SIG <Vegeta, camply>: Well, I like needlework and fancy embroidery!
SAMAS <Aeris>: ...
R.JAK <Vegeta, gruffly>: ... and killing things and drinking a lot.
SAMAS <Aeris>: ...
TBS <Vegeta>: I AM VEGETA! I SHOOTS THE CHI BOLTS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!
SAMAS <Aeris>: ...
EON <Vegeta>: I am also fond of the theatrical works of Sterling Hayden.
SAMAS <Aeris>: ...
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: ...Nothing. I do nothing. I'm boring. Are you happy now?
SAMAS <Aeris>: That's what I'd been thinking.
> Vegeta: Well, I like to go around and terrorize Namek
> villiages.
SIG <Vegeta>: ...shouting "Ooga Booga Booga!"
> Then I kick all of their sorry @$$s
T.OGRE: Asss?
> and steal the Dragon Balls that are there. Finally I throw the
> Dragon Ball in the water
SAMAS <Vegeta>: One Dragon Ball dissolved in a lake of water makes around two liters of Dragon Soup.
> where that puny little prick,
> Gohan, finds it and steals it. Then I chase after him and
> the rest is histroy!
EON <robotically>: HISTROY... HISTROY...
T.OGRE: Why isn't he mentioning the fact that he's married Bulma, got one kid, and had gotten killed
many times while trying to prove himself better than Goku?
R.JAK: You don't SAY that sort of crap on a first date, man.
> Aeris: Why can't you be more like that Cloud?
> Cloud: I dunno.
EON <Cloud>: I got the hair for it, though.
> Tifa: Cloud's fine just the way he is, right Cloud?
> Cloud: I dunno.
SAMAS: Sad thing is Cloud's character is down-pad.
T.OGRE: Or he's had a wacky mix-up with Squall.
> Barret: So your the foo' who's takin' this tequila lovin'
> hippie?
> Vegeta: First off, I'm not a foo' and second, yes I am
> takin' this tequila addictor!.
TBS <Barret>: Terrific!.
EON <Vegeta>: I'll get right on it!.
TBS <Barret>: See that you do!.
> (Another voice is suddnely heard)
TBS <Magic Voice>: Commercial sign in five... four... three...
> Voice: Hold it right there Vegeta!
> (person jumps down from cieling fan)
R.JAK: Cool. Ninja infestation.
> Vegeta: Well if it ain't Zarbon the moron.
T.OGRE: What? No stupid mispronunciation humour for the name of a Dragon Ball character? The author's *losing his touch*!
> Zarbon: I'm under orders from Master Frieza to take you
> out.
SAMAS <Zarbon>: ...for ballroom dancing lessons.
> Vegeta: I don't think so Moron! Unlike you, I'm straight
> and I have a girlfriend to prove it!
SIG: He's in denial...
[OTHERS nod their heads.]
> Zarbon: Yeah right. Who is it your grandmother?
EON <singing>: He's his own grampa...
> Vegeta: Well for you it's probably your grandfather and
> no, it's not my grandmother.
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: Whatever the hell that meant... you get the picture.
SAMAS <Zarbon>: I do?
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: Yiiiiiiiiihs...
> Aeris: I'm his new girlfriend you green faced piece of
> poop! (kicks Zarbon in the nuts)
TBS: As a member of the green community, I find that greviously insulting.
R.JAK: Gee. All that hard work of leveling up and fighting bosses, and all I ever had to do was kick
them in the fucking nuts. All those wasted hours...
> Zarbon: Oh.....poopy..... (disintegrates)
SAMAS: Is this the only thing people can think of to say before they die?
EON: This is like Scorched Earth if you accidentally deleted the text file with the death cries in it.
> Cait Sith: Okay, that was pretty f**ked up right there!
SAMAS: You know, I couldn't help but notice that.
> Yuffie: You said it! (steals Vegeta's scouter from his
> pocket)
> Vegeta: Anyway, let's get down to business! I'll charge
> 600 gil on a regular day, 1100 a day on weekends and 2500
> on holidays.
SAMAS: Wow. These "10-10" numbers are getting really expensive...
> Tifa: That's a rip-off!
T.OGRE: *Rip-off*? It's 600 gil! You can make more than that by mugging insects in this game!
> Aeris: Don't talk to my new boyfriend like that Double-D!
> Tifa: Flower pussy!
> Red XIII: What the hell does that mean anyway?
EON: It means she has a kitty who smells like roses?
