still as I take my 23 year old son as an apprentice carpenter in building a house.
In fathering young children, one quickly learns that you and the child are not equal at all. You are the boss and the child wants to
be the boss. Too realities. Not Equal!!! You train, condition, program the child to
LISTEN! You teach manners, ethics, attitudes, and you do this in a very controling way, always honoring the spirit of this soul in a little body, but still, you are either controling, or a half-ass. Regardless of whatever you do, you will, for better or worse, imprint your sense of culture on the kid, and mold them with your influence. If any of you reading this haven't had a child yet, I want to say that in the FIRST YEAR, you must implant the fear of god in the child, and that means, 'Mom and Dad are the boss', and if mom isn't LISTENED to, Dad we'll be the back up big time. You should talk to your wife about this, and tell her, an occasional spanking in the first two years will teach voice control, and then you will never have to spank again. If any of your buttons are being pushed by that last sentence then read the next one.... And you will have a well mannered child, a pleasure, and later, a best friend as an adult.
Now, some of you who have not raised children are wondering what it is like for a man in his 40's, 50's 60's to marry a woman in her early 20's. Do we father the wife???? Gentlemen, of course we do! We are elders. WE have a responsiblity. We can not fall to the lowest common denominator of wisdom. We must raise the young person, step by step to the next level. We do this with ALL young people, in a measured way appropriate to the relationship, but we are elders. You could live in denial, but why? If you are an elder, then you are.
Being an elder with a wife is interesting. With a teenager, you can say, "its my way or the hiway big shot!" But with a wife, there is no hiway. Its our way, or no way.
We expect our son to hit the road and protect himself. We expect our daughter to eventually find a man to protect her. But how about a young wife? She must grow
in her ability to take on responsiblity, but the context is within a lifelong commitment to teamwork, and we, men, ARE the protectors. Bottom line.
The elder relationship in marriage is much more delicate than raising a kid, and yet, one IS raising a kid, or maybe growing up with her, having already been there.
Is any of this condescending, controling, power tripping
--- no, its not. You are an elder. Act like one. If we don't, then pop culture will guide our lives, and not the wisdom accumulated by a sovereign individual who
has taken on the responsibility of caring for and
guiding-living with this young woman.
For those of you who jumped to conclusions about my situation, try not to. Apparently my wife can sink into negative sump to some degree, every moon cycle. This cycle included a threatening son of mine, her own age, a positive tb test, and... who knows. She is the best woman for me, the ONLY Filipina I have seen on a small island with 10,000 Philipino residents and fricking statue of Jose Rizal in the county seat, The ONLY Filipina I've seen who loves the ocean so much that she doesn't mind getting tanned. (If you don't know what "whitening" lotion is, ask your Filipina wife.) She loves camping. She isn't afraid of spiders. She is the best lover I've ever had. She has spunk! She is my true love. And she is 26 years younger than me. And erratic. We go ball room dancing weekly,
love our pet fish, rabbits, and birds, and enjoy the
coconuts growing in the back yard. "Get me a coconut Ray!" "Yes Dear!" Ray Bacon, Kauai is paradise. Yesterday I surfed in clear clear warm water, on an island in the middle of the Pacific, zero pollution. I don't think it gets better than this. And now I have someone to share it with.
We had a melt down. It really shocked me, but then, I don't have thick skin. I'm with a woman who really needs to have a child to fullfill herself and I know it will ground her in many ways. I've been too busy
with loans, permits, and architects to be there for her.
This weekend everything stopped for her. I even tuned up my guitar, which she loved.
Sometimes we need to hear the obvious from others, to help ourselves remember the obvious. I was helped a lot by the advice given in former post.
For some of you the subject of fathering is obvious because you have been through it. For others, when an elder with more experience speaks, see if you can catch
a few grains of truth in the blowing sand dunes.
Again, thank you all.
Ray Songtree, www.kauai-honeymoon.comPosted on Nov 10, 2002, 11:25 PM
from IP address 64.65.74.30
Respond to this message
Return to Indexhey ray! hello
by maryann_on_fire
everything will be ok :O)
as long as both of you are still talking to each other and communicating in every way possible... everything will be just fine!
BTW, I also love the sea...specially getting a tan! A fairer complection never suited me anyway...
