[...and ironically, right after I posted on Ballad 1 about not being able to be here for a while, my condition started looking up. "Bob" told me about Give Up Training, but I keep having to be reminded of its efficacy over and over. -z]
> G
S.D. <G-Man>: It'sssss time to choose, Missssster Freeman...
> I awoke slowly - more so than usual - and spent an
> inordinate amount of time sorting out the memories of the previous
> day.
MMK <Gryphon>: Oh crap, I forgot to turn off the oven!
> Two fights, a big meal and a lengthy carouse.
RACE: Walk into a bar...
> OK... oh Christ,
GAVOK <Jesus>: I gave you a win over Ryu! Stop bugging me!
> did I really say that to Janet?
TBS <Gryphon>: All your base are belong to us!
> I hope she doesn't remember it.
RACE <Janet>: "Carouse?" Nobody carouses anymore; it just isn't cool.
> A quick systems check indicated that I'd managed to escape a
> hangover, which was good. In fact, I felt pretty good for a guy who'd
> had the proverbial stuffing kicked out of him the day before. That's
> what comes of being drubbed by a considerate professional.
ARL: Sure he was beaten senseless, but it was a *polite* beating, damn it!
> I pulled on a clean T-shirt and a pair of decently unratty
> shorts, brushed my teeth, and prowled into the living room, expecting
> to find the last of our guests gone and the house quiet again.
> Instead, I found
GAVOK: --Charlie wearing a lampshade on his head. Ironically, it looked more normal than his haircut.
> Sakura Kasugano, who was just in the process of
> pulling the drawstring on her duffel bag shut. As I entered the room,
> Zoner, who was standing near the corner, shot me one of those warning
> looks,
MMK <Zoner>: Psst! Fangirl clogged the toilet!
> though the reason didn't register on me at the time.
> "Heading out?" I asked.
> "Yep," Sakura replied. "Ryu left before I got up - I have to
> get moving if I want to catch him."
S.D.: That's what you get for buying low-quality handcuffs.
RACE: ...okay, now do you mean that in a "Ryu's trapped by Sakura" way,
or a "Ryu and Sakura had kinky sex" way?
S.D.: Yes.
[S.D. smirks. RACE fumes.]
> "Catch him? You aren't going home?"
> Sakura snorted. "I wouldn't be welcome, not after coming all
> the way over here. Not that I care much anyway... it was time I got
> out of there."
> "You don't want to go back?" I asked, incredulous.
> "That's right," said Sakura, folding her arms and looking
> determined. "I don't want to go back."
>
MMK <Tom Servo as Spock>: I'm not going back, Jim.
> Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
> presents
>
> A Third Universe from the Right Production
> of a
> Straight On Till Morning Film
>
MMK <James T. Kirk>: I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky...
> STREET FIGHTER: WARRIOR'S LEGACY
>
> BATTLE 04: THE GREAT PLANE ROBBERY
>
> Benjamin D. Hutchins
> MegaZone
GAVOK: And Scott Baio as Chachi.
>
> with the gracious assistance of The Usual Suspects
> and a bit of cadging from Warehouse 23
> <http://www.sjgames.com/warehouse23/>
RACE <Gryphon>: ...and while I'm in the area, I might as well pick up a copy of "Munchkin."
ARL: That's... strangely apropos.
>
> (c) 1998 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
>
>
> "Wait a minute, what do you mean, you don't want to go back?
> You have to go back, it's your home!"
RACE <Gryphon>: You too good for your home!? ANSWER ME!
GAVOK <Sakura>: Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like
an animal. The jungle is my home. For fifteen years I have lived in
this-
ARL: Alright, that's enough.
> Zoner shot me a glare that said he wasn't buying that line,
> and doubted she would either.
> "No it isn't," she replied, her eyes dark and serious. "It's
> just a place where I used to sleep. Everything I really need is in
MMK <Ryan>: ...my pants.
> that bag.
S.D. <Gryphon>: Why is your duffle bag vibrating?
> I can take care of myself on the road... just like Ryu."
> "Won't your parents miss you?"
