The totally true story of two twelve year old boys in love.
by
> Chapter 4: Arrival at Tung So Super Center
VID: To take care of all your shopping needs!
MARK: Fifty percent off all this weekend!
> The next day, after transporting from Switzerland, Chris arrived in
>front of the Tung So Karate Super Center.
>
> "Private eye Chris eh?" asked Zborfsky. "You can't get any more
>ridiculous than with this disguise."
MARK: You can try wearing a bag over your head with one eyehole cut out.
GAVOK: It works particularly well for doctors.
> "Quiet Zborfsky, we're not here on a pleasure trip, you know," said
>Chris a bit annoyed.
TBS <Zborfsky>: Well, maybe *you*'re not.
>"I didn't want to come here.
MMK <Zborfsky>: I didn't want to come here at all. We *never* go where I want to go. You said that this time we could go to the Bahamas but NOOOO you have to go off on your save the world kick again! It's times like this I wish we had a prenump! [stamps foot]
>Master Sema's students are hated here, you know."
VID <Chris>: Unless it's just me they hate, but what are the odds of that?
> "Ah, Chris, Master So will still talk to you," said >Zborfsky. "Just watch out for the manly attitudes >from some of the other instructors."
TBS <Zborfsky>: And when you're in the shower, remember not to drop the soap!
> "You're right, Zborfsky," said Chris, as they >approached the Tung So Karate Super Center.
TBS: Zborfsky is *always* right!
>
>
> "We'd like to speak to Master Tung So please," said >Chris to the receptionist.
>
> "Master So will not speak to a member of Master >Sema's school," said the receptionist. "I'd advise >you leave immediately."
TBS <Chris>: Ah well. Guess we'll just cancel the adventure and go home.
MARK <Zborfsky>: Good thing too. I'm not sure if I locked the door or not.
> "Tell him Chris is here, to speak about Dann >Zenretsu," said Chris. "I'm not here on a pleasure >trip."
MMK <Zborfsky>: Yeah, you just *said* that like thirty *seconds* ago--
TIFF <Chris>: Quiet!
> The intercom rang, "Renee, send him back. It's OK," said a voice.
[A pause.]
VID <Master So>: Wait... I was supposed to wait for you to call me on the intercom before I spoke, right?
MARK <receptionist>: *Sigh* We've been through this scene for ten times now!
VID <Master So>: Right, right... I'll get it this time.
> "I don't know why he wishes to speak with you, but >the master said it's OK. You can go on back."
>
> Master So came forward to the desk, "Hello, I'm >Master So," he said bowing in courtesy to >Chris. "What may I do for you today?"
>
> "I'm here to talk about some things, do you have >the time?" asked Chris.
GAVOK <Master So>: It's dodgeball time! Bitch.
> "Most certainly," said Master So. "Come on back."
VID <So>: In about half an hour or so.
>
>
>
[MARK glances at his watch.]
> "So, how may I help you Chris?" asked Master So.
>
> "What happened between you and Master Sema?" asked >Chris. "What's the cause of the whole rivalry?"
MMK <So>: Okay, story time.
[TIFF cringes.]
> "Many years ago, Master Sema and I trained >together. We both had the same ideas:
GAVOK <Master So>: Delicious sandwiches at low, low prices.
> Opening up our karate schools, running them as a >business, helping the community; however, Master >Sema always had that righteousness about him.
VID: Not to say "stuck-up".
MARK <So>: I see he's been passing it down to his students.
>Anytime it came to defending people, he'd
>always do it no matter the cause."
>
> "Then why did you split?" asked Chris.
TIFF <Master So>: The floor is slippery and I am very flexible.
> "He was my second man in charge at one time, and he >cost me a lot of money when he defended one student.
TBS <So>: I paid *good money* to have that kid whacked, but *noooo*!
>I couldn't afford him, so I told
>him he had to hit the road. He did do very well on >his own, and I respect him for it."
>
> "He never gave up, did he?" asked Chris.
MARK: What the hell is that noise?
TIFF: That's the sappy music starting.
MMK: Didn't Seal do this song?
> "But I could never understand why he defended his >students so much," said Master So. "It's not worth >the trouble, and he ended up getting a Raging Demon >in return for it eventually."
MMK <Master So>: He keeps it in his closet.
TBS: So that's what they're calling herpes these days.
> "Because he loved them," said Chris.
MARK <Chris>: Raging Demons, that is. I never really understood that about him.
> "I love my students also, but I can't interfere >with them," said Master So.
TBS <So>: I have a court order that says I can't.
> "OK, what about Dann Zenretsu, what's his story?" asked Chris.