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 12:23 AM
from IP address 202.57.66.36
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I guess its hard to stay fair complexion when you are on fire thanks
by Ray (kauai)
RayPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 4:39 PM
from IP address 64.65.74.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
hi ray, my thoughts
by jim in the pi
joanne and i now have 2 children. jay who is 18 months old and is blind, and jason steven who is 10 weeks old and is perfect.
jay is a hand full, he walks and runs into everything, but he will learn.
i will be 58 years old in 2 weeks. yea i should open a sperm bank!!
joanne, jay and jason steven are my world, i can't remember being this happy ever in my life.
even if we look like the griswalls when traveling, bags and more bags, i would not trade it for anything.
joanne is the grestest person i have ever known, she takes care of all of us and loves it.
my 2 cents worth.
the 4j'sPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 4:14 AM
from IP address 158.252.84.228
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I'm having problems with your positioning yourself as an elder and seeing that as a healthy choice in a marriage. Elder?
by
In your reply to me in the earlier post, you commented about equality. I didn't reply because your other posts indicated that you and your wife seemed to be on the mend, but it bothered me.
When you said, "My wife and I will never be equal, thank goodness. She will never be a man!", I cringed at the implied male superiority. Equality should be sought and prized, not poopooed as an exercise in feminism. I don't want to sound preachy, but people like Martin Luther King, Jr. died for the cause of equality. Great strides in civil rights came relatively recently, through immense sacrifice. Without equality, what good is this society in which we live?
I understand that you may have meant the comparison of acquired skills and experience when you spoke of equality, but age doesn't beget wisdom. An elder fool is still a fool.Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 6:16 PM
from IP address 68.14.14.229
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I never interpreted the statement as being anti-woman. And I can't figure out what M.L. King has to do with marrying an Asian. (He wasn't married to an Asian gal, was he?) Hmmmmm.....
by Anonymous
If a man marries a lady that is much younger than he is, then he has to consider coping with this situation. If you don't want to cope with it, then marry an older woman.
I don't think it's wrong to marry a much-younger lady, but you need to be preparred for the encounter.
Best wishes to Ray.
Stephen
PS....When M L King died, he was still a man wasn't he?
What have I missed? He didn't have a sex-change operations, did he?
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 7:49 PM
from IP address 64.163.242.118
Respond to this message
Return to Index
MLK's Asian wives and sex changes aren't the point. I was simply trying to say that equality isn't trivial and to set yourself up as an 'elder' seems ludicrous. Inequality
by
When two people are compared in a given situation, one is always going to be better at something than the other person. To paraphrase Elder Ray, years of living lends experience in certain areas. Of course you're going to guide people less informed (wife, son, co-worker, or whomever)! Of course you've got responsibilities! Of course you need an authoritarian method to raise children! That doesn't mean you need to introduce pomposity and dismiss anything else that may present itself.
My wife can do many things better than I can. I can program a PC better than she can. We've had different training and led different lives until we met. We help each other with our shortcomings. We are both equally responsible for our happiness and the success of our relationship.
I wonder what the wives think of "elders", "wisdom" and "equality".
Ray, maybe your wife was too young to marry. I sure as hell don't need or want to be a father to my wife.
Bear (and Honey), you said "Why is it never being equal implies superiority to some?" If you are not equal partners in your marriage, how do you communicate without condescension? How do you reach accord? Do you treat your wife as a petulant child?
I have no doubt that both of you try to be excellent husbands to the best of your abilities. Maybe my issue is with the phrasing. I can't see inequality as an acceptable part of marriage.Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 1:31 AM
from IP address 68.14.14.229
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Why is it never being equal implies superiority to some? I like the fact my wife and I are not equal. There are so many things I am superior to her in and so many she is superior to me in. The two of us together make a family and we, together, compliment the strengths and deminish the weaknesses of the other, we become unbeatable when the needs of the other are the goals of our lives. Hmmmm?
by
I will never be her equal nor her mine but then it really doesn't matter does it.
Bear and HoneyPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 7:53 PM
from IP address 24.160.95.214
Respond to this message
Return to Index
freudian that is Errr you slip is showing...
by
Now why didn't you put "Honey" first in you signoff???
hehehehe
Tak
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 11:34 PM
from IP address 203.97.2.243
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I'm not perfect...she is! Sorry
by
Bear and HoneyPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 4:05 AM
from IP address 24.160.95.214
Respond to this message
Return to Index
No one is perfect in this world nor your wife! Think about God!. Perfect?
by glimpsePosted on Nov 12, 2002, 4:49 AM
from IP address 217.122.38.223
Respond to this message
Return to Index
....a woman must do what he can't. LOL! A man's got to do what a man's got to do.....
by CarrPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 9:21 AM
from IP address 12.13.226.18
Respond to this message
Return to Index
ROTFL!! nm
by TakPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 10:42 PM
from IP address 203.97.2.243
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Thanks for your well chosen words. its a myth
by Ray (kauai)
I used to resent heirarchy. I now understand that all
things in the universe are in hierarchial relationships.
