Will be at BBQ with my two smoking brothers.....

No alcohol at Mom's but lots of food and stuff. My brothers will be smoking outside right at the table. I'll just have to get up and move away. I still like the smell of it so, I avoid smokers like the plague when they're smoking. Yesterday, I went to Target to get some weed killer (have some poison ivy going). I got my stuff, started the car and put the windows down just as dude on passenger side exhaled a big drag. The smoke wafted into my car and I got a big nosefull. Smelled good and the junkie started to talk to me......'you can have just one...ok, one pack. wouldn't it feel great to inhale a big drag and suck it down? there's a WaWa right there, go get a pack. don't you miss it?'. Well, I did dwell on that for a second, sat there in my car and looked around. A few cars away a lady who appeared to be in her late 40s/early 50s sparked one up as she exited her car, steaming it down as she walked the short distance to the store entrance. She appeared embarrassed when she saw me looking at her. I think I recognized myself in her. How it felt to be an active addict. 'Having' to steam one down before going into some place, like Target, so you don't have withdrawal symptoms while you're in there. And then steaming down another one 24 minutes later as you exit the store.....and then stopping at the WaWa on the way home and laying out the 12 bucks for two more packs so you can relax that night because you have more than enough of your drug to make through the night.

I am FREE of all that crap today I can do what I want, go where I want, hug who I want and NOT even give a thought to smoking. I really DON'T miss it! I am FREE and will STAY FREE today. It's so worth the pain and struggle of the early quit to get here. My house, car and self smell great. I have saved almost $1,200!!! I don't rush through things so I can go smoke. I don't worry how I smell or how my breath is when the new bf gets close or plants a smoocher on me I have NO COUGH and I CAN BREATHE !!! FREEDOM ROCKS !!!!


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'Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, we are free at last.' Martin Luther King, 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial