This is a section that belongs to those of us that have family, friends, or even ourselves that are having problems with Alcohol and or Drug Abuse.
Feel free to post a poem here and or a message.
Take Care and GOD BLESS..
Love ya!
Sassy Cajun
Fastpace Toward Darkness-Will I Die?
by Myself
Your running like an athelete towards your next fix,you catch the bag and insert the needle with a closed fist.Now your flyin high and lovin it all. You slip into your little space where only darkness can fall. A few days go by and your bag is still full, your running and running but now it starts to get dull. The bags getting smaller and you start to feel weak,though the days before had been such a good tweak. You've spent all your money on cigarretes and cheap booze, you want some more dope but your body feels abused. You searching and hunting for a little more dough, but the people your with are all ready to go. You beg and you plead," Bring me back just one more hit!"They laugh and they tell you,"Hey sure we will bitch." You start to remember how you got in this mess,the guy you were with promised the best. Now he's with someone else and your all alone, he just wanted sex and someone to control. He chewed you up and spit you out,you've now found out what hes all about. He kept you around to use and abuse,kept you high so he could do what he choosed.The needle and spoon is to what your addicted,the pleasure and pain of what it all has inflicted.Will I die today,if I do I won't care,take me to Heaven so i'll be unaware.
Posted on Apr 15, 2004, 12:35 PM from IP address 69.92.33.4
This poem is so true,thats what happens to young girls who get caught up in the dope game so young.I've expierienced it myself when i first started. I feel for you and hop you get out of this. Take care whoever you are.
Posted on Apr 15, 2004, 12:42 PM from IP address 69.92.33.4
I Lost Myself
All gone all alone all depprest
Why do I die to live?
Where is my mind?
Do I have real friends?
Will I ever fall asleep?
Am I to blind to see where this night would lead.
Surrounded by four walls tripping balls.
I wish I would die to end this pain.
The pain of suffering, despair, anger, hoplessness, and addiction.
I have made everyone I loved suffer. Suffer through the emergency visits, suffer through the rehab clinics, suffer because I won’t wake up suffer because they hate something that they love.
I sit and flip Cd’s hoping they cure my disease. I’m in despair. There is no hope for me. I’m gone to the point of no return. I have quitting quitting drugs.
I hate myself. I hate Mary. I hate rolls. I hate K. I hate Cid. I hate Candy. I hate Ice. I hate to Speed. I hate Love Hate Relationships.
I hate myself.
It’s over, throw the towel in. I give up. I’ve lost myself. I’m hidden beneath ton of rock to never be seen again. All that’s left is the flesh.
I have a need to finish this deed. So Ill finally be free.
Addiction-compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful (websters dictionary). Yes that’s me. They should put my picture along with this. You see kids this could be you. He had everything. Loving family, good grades, pretty/caring girlfriend, nice car. Look at him now……
(The needle clings as it hit the bathroom floor) Dead.
Posted on Apr 12, 2004, 8:49 AM from IP address 144.162.107.64
This is good writing. Getting the emotioal feelings out on paper. That's where we come from! Good job! Goodluck! Stay alive! I have some writings you would relate to on Creative poems.com. THE RIDE OF GUILT and LAST BREATH. There are other writings there besides these two and there are more to be added still.
RoLinda Vigil *illusion
Posted on Nov 1, 2005, 7:30 AM from IP address 4.254.69.98
This is your life, its so ****ing intense
It leaves you wondering what happened, it doesn’t make sense
Your folks have told you about the birds and the bees
So I’m going to tell you about the cops and the trees
Weather you slam it, snort it, suck it through a glass tube
The Meth Monster knows you’re sick
First it’s your friends, and then it’s your wife
You’re convinced you don’t need them; they’re trashing your life
Then one day you realize and see
They’re all part of a conspiracy
You hide in your house, best friends you avoid
You’re a strung out mother****er, straight paranoid
Now this **** has taken a nasty turn
You jumped into the fire, and started to burn
What once was for kicks, now seems all so real
So you get a brainstorm and think “Hey, I should deal”
Now your time is spent just making your rounds
You started with quarters, then ounces, now pounds
Now you’re in the chapter of the Crankster’s sick book
Knowing from the start there’s going to be trouble
You sit spinning in your lab watching it bubble
Now you’re being watched by the Feds and DTF
You still wanna cook that Meth
Then one night you’re minding your store
Twenty-one punk-ass policeman come crashing through the door
They bum rush you, stick a knee in your chest, SCREAM
Freeze you ****in’ junkie, you’re under arrest
Now you’re going to court with your public pretender
You’d have a better chance sticking your dick in a blender
The Judge won’t make a deal, He’ll give twenty to life
So you call home collect, and your buddy’s ****in’ your wife
Now you’re walking the prison yard, you look back and reflect
How did my life get so ****ed up and wrecked?
Then a flash in my head like a big neon sign says
I think I’ll get out and cook just one last time..
PLEASE, DON'T EVER TRY TO COOK METH!
I found this poem the other day and i thought it was a great one and wanted others to see it.
Posted on Mar 15, 2004, 11:59 AM from IP address 64.107.246.50
cooking dope is not a gift or a talent as people seem to think it is so cool these days i have to tell you it is a curse from the time you learn to the time you go to prison you are cursed to the very worst ways if i could go back i would have never learded to do it it has got everything so ****** up
please donmt ever use or cook meth
Posted on Sep 3, 2005, 10:38 AM from IP address 24.158.166.156
I have been clean now for 25 days and it is very hard b/c i do it all on my own with the help of my two best friends who i hide my problem from. Basically, my family hates me and it makes it even harder and going to NA meeting makes it very hard for me. I haven't touched the meth in over 25 days but instead of doing meth i drank, smoke pot, or take pills everyday. It seems the only time i want to do anything that i know that i shouldn't is when i get off the phone from my mom b/c she knows and is a total bitch about it. Basically if anyone could give me some advice i would greatly appreciate it. My email address is jenn_droege0802@hotmail.com. Also i like all the things everyone wrote but there isn't a whole lot that i can relate to if anyone nows of anthing let me know.
Thank you
Posted on Mar 15, 2004, 11:57 AM from IP address 64.107.246.50
Im 25 and was using meth for 9 years. The last two years became every day all day long. I used to live and lived to use. One day I woke up in jail and was informed that welfare took my 2 daughters. I had to get help because no matter what I tried I could not stop using. I went to a rehab center that changed my life. I learned that my problem was me not drugs. When I could not accept any person, place, thing, or situation around me I would use. Meth numbs any unwanted feelings. My advice to you is acceotance and honesty. Be honest with your friends. accept your family for the way they are cause you cant change them. Using any other drug or drinking is just another way out. Instead you need to deal with your problems and accept it.
Posted on Mar 27, 2004, 4:07 PM from IP address 63.187.72.219
E-mail me and well chat I've been addicted to meth for 6 yrs now and it's the hardest thing I've ever tryed to kick ....And yes my friend I'm still an addict and still using just did a line befor coming across yr message....Take care hope we chat soon bye 4 now
Posted on May 6, 2004, 9:44 PM from IP address 24.69.255.236
I feel like Im driving myself crazy
thinking about the same thing over and over
That i cant breathe or go to sleep
this feeling has been here for too long
I think it should carry on
and leave me to rest
i cant cantrol what i think
i cant control my breathing
but what i can control
is saying that i am leaving
and going on to a mych more wonderful place
Posted on May 15, 2004, 10:12 PM from IP address 64.12.116.83
well yeah tha poem is co'..but yeah anyways i know what your going through but believe me its best you feel this way than the way i feel b/c meth really ****ed up my life at night i feel i cant breathe the only 2 persons that i truth in is God and la Virgensita De Guadaluoe but yeah just stay clean and yeah if you want u can email me back and tell me how u feel..take care...leave the meth it aint feeling the way i feel trust me!!!!!!!!!! bye lots of love
Posted on May 15, 2004, 10:07 PM from IP address 64.12.116.83
It's hard I know -- but i quit and so can you. Look at your user buddies-- I don't know about you but for me when I decided to quit it was becuase iI took a look around and realized this was not where I wanted to be 5 yrs from then. I was in the middle of a dope cook in a dope house watching my then friends shoot up water becuase they were so messed up. METH WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL AWAY FROM YOU if you do not quit now. Even when it seems like no one else loves you love yourself. Sometimes you is all you got. It's 5 years later and I have a good job, a good relationship with my mom, and I don't have an addiction to meth any more. Life is worth living contrary to what you think now. You just have to face it one day at a time. Talk to your mom or write her a letter-- she may not like what you say she may not understand but if you open up and get things off of your chest it will bring closure for you. Always remember that you are worth it. Life is worth it.
Posted on Jan 12, 2005, 1:38 PM from IP address 65.198.133.254
my email is sweetkitty282@yahoo.com but try looking up www.mamasite.net it is a site strictly for meth users and they have meetings like na does it helps.
jennifer
Posted on Sep 5, 2005, 1:44 PM from IP address 66.82.9.79
I AM A 22 YEAR OLD RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT,SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY REASON I AM RECOVERING IS CAUSE I WAS FORCED INTO TREATMENT CENTERS AND SENTANCED TO JAIL-I STARTED USING DRUGS WHEN I WAS 13, MY PARENTS BOTH DRANK ALOT AND MY FATHER ABUSED US-MY MOM FINALLY DIVORCED MY FATHER WHEN I WAS 14 AFTER I WAS EXPELLED FROM HIGH SCHOOL DUE TO MY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR-MY PARENTS DIVORCED AND WE HAD TO MOVE INTO A LOW INCOME TOWNHOUSE-MY MOM WAS WORKING PART TIME AND I ENDED UP GETTING INTO HARDER DRUGS-I WAS IN THE YOUTH HOME MANY TIMES AND WAS ALSO ON A TETHER-FINALLY MY MOM MET THIS GUY AND HE TOOK MY MOM , MY SISTER WHO IS 2 1/2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME AND I IN-(MY MOM WAS AN ALCHOLIC, AND MY SISTER DID WHATEVER I DID) SO WE MOVE INTO THIS HUGE HOUSE AND MY NEW STEPDAD TRIES TO GIVE US THE BEST LIFE EVER-MY SISTER AND I STARTED GOING TO RAVE PARTIES WHEN I WAS 16- WE WERE USING "X" SPECIAL K, NITROUS, WHATEVER WE COULD GET- I MET A GUY THERE AND FELL IN LOVE, HE SOLD DRUGS, I MOVED IN WITH HIM WHEN I WAS 18 AND I HAD FINALLY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AND I LANDED A GREAT JOB IN INTERIOR DESIGN-SO WE HAD AN APARTMENT TOGETHER AND WE WERE GONNA GET MARRIED, THIS WHOLE TIME HE WAS SELLIN ALL KINDS OF CLUB DRUGS AND WE WERE PICKING UP AT LEAST 8 OUNCES OF CRYSTAL METH FROM TORONTO AND ATLANTA-IM 5 7 AND WAS WEIGHING 120 POUNDS-MY SISTER AND COUSIN WERE HOOKED ON METH ALSO-FINALLY I WAS SO DARN PARANOID DUE TO THE DRUGS IN THE APARTMENT, SO I MOVED BACK HOME, QUIT MY JOB CAUSE I HAD LOTS OF MONEY SAVED, AND TONS OF CREDIT CARDS, STARTED GOING OUT TO CLUBS AND JUST GETTING WASTED ALL OF THE TIME-THEN MY MOM KNEW I WAS GETTING BAD AND MY SISTER FOUND ME UPSTAIRS MESSED UP FROM SHOOTING SPECIAL K AND CALLED MY MOM AT WORK AND MY MOM CALLED THE COPS-I HAD 5 VILES OF SPECIAL K, 2 GRAMS OF METH AND 25 PILLS OF "X" THE COPS CAME MY SISTER RAN UPSTAIRS AND FLUSHED THE "X" AND METH BUT COULD NOT GET RID OF THE SPECIAL K-SO I GO TO JAIL FOR ONE NIGHT, MY STEPDAD KNOWS THE POLICE AND JUDGES IN MY AREA AND GETS ME OUT ON PERSONAL BOND-ONE MONTH LATER I STAYED AT MY EX'X FOR A WEEK AND WHEN I LEFT I SHOT UP 2 CC'S OF SPECIAL K AND TOTALED MY BRAN NEW CAR-DID NOT GO TO JAIL C AUSE THE DETECTIVES KNEW THAT I USED TO DATE "JOHN DOE" SO THEY SAID IF U SET HIM UP WE WILL LET YOU GO-SO I SAID SURE-WELL I KNEW THAT I WOULD NEVER DO IT, BUT **** THEY WERE GONNA LET ME GO SO I LEAVE AND CALL MY LAWYER THE NEXT DAY AND TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED-I STILL WAS NOT SENTANCED FROM THE FIRST CHARGE, SO I NEEDED TO CHECK MYSELF INTO REHAB AND I DID-I END GOING TO ONE OF THE BEST CENTERS IN MICHIGAN AND I MET A GUY WHO SHOOTS HEROIN AND WE GET OUT AND START SHOOTING HEROIN TOGETHER-LITTLE DID I KNOW MY SISTER WAS ALSO SHOOTING DOPE- I BEGAN ALSO SHOOTING "X" METH COCAINE AND OF COURSE MY NEW LOVE HEROIN-THE REST SHOULD BE SELF EXPLANATORY-I WAS ON AND OFF DOPE FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS-IN AND OUTOF JAIL AND COURT ORDERED BEHAVIORAL MODIFICATION CENTERS CAUSE I COULD NOT REPORT TO PROBATION CAUSE I WAS ADDICTED- I PUT MY FAMILY THROUGH PURE HELL-I ENDED UP IN THE HOPITAL FOR CELLULITIS OF THE ARM FROM SHOOTING BLACK TAR HEROIN, MY SIITER WAS ALSO IN THERE FOR THA SAME THING, BUT THAT DID NOT STOP ME-I STAYED CLEAN FOR ONE MONTH AFTER, MY MOTHER TOOK ME UP TO MACKINAC ISLAND AND WE SPENT A WEEK THERE BONDING AND JUST GETTING AWAY-SO MONTHS LATER AFTER MANY MORE CENTERS AND BEING KICKED OUT OF MY HOUSE, BEING PISTOL WHIPPED IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD AND ROBBED IN DETROIT, AND ALSO BEING BEATEN UP AND RAPED, WHILE MY EX BOYFRIEND WAS GETTING BEAT UP AND FORCED TO WATCH ME GETTING RAPED- I FINALLY COME HOME THIS PAST DECEMBER AFTER
BEING N A TREATMENT CENTER FOR 4 MONTHS, I COME HOME AND HAVE TO DO TETHER FOR 35 DAYS-AND GUESS WHAT I FINALLY THINK IGOT IT- I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 7 MONTHS AND I GO TO THERAPY-MY EX IS NOW IN PRISON AND I DONT SPEAK TO HIM-I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO- MY SISTER WAS ON METHADONE FOR 14 MONTHS ANS IS NOW OFF OF IT-I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF HARD WORK TO STILL DO, BUT IM STAYING STRONG-MY MOM IS ALSO IN RECOVERY AND WE ARE PATCHING UP OUR RELATIONSHIP-DUE TO MY INCARCERATION I HAEV GAINED SOME WEIGHT AND THAT IS MY ONLY STRUGGLE AT THIS TIME- BUT I AM STILL BEAUTIFUL INSIDE ADN OUT AND I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, NOW THAT I AM CLEAN I AM ABLE TO LET MY BEAUTY SHINE THROUGH- I WRITE POETRY AND SHOLD BE ABLE TO PUBLISH MY BOOK THIS FALL- I LOVE MUSIC AND JUST BEING WITH MY LOVED ONES-IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO CHAT WITH ME AFTER HEARING MY LIFE STIRY YOU CAN REACH ME AT GREENEYES82781@YAHOO.COM OR MY AIM SCREEN NAME IS GREENEYED82781
Posted on Mar 6, 2004, 12:21 PM from IP address 68.61.99.83
Hello. I'm glad to hear that you're getting better. It seems you've had a hard life. I can also say I know what it's like to be addicted to something... I'm only 16 but I've been on coke and crack for 2 years now and it's tough because I don't have a job and I end up stealing from family. I also smoke pot on a daily basis and I do "X" whenever I can get it. I've only done heroin about 4 times in the past year and don't care to really do it again. My mom just took me out of school about 2-3 months ago because I had behavior issues and $1000 worth of truancy tickets. I now do homeschooling and it's much easier for me. I just recently got involved with a 23 year old man who is a known sex offender. My mom freaked and wrote him up to his parole officer. He's now in jail and I'm refusing to say anything against him. I love him even though he's lied to me and I only met him about a month ago. He also has a great XTC and coke connection! But he is extremely nice to me and seems to understand me. No one gives me any good advice about what to do about him. Everyone thinks I should leave him but I really don't want to. He treats me very good. My dad is in AA and NA (coke addiction). My mom and dad got divorced when I was 1. I never really got to meet him until I was 11, that's when he started coming around. But he's getting better. I hope you continue on the path you're on now... I think you will feel better about yourself in the end. Best of luck!
Posted on May 2, 2004, 2:40 PM from IP address 69.21.101.106
I know that this is the last thing that u wanna hear from someone, but u really do need to drop this guy. he is 23 AND a known sex offender. that does not scare u? it seems llike u wanted someone to tell u to leave him alone because u would not have written anything about him. u are 16 and u should not be doing this. if he has connections--is that y you stay with him? this is crazy, your mom needs to ground your ass.