You've bought the myth of equality. It simply does not exist, no matter how much you want it to. I'm sorry my friend, but it doesn't. Lao Tsu starts by defining a universe of contrast with opposition as the source of all growth. No where in this very profound understanding is anything so stupid as 'equality'. I know you cringe, I used to also. But this is not a fair universe. Sorry. As the song by Talking Heads goes "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens' Luckily,
reality is not so boring. so forget the myth.
King was a warrior for the underdog. King had a dream of children playing together, not being equal.
You and your wife are not equal. Give her dominion over areas of your mutual life, and you have yours. It has nothing to do with 'superiority', a feminist slander of patriarchy, which you apparently have bought. ( I did too) It has to do with specialization of
of activities and not competing and negotiating over EVERY decision. I am not superior to younger people, but I am their elder.
I once spent a year cleaning elders in a nursing home. As you say, not all elder people are wise, but most people grow wiser with age.
I'm kind of adamant on this subject. Men, particularly white men, have been bashed into repressed wimps by feminism.
Just think about what I am saying. Its not evil. Its actually best for you and your wife. Forget equality, polarity is much more interesting
You write well, by the way.... imo.
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 12:50 AM
from IP address 64.65.74.66
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I've studied the Tao Te Ching and several other writings on Taoism. I've had lively discussions with many of my philosophy professors on the subject back when I was in school. Myth
by
Equality isn't precluded in Taoism. Indeed, yin-yang dynamics are equal parts of a whole in a system of ongoing tension. One force may be dominant for a time, but there is always an overall balance.
I think of my wife as my equal. To do less would diminish how I feel for her. As I said elsewhere in my Inequality post, my wife and I are both equally responsible for our happiness and the success of our relationship.
You and I have differing philosophical rationalizations for the same end result. We both love our wives and want what's best for the family. Good luck with your future bambino plans.Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 2:53 AM
from IP address 68.14.14.229
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Wow, someone else who has some exposure to non-dualistic good
by Ray (kauai)
eastern tninking.... Don't you see, concept 'equality'
is response to dualistic thinking, therefore still in same mind set.
But you can think anyway you want. My child and I might be equal in that we are both of the same species, but our power to manifest conditions are not equal. And same with my wife, or me and you. We aren't equal you and I. But why does this have to conjure up visions of superiority ????
Bottom line, in your marriage you are the protector almost all the time.
Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 10:44 AM
from IP address 64.65.74.28
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I am the protector in our marriage sometimes...have to protect my husband from himself! Re: good
by MitaPosted on Nov 12, 2002, 1:26 PM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Thats too funny....oh men, its illegal to live without them LOL! LOL! Mita....
by CarrPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 11:59 AM
from IP address 12.13.226.18
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Although I'm not sure I actually disagree with the premise put forward, I don't know that invoking the ubiquity of hierarchies in nature is the right thing to do here. Looking at examples from nature; Any living creature is in a hierarchy of classification (kingdom-phylum-class-order-family-genus-species). But, for example, when one considers the members of the same level in the hierarchy, say, oaks (genus Quercus), one cannot logically assign one species (the only part of the classification system that actually exists in the real world)a higher rank than any other. The breeding systems of many animals have a hierarchy. But it's a hierarchy of males. I looked at Chemistry and hierarchy, too. Consider that there are energy levels around the nucleus of an atom that electrons occupy, a hierarchy. But, all of the electrons in the same level possess approximately the same energy. Hierarchies, Submission, Oak Trees, etc
by Rancid Crabtree
The best example of what you're getting at, I suppose, is the social structure of insects. But we're not insects.
This kind of topic makes for interesting palaver on a forum like this, but I'm not sure I like to think about my marriage in terms of me being at a different level than her in a hierarchy. Perhaps I am not understanding something here. I'm kinda thinking that maybe it might be better if neither husband nor wife gave much thought to this. If the existence of a hierarchy is expressed or implied, I kinda think there's trouble brewing sometime in the future.
We live under a patriarchal system. But it ain't that simple as you surely know. The nominal leader, the man, is not always the de facto leader. Women have often wielded considerable power. Jezebel, Herodias, Theodora of Byzantium, and Hillary Clinton come to mind. Perhaps some relationships function well with the man as the recognized leader, but as Carr pointed out, he better have the consent of the governed .
The house we live in is mine, by golly. It's my name that is on the deed. But if I walk through the door without kicking off my muddy boots, she'll commence to hollering like a Filipino drill sergeant. And it was my call about if and when we would buy that new car. But if I put a scratch on it, she'll likely come after me with a shovel handle.
