"Yuffie," part nine! It's back and with a "vengence!"
by
> At the base of the tower...
>
> Vegeta: What crappy decorations! I bet a donkey's @$$
> fairy boy's house has better decorations in it then this!
> Red XIII: It probably has no decorations!
> Link: Stop making fun of me!
> Vegeta: It's at least better than this s**t Canon Dork put
> in here!
> Red XIII: You have a point there...
> Cloud: It even smells bad!
> Barret: It's comin' from da' foo' Cid!!!
> Cid: Hey! I do not smell! (takes a cookie and eats it)
> Dav: Where did you get those cookies!?!?
> Cid: They were laying beside a dead b***h so I took them!
> Dav: You moron! Look at the expiration date on the bottom
> of the package!
> Cid: (looks on the bottom of the package) It says... eat
> before September 1967. Ah crap! They're spoiled!
> Cloud: No s**t, Sherlock!
> Goku: I thought you knew they were spoiled!
> Cid: How would I know!?!?!?!?!? I don't look at the
> packages!
> Link: Don't feel too bad. I don't either.
> Cid: Go to hell, fairy boy!
> Link: (goes down the stairs and lifts up the huge stone
> blocking the light section entrance) Hey look guys! I can
> pick this up!
> Tifa: (sarcastically) Yeah...
> Vincent: Your special now...
> Link: Yeah I know!
> (in the tower)
> Chase: Dammit, Recoom! Can't you go one flight of stairs
> without falling?
> Recoom: No... (gets up but falls down the stairs again)
> WAHHHH!
> Chase: (dodges Recoom by inches) Goddammit! You almost
> flattin' me!!!!
> Recoom: Sorry... It hard for me...
> Chase: Dude, shut up! I hear voices coming from outside of
> the tower!
> Recoom: Look Chase! They're people outside of the tower!
> Chase: What the hell is that one gay @$$ elf doing holding
> up that huge stone!?!?
> Recoom: I don't like elves Chase! Every Christmas they
> kidnap you, take you up on their airplane and put metal
> sticks up your butt!
> Chase: Those are the visitors you retard, and they fly
> spaceships, not planes!!!!
> Recoom: Oh, then what are elves?
> Chase: Elves are those tiny little people with pointy ears
> that dance around and spank their own @$$s!!!!!!
> Recoom: Oh, I get the difference! I always get confused
> between those two!!!!
> Chase: Remind me to send you to Rehab when this job's
> done!
> Recoom: Uh, okay Chase, I will!
> Chase: Shut up and let's listen to what these people have
> to say!
> (back down at the base of the tower)
> Zelda: Stop being a damn showoff you stupid d**k!
> Link: I'm doing it for you, baby cakes!
> Dav: Man!!! Link likes Zelda! Now I can't get a date with
> her!
> Zelda: What did you say?
> Dav: I said Link can go suck a cow's @$$!!!!!
> Link: Hey!
> Zelda: (in disappointment) Oh... well yes, he can.
> Link: HEY!!!!
> Vegeta: You can drop it now! You've proven your invisible
> point!
> Link: What's that mean?
> Red XIII: It means you haven't proven your point.
> Cloud: No s**t, Sherlock!
> Cid: I want some goddamn tea!!!! I want some goddamn
> hash!!!! I wanna watch the goddamn Dukes!!!
> Vincent: Mind if you keep your speech down?
> Cid:Shut the hell up! Your tarts suck and so does your
> girlfriend!!!!
> Vincent: Grrrrrrrrrrr... DON'T EVER INSULT MY TARTS
> AGAIN!!!!!!!!! (turns into Chaos)
> Cid: Oh s**t!!!!! (runs like hell)
> Vincent: Whahahahahahahaha! I'll teach you to respect my
> tarts!
> Cid: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
> (back in the tower)
> Recoom: I hate tarts! They taste like s**t!
> Chase: Let's take this opportunity to attack while they're
> still arguing!
