MMK <singing>: I'm going to take my time! I have all the time in the world!
>Chris transported into the mine town of Aktemto, and quickly turned himself into a Koffing,
>so he could protect himself from the poison gas.
VID <narrating>: Oh, yeah, and he can do that now. Sorry if we didn't mention or explain that.
>Surely enough, Necrosaro and company arrived very quickly after.
MARK <Necrosaro>: Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, we're off to Aktemto...
>"Dann, you've got to be crazy to believe the Armor of Dragons is here," said Necrosaro.
GAVOK <Necrosaro>: There's not even a decent Kwik-e-Mart anywhere!
>"Esturk's death totally destroyed this town with the poison gas!"
GAVOK: Death by flatulence. What a way to go...
[A pause.]
MMK <Necrosaro>: Like, totally.
TIFF: Good to get that out of your system, huh?
[A beat.]
MMK <Necrosaro>: Dude.
TIFF: Oh, for...
>"I'm sure of it," said Dann. "My sensory equipment is right on the nose.
[ALL groan.]
>Chris disguised as Koffing approached Necrosaro,
MARK <Chris, shadowy>: Psst! [mimes opening a trenchcoat] Want some ice?
>"Armor of Dragons, right in Esturk's
>former Throne Room.
>"You're right Dann," said Necrosaro. "Koffing, thanks a lot.
TIFF: Say, he doesn't actually seem that bad, does he?
VID: He's polite, even.
> I now command the poison gas in Aktemto Mine to disappear!"
[ALL speak simultaneously.]
MARK <Necrosaro>: Abra kadabra!
GAVOK <Necrosaro>: Shazam!
MMK <Necrosaro>: Behold!
TBS <Necrosaro>: Rah rah rah! Sis boom bah!
TIFF <Necrosaro>: Please?
VID <Necrosaro>: As I say the magic words, "Alah, peanut butter sandwiches!"
[Pause. ALL look at VID.]
VID: What?
>The poison gas disappeared, and Dann and company went down into the mine.
GAVOK <Daffy Duck, frantic>: It's mine, you hear me? Mine, all mine! I'm rich! I'm a happy miser! [sudden calm] I'm comfortably well-off.
>Chris disguised followed Dann down the first floor, and then when they got to the second
>floor, Chris broke off from Dann and company.
TBS <Chris>: I think we should see other people.
> He quickly used his hockey stick to change
>back to his real form.
MARK: Oh, so the *stick* does it! *That* makes more--
[MARK makes a face.]
MARK: Argh!
>"I hope I can make it to Dann," said Chris as he quickly went down the stairs. On the third
>floor, Chris winded
TBS <Chris>: Oh, Dann?
[TIFF just *glares* at him, saying without words "Go ahead, make my evening."]
TBS: [swallows hard] Never mind.
>through a long maze, sometimes very dangerous as Koffings and Ogres
>made travel very perilous.
MARK: ...and David Bowie kept appearing time and time again to sing to him.
>Finally, Chris arrived at the ladder down.
MMK: Don't go down there! Your radio stops giving off static when the giant roaches attack!
>"You aren't going to chase Dann any farther," said Adam. "We've finally got your sorry
>little ass now, hero!"
[TBS opens his mouth, but TIFF glares at him again.]
TBS: Nah, too easy.
>"You won't be able to stop me," said Chris. "I'm a little too wise for you strong-heads."
MMK <Kei, badly dubbed>: Ha! Your kung fu is pig dung!
GAVOK <Yuri, badly dubbed>: Ho! You have offended my honor! Now you will must die!
>Adam then charged in hard, but Chris hooked out his leg, and then jammed his stick into
>Adam's chest.
TIFF: And through.
VID <Chris>: Whoops.
MARK <Adam>: I am slain!
>"Grrrr," Adam growled
TBS <Adam>: Meow.
>as he tried to get up, but was quickly greeted,
TBS <duck>: Happy Easter!
{I can't remember if it was named or anything, but I was thinking of that duck in a Tom and Jerry episode that keeps saying "Happy Easter!" over and over. Help? -Mark}
>"REVERSE SHOT!" Adam
>was fire-punched at light-speed, and he fell back with a broken nose. Chris then took the
>opportunity and climbed down the ladder.
MMK: [suddenly standing up] No, you fool! Damn it! Get the belt! Get the *belt*!
{Care to elaborate on this, Vok or MMK? I was thinking of Jericho and Christian in that ladder match or something. ^^; -Mark}
[Knight Note: I figure we'll just make it a generic ladder match gag. Eeyep. Simplify.]
>"DAMN YOU CHRIS!" yelled Adam with his speaker on.
[ALL blink.]
MARK: Huh?
TIFF: He has to be attached to speakers before he can talk.
TBS: Sorta like the Six-Dollar-and-Fifty-Cents Man.
MARK: Oh.
>
>
>
MARK: I guess the speaker went off again.
>Chris followed the footprints left on the fourth floor,
VID <Chris>: Oooh... wabbit twacks.
>and kept one thing in mind: The
>Next Friend of Dann Zenretsu.
MMK: Sequel to the 70's horror B-movie hit: The Friend of Dann Zenretsu.
GAVOK: Ah. A classic, unlike the recent "Dann Zenretsu's Dead: The Final Friendship".
>Chris kept following the footprints, until he finally came in
>contact with a ghost.
