> Aeris: So, what do you like to do?
> Vegeta: Well, I like to go around and terrorize Namek
> villiages. Then I kick all of their sorry @$$s and steal
> the Dragon Balls that are there. Finally I throw the
> Dragon Ball in the water where that puny little prick,
> Gohan, finds it and steals it. Then I chase after him and
> the rest is histroy!
> Aeris: Why can't you be more like that Cloud?
> Cloud: I dunno.
> Tifa: Cloud's fine just the way he is, right Cloud?
> Cloud: I dunno.
> Barret: So your the foo' who's takin' this tequila lovin'
> hippie?
> Vegeta: First off, I'm not a foo' and second, yes I am
> takin' this tequila addictor!.
> (Another voice is suddnely heard)
> Voice: Hold it right there Vegeta!
> (person jumps down from cieling fan)
> Vegeta: Well if it ain't Zarbon the moron.
> Zarbon: I'm under orders from Master Frieza to take you
> out.
> Vegeta: I don't think so Moron! Unlike you, I'm straight
> and I have a girlfriend to prove it!
> Zarbon: Yeah right. Who is it your grandmother?
> Vegeta: Well for you it's probably your grandfather and
> no, it's not my grandmother.
> Aeris: I'm his new girlfriend you green faced piece of
> poop! (kicks Zarbon in the nuts)
> Zarbon: Oh.....poopy..... (disintegrates)
> Cait Sith: Okay, that was pretty f**ked up right there!
> Yuffie: You said it! (steals Vegeta's scouter from his
> pocket)
> Vegeta: Anyway, let's get down to business! I'll charge
> 600 gil on a regular day, 1100 a day on weekends and 2500
> on holidays.
> Tifa: That's a rip-off!
> Aeris: Don't talk to my new boyfriend like that Double-D!
> Tifa: Flower pussy!
> Red XIII: What the hell does that mean anyway?
> Cid: Hey Tifa, we're talkin' about Cait's friend here.
> I'll pay anything to get him outta my hair!
> Vegeta: Well in that case....
> Cid: Don't push your luck bucko!
> Vegeta: Dammit!
> Cloud: So when can you take him?
> Vegeta: Right now, if you insest....
> Everybody: WE INSEST!
EON: Oh crap, it's one of *those* fan-fics...
> Vegeta: Well I'll do it on one condition.
> Vincent: We're not paying you extra.
> Vegeta: No that's not it. If you'll allow me to take Aeris
> as my wife...
> Tifa: I accept! I accept! Take her! Take her! I hope you
> two have a wonderful life together!
> Vegeta: ...and let me live with you guys.
> Tifa: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
> Red XIII: What do you think Cloud?
> Cloud: Well, let's let Aeris decide.
> Aeris: I accept!
> Tifa: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
> Cait Sith: Aeris, I'll be your preacher and matchmaker.
> Just call me when it happens.
> Vegeta: We're gettin' married today!
> Everybody: WHAT?
> Cid: Shouldn't you have SOME time to think about it?
> Vegeta: Yeah I had five seconds. Isn't that enough?
> Cid: Yeah I guess.
> Aeris: Oh Vegeta! This is the happiest day of my life!
> (hugs Vegeta, Vegeta sticks his tongue in her mouth)
> Tifa: (thinking to herself) Aeris you bitch! I'll find a
> way to rid you once and for all! (sees Sephioroth walk be
> with a sponge and a bucket) Hey Sephiroth?
> Sephiroth: What do you want?
> Tifa: Uhhh.....where are you off to?
> Sephiroth: That damn Musashi peed on the floor again! And
> guess who has to clean it?
> Tifa: The Pillsberry Doughboy?
> Sephiroth: (sarcasticlly) Yeah that's right. Damn Frieza!
> Frieza: (still locked in the flooded bathroom) I heard
> that! Girgle......girgle.....
> Tifa: Could you do me a favor?
> Sephiroth: What's in it for me?
> Tifa: (whisper, whisper) I'll give you...........pleasure.
> Sephiroth: HELL YEAH!
> (whole team looks at Sephiroth)
> Sephiroth: Sorry.... so when are ya' gonna give me
> pleasure?
> Tifa: When you kill Aeris at her wedding today.
> Sephiroth: Aeris is getting married? To who?
> Tifa: That Vegeta character.
> Sephiroth: VEGETA!?
> Vegeta: (taking tongue out of Aeris' mouth) What do you
> want? Can't you see I'm busy!?
> Sephiroth: Oh sorry. Where's Musashi's room?
> Vegeta: Figure it out yourself!
> Sephiroth: Okay... (turns back to Tifa) Okay I'll kill her
> for you but you better live up to your side of the deal!
> Tifa: No problem!
> (Vegeta takes his tongue out of Aeris' mouth) You can look
> now, we're done.
> Barret: Thank God!
> Cid: Hey what about Cait's friend?
> Cait's friend: Tequila man!
> Vegeta: I'll take him AFTER the wedding!
> Cloud: YOU BETTER OR ELSE YOUR GONNA FEEL THE WRONG END OF
> MY SWORD!
> Cid: I have a tuxedo you can wear.
> Cloud: And Aeris can use Tifa's wedding dress.
> Tifa: F**k no!
> Cloud: C'mon Teef, if you do I'll......you
> know....tonight.
> Tifa: (forgeting her deal with Sephiroth) O...Ok!
> Red XIII: Well what are we waiting for? Lets...... (gets
> interrupted by a high pitched voice)
> Musashi: I'm Musashi! I'm a little punk!
> Vegeta: That's for sure!
> Barret: Hey, kid, how 'bout you come with us and meet ma'
> daughter! She's ya' age practically!
> Musashi: Yeah! A girl! I'm finally gonna get a girl to
> chase around and play tag and truth or dare and play in a
> sandbox and did I mention playing tag?
> Cid: Shut up ya' little punk!
> Musashi: I'm a little punk!
> Cloud: Ok let's..... (interrupted by another voice. This
> time a deep one)
> Voice: Vegeta stop!
> Vegeta: (turns around to see Piccolo) What do you want
> Pickle d**k!?
> Piccolo: The name's Piccolo and where do you think your
> going?
> Vegeta: I'm getting married. Your welcome to come along if
> you like.
> Piccolo: Vegeta? Getting married?
> Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's a good one!
> Vegeta: Like you'll ever get married, Pickle d**k!
> Piccolo: The name's Piccolo, Fejita, and yes, I happened
> to be getting married in two months.
> Cait's freind: Fejita man!
> Cait Sith: Piccolo, I'll be your matchmaker and....
> Cloud: You've already said that, Cait!
> Cait Sith: Oh yeah I forgot.
> Piccolo: You're all welcome to come along if you like.
> Vegeta: This I gotta see.
> Piccolo: And vise versa for you, Fejita!
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!
> Piccolo: Shut up!
> Red XIII: So, what's keeping us?
> Frieza: ME!!!!!!!!!!!! (covered in piss and s**t)
> Cid: Well if it ain't the Freezer!
> Frieza: Shut up! I won't allow you to get married
> Vegeta!!!
> Vegeta: How are you gonna stop me? FREEZE me!?!?
> Frieza: Your friends already tried that!!
> Cait Sith: No s**t, Sherlock!!!
> Red XIII: Go to hell Freezer!!!! (farts on Frieza, making
> him disintegrate into gas)
> Joe: All right Red!
> Tifa: Yeah!! Freezer's dead!
> Cait Sith: And the peasants...rejoice!!!
> Red XIII: There's nothing like a good fart after 20
> burritos!
> Vegeta: Well then shall we find a wedding chapel my dear?
> Aeris: Hell yeah!
>
> The crew heads off with their newest member, Vegeta. They
> get ready for the wedding by sending out invitations,
> getting the cake prepared and buying the wedding rings.
>
> (at the Hideout)
> Cait Sith: So, who does Aeris want to invite?
> Red XIII: Let's see.... her step mother, us, uh.... her
> cat...
> Cait Sith: She doesn't have a cat, stupid!
> Red XIII: No s**t, Sherlock!
> Cait Sith: That's my line!! Who does Vegeta want to
> invite?
> Red XIII: Let's see.... Pickle d**k, Bulma, all of his
> saiyan friends on the bowling team, Nappa...
> Cait Sith: (in an announcer voice) The proud owner of Napa
> Autoparts!!
> Red XIII: And last he wants to invite Joe's mama!!!
> Cait Sith: I didn't know Vegeta knew Joe's mom!!
> Red XIII: Well, apparently, he does!!
> Cait Sith: Just write the invitations out and send them!
>
> (at the store)
> Baker: (brings out the cake) Here you go, sir!
> Vegeta: No! For the fifth time, it's Aeris and VE-GE-TA!!
> V-E-G-E-T-A! Not fejita!!! Do I have to write it down for
> you?
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!!!
> Vegeta: Shut the hell up!!!
> Baker: Gosh, your mean! I won't fix your wedding cake up
> because your being mean!
> Vegeta: Listen, if you don't, you'll find yourself in
> another dimension!!
> Baker: Is that the fourth dimension your talking about!!!
> Vegeta: THAT'S IT!!! DIE!!!! (blows the entire store up)
> Barret: Hey foo'!! I wasn't done shoppin'!!!
> Vegeta: Too bad!!!
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!!
> Vegeta: Someone please shut this asshole up!!
> Barret: Allow me foo'! (blows Cait's friend up with a
> rocket)
> Red XIII: (his voice echoing through the wind) H----A!!!