Posted on May 25, 2004, 2:32 PM from IP address 207.189.15.2
are you stupid? drugs wreck your brain? the guys a sex affender he's a Goof a rapist a sick f..K ,if that don't bother you your F..Ked up!!! plus you met him a month ago and love him ..come on now GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on Mar 26, 2006, 7:18 AM from IP address 24.64.223.203
hey I'm going through the same thing right now. I have been on herion for 3 years now. and I just recently quit doing it cause my sister is about to get out of rehab and I need to be off for when she gets out in 2 weeks. She has been their for 6 months now.
Posted on Jul 25, 2005, 11:55 AM from IP address 216.12.192.71
Poisioned
Lost in your own self control
Cravings set in,addiction takes it's toll
She's got you now you're in her arm's
She's won you over with Crystal's charm
She takes you to a divine place,
Where essence and sorrow leave no trace
Hit by hit changing who you are
Inhaling the smoke from her sweet shard
Captured by the rush of her high
Without her fix,you'd rather die
Lost in her world,things are Crystal clear
Life has no obstical's,there's nothing to fear
But to far in you relize her game,
She's only here to cause you pain
Sick of her way's,you hate your life
You just can't grip it, can't bair another night
Seducing your soul, she won't let go
Calling out your name, you want to but you can't say no
Deeper as you drown in your tears
With noone left, you turn to her to hold you near
Try as you may thing's will never be the same
She's in you now, she's poisioned your vein's
-Dedicated To All The Struggling Addict's-
-Janine
Posted on Mar 2, 2004, 6:50 AM from IP address 161.184.206.245
I've never been big on meth, but your poem was AMAZING!!! I am trying to get off the blow. I've been clean for 42 days now. I love writing poetry. I have been since I was a little boy. But I can't seem to find the words to describe this ****. So I'm on here looking for ideas and inspirations. Thank-you. You've helped. This poem is so depective of the habit itself. You're talented.
Posted on May 17, 2005, 12:00 PM from IP address 24.30.30.192
walking in a spiderweb of deceit,feelings of emptiness left me in defeat. i take a hit and it goes away, in this moment i'd love to stay. i end up in a place filled with disgrace. i love it here though, theres no one to tell me to go. why doesn't it let me feel, in this life only my dreams are real. in the darkest of places i somehow want to be, so my guilty consienous can't find me. alone is the only wat to get through. take another hit, and hope its not true
Posted on Feb 21, 2004, 12:27 PM from IP address 24.117.208.167
Who really knows the evil that so deeply lurks inside of each of us. Is it caused by the pain that holds a piercing cold stare, so devious. The darkside of our souls is where the evil all grows, then the sunshine in our hearts is slowly taken apart. Now prisoners we are, trapped inside our own minds, day and night tried to fight, but we're still looking blind. We question the future, look back on the past, just searching for ways to make time simply pass. We wonder about living and we don't want to die, but will Heaven even take us if we're still lost and so high. And what if I die in a state of confusion, I'd never know what was real or just an illusion. I pray to God for some answers, just give me a clue that would show me the way and what I should do. If I have to continue in this world I hate, just once I'd like to have a peaceful mind state. So my eyes looking forward and my head held up high, I take a walk towards happiness, hope I end up in the sky. If I end up down below and the Devil wants to know how I got there and why, I'll tell him I was weak, the pressure too much, so I chose to die. Inside of every soul there's the power to take control and if you want something strong enough eventually it unfolds. Be true to yourself and nobody fails, stay true to your heart and you can be nothing else..... END ...........I also wrote this poem in response to a stefan about METH POEMS.
Posted on Feb 20, 2004, 11:08 AM from IP address 24.117.208.167
Hi my name is stefan and I am looking to see if anyone has a poem about crystal meth. You see that was my drug of choice and there are some really good poems on here but I cant find one that relates to me. If anyone can help me out I would really appreciate it. Just email me if you have one. Today is day 237 and it feels great. No pain, or lies. No more stealing or cheating. But I would really love it if someone would beable to help me thanks.
Posted on Feb 18, 2004, 10:35 AM from IP address 63.231.111.120
Heres a poem I wrote the week before I went into a treatment center: Who really knows the evil that so deeply lurks inside of each of us? Is it caused by the pain thaht holds a piercing cold stare, so devious. The darkside of our souls is where the evil all grows then the sunshine in our hearts is slowly taken apart. Now prisoners we are, trapped inside our own minds, day and night tried to fight ,but we're still looking blind. We question the future, look back on the past,just searching for ways to make time simply pass. We wonder about living and we don't want to die but will heven even take us if we're still lost and so high? And what if I died in a state of confusion, I'd never know what was real or just an illusion. I pray to God for some answers, just give me a clue that would show me the way and what I should do. If I have to continue in this world I hate,just once I'd like to have a peaceful mind state. So my eyes looking forward and my head held up high, I take a walk towards happiness, hope I end up in the sky. If I end up down below and the devil wants to know how I got there and why, I'll tell him I was weak,the pressure too much. so I chose to die. Inside of every soul theres the power to take control and if you want something strong enough eventually it unfolds. Be true to yourself and nobody fails, stay true to your heart and you can be nothing else.
Posted on Feb 19, 2004, 11:21 AM from IP address 24.117.208.167
Kerrah, My step daughter has a meth prob did you kick meth on your own.She was clean for years tell She met these people from Rantoul Kansas. And started using again.
Posted on Mar 14, 2004, 6:09 PM from IP address 208.191.39.224
I was court ordered to admit myself into a rehab center right after i got outta jail,i still did meth a few times after that, i couldn't kick it. but it will be 4 years in June since I've done it. I met someone who doesnt do it(for once in my life) and had two beautiful children with him, the day I found out i was pregnant was the day I vowed to never do it again, I didnt want my kids to grow up like me. Is your stepdaughter young? Maybe she will grow out of it if she is, but other than tha all I can say is Meth is a very powerful drug, its hard as hell to kick. my advice would be to get her into a treatment facility. The only thing is , a person has to actually want to be helped, before it can work.
Posted on Apr 1, 2004, 12:18 PM from IP address 24.117.203.0
I really don't know how to help. I had a drug addiction and I had to move away from the people to get away from drugs. but if your not ready to stop you can't it always follows you. I got married and my husbans in the military so we're stationed in Japan. hopefully she'll come to her right state of mind and change. most of all be there for her. or you'll turn her away, that would be worst than anything. I know it so hard I miss it and love getting high, but there's a time you'll grow up and get smart. I have 2 kids now and thats means more to me than drugs!
ky
Posted on Apr 14, 2004, 1:38 AM from IP address 165.76.82.36
I am very sorry about your daughter, I was addicted to meth for five years and nothing anybody could say or do did any good until I was ready, I lost evrything, my family, freinds, everything I owned,even my children. I just didn't care. that stuff has a grip like you can't imagine, I just thank God every day that my parents and my true freinds never truely gave up on me, it's was their strenghth and faith that finally lifted me back up, I was really in a state of hell, I just wanted to die, and almost did more times than I like to think about, I have been clean now for one year and 2 months, but it took me moving away from everybody to do it because no matter how bad you want to quit, misery loves company and they don't want to let you go, PLEASE don't give up on your daughter, help her help her self it won't be easy but it can be done. May God be with you both.
Posted on May 2, 2006, 10:52 AM from IP address 12.220.50.27
I am not sure how you will find it, but there is a sad but true poem called "The Need for Speed" that I'm sure you will find hits close to home for any and all who have experienced life as a TWEEKER....
BREAK THE CYCLE!!!!!
Posted on Feb 25, 2004, 8:15 AM from IP address 216.166.197.177
I am not sure how you will find it, but there is a sad but true poem called "The Need for Speed" that I'm sure you will find hits close to home for any and all who have experienced life as a TWEEKER....
BREAK THE CYCLE!!!!!
Posted on Feb 25, 2004, 8:16 AM from IP address 216.166.197.177
We're sick of being tired ~~ we all want to get wired
We just want to tweak, and stay up for a week!
The lights are always on, we are constantly awake.
We go to people's houses to see what we can take.
We scrub our carpets with a brush, our floors with a rag.
We clean our house for hours, then chase down the bag.
We're paranoid and schitze, but not afraid of Death.
Scandalous and Dishonest, but loyal to our Meth.
At times we are confused, we can't seem to understand
What's happened to our lives, why we're outcasts of the land.
At times we act so crazy, people think we are insane
Irrational thoughts are always running through our brain.
What a high it is, for those of us who deal,
Slinging all the cutter, so we can do the real.
We come up fast ~ we make money by the scores
Everyone's our friend ~ we're surrounded by bag whores.
We all end up in prison; wondering how this hole was dug.