> Cid: Hey Tifa, we're talkin' about Cait's friend here.
> I'll pay anything to get him outta my hair!
SIG <Cid>: And by "him" I mean "his puke".
> Vegeta: Well in that case....
> Cid: Don't push your luck bucko!
> Vegeta: Dammit!
T.OGRE: Remind me again why Vegeta hasn't destroyed any continents yet.
R.JAK: This is the less meaner Vegeta here.
T.OGRE: I *said* 'continent', not 'planet'.
> Cloud: So when can you take him?
> Vegeta: Right now, if you insest....
> Everybody: WE INSEST!
EON: This would explain why everybody in the fic seems inbred.
T.OGRE: Shh.
> Vegeta: Well I'll do it on one condition.
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: That you lower your nipples.
> Vincent: We're not paying you extra.
> Vegeta: No that's not it. If you'll allow me to take Aeris
> as my wife...
R.JAK <Vegeta>: I've been been pretty lonely since Tenchi kicked me out.
<FishNote: I can explain, if you like...>
[No. -rJ]
[Knight Note: Yeah. No. ^_^]
> Tifa: I accept! I accept! Take her! Take her! I hope you
> two have a wonderful life together!
> Vegeta: ...and let me live with you guys.
> Tifa: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TBS: I'm sensing mixed signals here.
> Red XIII: What do you think Cloud?
SIG <Cloud, thinking>: ...I wonder how I'd look in a bride's maid gown?
R.JAK <Cloud>: What is this 'think' you refer to?
EON <Red XIII>: Never mind.
R.JAK <Cloud>: I like swords.
[Knight Note: FROM OUT OF *NOWHERE*! *BAAANG*! :)]
> Cloud: Well, let's let Aeris decide.
> Aeris: I accept!
> Tifa: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: And we'll have Mariah Carey sing at the reception!
SIG <Tifa>: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SAMAS <Aeris>: We'll have the shower at Denny's!
SIG <Tifa>: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
R.JAK <Vincent>: Hey, Tifa... your grandma just died.
SIG <Tifa>: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
T.OGRE: The part of Tifa will be played by Pedro, a foreign labor worker.
SIG <Tifa>: Very... VERY... *NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*!
> Cait Sith: Aeris, I'll be your preacher and matchmaker.
TBS: Oh cool! He's gonna condemn them to hell then match Vegeta up with a wealthy Jewish doctor?
EON: Don't think so...
TBS: Ah...so he's gonna bring his Irish vampire friend and Walter Matthau?
EON: Er...
TBS: Oh *I* know! He's gonna chant some incantations, cover their heads in sulfur and then rub sandpaper on them?
R.JAK: Okay, you're getting too deep into this. Stop.
> Just call me when it happens.
> Vegeta: We're gettin' married today!
> Everybody: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: We're gettin' married!
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: Today!
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: Matrimony!
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: Before sundown!
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: I said before sundown!
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta, staring at camera>: I said before sundown.
ALL <Crowd>: WHAT?
TBS <Vegeta>: And that's the bottom line!
> Cid: Shouldn't you have SOME time to think about it?
> Vegeta: Yeah I had five seconds. Isn't that enough?
> Cid: Yeah I guess.
T.OGRE: He'll change his mind after he hears about the blood test.
> Aeris: Oh Vegeta! This is the happiest day of my life!
> (hugs Vegeta, Vegeta sticks his tongue in her mouth)
TBS <Aeris>: Vegeta, I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not hungry.
> Tifa: (thinking to herself)
SIG <Tifa>: It doesn't add up! That means that Vegeta was seeing Aeris... while I was still here! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Giant stone letters spelling out "NO!" float by behind the seats. SIG looks behind him and stares in awe.]
> Aeris you bitch! I'll find a
> way to rid you once and for all! (sees Sephioroth walk be
> with a sponge and a bucket)
R.JAK: Heh. Must be community service.
SIG: And to think, right now, Kefka is going hungry.
> Hey Sephiroth?
> Sephiroth: What do you want?
> Tifa: Uhhh.....where are you off to?
EON <Sephiroth>: Funkytown.
> Sephiroth: That damn Musashi peed on the floor again!
SIG: Miyamoto Musashi: Legendary swordsman, author of "The Book of Five Rings," and spokesperson for Ditropan XL.
> And guess who has to clean it?
> Tifa: The Pillsberry Doughboy?
> Sephiroth: (sarcasticlly) Yeah that's right. Damn Frieza!