A while back I came home dog tired. I wanted to kick back and relax immediately. But she insisted that I take her to the Filipino store. a 20 minute drive each way. She needed to buy a bottle of that effifascent stuff. She likes it to rub on my back at night.Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 10:12 AM
from IP address 129.113.82.50
Respond to this message
Return to Index
How do you ever do that? You managed to teach about hierarchies in your own redneck way LOL! oh Rancid....
by Carr
You are absolute funny--they should clone you, ya know!Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 11:40 AM
from IP address 12.13.226.98
Respond to this message
Return to Index
anybody has ever suggested that it would be good if I reproduced!!! Harharhar! Thanks Carr!! That's the first time...
by Rancid Crabtree
Actually, I have often thought that it would be nice to have a son. But then I get to thinking about that poor boy's future. I envision the following scene:
Down at the school district main office, the superintendent, old Mr. Watson, is reading down the roll sheet for the new first grade class:
"Bennett......Bonner......Carson.....Clancy.....Crabtree.................CRABTREE!!??!?!?!!! Oh #&%@$#!!!!! Not another Crabtree!!!!! If that boy's as dumb as his old man, he'll be here 15 years, too!!! Screw this! I'm gonna retire!!!"
So if I ever do have a son, I think we'll move to some other state.Posted on Nov 14, 2002, 7:44 AM
from IP address 129.113.82.50
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Actually, you are the first intelligent redneck I know LOL! Not that I'm exposed to many of them.... Maybe he'll take after Mrs. Crabtree...
by Carr
Too funny!Posted on Nov 14, 2002, 7:53 AM
from IP address 12.13.226.98
Respond to this message
Return to Index
I liked it! lol Ya made my day with your funny comments! he he he
by GillesPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 9:14 PM
from IP address 209.148.75.47
Respond to this message
Return to Index
It's good to see ya around here again. Did you ever get a grade for that essay about the dogs barking? Hi Gilles
by Rancid CrabtreePosted on Nov 14, 2002, 1:21 PM
from IP address 129.113.82.50
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Thanx for your welcomimg note! Gee ya got a good memory! And a real awsome writing skills too! B +
by Gilles
I lost most of the points on:
1.- grammar related problems like ponctuation and bad use of gerund/infinitive etc. (the ultimate worst one to fix for a French)
2.- topic sentences
3.- smooth transitions
4.- few errors in spite of the use of my spell checker
I got all 8/8 points allowed to originality and creativity. Same in layout organization 5/5.
Still working on it. I composed 4 others since then, but I cannot blow the B+ barrier out! grrrrr!!!Posted on Nov 14, 2002, 3:37 PM
from IP address 209.148.71.181
Respond to this message
Return to Index
From WBS? Stormylynn and the crew? Hey Rancid, is that really you?
by tx mongoosePosted on Jun 30, 2006, 8:33 PM
from IP address 71.96.102.149
Respond to this message
Return to Index
From WBS? Stormylynn and the crew? Hey Rancid, is that really you?
by tx mongoosePosted on Jun 30, 2006, 8:34 PM
from IP address 71.96.102.149
Respond to this message
Return to Index
My husband and I are equal. We have the same goals and ambition with regards to our future and family. We sit down and make decisions together. He doesn't decide anything without first talking to me and vice-versa. I know his strengths and weaknesses and he knows mine. We complement each other. And though I am 3 years older than him, I consider him the head of the family...one of the force that keeps our family intact. Nicely put, Tony...
by Carr
I am your average submissive wife but he makes it easier for me to submit to him. He is a good leader and provider. I contribute to the family coffers and always ready to pick up the baton if he stumbles (in sickness or is incapacitated) and he appreciates the help I provide. My respect and love for him goes deeper by the years and he earned both from the very first time I met him.
We are different and yet the same. We don't dwell on our differences but celebrate the best of both worlds. Colby is a splitting image of both of us.
I know I sounded like a starry-eyed, so much in love little girl with a crush here....but honestly this is my feelings. He takes my breath away. And I'm glad to have found my equal.Posted on Nov 12, 2002, 8:49 AM
from IP address 12.13.226.98
Respond to this message
Return to Index
"You should talk to your wife about this, and tell her, an occasional spanking in the first two years will teach voice control, and then you will never have to spank again." (quoting you Ray) Imagination and creativity.
by Gilles
I think you are full of imagination. I admire and even agree with your "fear of God theory". But if spanking is your way to imprimt this, you need a whole lot of creativity.
And if you think that God is a spanking father, then we did not read the same Gospel. (Luke 15, 11-32)
_______________________________________________________
ALTERNATIVES FOR TODDLERS
Disciplining toddlers requires a tremendous investment of time, energy and patience, so it is important to find effective and appropriate techniques. For example, it will not be effective to tell toddlers not to play with items that are dangerous, such as the stove, because they do not understand the consequences.