> H----A!!!
> Aeris: What was that?
> Vegeta: It was an owl my dear!
> Barret: Get da' cake and let's go!
>
> Vegeta, Aeris and Barret climb out of the crater the store
> once stood on and boarded the Highwind. The crew heads
> back to Midgar and picks up Red and Cait. They then head
> for the Sector 5 chapel...
>
> At the wedding...
>
> Aeris: (walking down the aisle) This is the happiest day
> of my life!
> Elmyra: You finally found a guy that respects you!
> Bulma: I can't believe my ex-husband would marry such a
> ditz!
> Trunks: Daddy said you were the ditz!
> Bulma: WHAT!?!?!? How dare he calls me that!!!
> Vegeta: (in Cid's tuxedo; looks over at Cid) This thing is
> f**kin' tight!
> Cid: Too bad!
> Nappa: You look funny, Vegeta!!
> Vegeta: Shut up, Nappa!! And how in the hell did you come
> back to life!?!?
> Nappa: With an Instant Plot Device, just add water,
> Vegeta!!
> Vegeta: Shut up, Nappa!! Your a sorry excuse for a
> saiyan!!
> Nappa: Don't be so mean to me, Vegeta!
> (As Aeris walked by, Tifa steps on the back of her wedding
> dress, exposing.....er....you get the point)
> Aeris: I'm gonna kill you Double-D!
> Sephiroth: No! I'm gonna kill
> yooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu! (falls out of the tree and
> onto the wedding cake)
> Cloud: Sephiroth!
> Cait Sith: What the f**k are you doing here?
> Sephiroth: Fulfilling what I was bargined to do.....KILL
> AERIS! SCREW TIFA!
> Vegeta: Kill Areis!?
> Cloud: Screw Tifa!?
> Vegeta: How dare you threaten Aeris!!!!!!!!
> Cloud: How dare you hit on Tifa!!!!!!!!!!
> Vegeta: C'mon Cloud, lets kick this guy's sorry @$$!
> Cloud: Yeah! He threatend our women!
> Vegeta: (turns into a the ape form) Now you'll feel the
> wrath of Vegeta.........WAHHH! (slips on some cake) DAMN
> CAKE!!!
> Cloud: OMNISLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (charges but trips over
> a table)
> Goku: (coming out of nowhere) Let me help! Kao Cannon
> times..............1000! (blasts Sephiroth's @$$ across
> the world)
> Vegeta: Thanks, Kakaraught!
> Goku: No problem! Now I must go! (Goku flies off as the
> rest of the team waves bye)
> Cait Sith: Now that's done, let's procede. Do you,
> Vegeta....
> Piccolo: (snickering)
> Vegeta: What's so damn funny, Pickle d**k!?
> Piccolo: Noth.....Noth....Nothing.
> Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
> Cait Sith: Anyway, do you, Vegeta, take Aeris to be your
> lawfully wedded wife, to love, to cherish, and to pump her
> day and night and wake up the neighbors so help you God.
> Vegeta: Sounds like fun...
> Cait Sith: Do you, Aeris, take Vegeta to be your lawfully
> wedded husband to love, cherish, blah, blah, blah...
> Aeris: I do! I do!
> Musashi: I am Musashi!
> Cid: Shut up!
> Cait Sith: Then by the city of Midgar and the intensity of
> my megaphone, I pronounce you Saiyin and Ancient. You may
> screw the bride! Just don't do it here.
> Vegeta: Yeah baby!
> Yuffie: I think I'm gonna....cry.... (takes Aeris' wedding
> ring and puts it in her pocket)
> Vincent: We should get married Yuffie!
> Yuffie: I agree! How 'bout next week!
> Vincent: Yeah baby!
>
> (back at the hideout)
> Cloud: Three cheers for Aeris and Vegeta.... may you have
> a good sex life!
> Everyone: Cheers!
> Nappa: (picks up a nail gun) What's this do Vegeta?
> (shoots a nail out)
> Vegeta: (nail goes up his ass) My @$$! My @$$! My f**kin'
> @$$!!
> Barret: Dat's ma line foo'!!!
> Nappa: Sorry Vegeta!!
> Vegeta: EAT THIS!! (turns Nappa into a cookie)
> Nappa: (takes a bite out of himself) Mmmmmmmmm!! I taste
> good, Vegeta!!
> Vegeta: I bet you do! (picks up Nappa and eats him)
>
> (in the corner)
> Marlene: Let's play tag, Musashi!
> Musashi: Okay! Your it!
> (Marlene chases Musashi but he trips and cracks his head
> open)
> Marlene: MUSASHI!
> Musashi: If I get reincarnated, I wanna be Musashi again!
> (dies)
>
>
>
> THE END
>
>