> Frieza: (still locked in the flooded bathroom) I heard
> that! Girgle......girgle.....
T.OGRE: If Freiza's so damned powerful, why doesn't he just blast his way out of that bathroom?
R.JAK: Two things. First, he took a "Doesn't work in toilet water" limiter on all his powers to whore
himself a few more power points.
T.OGRE: And the second?
R.JAK: The second is that you know damn well you shouldn't be asking those types of questions.
T.OGRE: But, I mean, I don't remember anybody even *closing* the door, let alone--
R.JAK: See 'second thing' we just discussed.
T.OGRE: Okay okay okay.
> Tifa: Could you do me a favor?
> Sephiroth: What's in it for me?
> Tifa: (whisper, whisper) I'll give you...........pleasure.
TBS: A PS2 and Twisted Metal: Black.
EON <Austin>: If you're into plot-destroyin' matchups, gimme a "hell yeah."
> Sephiroth: HELL YEAH!
> (whole team looks at Sephiroth)
ALL <crowd>: WHAT?
SAMAS: You saw that coming, didn't you?
EON: (innocently) Not really...
> Sephiroth: Sorry.... so when are ya' gonna give me
> pleasure?
> Tifa: When you kill Aeris at her wedding today.
TBS: Isn't that a little inconsiderate? I mean, the catering for the reception will go completely to waste.
EON <Hamlet>: Thrift, thrift, Horatio! The wedding baked meats did coldly furnish forth the funeral tables.
TBS: You have that backwards.
EON: It wouldn't fit otherwise.
TBS: True 'dat.
R.JAK: I need asprin.
> Sephiroth: Aeris is getting married? To who?
> Tifa: That Vegeta character.
> Sephiroth: VEGETA!?
TBS <Vegeta>: SEPHIORTH!?
SIG <Sephiroth>: Hey! Shut up!
> Vegeta: (taking tongue out of Aeris' mouth) What do you
> want? Can't you see I'm busy!?
SAMAS: Well, SOMETHING'S busy anyway.
> Sephiroth: Oh sorry. Where's Musashi's room?
> Vegeta: Figure it out yourself!
> Sephiroth: Okay... (turns back to Tifa) Okay I'll kill her
> for you
EON <Tifa>: Oh, just like you killed her last time, huh?
SIG <Sephiroth>: Yes, just like I killed her... hey, wait a minute...
> but you better live up to your side of the deal!
> Tifa: No problem!
> (Vegeta takes his tongue out of Aeris' mouth) You can look
> now, we're done.
> Barret: Thank God!
R.JAK: Must be his turn next.
> Cid: Hey what about Cait's friend?
> Cait's friend: Tequila man!
> Vegeta: I'll take him AFTER the wedding!
T.OGRE <Cait>: Take my friend, please!
EON: Dude, really you should be taking your WIFE after the wed--
ALL: THANK YOU, EON!
> Cloud: YOU BETTER OR ELSE YOUR GONNA FEEL THE WRONG END OF
> MY SWORD!
SAMAS <Cloud>: FOR I AM THE LEGENDARY CLOUD AND YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME FOR I AM SO
VERY LEGENDARY INDEED AS I DEFEAT ANYBODY WHO COMES IN MY WAY WHICH IS PROVEN BY THE
FACT THAT I AM STILL HERE AND NOT DEAD EVEN THOUGH THE SEPHIROTH FELLOW IS STILL HERE I
AM STILL VERY POWERFUL AND VERY LEGENDARY!
TBS <Cloud>: And I don't have any evil plans.
> Cid: I have a tuxedo you can wear.
> Cloud: And Aeris can use Tifa's wedding dress.
EON: But won't it be a bit... stretched?
R.JAK: Aw, loosen the seams a little, it'll be fine.
> Tifa: F**k no!
SIG <Tifa>: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
T.OGRE: Yes, we *get it*.
[A beat.]
SAMAS: R?
SIG: No.
> Cloud: C'mon Teef, if you do I'll......you
> know....tonight.
SIG <Cloud>: I'll do that thing with the French Tickler you like so mu--
(There is a loud BOOM.)
R.JAK: SAMAS, you blew up the last row of seats.
SAMAS: (with smoking missile launcher) Just venting.
> Tifa: (forgeting her deal with Sephiroth) O...Ok!
> Red XIII: Well what are we waiting for? Lets...... (gets
> interrupted by a high pitched voice)
T.OGRE: The Chipmunks dropped by for a cameo.
R.JAK: With the way things are going, I honestly wouldn't be surprised.
