"Yuffie," part ten and last! There are no winners... only survivors.
by
> Zelda thaws Barret out of the ice...
>
> Barret: Dat's better! Thanks, Zelda!
> Zelda: Don't mention it!!!!
> Link: What else could go wrong!?!?
> Dark Link: (appears out of nowhere) Ah ha! You have
> returned for a re-match against me! Mwahahahahahaha!!!
> Link: Dark Link!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What the hell are you doing
> here!?!?!?
> Dark Link: Isn't it obvious, Captain Obvious? I've been
> assigned to guard the dragon balls for the hot sexy leader
> of the Gerudos, Scarlet!
> Cid: Oh brother...
> Link: Go back to the Water Temple where you belong!!!!
> Dark Link: What if I don't want to? It'll be hard for you
> to defeat me because I can mimic every move you do!!!!!
> Link: Oh yeah? Can you mimic this?
> Dark Link: What?
> Link: (grabs Zelda and starts singing) Swing your partner
> 'round and 'round! Pick her up and throw her down! (picks
> her up between the legs and throws her down)
> Zelda: Oh Link!
> Link: (grabs Zelda's arms and continues singing) Slap your
> knees! Slap your thighs! Slap her @$$ then she'll slap
> mine! (songs done)
> Zelda: (slaps Link's @$$)
> Link: Spank it harder, baby!!!
> Dark Link: Oh, okay, you found out I can't mimic you when
> you sing gay songs and do gay dances!
> Link: Then go the hell! (beats the living s**t out of Dark
> Link with the Megaton Hammer)
> Dark Link: Oh.... poopy.... (dies)
> Red XIII: Now that that b.s. is over with, let's get the
> dragon balls!
>
> Zelda's party heads into the next room. Meanwhile in the
> tower...
>
> Captain Ginyu: Listen, you half cent whore! I'll only pay
> 400 Rupees and nothing more!!!!!
> Scarlet: Well, I want 100,000 Rupees and not one less!!!!
> Captain Ginyu: Well go smack a dog!
> Scarlet: Go smack a pecan tree!
> Captain Ginyu: Go smack DiCrapio's mama!
> Scarlet: Go smack Winslut's dad!
> Cait Sith: (spits the grenade out) Why don't they just
> both shut the hell up!?!?!?
> Yuffie: Magnet stick on! Magnet stick off! Magnet stick
> on... (shoves the grenade back in Cait's mouth)
> Cait Sith: Mmmmmmm!!!!!
> Yuffie: What? I can't hear you!?!?!?
> Scarlet: Yuffie! Gimmie your weapon! I'm gonna teach this
> guy a lesson on what happens when you mess with the
> Gerudos!!!!!
> Yuffie: Oh okay! (hands Scarlet her bra)
> Scarlet: Not your bra, you retard, your Conformer!!!
> Yuffie: No way! It's MY Conformer!
> Scarlet: Give it here now!!!
> Yuffie: No way! I won't let you take it!
> Scarlet: Hey Yuffie look! The Backstreet Boys are over
> there drooling over you!
> Yuffie: WHERE!?!?!? WHERE!?!?!?
> Scarlet: (grabs the Conformer) Stupid b***h! You'll fall
> for anything won't ya!!
> Yuffie: I'm not a b***h!
> Scarlet: Die Captain Poopoo! (swings the Conformer at
> Captain Ginyu)
> Captain Ginyu: (breaks the Conformer into five pieces)
> Yuffie: My Conformer! It's broken! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
> Dav: (gets up the stairs first) Take it like the b***h you
> are, Yuffie!
> Captain Ginyu: Who are you!?!?!?
> Scarlet: Wha...wha...what's going on here!?!?
> Yuffie: YOU!?!?!?!? You call yourself a thief! I'm the
> best thief on this planet!
> Dav: First off, I'm a TREASURE hunter and second, a
> two-year old is better at stealing then you'll ever be,
> materia b***h!
> Cloud: That's telling her, Dav!!!
> Yuffie: Why you little... I'll finish you off! ALL
> CREATION!!!!
> Dav: (deflects it and it hits Scarlet in the pussy)
> Scarlet: (makes a groaning noise then dies)
> Yuffie; How did you deflect that!?!? That was my strongest
> move!!!