We blame it on society, cause we're loyal to our drug.
While in prison, we build our bodies and improve our stature
We get out on parole, and again go manufacture.
Posted on Apr 9, 2004, 12:42 AM from IP address 24.20.123.196
this poem is so true about the reall geeker the way they clean the way they are shady towards everyone but the dope the way we go to prison and the way we get out just to run anther batch been there and done that God save us all
Posted on Sep 3, 2005, 11:02 AM from IP address 24.158.166.156
We're sick of being tired,we all want to get wired.
We just want to tweak, and stay up for a week.
The lights are always on, we are constantly awake.
We go to peoples houses, too see what we can take.
we scrub our carpets with a brush, our floors with a rag.
We clean our houses for hours, then chase down the bag.
We're paranoid and schitzo, but not affraid of death.
Scandalous and dishonest, but loyal to our meth.
At times we are confused, we can't seem to understand,
what's happened to our lives, why we're the outcast of the land. At times we act so crazy. People think we are insane,
irrational thoughts are frequently running through our brain. What a high it is for those of us who deal. Slinging all the gutter, so we can make the deal. We come up fast, we make money by the score. Everyones our friend, we're surrounded by bag whores. We all end up in prison, wondering how this whole was dug. We blame it on society, cause we're loyal to our drug. While in prison we build our bodies and improve our minds. We get out on parole, and again we go get high. We don't care about our health, we're not worried about going back. Cause we're loyal to the sack. So here I sit in prison unable to get high.
I take it like a man, It's no time for me to cry.
Soon i'll be back out, and tempted by the meth. I'll have to be much stronger, or be loyal till my deth.
Posted on May 5, 2004, 10:05 AM from IP address 67.161.250.189
I would love to know how this made it to the web. My old man who died from a heroin overdose May 11th, 1996 wrote this poem while serving time in the Utah State Prison a few years prior to his death.
Posted on Jun 11, 2006, 4:41 AM from IP address 207.200.116.71
HI how are you, that is asome that you have been clean for about a year. Its a hard thing to overcome and not alot of people can do it, I still struggle with it. Well this poem I found (I have a whole bunch of them if you want me to send you some others to) is what meth is really about and I think its very deep amd strong email me back with your oppinon.
METH
I destroy homes, and tear families apart.
I will take your childeren, and that’s just the start.
My power is awesome, just try me, you’ll see.
Because, once you do, you may never break free.
I’ll ravage your body, I’ll destroy your mind.
My, thoughts are now your thoughts, your soul is now mine.
For my narcotic charm, you’ll steal and lie.
You’ll do what you have to, just to get high.
You’ll lie to your mother, you’ll steal from your dad.
When you see thier tears, you should not feel sad.
Just forget your morals, and how you were raised.
I’ll teach you new things; you’ll be amazed.
I’m more valued than diamonds, more treasured than gold.
The sorrow I cause, is a sight to behold.
I take kids from thier parents. I take parents from kids.
I turn people from God. I separate friends.
I have many names, but there’s one you’ll know best.
I’m sure you’ve heard of me. My name’s Crystal Meth.
My victims all though, they were stronger than me.
They’ve since witnessed my power. Now they belive.
If you try me, be warned, this is not a game.
If given a chance, I will drive you insane.
You’ll give up everything; your family, your home,
Your money, your friends; you’ll be all alone.Oh, the nightmares I’ll give you, when you’re lying in bed,
And the voices you’ll hear, deep inside of your head.
The sweats, the shakes, and the visions you’ll see,
I want you to know, these are your gifts. From me.
By then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart,
That you are now mine, and we shall not part.
At times, you’ll want to lay down and die,
But I won’t allow that, so don’t even try.
I’ll take everything from you; your good looks, your pride.
But, I’ll be with you always; right there by your side.
I’ll take, and I’ll take, till you’ve no more to give.
When I’m finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live.
My power is awesome, as I told you before.
I can take your mother, and turn her into a whore.
I’ll be your master, and you’ll be my slave.
But, I’ll be there with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you know me, what will you do?
Will you try me, or not? It’s all up to you.
Listen to me, and please, listen well;
Once you are mine, I’ll take you to Hell.
Posted on May 3, 2004, 11:04 PM from IP address 206.163.131.25
That's one of the best that I've seen so far. I can relate because I am also a meth addict. I have almost 6 months clean now and quitting was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life. Sometimes it still is, but I am a fighter, and I have learned there's a lot more to life than "the game" THANKS FOR SHARING!!
Posted on Sep 8, 2004, 2:55 PM from IP address 68.116.53.11
I use to bang cocaine but now im just a normal person living a normal life and i love it, my little sister,and neice however is caught up in meth,morphine and they weigh every bit of 90 pounds, Im so scared they'll die from it, and that would suck to have to meet your maker in that state. All you that reads this and believes in our Lord Jesus Christ, please pray for them, their name is farrah and fallon
Posted on Jan 19, 2006, 3:42 PM from IP address 70.157.39.243
Hi, I'm Paige. I have too many poems on meth that it would take too long to type them all out. You might want to check out www.methmadness.com There are a lot of poems on that site and links to other sites. I am an addict. I have not started treatment yet but am on a waiting list. I'm taking baby steps because I know this is going to be hard. How did you quit? Did you go into treatment? Just curious.
Good luck finding the poem that makes you tick.
Paige
Posted on May 6, 2004, 4:59 PM from IP address 65.92.50.213
I wrote this poem when I was seventeen during my first attempt to stay sober. Maybe it will rlate to you. tell me what you think.
The rush is gone
I'm all alone
I don't even have a home
Time is pacing
My mind is racing
Was my life worth wasting?
Seventeen years have gone by
I start to cry
Wondering why
I like to get high
Oh I know why
The wheeling, dealing, money and fame
I was told not to hate the game
Meth is addictive
Oh what a drug
It was my only love
Convulsions passing out
Not knowing where I'm at
I hurt my family and ran away
To do something that took my life away.
Now all this time has gone by
and I'm suprised I'm alive
but now it's time to step ahead
No longer living in dread
I have a long life ahead
But at least I'm not dead.
Posted on Aug 16, 2005, 11:17 PM from IP address 68.2.79.42
well i just want to say i really like your poem because i'm a recoverying addict and i've have been sober for 6 mon. now and it's really hard and im just glad that listing to that poem i know i can get through this so thanks maybe we can talk more but i dont have an e-mail address.
Posted on Dec 19, 2005, 1:58 PM from IP address 206.80.199.222
I have started to enter my poems on Creative-poems.com. check out RIDE OF GUILT. It's under the topic GENERAL. I have several others items on this web site too. Let me know.
RoLinda Vigil *illusion
Posted on Nov 2, 2005, 6:49 AM from IP address 4.254.66.29
het stefan!what was ur problem w/h meth?ill try 2 find u a poem or write one myself.give me some info about u.i am 15next month and my name is majestica.ill find a poem 2 relate 2 u.good luck
Posted on Dec 20, 2005, 2:26 PM from IP address 170.215.146.197
Heres a really touching Meth Poem..Something you asked for.
by
This poem was written by a woman who got sent to prison for Crystal Meth. She wrote it while she was in there. 3 days after she got out they found her dead with a needle still stuck in her arm... Hope you like the poem ..email me back if you want to attitudepeace@yahoo.com -Ash-
My Name: “Is Meth”
I destroy homes, I tear families apart,
take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than
gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town
I live with the rich, I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly
should.
I have many names, but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal
meth.
My power is awesome, try me you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to -- just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your
arms.
You'll lie to your mother, you'll steal from your
dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were
raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your
pride,
I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to
give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to
live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your
heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were
told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you
say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.
Posted on Jan 6, 2006, 7:07 PM from IP address 69.66.70.54
I'm also an addict....here's a couple that's I've written.
Addicted
Smoked my last toke, took my last breath
Look back now....a path of regret.
I need this nightmare to come to and end
But have no clue where to even begin.
The chilling embrace of the devil
All part of his masquerade,
Forgive me for not being true
For showing this fake facade.
Came so close to giving up
Saying goodbye to those I love,
Shaking hands with the devil
Congratulating the Drug.
Have Faith In My Love
Forgive me for my faults
Love me inspite of my shame,
Trust that I will prove myself
Know that I know I'm to blame.
Expect only the best from me
Help me to find my way,
Take my hand when you're beside me
Hold me when I pray.
Pray for help as I defeat my addiction
Chosing the path without the drugs,
Believe in me; for I will follow through
Have faith in my love.