> Musashi: I'm Musashi! I'm a little punk!
> Vegeta: That's for sure!
> Barret: Hey, kid, how 'bout you come with us and meet ma'
> daughter! She's ya' age practically!
TBS: Isn't that like Lot offering his daughters to the Sodomites?
EON: I didn't need that image...
> Musashi: Yeah! A girl! I'm finally gonna get a girl to
> chase around and play tag and truth or dare and play in a
> sandbox and did I mention playing tag?
> Cid: Shut up ya' little punk!
> Musashi: I'm a little punk!
SIG <Musashi>: Wait, wait, that's not it. I'm supposed to deny it, aren't I? Okay, let's try this again...
> Cloud: Ok let's..... (interrupted by another voice. This
> time a deep one)
> Voice: Vegeta stop!
TBS: EEEEK! It's my hibachi dealer Raul!
> Vegeta: (turns around to see Piccolo) What do you want
> Pickle d**k!?
EON <Piccolo>: I have something important to say.
R.JAK <Vegeta>: And?
EON <Piccolo, singing>: Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber, Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Iiii'm a cu-cum-ber! Please-don't-take-me to the pi-ckle-farm!
R.JAK <Vegeta>: ...
EON <Piccolo>: Alright, I'm done, you guys can get back to your thing.
> Piccolo: The name's Piccolo and where do you think your
> going?
SAMAS <Shaft>: To get laid. Where the hell are YOU going?
> Vegeta: I'm getting married.
EON <singing>: In the mor-ning! Ding-dong the bells are going to chiiiime!
> Your welcome to come along if you like.
SIG <Vegeta>: You can be a flower girl.
T.OGRE <Vegeta>: Better yet! Why don't you be the dinner salad?
> Piccolo: Vegeta? Getting married?
> Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's a good one!
> Vegeta: Like you'll ever get married, Pickle d**k!
> Piccolo: The name's Piccolo, Fejita, and yes, I happened
> to be getting married in two months.
T.OGRE: But isn't he assexual and capable of reproducing on his own and--
R.JAK: Thinking bad. Remember that.
T.OGRE: Thinking bad.
> Cait's freind: Fejita man!
> Cait Sith: Piccolo, I'll be your matchmaker and....
EON: Why did I just get the mental image of Cait Sith dressed like a yenta?
TBS: Is that a rhetorical question?
T.OGRE: *God* I hope so.
> Cloud: You've already said that, Cait!
> Cait Sith: Oh yeah I forgot.
> Piccolo: You're all welcome to come along if you like.
> Vegeta: This I gotta see.
> Piccolo: And vise versa for you, Fejita!
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!
> Piccolo: Shut up!
> Red XIII: So, what's keeping us?
> Frieza: ME!!!!!!!!!!!! (covered in piss and s**t)
R.JAK <Red XIII>: How did you get here?
T.OGRE <Frieza>: It's this little thing called the door handle.
> Cid: Well if it ain't the Freezer!
TBS <Freiza>: Okay, you got me. I'm actually Zangief in drag. COMRADE! DA!
R.JAK: This is not going to bode well...
> Frieza: Shut up! I won't allow you to get married
> Vegeta!!!
SAMAS <Frieza>: You're mine! You're supposed to marry ME!
> Vegeta: How are you gonna stop me? FREEZE me!?!?
EON: Yes, thank you...ENOUGH on the name puns already! We get it!
> Frieza: Your friends already tried that!!
> Cait Sith: No s**t, Sherlock!!!
SAMAS: G!
SIG: No.
> Red XIII: Go to hell Freezer!!!! (farts on Frieza, making
> him disintegrate into gas)
TBS <badly dubbed voice>: The fart of God. What does it mean? With a remarkable sound.
> Joe: All right Red!
T.OGRE <Joe>: I'm a complete non-factor in the story, but I appreciate the scatalogical weaponry of others!
SAMAS: Uh...
> Tifa: Yeah!! Freezer's dead!
> Cait Sith: And the peasants...rejoice!!!
ALL <peasants, deadpan>: Yay.
TBS <peasant>: Let's revolt now.
> Red XIII: There's nothing like a good fart after 20
> burritos!
R.JAK <Red XIII>: Not that I *ate any*! I'm *just saying*, god *damn it*!
> Vegeta: Well then shall we find a wedding chapel my dear?
EON <Vegeta>: If you think we should go find ourselves a wedding chapel, GIMME A HELL YEAH!
> Aeris: Hell yeah!