> Sakura snorted. "Not likely. My father would throw a party
> if I didn't come home. Half the time he doesn't even notice me, and
> the other half he wishes he had two sons."
ARL: Sean and Shingo.
RACE: He doesn't know how good he has it... to be blessed with such
a wonderful, wonderful daughter!
S.D.: Ooh, yeah, his daughter is the token fanservice for fat, pimply
American arcade hounds and lecherous Japanese salarymen! REAL prestigious...
RACE <twitching>: It's almost as if you *want* me to hurt you...
> "Well... " I paused, realized I was at a loss, and sighed,
> frustrated. "Look, you can't just hit the streets.
S.D. <Gryphon>: It'll break your hand.
> Even for someone
> with your skills, at your age it's just not safe."
> "So what do you care?"
> "You might just be surprised," Zoner interjected before
> Sakura's look made him think the better of getting in the middle of
> this one.
> "I don't want you to get hurt, believe it or not!" I replied,
> then paused again, trying to calm down. I didn't want to lose my
> temper with her - that would just make her leave, and I really didn't
> want her to get hurt. She thought she was tough
enough to hack it,
GAVOK <Sakura>: 3y3 y4m 31337, d4mn j00!!!!!1!11
> and it's even possible she was, but it wouldn't be a pleasant
> experience for her either way.
> "Listen," I said after regaining control. "Will you at least
> let me call your folks? I can't imagine any parent not wanting their
> child to come home."
> She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, if you want, but I'm
> telling you, they -don't- want me back."
TBS <Sakura>: If you had a recipt, then maybe it would be a different story...
> "Dad's probably at work, go ahead and call him if
> you want. But you're wasting your time," she added.
> "Well," I replied, "it's my time to waste." I picked up the
> phone, dialed the number, punched the extension when a voicemail
> system answered, and hoped.
> "Kasugano," a man's voice answered, gruffly, after two rings.
> Ack. I hate opening phone conversations, and this one
> promised to be more awkward than most.
ARL: Particuarly since there wasn't even a "Moshi moshi" to start it off.
> >Er... hello, Mr. Kasugano,< I said, frantically dusting off
> my Japanese. I probably sounded like an idiot, but I've found that
> many Japanese will at least give you points for making the effort.
> >My name is Benjamin Hutchins, I'm calling you from the United
> States.<
> >Yes?< he replied, in a tone of voice that added, "Spit it
> out, I haven't got all day."
> >Ah... yes. Well, uh... This is kind of awkward, but... I,
> uh, I have your daughter here, and I'd like to send her home.<
GAVOK <Gryphon>: ...but I'm having trouble finding a box big enough...
> >If this is some kind of a joke - < Mr. Kasugano began, outrage
> creeping into his tone.
> >No joke, Mr. Kasugano,< I replied. >She turned up here
> Saturday evening, and... well, now she's at a bit of a loose end.<
> Zoner cringed a bit; I suppose I could have phrased that
> better.
> >You mean she's given up chasing after that lowlife street
> fighter?<
> I suppressed my natural reaction at such an unkind
> generalization, especially toward a friend of mine, and replied,
> >Uh... In a manner of speaking... <
> >What is -your- connection, then?< he snapped.
S.D. <Gryphon>: Cable modem, upgraded from a 56k a couple weeks ago.
> His peremptory tone was beginning to grate on me, so I'm
> afraid I was less than 99-44/100% smooth, replying dryly, >I'm the guy
> she came here to see that lowlife street fighter fight.<
> >I see,< he replied, his tone chilly. >And she's been staying
> with you?<
> >In my guest room,< I qualified, in case he was drawing -that-
> conclusion.
RACE: Don't even *joke* about that, you son of a-
S.D. <to ARL>: I love rabid fandoms, don't you?
> >Since Saturday evening, yes.<
> >I see,< he repeated, tone even colder. He paused, then
> replied flatly, >Then I wish you well of her. Good day.<
> I couldn't have been more shocked if somebody had cuffed me
> upside the head with a large-mouthed bass.
GAVOK: Care to test that theory?