Spanking, however, will not clarify the consequences either. Instead, children may learn from spanking that "I'm a bad person," rather than "I did a bad thing." You must use discipline methods consistently or your child will learn that you are not serious.
•Make sure the environment is safe by removing any harmful or dangerous objects. It is natural for toddlers to want to explore their environment.
•Always supervise toddlers; it is unrealistic to expect a toddler to play safely without adult supervision for more than a few minutes.
•Avoid direct clashes with toddlers, which will only make both of you angry and frustrated. Instead, try a diversion or distraction. Many problem situations can be eased with something funny or unexpected, such as tickling a mildly upset child.
•Use your size and strength to eliminate situations. Simply lift a child out of the bath or carry a child who refuses to walk.
•If you start to deliver a slap, divert it to your knee or a table. This sound will interrupt the behavior without hitting the child.
_______________________________________________________
For more information and seeds for creativity, please visit this site:
http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/aboutspanking/
_______________________________________________________Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 2:20 AM
from IP address 209.148.75.132
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Children learn to respect and obey authority from their perfect example
by ray (kauai)
parents, or later from the law.
Particularly with single moms raising Boys, the connection
between lack of father and later criminal activity has
been studied.
"Avoid direct clashes with toddlers, which will only make both of you angry and frustrated. " your quote.
What a joke! You see this in supermarkets. Moms negotiating with their infant children. There is no Boss.
And if there is more than one child, the single mom gets overwhelmed, loses control, and children are not well mannered, a school teacher's nightmare.
Your post avoids the perhaps unpleasant truth. Human
beings are selfish, and in a family, order is maintained by hierarchial authority, not parlimentary procedure.
I actually never recall spanking our infant son, but somehow we were authoritarian enough so he was under voice control
at early age, something a lot of parents don't have. Later we would throw him out in the snow if he was acting like a total jackass. That only had to happen twice I think. He came back in sobered up.
Tough love works. Goodie goodie love, in this real world, teaches the child to argue and coerce to the limit.....and the limit is your sanity
Have you raised a child to maturity yet????
Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 10:06 AM
from IP address 64.65.74.46
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Yes sir I am the father of a 27 y/o girl. And this is what she teaches in her psychology classes at University. The rest of the time she takes care of her 2 boys. Did I say that you were full of imagination? I'm afraid I did!
by Gilles
It is not better when to avoid an extreme, you promote its opposite.Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 12:43 PM
from IP address 209.148.75.227
Respond to this message
Return to Index
... when I read that you tuned up your guitard. I must say that I was touched ...
by Gilles
Good luck to you!Posted on Nov 14, 2002, 4:16 PM
from IP address 209.148.71.181
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Hi Ray ... n/t
by Michael MoreyPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 4:19 PM
from IP address 24.219.13.20
Respond to this message
Return to Index
...check out the old testament. God is a spanking father ...
by Michael MoreyPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 4:16 PM
from IP address 24.219.13.20
Respond to this message
Return to Index
The Old Testament without the Gospel makes you a Jew. Jesus was a Jew and came to accomplish the Word of God. I'm Christian. I recognize and acknowledge His teaching! Are you Christian?
by Gilles
You will never be a Jew coz it is not in your veins. They don'y want you in their family! And if by mistake you are still with the Old Testament "only", you are missing the whole message of Jesus-Christ. You miss the purpose of His mission on earth as the Son of God.Posted on Nov 13, 2002, 9:04 PM
from IP address 209.148.75.47
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Your comments accuse a person who refers to the old testament as being unchristian. Remember, Jesus and the apostles quoted extensively from the the old testament. It is actually all part of the same book you know. All right then, God spanked his children in the NEW testament: The ancient nation of Israel were his children and he disciplined them on many occasions. About 1,100,000 were killed and the temple was destroyed (for the second time) when Jerusalem fell in 70 C.E. No need to get all excited ...
by Michael Morey
Furthermore, please read what Paul wrote at Hebrews 12:5-6.
"You have also forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons: 'My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowleges.'"
Posted on Nov 15, 2002, 12:53 PM
from IP address 24.219.13.20
Respond to this message
Return to Index
"Your comments accuse a person who refers to the old testament as being unchristian." (quoting you) I never said that!
by Gilles
Unchristian is a person who refers "only" to the Old Testament That's what I said. If you feel offended with this or not is another story.
Please don't compare the Gospel, the teaching of Jesus Son of God, and St-Paul's epistles. Paul was a freshly converted brutal Jew army officer. History reports his numerous killings. He was probably raised brutally.