> Recoom: I ate tarts once while I was watching soap operas!
> They tasted like cat poop! I hate tarts! They suck!
> Chase: OK!! You've made your point! Now shut up and let's
> get going! (jump out of the window)
> (at the base of the tower)
> Vincent: Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I shall chop of your
> wee wee!
> Cid: Noooooo! Not my wee wee!!!!!!!!
> Cloud: Knock it off you two! You guys are starting to piss
> me off!!!!
> Vincent and Cid: ....Sorry....
> Aeris: You better be!!!
> Link: Hey guys, I can't hold this thing much longer! You
> think you could give me a hand here?
> Goku: You lifted it up, you put it down!
> Link: But I'll drop it on myself!!!!
> Barret: At least we'd get some peace an' quiet!!!!
> (suddenly Chase comes down and chops the block to pieces
> with his super dildo)
> Chase: Stop right there, imposters!!!!! I can't allow you
> to go any further!!
> Dav: Who are you guys!?!?!?
> Chase: My name is... CHASE!!! (does his gay dance)
> Recoom: My name is Recoom, it rhymes with doom and you'll
> be hurting all too soon! Surly, I am a man of many
> talents!!! (does his gay dance)
> Chase: We are...
> Chase and Recoom: THE GINYU FORCE!!!! (does another gay
> dance)
> Link: What s**tty dancing!
> Zelda: Yeah, Ganondorf could do his victory dance better
> than that!!!
> Recoom: Hahahahahahaha!!! That little elf just said our
> dancing sucked!!!
> Chase: We don't like people insulting our dancing!!
> Recoom, she may be a big breasted hotty, but you know the
> rules... anyone who insults our dancing...DIES!!! One more
> thing, if you don't finish her in five seconds, no TV for
> another week!
> Recoom: Oh okay! I like soap operas!!!
> Cid: You faggit!!!!!
> Recoom: Your next after the hotty!!!
> Cid: (sarcastically) Whoa! I'm so scared that Smoking Joe
> Camel on my cigarette carton is gonna run away!!!
> Recoom: Shut up! (turns to Zelda) This outta be fun!
> Hahahahahaha!!! (charges at Zelda)
> Zelda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
> Link: ZELDA!!! (jumps in front of her)
> Zelda: Link, NO!!!!!
> Recoom: This is my Recoom boom! (rams Link right through
> the wall, sending him flying out the castle)
> Zelda: L-I-N-K!!!!!!!
> Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh......!!!!!!!!
> Zelda: L-----I-----N-----K!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Recoom: Now I call that... THE MISSING LINK!!
> Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!
> Red XIII: That was pretty corny!! (starts licking himself)
> Cloud: No s**t, Sherlock!!!!
> Barret: Ya' disgusting crossbreed! Why da' ya' lick
> yourself!!
> Red XIII: 'Cause I can!!!!!!
> Dav: I can't believe it!!! The fairy boy had enough
> courage to risk himself for Zelda!!!
> Cid: Amazing!!! Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go
> outside and have a smoke!
> Recoom: Hahahahahahaha! Your not going anywhere!!!
> (charges at Cid)
> Cid: Oh s**t!!!!
> Zelda: Oh no you don't!! (counters Recoom's charge with a
> kick in the nuts)
> Recoom: Ohhhh..... that.... hurt.....
> Zelda: I'll make you pay for what you did to Link you
> #%$$#&$@@$@&@$&@$@$@$@$@%@$
> ^%#@$&$#$^**#%&@%@#%&&@$&@$@&$@$535w447fv46D#U^D%FF%&%#@^%*@@%^24247@&@$&&@$@&^&$^%#**#&%#%*%#Ggfg(*&$$($(^^((^%)&%^%($%?%%^&$??#*$((*&*)%&$$@@#%^*))_*&
> ^$^%@@$$@#%^*&*(^)(^%I$#%@$#!$@#%%^#VCVC ^%^%^#$%$^^%^%%c
> c67CV$*$$^$$^*$^$^$^$^ %&$$$64646^&^$($^($^($^1!!!!!!