[GAVOK holds up a large-mouth bass.]
ARL: Where'd you get that fish?
GAVOK: What fish?
[The bass disappears in a puff of smoke. ARL blinks.]
ARL: ...right.
> >Wa, wah, wait a minute,
> what?!< I blurted, managing to keep him from hanging up right away.
> >Sakura is no longer welcome in my home,< replied Mr. Kasugano
> flatly. >If you choose to take her into yours, then I hope for your
> sake she is more thoughtful of you than she was of her own family.
> Now, if you will excuse me, I am a very busy man.<
> >Hold it, hold it!< I replied. My Japanese, I noticed, was
> becoming smoother as I got more agitated - a good sign that I hadn't
> let it get too rusty between visits. >I don't know what issues you
> and your kids have, Mr. Kasugano,
TBS <Mr. Kasugano>: Well, she has a room full of _Nakayoshi_ and _Hana to Yume_, but I've a shelf of _Mister Magazine_ and _Shuman Gold_ -- um, you didn't hear that last bit.
> but it's none of my affair! She
> turned up on the eve of my fight with Ryu and I gave her a place to
> sleep because I'm not the kind of guy who puts little girls out in the
> street, but I'm not looking to adopt a kid just yet. She's your
> daughter - you can't just give her away!<
> >She has been a constant source of disappointment and anguish
> to me and to her mother,< Kasugano growled. >And YOU PEOPLE are to
> blame!
ARL: So if Remy had kids...
> You street fighters have made her what she is - now she is
> YOUR problem. Not mine! Not any more! I wash my hands of her. I
> have no daughter.<
RACE: So if Mojo Jojo had kids...
> >You can't DO that!<
> >Do not call me again,< said Kasugano flatly.
RACE <Kasugano>: The long-distance rates are a bitch and a half, lemme tell you.
> >Good day.<
> Click.
> I stared at the phone for several seconds in mute
> incomprehension, which gave way slowly to a wave of red-hot rage that,
> as it peaked, made me slam the phone into its cradle so hard the bell
> rang.
> "Son of a BITCH!"
GAVOK <phone>: Hey, man, I'm just the messenger.
> "That could have gone better," Zoner observed.
> "See?" said Sakura. "I told you."
> I looked at her, spread my hands helplessly. I had nothing to
> say to that. She picked up her bag with studied nonchalance, threw it
> over her shoulder, and headed for the door.
> "Well, so long. Thanks for everything."
> "Wait," I said, trotting across the kitchen to keep up with
> her. "Where will you go?"
MMK <Sakura>: To a place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so FLUFFY!
[*DING!*]
> "What do you care?" she replied.
> I shrugged, exasperated. "Call it a character flaw."
MMK: *gasp* Flaw? With Gryphon? Wow!
> I hadn't noticed Zoner beside me until he spoke. "We're just
> caring guys. Not everyone you meet is an asshole, just most. Call us
> crazy, but we worry about our friends. Even if we have just met."
> "The bus station, if you must know."
> "I see. How much money do you have?"
> "Umm... " She pulled out her change purse and counted.
> "Seven fifty-three."
S.D. <Gryphon as Peppermint Patty>: That's not a cash balance -- that's sarcasm!
> "Uh-huh. Well, you should be able to make it all the way
> to... oh... " I paused and looked thoughtful. "... the other side of
> the bus station parking lot or so, on that." She glared. "OK, let's
> take another tack on this. Where were you planning on catching a bus
> to, or had you worked that out yet?"
> She shrugged. "I dunno. Boston, maybe. Or New York."
> "To do what?"
[GAVOK opens his mouth.]
RACE: [glares] Don't push me.
MMK <Rap Master Binky>: --'cause I'm close to the edge. I've been reincarnated as a very small trimmed hedge.
[RACE facepalms.]
> "... I dunno, exactly. What does it matter? You don't want
> me here any more than my father wants me back."
> "Would you believe me if I told you that wasn't true?"
> Would -I-? Zoner's jaw was set, I took that to mean he agreed
> with my statement.