ALL <crowd>: WHAT?
SAMAS: Eon, *stop that*.
> The crew heads off with their newest member, Vegeta.
SAMAS: Sure, he's ridiculously overpowered, but at least he isn't Orlandu!
R.JAK: Orlandu appears later in the story. Accompanied by the Oompa-Loompas, or something equally *fucking stupid*! AAAAARGH!
[R.JAK, finding a bottle of asprin under his seat, elects to swallow the bottle whole with the asprin inside rather than waste any time opening it.]
SIG: Whoa.
> They get ready for the wedding by sending out invitations,
> getting the cake prepared and buying the wedding rings.
TBS: Emmy would have a conniption just thinking about this.
SAMAS: I bet.
> (at the Hideout)
> Cait Sith: So, who does Aeris want to invite?
> Red XIII: Let's see.... her step mother, us, uh.... her
> cat...
> Cait Sith: She doesn't have a cat, stupid!
> Red XIII: No s**t, Sherlock!
R.JAK <Cait Sith>: Then WHY THE HELL did you say that?
T.OGRE <Red XIII>: I LIKE cats! You have a problem with that?
> Cait Sith: That's my line!! Who does Vegeta want to
> invite?
SAMAS: S.
SIG: No.
SAMAS: *What the fuck*! There's *always* an *S*!
> Bulma, all of his saiyan friends on the bowling team, Nappa...
> Cait Sith: (in an announcer voice) The proud owner of Napa
> Autoparts!!
R.JAK <Cait Sith>: Ah'm funny! Ah-hyuck!
> Red XIII: And last he wants to invite Joe's mama!!!
SAMAS: Whose mama?
ALL: Joe mama!
SAMAS: Joe Mama so Fat, whe she go to the beach, the tide comes in!
R.JAK: Joe Mama so Ugly, she looked in the mirror and her reflection ducked!
EON: Joe Mama so Dumb, she failed a blood test!
SIG: Joe Mama so Short, she can't hi-five a Smurf!
TBS: Joe Mama so Nasty, she gives head 'cause she's thirsty!
T.OGRE: Joe Mama so Black, she walks into a room and the lights dim!
> Cait Sith: I didn't know Vegeta knew Joe's mom!!
[TBS waggles his eyebrows.]
> Red XIII: Well, apparently, he does!!
> Cait Sith: Just write the invitations out and send them!
SAMAS: Two hours later...
R.JAK <Red XIII>: Erm...Cait? I can't hold a pen.
EON <Cait>: AAAAAAAAAAUGH!
> (at the store)
> Baker: (brings out the cake) Here you go, sir!
> Vegeta: No! For the fifth time, it's Aeris and VE-GE-TA!!
> V-E-G-E-T-A! Not fejita!!! Do I have to write it down for
> you?
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!!!
> Vegeta: Shut the hell up!!!
> Baker: Gosh, your mean! I won't fix your wedding cake up
> because your being mean!
TBS <Konamiman>: I no give you energy because you hit me.
R.JAK: Something's wrong with this character. He's not gratuitously swearing.
T.OGRE: So this is what John Provost did after Lassie.
> Vegeta: Listen, if you don't, you'll find yourself in
> another dimension!!
T.OGRE: You'll find yourself in another dimension. Not a dimension of sight and sound, but of ideas.
> Baker: Is that the fourth dimension your talking about!!!
> Vegeta: THAT'S IT!!! DIE!!!! (blows the entire store up)
TBS: Fortunately, as this is the FUNimation version, it was a robot store that was completely abandoned that all the crew bailed out of at the last second.
> Barret: Hey foo'!! I wasn't done shoppin'!!!
> Vegeta: Too bad!!!
> Cait's friend: Fejita man!!
> Vegeta: Someone please shut this asshole up!!
> Barret: Allow me foo'! (blows Cait's friend up with a
> rocket)
SIG: Alas, Cait's Friend. We knew him not.
T.OGRE: What? No goddamned character development?
EON: On the bright side, "oh poopy" series of periods is beyond his range of communication.
> Red XIII: (his voice echoing through the wind) H----A!!!
SAMAS: P?
SIG: No.
> H----A!!!
SAMAS: B?
SIG: To tell the truth, I have no clue anymore.
> Aeris: What was that?
> Vegeta: It was an owl my dear!
> Barret: Get da' cake and let's go!
R.JAK: For in the end...it is only the cake that matters.