> (beats the living crap out of Recoom)
> Tifa: Whoa! Zelda pulled another Cid!!!!
> Zelda: (jumps up in the air) And now to finish you off!
> PRINCESS CANON FLARE!!!
>
> Zelda fires her newly learned skill down at Recoom. The
> blast blows Recoom right through the floor and through the
> rock the castle is standing on, plumming him into the
> fiery pits below.
>
> Recoom: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (dies)
> Cid: Ah s**t! That was close! But at least Smokin' Joe is
> still here!!!
> Smoking Joe Camel: That's what you think! I got so scared
> I peed my pants! I'm outta here! (runs away)
> Cid: Ah, fudge you, you stupid camel!! Run home to your
> mommy, you coward!!!! (throws his cigarette carton on the
> ground and starts stomping it)
> Smoking Joe Camel: I'm not gonna see my mommy! I'm going
> to Disneyworld!
> Cid: You b*****d!!!
> Vegeta: Who are you talking to!?!?
> Cid: (sarcastically) I'm talking to my crotch! Hi Mr.
> Crotch! I see your not doing very well today! Are you
> sick? Well, Uncle Cid will take care of you!!!
> Vegeta: Why are you telling your crotch to run home and
> calling him a coward!?!?!?!?
> Cid: I wasn't talking to my crotch you moron!
> Vegeta: Shut up you retarded dips**t!!!
> Cloud: Both of you shut up! We'll resolve this with a game
> of Goldeneye but right now we have to kick this guy's
> sorry @$$!!!
> Dav: Let's go!!!!
> Chase.......
> Barret: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaha! Da' foo' is scared
> stiff!
> Goku: He's probably afraid Zelda will kick his butt like
> she did to Recoom!
> Red XIII: Whatta chicken!
> Chase: That's not it!!! I'm still amazed that this women
> defeated a person with a power level over 5000 times of
> hers!!!!
> Vincent: Amazing things happen... you can't explain it...
> Everyone: SHUT UP, VINCENT!!!!
> Vincent: Oh....poopy....
> Chase: Well then, I see I have no choice but to kill this
> hot, sexy women and rape her dead body with my dildo!
> UURRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! (charges at Zelda, swinging his
> dildo around)
> Zelda: Oh s**t, not again!!!
> Chase: Prepare to feel the wrath... OF THE MIGHTY DILDO!!!
> Hahahaha!
> Dav: Go smack your grandma you pervert! (blocks Chase and
> knocks him to the ground)
> Chase: Ah s**t! That actually hurt!
> Dav: Is that all you got!?!?!?
> Chase: I'm just warming up! (charges at Dav)
> Aeris: Sorry bucko, but your dildo days are through!
> (grabs the dildo from Chase and breaks it in half)
> Chase: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY DILDO! MY DILDO! MY
> PRECUIOS DILDO!! It's gone! It's gone! I can't believe
> it's gone! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
> Tifa: Now women everywhere can rejoice! (does her chain of
> limit breaks on Chase)
> Chase: I'll be back... and next time... WITH A MORE
> POWERFUL DILDO!! (dies)
> Cid: That takes care of those @$$ monkeys!!!!
> Goku: Not quite... there's still Captain Ginyu and two
> others!
> Vegeta: The other two aren't here, Kakaraught! They're at
> the nieghborhood K-Mart on the other side of town!!!!
> Barret: Dis' town has da' K-Mart!?!?!?!?
> Cid: ALL RIGHT!!! FREE PARKING!
> Cloud: Calm down you horny brutes! We still have a mission
> to complete!!!
> Red XIII: And how many times has that line been said
> through out this fic?
> Cloud: I dunno, probably a billion or something!
> Vincent: I suggets we split into two groups...
> Zelda: Good idea! Goku, Dav, Cloud, Tifa, Vegeta and Aeris
> will go up the tower while Red XIII, Vincent, Barret, Cid
> and I...