TIFF <So>: I dropped him on his head.
VID <Chris>: Oh.
TIFF <So>: Here, let me show you.
VID <Chris>: No, that's fine.
> "Dann Zenretsu, a fine, young talented Black Belt. >He once had some trouble, until some guy from Sema's >school trained him well. After that, I offered the >guy a lot of money to stay on, but we broke up >because
TBS <Master So>: ...we didn't love each other any more.
>I couldn't afford him in the long run."
MARK <Master So>: I never should have agreed to payment in gold-pressed latinum.
> "Is money all you care about, Master So?" asked >Chris. "You're a disgrace to the karate industry."
TIFF: The fact that there *is* a "karate industry" is disgrace enough, I should think.
MARK <Chris>: This is quite *clearly* a McDojo.
GAVOK <So>: I see Master Sema never got around to teaching you *tact*.
> "Not always. I took care of Dann after the Sema >student left, but he turned on me for an evil deal >with Necrosaro. I had offered him the lead of the >demo team, but he turned it down."
>
> "Why does it say a higher power persuaded Dann?" >asked Chris.
MMK <Master So>: Who says?
GAVOK <Chris>: It!
MMK <Master So>: You believe a guy who doesn't know the meaning of the word "haircut?"
> "I have no clue," said Master So. "All I know is of >Necrosaro's intervention."
MARK <Necrosaro>: Dude, you've been drinking way too much lately and we, your friends, are sick of it.
> "Ah well," said Chris. "I guess I won't get any >more there."
>
> "Your skills are very highly tuned, Chris," said Master So.
VID <So>: Now I need to tune. Give me an E.
[MMK hums an E.]
VID <So>: Thanks.
>"You wouldn't have been able to win the Street >Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat tournament without them.
MMK: Yes, that is kind of how fighting tournaments work.
> However, I stand by my position.
GAVOK <So>: In the place where I live.
VID <Chris>: Now face north.
>I do not know anything more than Dann Zenretsu went >to the dark side and he was trained by a former Sema >student."
TBS <So>: And his name looks funny.
> "Well, it was nice talking to you," said Chris. "At >least I got some information."
>
> "It was my pleasure," said Master So as he extended >his hand to Chris and Zborfsky. "If you ever want to >train here, it's on me you know."
TBS: YES! Make Zborfsky the deadliest force known to man!
> "No thanks," said Chris. "I'll pass on that."
>
>
>
MARK: Go ahead, we can wait.
> "Well, what now?" asked Zborfsky.
>
> "Tell your mom thanks for the ride," said Chris,
TBS: Is that what they're calling it nowadays?
VID: Snot...
TBS: It's right there in the fic! You saw!
> "but I've got to transport back to the base.
>
> "Chris, just wondering, have you ever heard of the >Demon and Demoness Zenretsu?"
MARK <Zborfsky>: Who *might* be related to Dann Q.-
LOONS: YOU'RE WELCOME!
MARK: ...
> "What's that?" asked Chris.
> "Oh, just a legend," said Zborfsky. "I don't >believe it for a minute."
[MMK produces a giant bristol board from under his seat. TBS pulls a wooden stand off the wall and sets it up next to the screen.]
> "C'mon, what is it Zborfsky?" asked Chris.
[MMK begins writing on the bristol board with a black marker.]
> "Just a pair of demons rumored to be locked by the >Key of Youth, but they haven't been seen for over >five thousand years, since the Great Flood >supposedly," said Zborfsky.
[MMK places the sign on the stand. It reads "PLOT POINT".]
MMK: I AM BEING SUBTLE!
VID: Yes, thank you.
> "Do you really believe that bull?" asked >Chris. "C'mon Zborfsky! I'm heading back to base!"
[GAVOK falls off his chair.]
GAVOK: Crippled... by... the irony!
> "Well, I'll see you at practice Chris, right?"
>
> "Hopefully," said Chris, "if I make it back alive >this time..."
TBS: So, let me get this right; If Zborfsky had coughed up this little nugget of information earlier we could have skipped this ENTIRE chapter? Now that it *has* been revealed to the hero he promptly ignores it to go whack off in his bathroom?
MMK: What is the sound of one mind snapping?
>
>
>
MARK: Well, *what*, then?
> "We've finally cornered you, Master So," said Alex >Getney. "You will work for Necrosaro now."
MARK <Alex>: And for minimum wage and benefits! Haha!
> "No way, kid," said Master So. "There's no way a >kid like you can defeat an eighth degree Black Belt!"
[TIFF slaps her forehead.]
MMK: This is the story's equivalent of "things can't possibly get any worse".