(a gong sounds)
> Vegeta, Aeris and Barret climb out of the crater the store
> once stood on
T.OGRE: Yeah, I hear having your store *standing on a crater* is a bad business move.
R.JAK: My brain didn't even attempt to parse that. It spat it back out and hid somewhere.
SAMAS: This is a lot like the subtitled version of GaoGaiGar, now that I think it over.
> and boarded the Highwind. The crew heads
> back to Midgar and picks up Red and Cait.
T.OGRE: Just so I know, are these people using the world's biggest airship for trips across suburbs?
TBS: If he goes to sleep, I get his jacket.
EON: Deal.
T.OGRE: If I go to *what*?
> They then head for the Sector 5 chapel...
R.JAK: That little ghost of Aeris in the flower garden didn't help either.
SIG: Vegeta must be a real cheap bastard. That place is a dump.
> At the wedding...
>
> Aeris: (walking down the aisle) This is the happiest day
> of my life!
SIG: Which means that every other day is more painful than this. Ouch.
> Elmyra: You finally found a guy that respects you!
T.OGRE: Vegeta? Respecting women? What kind of bizzare
otherworld IS this, anyway?
SAMAS: Ah, showin' the respect.
TBS: You gotta respect the Aeris!
SAMAS: R!
SIG: E!
R.JAK: S!
SAMAS: P!
TBS: S!
ALL: .......
SAMAS: Snotling, what the fuck is wrong with you!?
TBS: I got confused.
[A pause.]
R.JAK: *Elmyra*? *Who* the *f--
T.OGRE <cutting in>: Relative of Joe.
R.JAK <calming down>: Oh. Okay.
[Another moment's pause. Smoke begins to filter out through R.JAK's ears as he appears to suddenly realize something.]
T.OGRE <cutting in again>: You asked about Joe before.
R.JAK: Did I get an answer?
T.OGRE: I believe not.
R.JAK: My brain is on fire.
[TBS dumps a glass of water on his head. The smoke dissipates, leaving a wet R.JAK.]
R.JAK: Thanks. I think.
TBS: You're Welcome!
> Bulma: I can't believe my ex-husband would marry such a
> ditz!
> Trunks: Daddy said you were the ditz!
> Bulma: WHAT!?!?!? How dare he calls me that!!!
EON: Why? Because it's true?
R.JAK: HEY! Take that back!
SAMAS: Meet Trunks. Trunks is a shit disturber.
> Vegeta: (in Cid's tuxedo; looks over at Cid) This thing is
> f**kin' tight!
> Cid: Too bad!
> Nappa: You look funny, Vegeta!!
> Vegeta: Shut up, Nappa!! And how in the hell did you come
> back to life!?!?
TBS: Plot contrivance?
R.JAK: Grotty, there is no such thing as...
> Nappa: With an Instant Plot Device, just add water,
> Vegeta!!
R.JAK: Okay, maybe there is.
SIG: I hate my life.
R.JAK: I second that.
> Vegeta: Shut up, Nappa!! Your a sorry excuse for a
> saiyan!!
> Nappa: Don't be so mean to me, Vegeta!
SAMAS: Ah, shut up and put something over those speedos, manbeef.
> (As Aeris walked by, Tifa steps on the back of her wedding
> dress, exposing.....er....you get the point)
T.OGRE: We do?
R.JAK: It says we do.
EON: If THEY say it, it must be true.
SIG: Yes, we get the point although it is unclear...
TBS: Maybe it's the breasts. You know..."point"?
SAMAS: Yes...has to be the breasts.
> Aeris: I'm gonna kill you Double-D!
> Sephiroth: No! I'm gonna kill
> yooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu! (falls out of the tree and
> onto the wedding cake)
TBS <Sephiroth>: I shall kill you via a SWANTON BOMB TO YOUR DESSERT! BWA HA HA!
[EON blinks]
SAMAS: What?
EON: For a minute there, I thought he popped *out* of the wedding cake.
> Cloud: Sephiroth!
> Cait Sith: What the f**k are you doing here?
R.JAK <Sephiroth>: Would you belive... the flower arrangements?
> Sephiroth: Fulfilling what I was bargined to do.....KILL
> AERIS! SCREW TIFA!
SAMAS: AND KEEP COOL WITH COOLIDGE!
> Vegeta: Kill Areis!?
> Cloud: Screw Tifa!?
> Vegeta: How dare you threaten Aeris!!!!!!!!
> Cloud: How dare you hit on Tifa!!!!!!!!!!
TBS: How dare you use up all the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!