> She looked long and hard at me, and for a moment, I thought
> I'd really gotten through; but then her eyes narrowed stubbornly
GAVOK <Sakura>: Narrow.
TBS <eyes>: No!
GAVOK <Sakura>: Narrow, damn you!
TBS <eyes>: You're not the boss of me, bitch!
GAVOK <Sakura>: GODDAMNIT! DO IT!!
TBS <eyes>: Woah. Okay then.
ARL: We almost went an entire episode without that line, and you had to go stuff it up. Thanks SO much...
GAVOK, TBS: You're Welcome!
[ARL sighs and shakes his head sadly.]
> and
> she replied, "Yeah, as if. See you around."
> "All right, I won't try to stop you from leaving. But I don't
> think it's a good idea." I dug one of my cards out of my wallet and
> gave it to her.
RACE <Sakura>: Breast Inspector?
> "Keep this. If you need anything, call me anytime."
MMK <singing>: Just call 36-24-36, hey, I lead a life of crime!
> I wished I had some money to give her, too, but as it happened the
> previous evening's extravagance had left me cashless.
> She gave me a sidelong look.
> "Anytime," I repeated.
> She cracked the faintest hint of a smile. "OK, I'll take it.
> See you."
TBS <Bester>: Be seeing you. [gives Village salute]
> "Hold it," Zoner added. Sakura looked ready to fight if he
> tried to stop her; Zoner held up a hand to show he wasn't going to
> try. "Here, take this - and I won't take no for an answer. If you
> won't stay, you're going to let us help you somehow. There are few
> ways an attractive underage woman can make money; none are very
> pleasant."
RACE: Just what the hell are you saying? She wouldn't resort to... to...
MMK: ...working at McDonalds?
RACE: NO!
[pause]
RACE: Wait, what?
> With that he pressed a few bills into her hand. Looked
> like a couple of hundred.
> I showed her out, and as the door closed, I turned and slumped
> against it, looking at Zoner.
> "She'll be back," he said simply, and went to his room.
> "Christ," I muttered.
MMK <Gryphon>: Jesus, you've been sleeping on our couch for way too long!
>
> Twenty minutes later, I was sitting in the den, staring
> morosely out the picture window at the rain and thinking bleak
> thoughts.
> Considering the luck of the draw. My parents love me,
> although they don't really understand me or my need to do what I do.
MMK <Gryphon>: I can't help it if I love interpretive dance!
> My mother doesn't approve, but she would never turn her back on me.
> Even if the unthinkable were to happen, I'm out on my own, fairly
> well-established, with a sizable nest egg in the bank and a good
> income from the interest. Wipe that out and I'm left with a network
> of friends, good friends, all around the globe. What did Sakura have?
> A pretty good grasp of something resembling Shotokan karate, a handful
> of money, a passport and my telephone number.
GAVOK: ...and karma. Lots and lots of karma.
> I couldn't help but feel that I had done the wrong thing
> letting her walk out of the house like that... but if she didn't want
> to stay, it was hardly right to make her...
> ... wasn't it?
> I sighed, turned away from the window and lay down on the
> couch, draping an arm over the side to scratch Fury's ears. He made a
> contented noise and leaned a little closer to the sofa.
MMK: Well, at least Fury's happy.
THE LOONS: Yay Fury.
> I couldn't imagine how it must feel to be a teenaged girl
> abandoned by her family, all alone in the world.
> But that didn't stop me from trying...
TBS <Gryphon>: Hey Zoner, can you go buy me a skirt and women's underwear? I want to try something.
> I sighed again and got up, cursing under my breath. Zoner
> looked up from the kitchen table, where he was perusing his newest
> issue of "Popular Mechanics", as I passed through the room, muttering
> darkly and pulling on my outback oilskin, Fury trotting at my heels.
> "Can't leave it alone, can you?" he said matter-of-factly.
> "No," I replied, grabbing the matching hat from the hatstand by
> the door. "I can't."
> "Me neither," said Zoner, standing up and dropping the
> magazine. "I'll drive."
GAVOK <Gryphon>: What do you mean you'll drive? You can't even hold a magazine right!