Posted on Apr 2, 2006, 3:48 AM from IP address 209.128.158.184
Hello, I am Jen and I am a addict. I am a 26 yr old woman who is starting all over again. I lost everything to drugs. I thought that all I needed was one more. My life consisted of chasing one more. I thought that I was in control until I tried to stop. I did things I can never take back. I blamed everyone else for my addiction. It was my Dad's fault because he was never their. It was my mom's fault for allowing me to be abused. All the time I spent blaming others I never looked at the reality. I was a addict and it didn't matter how I became so sick I had to stop. I couldn't no matter what I did. Eventually, divine judicial intervention stopped me. Basically, I had to stop when I got locked up. I ended up losing everything to one more. I lost my freedom, my home, my car, my health, my child, and most importantly my soul. Thank God for the law thought because if they didn't stop me it would have been worse. Today I am clean and just celebrated another yr clean. I have been freed from active addiction and have a peace that amazes me. Noone can believe the change in me, especially me. Sadly, not everyone gets this. My husband didn't. He has spent the better part of this yr on life support because of his addiction. He will never be the same and his time with us is limited. I have to explain to my daughter one day why Daddy had to go. This was my bottom, it doesn't have to be yours. If you need help and you are reading this, get the help you need. Reach out. From one addict to another, You deserve better than you are giving yourself, and if noone told you today, I Love You!!!!
Posted on Jan 27, 2004, 7:32 PM from IP address 162.84.184.15
I just wanted to say thanks for posting that letter. It really touched me and I'm trying to get off drugs as we speak. I've already lost my wife, child, home and family. Thanks
Posted on Feb 27, 2004, 12:14 AM from IP address 172.193.176.124
My mother is an addict to crack.I always blamed her for my addiction and she blames us(my broyher and sister)for her addictio.I am in a foster home now and she doesnt care my brother is in county because of her.right now the only person I have in my life is my older sister and she is sufferring alot because of my mother.I am so scared that when i get released I'm gonna do drugs again I was an addicted for 4 yrs I started smoking maryjane when I was 12 Iam 16 now and I don't know if I will be able to stop doing drugs. I overdosed 2 times once I almost died I took 2 lists of roaches and stayed on trip for a week!
Posted on May 17, 2004, 10:42 AM from IP address 209.30.109.245
my mom blames me and my siblings as well, in a big way i blame her for my addiction, and the loss of my 2 beautiful children as well. i started using at 11 yrs old with her, and im now 21 still fighting the battle of getting clean. im here to tell you as one person to another who survived being a child of an addict you make the choice of living or dying by picking up that weed, crystal etc. my mother still doesn't care whether i'm high or not or the things ive given up to get high. She only cares what happens to her. my little brother is with her again after she got out of prison, he is now facing his own addiction. the cycle has once again taken over. i know its hard in the system but remember you and your brothers or sisters deserve better. take care, and stay strong, if u need someone to talk with email me.
Posted on Jun 12, 2004, 11:12 PM from IP address 65.101.178.135
my name is misty im 28 . i lost my three kids to the state. my D.o.C. was meth .im now hep.c positive from i.v, drug use. i also lost my husband my home my health my family my self respect not to mention the respect of others.ive been clean for 60 days and could use some friends.
Posted on Feb 16, 2005, 3:38 PM from IP address 209.192.49.65
hi there i read your short to the piont letter. that was me at one time i lost it all and by the grace of god i have gained so much more than i ever lost..what i lost was never mine and what i gained i never lost,,,if that makes any sense to you. i just celebrated 9 years a couple of months ago and i couldnt ask for a better life, and you can do it too !!just keep your chin up, even during the moment of silence...as i see it we walked around with our heads hung low for too long..so be proud you are doing it one day at a time.!!!! please write back my name is lisa and i am an addict too !!!
Posted on Dec 8, 2005, 1:44 PM from IP address 63.207.5.228
Misty I was touched when I read your message. I'm a recovering addict for almost 19 years and I still remember the pain. i had lost my childrent to the system but got them back, it took several more years to using before I got it. Good Luck you have a friend.
Posted on Feb 23, 2006, 3:17 PM from IP address 69.239.179.229
I remember thinking how cool I looked with a spike in my vein,
I remember thinking that this substance was the answer to my pain.
I fell in love with the sensation I felt,
thought I got one up on the hand I was dealt.
Couldn't imagine how the weak let this take control,
couldn't see how this powdery lover could take its toll.
This bag promised to be my new best friend, it was my only piece of mind.
It was the answer to my fuc*ed up life, It helped me unwind.
When I was high I didn't remeber selling my soul for one more,
I didn't remember that a couple of bags made me your whore,
I didn't remember struggling to breathe or stay out of danger,
Selling my stuff, my childs stuff or a complete stranger,
I woke up in a cell asking why my lover lied to me.
Promised me freedom from pain now I have 1&1/2 to 3
I contracted a virus from just needing one more
went to cop and abandoned my child at the store
I no longer who I am or who I was
and the worst part...
my disease telles me it will be alright if I can just get one more...
Posted on Jan 21, 2004, 8:07 PM from IP address 162.84.184.15
different worlds , by a daughter of two herion and crack addicts
by
To all of those who have felt this pain
Come over here if you want to try it little girl,
Only the first hit will make you hurl.
You’re attracted to my grace and my heavenly smell
You like me so much it’s my name that you yell.
You told your friends about my touch
And how you sacrifice for me ‘Oh so much’
You told them to give me a try ‘Ya know, be a man’
After all this was my whole plan
To take you in let you look past the truth at hand,
Watch you quiver and shake ‘Hey supplies in demand’
Now look at your life, ‘isn’t it great’
Oops I’ve gotta run, I might be late
To meet another girl, a stupid young youth
Who doesn’t know about me, not the truth
But don’t worry my friend I’ll be back in a week,
You’ll always be waiting; it’s me that you seek.
This is the drug dealers’ world and how it is run,
Sounds pretty awful . . . but if you ask me it’s fun!
Posted on Jan 13, 2004, 11:52 AM from IP address 134.39.82.52
"I have taken drugs in the past, and to tell you the truth i had a real good time. I didn't kill anybody, didn't rape anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't lose one goddamn job. I just laughed my ass off and went about my day."
The late great Bill Hicks(circa 1991)
Ok maybe that is a blase way of viewing drugs, but the way recreational drugs are policed and viewed is equally ridiculous. We require an intelligent, well informed debate on drugs and drug culture. Not knee-jerk reaction, but an open forum where we can discuss the issues and perhaps formulate a solution.
Drugs-the second oldest business in the world.
Posted on Jan 13, 2004, 6:45 AM from IP address 194.75.245.98
The only drug you can trust is maryjane.Don't do it too much though cause it can be as worst as the rest of the drugs.I hope you never go through what I went through because that's what I used to say"drugs can't hurt me,they never" I was wrong the only one who stayed faithfull was maryjane!
Posted on May 17, 2004, 10:52 AM from IP address 209.30.109.245
The only drug you can trust is maryjane.Don't do it too much though cause it can be just as bad as the rest of the drugs.I hope you never go through what I went through because that's what I used to say"drugs can't hurt me,they never have" I was wrong the only one who stayed faithfull to me was maryjane!
Posted on May 17, 2004, 10:53 AM from IP address 209.30.109.245
Sell one the least harmful drugs known to man you get a prison sentence, sell one that kills hundreds of thousands a year(i.e. tobacco) and you get a knighthood.
Seems to me that something is wrong with the system somewhere!!!!
Posted on May 25, 2004, 2:07 AM from IP address 194.75.245.98
Speeding through the country side, speeding along, down for the ride, confused notions snappin through ya mind, its time ya stopped to chill and unwind, chance occurences, people ya meet, trying to stay above the clouds, but trying to remain on ya feet. Spirals of events begin, your unable to control, remember if you wanna see, you'll have to dig the hole, carry on flying high, then come down for a while, shout or cry, when the tears have gone and the next trip begins, just remember its always time that wins....
moments pass and then are gone you wish time would play to your slow song, but time waits for nothing, it flys faster than we know, then one day we will stop to think...where did those good times go.
clock and pendulum out of sink, maybe I am really on the brink, too much living on that tidal wave, but its closing around me like an empty cave, so i'll get off the wave, and come to shore, feel the ground....and live some more
Posted on Dec 6, 2003, 7:26 AM from IP address 195.93.33.14
I don't know what to say, don't know what to do
I no longer know a fable, from something that is true
I feel like I am falling into an abyss of my own making
I sat back and watched in silence, whilst they did all the taking
The sun is burning my shoulders, yet the chill is numbing my feet, I long for my own utopia, a place where I can retreat
If all of their lies were my energy, then for miles I could run, and if all their deciet turned into cloud, we would never see the sun
If my hurt was a falling leaf, then autumn would never fade away, and if night held on to the tears i've cried, then night would never become day.
They professed to be my best friends, but they nearly took away my soul
their lies left me penniless and shattered, my heart became a hole
but i managed to see the truth in the end, they were demons in disguise, and now those drugs that once ruled my life, can no longer tell me lies....
you see, in them i saw angels that would help me live my life
but the angels they were fallen, In my back, they put a knife.....
you see the knife was dripped in poison, and it went rushing through my blood.....