> Dav: Weak moves for a weak b***h!! You would be stronger
> if you hadn't spent so much time stealing materia!!!
> Yuffie: You'll still fall at the hands of the mighty
> Yuffie!!
> Dav: I don't think so, weak b***h! JUSTICE SLASH!!!!!
> Yuffie: AHhHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (gets sliced up into 20 pieces
> and dies)
> Cloud: Alright Dav!!!!
> Cait Sith: That's the way to kick a materia whore's
> @$$!!!!
> Vegeta: That was cool!!!
> Captain Ginyu: Vegeta!?!?!?!?
> Vegeta: Well, if it ain't Captain Ginyu of the GAYU
> FORCE!! Hahaahahaha!
> Captain Ginyu: Frieza will be thrilled to see your ugly
> face alive again!!!
> Vegeta: I see Freezer's become even more gay and stupid
> then before!!!!
> Captain Ginyu: Your totally wrong...
> Vegeta: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
> Captain Ginyu: What's so funny!?!?
> Vegeta: I see you peed your pants!!!
> Captain Ginyu: Oh crap... I did!!!!
> (everyone laughs at him)
> Captain Ginyu: Stop laughing at me!!!
> (everyone continues to laugh)
> Captain Ginyu: That's it! I'm gonna get out of here but
> I'll return and get my revenge on all of you!!!!
> Goku: What a wuss!!!!
> Tifa: (unties Cait) Hey Cait, why the hell are you eating
> a grenade?
> Cait Sith: (takes the grenade out of his mouth and being
> sarcastic) Well since I was starving to death, I said to
> myself "Cait, if you don't eat something, your gonna die,"
> so I found a grenade and I was trying to eat it!
> Tifa: (shoves the grenade back into his mouth) That's
> nice! Now eat up!
> Cait Sith: (takes it back out) Some people are just plain
> f**kin' stupid!!!
> Vegeta: Let's go get my dragon balls back!!!
>
> Captain Ginyu flies off but in mid-air, gets hit by an
> on-coming comet. The comet smashes him through Zora's
> Domain and it collides, melting the ice there...
>
> King Zora: It's about time this place melted!!!! Ruto,
> push your old man in the water!!!!
> Ruto: I don't know, dad. I kinda' liked it frozen. I mean
> it was so peaceful and still.
> King Zora: Dammit, Ruto! Just push me into the water and
> then go to your room! No Discovery Channel for you
> tonight!!!
> Ruto: Ah crap!! (pushes King Zora over the edge)
> King Zora: (lands on an ice block) Ack! I'm getting too
> old for this!!
>
> Back at the castle...
>
> Zelda: We got the dragon balls back guys! Our mission is
> complete!
> Cloud: Plus we got all of our other stuff back!!
> Cait Sith: And I'm FINALLY free!!!!
> Vegeta: As a reward for all of you helping me retrieve my
> dragon balls, I'll allow for you to each get one wish!!
> Goku: Sorry, Vegeta, but I have to get back to my wife and
> Gohan. (looks at Vegeta's watch) Oh s**t! I'm 10 hours
> late for dinner! Well I'll see you all around some time!
> Bye!
> Zelda: Bye! Hey, Link, we should also be getting going!
> Dav: Must you leave so early?
> Zelda: I have a promise to fulfill! C'mon Link!!!!
> Link: Yeah baby!!!!!!
> Zelda: Bye!!!! (warps off to Link's house)
> Vincent: I, too, must go.
> Cid: Where are you going?
> Vincent: I have.... an errand to run.... I should be back
> by tonight... (flies off)
> Aeris: Where is going?
> Cloud: He better not go to that old guy's tool shed again!
> Last time we got a call a demon was in there doing the
> "whack a whack a ding dong" moaning out Yuffie's name!!!!
> Tifa: Eeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
> Cait Sith: Well, I'm all for a caviar dinner so let's
> mosey.
> Cid: Damn! Again! Stop sayin' it like a wimp! Can't you
> say...
> Red XIII: We get the point already!!!
>
> While AVALANCHE and Vegeta made their way to the nearest
> caviar resturant, an alien ship was flying through the
> solar system...
>
> Visitor 1: Prepare for anal incision!
