I don't know how I would have survived the dark times of Star Trek history, times when episodes like "Fair Haven" and "Unimatrix Zero" sapped at my very soul, if it weren't for the knowledge, provided by the SCOOP GUY, that better times were coming, that Star Trek would recover from its funk and rise to new heights of glory!
The SCOOP GUY's collumns have been like an old friend to me. I wept at the touching endings to William Shatner's books. The SCOOP GUY's report of the "borgified spot" ending to First Contact was so artful that it taught me to live my life to the fullest (why did they change the ending? why?). The animated "Star Trek: The Next Generation" preview reminded me of the importance of teamwork. And it seemed that every time I read the SCOOP GUY's review of "Star Trek: Godwar" that I learned something about life that I hadn't realized before. I can assure you that I am getting THAT movie on DVD as soon as it comes out.
I know I am not the only one who feels this way.
SCOOP GUY, I don't know if there is truly any way to repay you for your monumental contributions to the Star Trek universe. The very least that could be done, I think, would be for the producers of Star Trek to introduce a new spaceship in your honor in an upcoming movie: The U.S.S. SCOOP.
Such a ship should of course have "batman armor" just like U.S.S. Voyager. It should have torpedoes that are EVEN BETTER than quantum torpedoes, because they use EVEN SMALLER particles. I would call them "derivative torpedoes," because derivatives are, as I recall, really small. It also go faster than any other Federation ship and be larger. In moments of danger, the ship should be able to split into twenty-nine different smaller ships in a stunning visual sequence taking maybe fifteen minutes to accomplish. In its seperated, battle configuration, it should be powerfull enough to destroy a death star (and they should actually SAY this in the movie, so that no one can debate it).
It goes without saying that our favorite klingon, Worf, would be first officer on the ship so that he can travel to Deep Space 9 and/or the Enterprise-D, depending on which vessel is featured in the movie.
Well, that's what I would do. It still seems like insufficient recognition of the SCOOP GUY's many accomplishments. Then again, maybe just being the SCOOP GUY is reward enough. Well done, SCOOP GUY, well done.
Posted on Feb 5, 2002, 4:17 PM from IP address 128.223.162.23