I was at the end of the line, in a swamp of denial, when two hands pulled me out of the mud
they cleansed me with the purest waters, in a stream of kindness and trust
and as the poison got washed away, my addiction turned to dust
Posted on Dec 6, 2003, 7:20 AM from IP address 195.93.33.14
I don't know what to say, don't know what to do
I no longer know a fable, from something that is true
I feel like I am falling into an abyss of my own making
I sat back and watched in silence, whilst they did all the taking
The sun is burning my shoulders, yet the chill is numbing my feet, I long for my own utopia, a place where I can retreat
If all of their lies were my energy, then for miles I could run, and if all their deciet turned into cloud, we would never see the sun
If my hurt was a falling leaf, then autumn would never fade away, and if night held on to the tears i've cried, then night would never become day.
They professed to be my best friends, but they nearly took away my soul
their lies left my penniless and shattered, my heart became a hole
but i managed to see the truth in the end, they were demons in disguise, and now those drugs that once ruled my life, can no longer tell me lies....
you see, in them i saw angels that would help me live my life
but the angels they were fallen, In my back, they put a knife
and the knife was dripped in poison, and it went rushing through my blood,
I was at the end of the line, in a swamp of denial, when two hands pulled me out of the mud
they cleansed me with the purest waters, in a stream of kindness and trust
and as the poison got washed away, my addiction turned to dust
Posted on Dec 6, 2003, 7:17 AM from IP address 195.93.33.14
Things-
you, haunt my thoughts at almost every moment
it scars me how obsessive i can be
things
always an illusion of better state
reality knocks the **** out of you
and you like the **** knocked out of you
you like that burn of hatred
that mistrust fake love
screwing everyone else
the hand that feeds you
i watch ants on my bathroom floor
crawling up the wall
i think of all things i should be doing
but instead i'm thinking of you
getting high on the beach
with your new best friend
someone you can relax around
and get ****ed up with
someone who understands you
someone who found someone else they can get ****ed with
now they don't have to do it alone
and now your slipping from one drug to the next
a pattern till death
stuck watching in the middle
maybe tinged with jealousy
i can't let you go
Posted on Nov 30, 2003, 8:47 PM from IP address 67.30.168.153
i feel ur my cuz did the same thing thinks it's a joke i think about her 24/7 more than before the sad part is that she's only 10 soon to be 11 if she stoppes
Posted on Apr 17, 2004, 1:53 PM from IP address 67.125.57.156
i never thought i could watch someone come apart from the insides to outsides
but everyday i see strings fall loose
and everday i see hope lost
with all this complicated i can't even get past the thought of thinking
and wondering whether help or understanding rings truer
and i don't know how to do anything anymore for you
but i know that you should stop this world spinning right this minute
and take a look from higher up
and then you could realize just how broken your aim really is
so why don't you ask yourself to show up sometimes?
why don't you stand up tall and kick yourself in the mouth?
to remember and to get that burn back
and scorch your stomach and bleed that passion lost
and don't forget to think this time
Posted on Nov 30, 2003, 8:35 PM from IP address 67.30.168.153
DONT WANNA HOLD ON TO IT
BUT I CANT LET GO
DRAWN TO IT LIKE THE OCEAN TO THE MOON
A STRONG GRAVITATIONAL PULL
PULLING ME DEEPER AND DEEPER
INTO PURE NOTHINGNESS
DROWNING IN MY COLD OBSESSION
GOLD DUST DECEPTIONS
ILLUSIONS OF LOVE
MANIPULATIVE SEDUCTION
THAT LEAVES ME ALL ALONE
IN PAIN
COVERED IN BLOOD
LYING ON THE GROUND
WITH NOTHING
BUT THE HOPE FOR SOME MORE
TO NUMB AND THEN INTENSIFY
THE PAIN IT'S ALREADY CAUSED
IT'S LOSING EVERYTHING
YOUR MIND
YOUR SELF
YOUR LIFE
AND ALL BECAUSE OF A F***ING LINE
I WANNA LET GO
BUT I DONT KNOW HOW
THE PAINS INTENSE
WITHOUT THIS **** IM NOT WHOLE
BUT I GOTTA LET GO
GOTTA BE STRONG
NO MORE LIES
GOTTA LIVE ON
GOTTA GET MY SANITY
AND LIVE FOR MY FRIENDS
THAT ARE ALREADY GONE
Posted on Nov 30, 2003, 7:35 PM from IP address 24.71.193.69
He hits me and slaps me around..
BUT he's my brother.....!
What do you want me to do..?
I love him so much.......
It hurts so bad.....!
To see him changing it makes me mad.....!
He's my life my flesh and blood.....!
He was taken from me by drugs.....!
But he just cannot see,
The people around him that beg and plee....
To see our shannon the way he used to be....
The police say it may take years....
Even then he may never turn back...
To the person we loved...
The person he's ment to be..
How could they do this in the blink of the eye,
they changed a 13 year old boy into one of them....!
I see him around the streets and i try and act kool....
But inside it kills me so bad,
to see him this way..
But now i can see .....
There's no way he'll come home,
And stop hurting the one's who care..
unless those fools stop giving him drugs,,,,,,
i really hate them.....!
And i don't know how they could stoop that low...
AND CHANGE MY BABY BROTHER INTO A DRUG ****ED 13 YEAR OLD BOY..........!
Posted on Nov 6, 2003, 3:25 AM from IP address 202.162.98.45
I go day by day thanking I'm alive
Its to reach my goals that I now thrive
Letting myself be happy feels great
I couldn't even remember the last time I had ate
I am better now and getting stronger every day
And this is the way I want it to stay
giving to others actually helping people now
I am so greatful I was able to find a way out
Coming on my year was a very hard time
those were the days I almost gave into the line
but I have a friand and she helped me through
She went through the same thing so she kind of had a clue
People still judge me like I am nothing to them but I that I did I did it that to me they are just an illution in my head
To say you made it that you pulled it together
it feels good to tell people that you made it through the bad weather
So I will let people judge it dosen't bother me
Because I will live that day through thanks to being clean.
Posted on Oct 31, 2003, 8:00 AM from IP address 65.246.232.101
HOPE YOU ARE STILL DOING GREAT WITH YOUR ADDICTION .I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FROM CRACK COCAINE FOR5 YEARS. I LOST CUSTODY OF BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS . JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD JOB , AND THE POEM WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Posted on Dec 7, 2003, 11:27 PM from IP address 205.188.209.70
Just wanted to say that I loved your poem.Im a sober member of heroin & crack addiction.Continue to do whatever it is that you are doing in order to stay sober & remember its always better on this side of the rainbow.
Posted on Jan 15, 2004, 3:55 PM from IP address 64.12.96.198
Hey. Congradulations. Im happy for you and im also wondering how you did it? Please even if its just one tip could you give me some advice on quitting? Im 16 and im sick of craving everyday i havn't done it for a while but everyday i feel like im getting closer and closer to doing it again. And I know that if I do do it again i might not ever quit. Please I need some advice.
Posted on Dec 13, 2003, 10:38 PM from IP address 24.71.193.69
Hey I wanna give you an advice think about your family.I was addicted to crack for 4 yrs and I am trying so hard to stay clean, right now I am in a foster home and I am kinda scared that when I get released i am gonna go back to doing the same.But then I stop and think about my little nephews and about how much they need me.I don't speak to my mom because she is a crack adddict.Right now she doesn't even worry about me.She put my brother in jail for crack.It really gets me mad.Look just think about your priorities it helps to have a goal in life.
Posted on May 17, 2004, 11:14 AM from IP address 209.30.109.245
hey im staying clean and ive been clean for a month today. Its so peacfull well somedays are hard but if we just stick with god every day counts just live one day at a time.Live for tomarrow and let god lead the way.