> Visitor 2: (opens up the butt crack) Eeeeewwwwwww!! It's
> infested!!!!
> Joe: (looking at a Playboy) Sweeeeeeeet!!!!!
> Visitor 2: God, if only I was a security guard for the
> Toys R Us back on our homeworld, I wouldn't have to stare
> up alien butt cracks!
> Joe: Sweeeeeeet!!! (flips the page and farts)
> Visitor 1: Ah s**t!! I almost stabbed myself with the anal
> probe!!!!
> Visitor 2: Just shut up and shove it up there!!!!
> Joe: Sweeeeeeeeetttttt!!!!
>
> In the now peaceful kingdom of Hyrule...
>
> Guy 1: Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Oh we've been saved!
> Guy 2: It's a miracle!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
> Vincent: (in Chaos form) Don't think your safe yet!! I
> am..... CHAOS!!!!
> Guy 1: Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Oh no! Run before we
> die!! Hahahahaha!!!
> Vincent: You shall not escape the wrath of.... CHAOS!!!
> Mwhahahahahahahaha!!!
> Guy 2: Hahahahahahahaha!!! We're gonna die!!!
> Guy 1: (gets his head ripped off by Chaos)
> Guy 2: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh no my head's gonna
> get ripped off also!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
> Vincent: You shall be slaughtered along with many gay
> people in this crappy kingdom of Hyrule!!!!
>
> Back at Tifa's Seventh Heaven, Vegeta has summoned the
> dragon so everyone can make their wish...
>
> Dragon: I am the Eternal Dragon. You have summoned me,
> therefore, you get one wish.
> Vegeta: I wish for a better sex life with Aeris!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Aeris: Yeah baby!!!!
> Barret: I wish I could beat Cloud and Vegeta in Goldeneye!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Cloud: I wish Barret would shut up, sit down and eat
> tacos!!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Barret: (sitting down and starts eating tacos) You foo'
> Cloud!
> Cait Sith: I wish for a lifetime supply of caviar!!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted. (dozens of huge
> barrels appear behind him)
> Red XIII: I wish that everyone who calls me a crossbreed
> would get constipated for a month!!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Paperboy: Message for a "Mr. Crossbreed!"
> Red XIII: Curses of steal! With a caviar meal! Give this
> worker of the nation! A month of constipation!!!
> Paperboy: What are you talking.... AHH!!! My stomach!!!! I
> need to poop!!!!!! (runs to the bathroom)
> Tifa: I wish that Cloud and I would have passionate love
> with me every night for the rest of our lives!!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Cloud: Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!
> Dav: I wish that Yuffie will never be able to be wished
> back to this dimension ever again!!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted.
> Cid: I want chicken! I want liver! Meow mix! Meow mix!
> Please deliver!!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted. (hears a door bell)
> Aeris: I'll get it!!! (opens the door)
> Delivery Guy: Yeah, I'm hear to deliver some chicken,
> liver and two boxes of Meow mix to a Mr. Highwind. That'll
> be 2000 gil!!!!
> Aeris: Oh Cid!!!!!!!
> Cid: Wait a second! That wasn't my wish! I wish for Kate
> Winslit to come back!!
> Dragon: You've already made a wish.
> Cid: (flicks off the dragon)
> Dragon: (blows fire at Cid and burns his @$$ up)
> Cid: Owwwwwww!! M'kay?
> Cloud: Here's your money and I'll take the stuff!!!
> Delivery Guy: Thank you! (gets back in his crappy car)
> Aeris: I wish that my upcoming birth will be completely
> successful!
> Dragon: Your wish has been granted. Now I must depart.
> (the dragon disappears and the dragon balls, once again,
> are separated to the four corners of the earth)
> Cloud: Your gonna have a baby!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
> Aeris: Yep! I'm hoping ot's a girl!
> Cid: You better hope it doesn't have Fejita's brains OR
> looks!!!
> Vegeta: You goddamn piece of f**kin' s**t!!! I'll fry you
> to pieces.... at Goldeneye! C'mon Cloud!!!
> Cid: C'mon Barret, let's kick these guy's sorry @$$s....
> Barret?
> Barret: Not now foo'! I'm still eatin' tacos!!!!
>
> THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>