Spanking toddlers is one step away from child abuse. It is so true that Ray himself felt like completing and reorienting his comments: "I actually never recall spanking our infant son" (quoting him)
I've probably seen more child abuse and its consequences when I worked in Children's Aid Society than you will never be able to imagine yourself: that's why I get so "excited".
I'll say it sound and clear again: Spanking toddlers in the name of God is clearly a lack of creativity, and it can lead to all kind of abuses. The fact is that this method is useless because the long term effect of instant fix spanking is proven dangerous and negative. So please don't promote it.
Amen!Posted on Nov 15, 2002, 3:59 PM
from IP address 209.148.75.26
Respond to this message
Return to Index
if you think that the Bible is one book because separate pieces of paper are binded together... then...we will certainly never speak the same language and ...
by Gilles
46 Old Testament books
27 New Testament ones
for a total of 73 books.
Mostly all preceeded by a long oral tradition and then compiled by various authors at different dates of composition.
You can be a darn good Christian and even a saint without erudition. But if you want to use the scriptures to make your point, I think you should at least get a few biblical theology classes because I'm not gonna let you fling just anything you picked up here and there.
Sorry but if someone wants to promote spanking and I'm around, I'll certainly brandish a banana peel. Chances are that you'll slip on it...Posted on Nov 15, 2002, 4:26 PM
from IP address 209.148.75.26
Respond to this message
Return to Index
My fiancee is in the Philippines right now and is asking for some money. Nothing much and definately within reason and I am happy to do so. Sending Money
by Randy
But, what is the best way to get it to her?
She lives pretty far from any "major" city (Lucena is the closest and it is a few hours away).
I am sure this has been done before by the people here, so what is the recommended way to send her money????Posted on Nov 10, 2002, 8:04 PM
from IP address 192.91.75.29
Respond to this message
Return to IndexThe fact that she is asking for money is a red flag to me. Proceed with caution. red flag.
by shadow
One method that works well is to open a savings account here in the states in your name, then send her the ATM card.
You can then send her the card fedex. Give her specific instructions to not draw out all the money. You can then deposit whatever amount you want her to have, and she will usually have access to it the first working day.
Charges vary somewhat by bank, but usually amount to almost nothing. The banks I have used charged $2 a month maintenance fee if the balance average is below $200, plus $1 each time the card is used.
Look for banks whose cards display the CIRRUS or PLUS logo. I have had good luck with these. There are ATMs almost everywhere that will honor these cards. She may have to look around a little for one if she is in a remote area, but there should be one nearby.
Good luck.
Larry.Posted on Nov 10, 2002, 8:29 PM
from IP address 65.124.47.30
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Lucena has most if not all the major Philippine banks. BPI and PCI have Cirrus. Re: red flag.
by Mita
Best way is to send by Western Union if she needs it ASAP and if this is not a regular arrangement.
Like Larry said, be cautious with women who ask you for money. It would be a different thing if you offered first.Posted on Nov 10, 2002, 8:44 PM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
"My fiancee is in the Philippines right now and is asking for some money. Nothing much and definately within reason and I am happy to do so." Larry and Mita
by Jay
What part of these sentences did you two not understand? Red flag?? The man said it was his FIANCEEPosted on Nov 10, 2002, 10:10 PM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
No disrespect meant. Just a friendly advice. I've seen things happen here on this same board that were not to anyone's liking - almost always for money. Re: Larry and Mita
by Mita
Posted on Nov 10, 2002, 10:28 PM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
he said it was his fiance. He didn't say how long she had been his fiance, nor how long they had spent in each others personal company before she became his fiance. Yes,...
by shadow
For that matter, she may very well have become his fiance specifically in order to extract money from him.
This exact scenario has happened on more than a few occasions, to quite a few people.
I did not say it was happening here, I merely pointed out he should 'proceed with caution'.
It seems after they ask for money once and get it, it gets much easier to ask for money. Pretty soon the uncles cousin needs money for an operation, etc. It often turns into an endless pit that ends in disaster.
I stand by my words of caution. I learned that hard lesson from my own experience.
Larry.Posted on Nov 10, 2002, 10:58 PM
from IP address 65.124.47.39
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Jay I had one bad experience 3 years ago and I got the lesson. The next time after, I found the honest Pearl. I'd even get stiffer
by Gilles
If she ask for money: FOUND ANOTHER FIANCÉE! As simple as that! My today wife was poorest than the poors and never asked! Still today I have a hard time to know for sure what she needs.
If she doesn't ask: offer something you can verify. Never give again before having checked the result of the first amount sent. Send money for a land line installation for instance and test her! Or simply offer the purchase of anything and ask for the receipt by mail.