Posted on Sep 8, 2004, 11:55 AM from IP address 64.8.190.51
HI, MY NAME IS JESSICA. I AM AN ADDICT. IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO SAY THIS. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THE CONSEQUENCES, ALWAYS THE HIGH. DIDN'T CARE IF I LIVED, DIDNT CARE IF I DIED. MY LIFE HAS FALLEN TO PIECES, YET AGAIN. I WILL TRY AND START OVER, MAKE A NEW PLAN. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY? WHERE DID I GO WRONG? WAS IT JUST MEANT TO BE? IS IT PART OF MY "DESTINY"? WILL I RECOVER? I WORK ON MY TWELVE STEPS FROM DAY TO DAY. SOMEHOW I SEEM TO END BACK UP ON THE SAME ONE WITHOUT DELAY. I ASK MYSELF OVER AND OVER, HOW CAN I BE 16 WITH SUCH A SERIOUS DISEASE? I AM IN DENIAL, BUT SUBCONSCIOUSLY DON'T SEE, THE PERSON HURTING THE MOST IS NOT ME. I HAVE MANY FRIENDS, ALL DO THE SAME, FAMILY TO TURN TO, WHEN I GET CAUGHT IN THE RAIN. SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ALL ALONE. LIKE THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO, LIKE I HAVE LOST MY WAY HOME. NOT KNOWING HOW TO FIND MY NORTH STAR, BUT KNOWING THE BOTTLE IS NOT VERY FAR. WHEN I AM IN NEED, IT'S THERE. THROUGH ALL MY LAPSES, IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY THING FOR WHICH I CARE. I LIE IN MY BED, WONDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT, PUT MY FAITH IN MY HIGHER POWER, LIVE DAY BY DAY. DONT ANTICIPATE, DONT WAIT. MAKE THE MEETINGS, LIVE FOR MYSELF FIRST, KEEP SAYING MY STEPS, KEEP SAYING THE VERSE. "FOR ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT....." WE WILL CONTINUE TO TRY AND DO GOOD. STAY IN LINE, DO WHAT WE SHOULD. IN THE END I LIE THERE AND PRAY, THE ONE PRAYER THAT KEEPS ME GOING THROUGHOUT THE DAY.... I NEED MY SERENITY TO MAKE IT THROUGH, THE POWER, THE BLESSINGS, THEN GOOD SHOULD COME OUT OF THIS TOO. A NORMAL LIFE, WITH NORMAL FRIENDS. A CONSISTENT PLAN, NO DEAD ENDS....
Posted on Sep 22, 2003, 2:19 AM from IP address 152.163.252.229
Your peom and story really touched me. It reminded me of myself so much I kind of got scared those are the word i have longed to say but the words never made it out. Maybey because I was scared to see that in words. I guess at times the truth can really scare you. It you don't mind I would like to post your story on one of my bulliten board that I have it is to educate the students and let them see that there are other people that stuggle to and it is somthing I am trying to spread across my campus. If you will let me know if I can that would be great!
Posted on Sep 23, 2003, 4:21 PM from IP address 65.246.232.101
THAT WAS AN AWESOME POEM, YOU CAN DO IT I DID, 17 PREGNANT AND ALSO AN ADDICT I CLEANED UP GRADUATED IM NOW IN ULTRASOUND TECH AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY 2 YEAR OLD SON.. ITS ALWAYS HARD IN THE BEGG BUT IT DOES GET BETTER.... GOODLUCK
Posted on Dec 10, 2005, 10:24 AM from IP address 152.163.101.7
I see you
trapped in there, in your thick alcohol
cocoon
I run my hands
over it's warm sticky skin
searching for a way in
to comfort you
And though
I no
longer imagine saving you from
yourself
I can't help but want to touch
your bare flesh
can't help the temptation, the urge
to steal your buried beauty
take it
while you sleep
to keep
it safe
Posted on Sep 13, 2003, 9:01 AM from IP address 64.109.12.81
What I would give to give it all back,
to be able to tell my kids I never touched a sack,
To walk through the streets with the stairs,
the stairs I get from people who don't even see my despare,
go back to school knowing that I was still smart,
what I would give to have a clean start
I want so much to give it all back,
but its to late now I smoked the whole sack,
wishing it was easy to forget all the times,
the time i was with my friends sniffin up the line,
well Im better now still dwelling on the past
but I can really say I came to my sences at last.
Posted on Sep 11, 2003, 11:32 AM from IP address 65.246.232.101
Hello, I just wanted to share that i feel your pain, emptiness, and numbness inside, i too was once there and to share a suggestion, something that has helped me to cope, its called Alanon, give me an email back if you would like to talk im here for you... thanks for sharing!!!!
Posted on Aug 5, 2003, 8:09 PM from IP address 68.137.32.156
Thank you for your advice. Its so nice to know I am not alone with this horrible stuff. I have been to Alanon, but most of the people there are family members of alcoholics which is fine because my father is an alcoholic and my mother is a recovering alcoholic and religious with her AA, I would really like to find a Naranon or somthing that can help me to deal with the drugs and my situation now. Growing up with alcholic parents has made my life so blurry and now its like I have no sense of what my future may bring me. You know how you get a feeling of what your lifes going to be in at least 5 years, well I have no clue were Im going to be or what im going to be doing all I know is I will have my little boy with me. I feel like I will never know the joys of life until I leave him, but I love him and what if he does quit this last time. Poeple say to me arent you ever going to learn? Back and forth back and forth I struggle with the possiblities of this affecting my son if I stay and the possibilties he will quit and my son wont have a father around because I have made a life changing desision. I hate this habit with such a passion I hate what it has done to my life, to my son, to mine and his family. His parents are ablivious it makes me sick. They have always made his life so easy he has never had to suffer consiquences and how he has stayed out of jail this long I have know idea. Any way thanks for the response. If you ever need to talk as well I am here too. How did you ever get through this?
Posted on Aug 7, 2003, 9:37 AM from IP address 64.2.105.11
Well all i can say is that i haven't gotten through it, i just take it one day at a time and even sometimes that isn't enough, sometimes i have to take it hour by hour minute by minute. It is really hard for me also because i want to control him and make the choices for him, but i can't. his sobriety is his, just like his drug addiction is his. IT is NOT MINE! Each day is a struggle, but that is ok because with each struggle i grow and become stronger. I'd like to just write back and forth throug email and i'll finish in there so here's mine... smileyhbc@hotmail.com I will talk to you later... God bless Haylee
Posted on Aug 7, 2003, 1:12 PM from IP address 68.137.32.74
I know what you mean I am in a situation of my boyfriend using Meth after being in recovory for three years and used. I am the one that turned him in but I am still standing by him and I don't understand why. I am scared if I stay it will happen again in a few years. I am taking care of everything so he don't even lose anything. I was very angry for a long time but figured out I have a choice to leave. your poam hit reality to me.
Posted on May 22, 2004, 10:29 PM from IP address 136.234.230.72
Sitting alone in the depths of the night
Everything is still, everything is quiet
I lie in my bed as I think of the past
I thank God I have come to my senses at last
I know what is wrong
I do what is right
As I feel myself being led to the light
A place of warmth, security and hope
A place where I can relax and learn hope to cope
Fly on the eagle’s wings, away from the stress
No thoughts on my mind, no distractions, no mess
Just me, the eagle, and the sky above
Inside of me, my heart overflows with love
I soar through the sky, warmth filling the air
I breath in courage, exhale despair
I wake up and I'm back in the dark
Not a sound around me, not a movement to spot
I smile and think of how lucky I am
To be able to dream, to be able to plan
To know that I have control over my life
To know I have a choice to do what is right
And some day you'll see
But right now it's night......
Posted on Aug 5, 2003, 12:36 AM from IP address 24.161.177.142
It is evil, It destoys lives, It takes a hold of you and it's hard to let go. I hate it with a passion because it destoyed my life. It's destroying my brothers life and my dads life as well. I hate it so much I wish it wasn't sold in stores, I wish it was never invented. Thoudands of people waist their money on it and it's bad for them. It is sad that some people have to depend on it to have a good time. I've tried it but I realized it's not for me at all. Bad, terrable, horrable things happen when it's used. I've seen all the things happen when it's used, hurtful things, scary things. It has a name, It's name is Alcohol.
Posted on Jul 3, 2003, 12:11 AM from IP address 208.60.224.212
Hey there! I feel your anger and hatred towards somthing so controlling over your life and the life of others. It blocks your passage for happiness and you just wallow in sorrow and dont have the capabilities to look forward to anything because everything is so dark. I am here if you want to talk.
Posted on Aug 7, 2003, 12:16 PM from IP address 64.2.105.11
I am speaking to you for ther very last time,
Never again will there be another pill,drink or line.
To live without you to me seems unreal,
But little did I realize how much you would steal.
You've raped me of everything, you've taken my life,
Twelve years of pain, anguish and strife.
In the beginning however, it was hardly that way,
We had fun together, I thought everything was okay.
But in no time at all we became more than just friends,
On your highs and your comforts I began to depend.
I relied in your pills, booze and your coke,
I couldn't get enough of your poison, I'd drink till I'd choke.
Would that stop me? No I'd take pill after pill,
Even though everyday I felt more and more ill.
And through a rolled dollar bill up my nose cocaine crept into, through my brain leaving holes as it left.
Then one day I took a look in the mirror and wept,
Because I looked of corrosion and death.
It was then that I realized you were not my friend,
Even though I was convinced that on you only I could depend.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks falling from the sky,
That all you had done for me was made me cheat, steal and lie.
You neglected to tell me the price I'd pay for your high,
You neglected to tell me it was all one big lie,
You neglected to tell me it was with you I would die.