> Link: (stumbles into the room) Wait...for...me... oh
> my....@$$...
> Zelda: LINK! YOUR ALIVE!!!!
> Link: That's right! I'm back and with a vengence!!
> Zelda: Your my hero, Link!! I PROMISE you and I will make
> hot love tonight!!
> Link: WHOO! HOOOO! YEAH BABY!!!
> Dav: (all heartbroken) Oh poopy...
> Zelda: Your coming with us to get the dragon balls from
> the water section of the castle! Let's split up gang!
> Freddy: (from Scooby Doo) Hey! That's my line! Let's split
> up gang!
> Cloud: Why did the author have to put a s**tty character
> in this fic!?!?
> AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'Cause I can! And besides, I like Scooby
> Doo but hate Freddy! If you guys want, you can kill him!
> That's why I put him in the fic!
> Cid: Ah cool!!!!
> Red XIII: I'll vaporize him with my Ultra sonic vaporizing
> fart canon blast!!!
> Barret: I'll blow da' damn foo's brains out!?!?!?
> Freddy: Oh crap...
> Dav: Ready Cloud?
> Cloud: Yep, die fruitcake!!! (all of them gang up on
> Freddy and he dies)
> Tifa: That was fun!! Thanks Dave! You've helped me let out
> a lot of stress!
> AUTHOR'S NOTE: No problem! Back to the fic!!!
>
> Zelda and her party head for the water section of the
> castle while Goku and his party head for the tower to
> defeat Captain Ginyu, Scarlet and Yuffie. Meanwhile in the
> water part of the castle...
>
> Cid: Damn! It's freezing in here!
> Red XIII: (sarcastically) Really? I thought it was 200
> degrees in here!
> Link: Well if you think that there's something wrong with
> your body temperature!!!
> Red XIII: Shows how stupid you are, fairy boy!!!!!!!
> Link: Hey! Shut the hell up!
> Zelda: Watch your step!!! It's slippery!!!
> Vincent: Thanks for the warning.... AHHHHHH! (slips and
> slams into a wall)
> Barret: Hahahahahahahahahaha! Da' foo'
> slllliiiiipppppppeeeeedddd!! (slips and slams into a wall)
> Link: Whatta bunch of wienies... WAHHHHHH! (slips and
> slams into the ice cicle wall covering the blue flame)
> Red XIII: (sees falling icicles) INCOMING!!!!!!
> Cid: Ah crap!
> Barret: (icicle goes up his @$$) AHHHHHHH! Da' icicle went
> up ma' @$$!!!
> Cid: Serves ya' right you goddamn monkey!!!!
> Barret: Tea drinkin' faggit!!!!!!
> Zelda: Enough! Both of you!
> Barret: (getting up and holding his @$$) Hey look! It's a
> treasure chest!
> Zelda: Don't open that chest!!!!
> Barret: Why not? Is da' boogie man gonna jump out and
> attack me?
> Zelda: NO BARRET!!!!
> Cid: Just let'em! It's the only way he can learn!
> Barret: Shuddap foo'! (opens the chest) AHHHHHH! (gets
> frozen)
> Cid: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Now it's a
> monkey popsicle!!!
> Zelda: I tried to worn him...
> Link: Stuff happens!
> Cid: Damn! Again! Stop sayin' like a wimp! Can't you say
> "S**t happens!" instead!?!?!?!?!?!?
> Link: S**t happens!
> Cid: That's better!!!!!
> Barret: Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
> Red XIII: It looks like he cussing you out, Cid.
> Cid: Ah let'em! He ain't gonna do a thing about it!
> Zelda: I'll thaw him!!!
> Cid: Can't you wait another five hours or so!?!?!? I'm
> enjoying my time without that f**kin' monkey cussing me
> out or taking the remote away from me when I wanna watch
> the Dukes!!!
> Zelda: I'm gonna thaw him out, so live with it!!!
> Cid: Oh crap!