Jay, trust is not something that we get born with. It is something that is built through honest moves.Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 12:57 AM
from IP address 209.148.71.206
Respond to this message
Return to Index
1.- Only after a year I offered P8,000/month allowance. By the same token
by Gilles
2.- In my case I have 2 bank accounts and they are accessible via internet. My big money (pay checks) is deposited in account A, a branch close to my house, and I sent her debit cards (CIRRUS is twice as much honoured in the Philippines than PLUS) of the account B, a branch close to my job. From my home computer, I just transfer the amount of her allowance she cashes every 14 days, from account A to B. All this is done instantly and you can even check when she withdraws live. I always warn her via Chikka when it is ready for the move.
WARNING: if she makes a mistake and punch more than the amount in the account or if she punches saving account instead of checking account, the ATM will swallow the card and she will never see it anymore: the bank manager will refuse to give it back. IT HAPPENED TO US! So send at least 3 cards for safety (you are allowed to 100 a year!).Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 1:14 AM
from IP address 209.148.71.206
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Yes, I suppose you all are right. It just seemed to me, a little presumptious(sp) to assume anything from that post. Larry, Mita and Gilles
by Jay
Thinking back on it now, I didn't send my wife any money either while she was my fiance. I met her in the Philippines while working and living there. So instead of sending her money, I got her a better job before I left. LOL! A good job. Decent pay. She was ok with that. However, if she didn't have a job, I would have sent her an allowance. I also would have been real skeptical about "emergencies".
So yes your right about being skeptical, and red flags and all. Especially in a pen-pal situation. I was too, and I knew my wife. At least I thought I knew her.
Yesterday was our 8 year anniversary. I look back and realize how little I knew her then. What a wonderful woman/person/human being she is. I don't have adaquate words to describe her. I didn't have a clue then. I just thought she was beautiful, intelligent, sincere, funny, creative, calm and cool, tough, frugal, witty, cute and had the finest butt I have ever laid eyes on. I didn't know I was only scratching the surface.
Anyway, didn't mean to go on the " I got the best girl" trip. LOL! But, I do!
Good luck to all. Your results may vary.
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 2:08 AM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Gilles, although I agree with the general theme of the responses (use caution), I disagree with your advice to get another fiancee if she asks for money. If you have pledged marriage to a woman you need to make life a little more comfortable for her, even if most of her needs are already taken care of at home. It shows you care. Of course you must be careful to a degree, depending on how much you know about that person. However, getting rid of a lady who is supposed to be your future wife (hopefully), because she asks you for money, is a bit harsh IMHO. By the same token...
by Jay
Let me ask you a question. I'm being light hearted when I ask, so please don't be offended. You are in Canada, I believe. Would a Canadian woman let you get away with not giving her some money and she was your fiancee? Meanwhile you eat what you want when you want and she only has the bare minimum? I doubt it. I know an American woman wouldn't put up with that for long. She would "kick your butt to the curb", quick! So why should a Filipina put up with it?
I know it's a tentative agreement when a fiance petition is filed, but by the same token, so is living seperately in the same city here in The West and being engaged.
Not saying anyone or everyone should give thier fiance money, it's up to you. I'm just saying don't be surprised and don't think they are evil if they do. After all, it's your fiance, right? Not just some woman who if she meets all your expectations, will be the "lucky" winner of a marriage to a foriegner.
If it's done right, your 99.99% sure this is gonna work out before you propose.
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 3:00 AM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
is it done right. I wonder exactly what the percentages are of men proposing to women in the Philippines before they have spent more than two weeks in her company. Or, how many propose BEFORE they have met them in person. But seldom...
by shadow
It seems many of these 'fiances' become so after only a week or so of knowing each other, aside from emails. Or even worse. It's impossible to really know someone in that amount of time.
I am not saying the man should not help out his fiance. I am merely stating that for her to ask raises a red flag. Most of the good catches would not ask.
Yes, I would probably send a certain amount, depending on how far along this relationship actually was. But I would also put one mark on the ol scorecard, and not ignore it at a later date if and when other red flags started popping up like whitecaps on a stormy sea.
Some seem to get lucky at this, and others get taken.
YOU LUCKY DOG!!
Larry.
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 6:28 AM
from IP address 65.124.47.24
Respond to this message
Return to Index
LMAO! Lucky is right! Re: But seldom...
by Jay
Good post.
Bon Voyage, Larry. Have a good trip.
JayPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 7:25 AM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Everyone knows how much I have blasted the gold diggers. But when you ask someone to marry you then you are obligated to help her. I don't mind sending Sallie money at all she lost her job because of all the trips she had to make to Davao trying to get her birth CERT corrected it took us five months to get it and then it wasn't on NSO paper like we requested. Just this part of the process cost several hundred because of what we had to go through. Then there are passports, cell phone expenses, CFO , Trip to manila. All of this cost money and it adds up quickly. I agree Jay 100%
by Humabdos
No, Sallie didn't ask I offered I know she didn't have much money. How could anyone expect their fianceto pay for all this on P200 a day? Its impossible.
If you don't trust your mahal with money then you shouldn't get married period. If you can't or won't help her then your a sorry excuse for a human being. Just my .02 HumPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 8:10 AM
from IP address 198.81.26.231
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Sounds like you got the right woman this time, Hum. Congratulations! Re: I agree Jay 100%
by MitaPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 9:05 AM
from IP address 68.70.110.40
Respond to this message
Return to Index
"I know an American woman wouldn't put up with that for long. She would "kick your butt to the curb", quick!" Well, Jay... ya got it right on!
by Gilles
This line of yours precisely describes why I avoided an American woman, and why I married a Filipina.
Far from being the American bItch you described, she is very grateful. She is aware and she respects the fact that, if I got no debts and can make it through financially with her, it is because of my own sweat. I don't owe anything to anybody including her! If she wants more, the job market is wide open!
At times, when I paid off everything, she has more pocket money than I got! Everything I have, everything I do is for her... but I don't have to! Only my heart (with a bit of common sense in a responsible brain) dictates what I will give.Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 6:39 PM
from IP address 209.148.74.213
Respond to this message
Return to Index
You got it right. Ya don't need any lectures from me. LOL! Good luck to you! Sounds like....
by Jay
JayPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 10:40 PM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
to know someone else got the same wonderful woman I did. Butt and all!!!! It warms my heart
by Gene
Congrats! LOLPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 3:12 PM
from IP address 68.0.93.4
Respond to this message
Return to Index
n/t LOL! Thx Gene....I think!
by JayPosted on Nov 13, 2002, 10:37 PM
from IP address 66.176.67.82
Respond to this message
Return to Index
to send money, cost is much cheaper than using WesternUnion. Send her debit cards for future use. If she's the "One", then there is nothing wrong with you sending her money. Just be reasonable and don't spoil her. Set a limit to what you will give her, ignore requests for emergency funds. I send my Son's mother $140 month becuz she's his mother, other requests from her is simply ignored. Hi Randy...Use LBc
by gregPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 9:22 AM
from IP address 209.240.198.61
Respond to this message
Return to Index
to send money, cost is much cheaper than using WesternUnion. Send her debit cards for future use. If she's the "One", then there is nothing wrong with you sending her money. Just be reasonable and don't spoil her. Set a limit to what you will give her, ignore requests for emergency funds. I send my Son's mother $140 month becuz she's his mother, other requests from her is simply ignored. Hi Randy...Use LBc
by gregPosted on Nov 11, 2002, 9:26 AM
from IP address 209.240.198.61
Respond to this message
Return to Index
Randy, Re: Sending Money
by
You might want to look for money remittance centers in your area. There are several reputable companies around that offer remittance services primarily to Filipinos sending funds back home to the Phils. Ask Filipinos in your area.
I have been using PNB Remittance Centers for several years and I would recommend them. It costs you $7 to transfer funds directly to a PNB account in the Phils and $10 if she doesn’t have an account. You can also have cash delivered to her door for slightly more. Transfer to a PNB account takes a few hours to a few days, depending on the branch and day, etc. You would normally go to their office if there is one in your area and pay cash. You can also mail in your remittance. See their Web site:
http://www.pnbrci.com/
LBC is another one that offers a similar service. You can also use Western Union but it will cost you a lot more.
Ray
Posted on Nov 11, 2002, 1:43 PM
from IP address 63.232.58.62
Respond to this message
Return to Index
First let me say that it is always a good thing to be cautious about sending money to someone. The advice about being cautious is definately worthwhile. More Info Needed
by Randy
But in my case I have been communicating for over 6 months and have visited her on 4 different occasions - from 3 days at a time to over a week at a time. So I feel comfortable about sending money because I know her pretty well and I have a sense of trust with her (and ofcourse she is my fiancee).
I looked at the remittance centers suggested (LBC and PNB) and they do not serve Dallas Texas. I like the idea of sending money directly to her bank account rather than a wire service.
I looked on the net and found that some Credit Unions can send money through a service called IRnet (I will not post the link about this service because I am not sure if it is allowed - but search for it on the net and I am sure it can be found at the woccu link).
The debit card sounds reasonable, but I am not sure if it makes sense with her being so far out of the city.
In my searching on the net I found a service offered by Citibank that will do international transfers directly into her account for what appears to be $10. The only drawback is that the transfer minim