So farewell Mother ****er, So long and GOODBYE
Posted on Apr 27, 2004, 1:57 PM from IP address 68.160.7.22
my name is nina ,and im 22 years old. i been clean and sober for 7 1/2 months.I been feeling better.im just trying to get my life back togther.recovery hasnt been so easy, but i dont want to go back to the hell that i use to live. i know i could do it one day at a time. i loved your letter, and stay strong.
love nina
Posted on Aug 10, 2004, 7:39 PM from IP address 64.136.49.226
I'm a 17 year old recovering drug addict. Ive done drugs since I was 12. The first drug that I've ever touched was ecstacy. I Smoked a lot and I had completely NO control until I got arrested. Now I'm lucky that Im still alive. I have a whole life ahead of me.
-ct
Posted on Nov 29, 2004, 8:31 AM from IP address 167.93.28.123
i loved this poem im 19 and have been doing meth and MANY other drugs since 14 years old ive been threw a lot but i think this really sums it up!!
-Tracy
Posted on Dec 5, 2005, 3:09 PM from IP address 205.213.240.8
I am a 17 yr. old female that has lived with parents that have been alcoholics all my life. I have put up with abuse in every kind of way that there is. I have 3 younger siblings and I am pretty much their mother. I graduate this year and I plan to enlist in the military when I'm done. But I am terrified to leave my younger ones alone because I don't know what will happen to them. I don't know what I should do. But I have to make up my mind very soon.
Posted on Sep 10, 2003, 9:52 AM from IP address 207.165.5.252
I empathize with you. I'm not sure how old they are but they may have inside issues with the "loss" of your parents and aren't sure how to deal with this burden. The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that you are pretty much there main source of care. Is there a possibility that you have family who you can trust to take care of them as you have? One thing that you should not have to putoff is your dream to enlist in the military, but if their well being is more important to you as well as them then you may have to make the decision to put your dream on hold right now until you know they will be safe when you leave. I can tell you from recent experience that praying does give you answers that you may not have yourself. It is a frighting thought that if you leave they may turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort, but if they have strong role models in their life then they will hopefully do what is right.
If you have more questions you are not sure of please do not hesitate to write me @ my email address above.
God bless and take care.
Posted on Apr 28, 2004, 1:15 PM from IP address 68.160.7.22
I know it feels I've been clean for 4 months.I get scared some times I'm scared to go back to drugs I know I am the only reason i stopped is cause I am in a foster home.But when I get released I know I'm gonna go bac to it.I was addicted to crack and weed for 4 yrs and I was addicted to roaches for 2yrs right know I am 16 going on 17 and I am scared that when i get released I'm gonna start again. My mom is a crack addicted and i don't speal to her because right now she doesn't care about me all she cares about is crack.I don't wanna end up like her.Just hang on in there.
Posted on May 17, 2004, 11:53 AM from IP address 209.30.109.245
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
Tell all my friends they’re ****in fake
Make sure you throw the needles away
I’ve been hoping, waiting for this day
Open your mind and turn the page
Consume the theory of my rage
I tried so hard but gave up trying
I cried so hard and I’m happy I’m dying
Cross my heart and hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye
I hope in heaven I can still get high
And if I can’t you know I’ll try
God gave me a precious life to live
And I chose to take instead of give
So listen not to my story
Or any junkie tale of glory
I am just a body without a soul
Feeding myself with no ultimate goal
Its time let go of the pain and the strife
I let a simple substance take over my life.
its a little deep i know but true in a way. this poem isnt about me, it was written through experiences with other friends and their drug use. tell me what you think.
Posted on May 8, 2003, 11:14 AM from IP address 208.40.128.11
That's pretty powerful. What suprised me is how you captured other people's feelings, emotions, pain, and misery without it actually happening to you. You probably really care. Well, I like your poem, it really caught my eye.
Posted on May 8, 2003, 11:21 AM from IP address 67.1.144.204
Hey, I loved the poem. I can relate. Drugs are bad, lol. I'm having a **** time with them, but I loved your poem. Great writing. Thanks for the words.
~Ski
Posted on May 12, 2003, 5:26 PM from IP address 205.188.209.141
Your poem reminded me of one of my close friends, and its sad because as much as she keeps saying shes going to try help herself, shes just as quick to say that she doesnt have a problem...Yet, every time she calls, when she does call she's either coming down hard or looking for someone real to talk to because shes lost...Its scary...because in reality I dont think theres anything I can do to help her. She tells lies to cover up lies...and all I can do is listen...
Posted on Aug 29, 2003, 9:25 PM from IP address 24.66.94.141
i have been there and done it and thought the same way until a year ago i shuld have lost my life but god gave me a second chance. i now have a son on the way and a man who loves me very much. i had a year clean sep 14 2003. god bless you and take care.
Posted on Oct 9, 2003, 1:45 AM from IP address 152.163.252.229
I hope u don't mind but I have to write a speach for class about drugs and alcohol and I would like to use ur poem cause I feel that it will teach the teens in my class. Great job on the poem by the way.
Posted on Jan 12, 2004, 7:06 PM from IP address 64.136.27.226
Hey there I am a recovering heroin addict and I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one sweetie.I couldent have said it better myself.That is exactly how I would feel everytime that I would pass out with a needle in my arm and then wake up pissed off because I ****ed up my high.This was an excellent poem.
Posted on Jan 15, 2004, 4:48 PM from IP address 64.12.96.198
Your poem was amazing....i am seventeen years old and am an ex herion addict of 3 years...your poem was so true to me becuase there were so many times that i just wanted to die so that i knew that i could die high and happy because that was all i knew..i just wanted to say thank you so much for the though...good luck
Posted on Sep 15, 2005, 1:05 PM from IP address 69.88.72.218
A line i dont cross
the limit of my will.
A trail I cant cross,
the stake to high.
A vacant road
that should never be travelled.
A locked door
never to be unlocked.
But its intriguing
this small separation
between me and a.........
scott
Posted on Apr 16, 2003, 12:12 AM from IP address 130.179.152.101
first is about MDMA,
the second is written to your most basic
of blues rifts and deals with, well..
guess
MDMA
neverending yes
as purring skin welcomes flesh
when all inside lives
MY DIRTY ELBOWS
hiding all my tracks
thinking bout the past
trying not to fall down
cant make a dime now
walkin down that line
wasted all night; day long
aimin real high
dont leave a bad trail now
her pictures on the floor
ive seen the dark shore
i wont sell my heart
i wont sell sophia
sold my soul
the water's on the table
Posted on Jan 30, 2003, 7:10 PM from IP address 199.224.107.47
some people say its wrong to hit tha bong
some people say that you'll try to ride the dong
some people say that gettin high isnt cool
some people say that you'll end up out of school
some people say that you'll think you can fly
some people say thats the point of gettin high
some people say you'll just end up broke
some people say you'll end up doin coke
some people say "whats the point to roll"
some people say "why do you smoke the bowl"
some people say some people are wrong
some people say to hit that bong
some people say to ride that dong
some people say that being high is cool
some people say "what are you talkin about i get it
from school"
some people say that aint the **** that'll you fly
some people say there aint a damn thing wrong about getting high...Jaclyn and Jessica as they smoke a blunt
Posted on Jan 30, 2003, 6:17 PM from IP address 68.105.232.101
**** those people....just because um lets see more then half of the ****in world smokes marijuana so shut the hell up...and what u talkin bout? this poem thing is tyte haha
Posted on Nov 9, 2003, 3:08 PM from IP address 67.167.117.151
It makes me sad to read this. The truth about pot isn't as lax as you seem to think. I am 26 and I thought smoking weed was cool for the longest. It just relaxed me. However.... the progression of the disease of addiction quickly brought me to jail. Quickly brought me to contract a virus that may kill me. Made me lose my home, my car, my child and ultimately my soul. But hey, its just a little weed. I hope you find the help you need when the time comes and don't have to share my bottom. but sadly, reality is you won't stop in till you are in great pain. God Bless.
Posted on Jan 21, 2004, 7:19 PM from IP address 162.84.184.15
WELP DUMP POELPE THAT MARIJUANA IS COOL BUT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY GOING TO ENDS UP LOOSE THEIR LIVE....PLUS SOME PEOLPE THINK THAT THEY ARE GOOD EVEN TO DO CRACK...BUT I FEEL SORRIE FOR THEN....THEY DON'T WANTS TO END UP SADIY....
Posted on Mar 31, 2004, 4:48 PM from IP address 63.203.168.10
WELP DUMP POELPE THAT MARIJUANA IS COOL BUT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY GOING TO ENDS UP LOOSE THEIR LIVE....PLUS SOME PEOLPE THINK THAT THEY ARE GOOD EVEN TO DO CRACK...BUT I FEEL SORRIE FOR THEN....THEY DON'T WANTS TO END UP SADIY....
Posted on Mar 31, 2004, 4:53 PM from IP address 63.203.168.10