TBS: ...who promptly shot him dead with a sniper rifle.
MARK <Ghost>: Somebody call for an exterminator?
>"SLIMER! What are YOU doing here?" asked Chris.
TBS <Oscar the Grouch>: A very brief cameo.
>Slimer spoke very garbled and not easy to understand,
TIFF: ...kinda like the narrator here.
>but he did point towards Emmanuel...
>
>"Chris, you have came very far, but your quest ends here," said Emmanuel. "You'll never be
>able to defeat my wrestling skill."
TBS <M.Bison>: Get lose, you can't compare with my powers.
>"You under-estimate me very well," said Chris.
MARK <Chris>: Or very poorly. I'm not sure. Either-or.
TIFF <George W. Bush>: They misunderestimate me.
>"I will get to your leader."
VID <Chris>: Or you could, you know, take me to him.
MARK <Emmanuel>: I'll pass, thanks.
>Emmanuel then tried a takedown, but Chris uppercutted him with his Hockey Stick.
>"You little," yelled Emmanuel, as he charged towards Chris; however, Chris jumped Emmanuel
[TBS opens his mouth. TIFF stuffs him into The Backpack. GAVOK pulls TBS out of The Hat, only a little rumpled.]
>easily and proceeded to hit him with a locked-on hook kick to the nose.
TIFF <Cammy>: LOCK ON!
>"WHY YOU LITTLE..."
[GAVOK proceeds to choke TBS, who makes gagging sounds.]
MMK <Marge>: WHY YOU BIG...
[MMK proceeds to choke GAVOK, who makes gagging sounds.]
MARK: Obligatory Simpsons reference, check.
{Sounds weird when I reread it. Someone care to help? -Mark}
[Knight Note: *I* care!]
>Emmanuel held his nose,
TBS <Emmanuel>: What did you *eat*?
>while Chris climbed into the hole leading to
>Esturk's base.
MARK: Because, as is well established, the only possible way to gain access to the next area is to hit somebody in the nose.
GAVOK <Emmanuel>: Well, I'll just stand here holding my nose while you leave. Yep. My nose just hurts *that much*.
>The palace of Esturk was huge.
TBS <Tom Servo>: It's *huge*!
>A grand underground palace with exquisent design and many
>towers that lifted into the ground.
TBS <Harry Potter>: I never know, what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?
MMK <Hagrid>: Stalagmite's got an M in it.
>Chris then went to the entrance, but Alex Getney was
>waiting for him...
>
>"We knew you'd follow," said Alex Getney. "We were waiting for you, Chris."
MMK <Alex>: Do you have any sense of time, young man? [mimes tapping a wristwatch]
>"I am making it to Dann," said Chris.
TBS <Chris>: And by "to" I mean "with".
VID: You're reaching.
TBS: I'm short.
VID: Fair enough.
>"Oh no you're not!" Alex then hit Chris with a tremendous shot that sent Chris flying all
>the way back into the rock wall fifty feet behind him.
MMK <flatly>: That hurt.
TIFF: You've been waiting all day for that one, haven't you?
MMK: You *know* it.
>"DON'T LET Getney HIT YOU!"
VID: Wanna bet Getney's name got changed at the last minute?
OTHERS: No.
>boomed Mana over the phone. "Get up and nail him hard!"
MARK: You mean to tell me Chris kept his cell open THE WHOLE TIME?
MMK: He's on cable.
MARK: Oh.
[A beat.]
MARK: Huh?
>Chris then proceeded to waste no time as he drew his hockey stick, and started firing as
>many Hockey Pucks as he could, "MULTIPLE HOCKEY PUCK!" Alex stood one, but quickly faded as
>thirty other pucks at 100 MPH slammed into him.
TIFF <narrating>: As he fell he was struck by a prolonged coughing fit that sounded suspiciously like "bullshit".
>Alex was driven into the wall, and he slid
>down unable to fight back.
>
>
>
>Chris then rushed into the palace. It was beautiful and ugly:
MMK: Much like Angelina Jolie.
MARK: Or the last anime con I've been to.
[Or whoever else seems appropriate to you. -z]
>Exquisent paintings of Esturk
>and many monsters were on the walls,
TIFF: ...and, strangely enough, a poster depicting a small dragon, flames, and the words "HANG IN THERE BABY".
>as Chris navigated the maze-like castle. He saw the
>treasure chest for the Gas Container, and he kept going. Chris entered a throne room, and
>saw a treasure chest and Dann Zenretsu.
VID <DM>: No real reason, other than that he seemed to be fiercely guarding the chest.
>"So, you have come," said Dann Zenretsu. "I have been expecting you, Chris."
TBS: "'My God!' ejaculated Phelps."
[Brief, invigorating game of Hacky-Snot (TM) ensues between TIFF and VID.]
>"Dann, I don't know why you work for Necrosaro, but no good can come out of it," said Chris.
MARK <Chris>: He doesn't even have a dental plan!
TBS <Dann>: Yeah, but his retirement plan is great!
MARK <Chris>: Oh, yeah? What're the terms?
TBS <Dann>: I get paid one billion dollars if I retire after the age of 60 or experience permanent injury due to demonic summoning activities, whichever comes first.
>"You've got to get away."
MMK <singing>: See chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone! Run, run away!
>"It's none of your concern," said Dann. "If I have to defeat you, then I will."
>
>"Rest assured, you will not defeat me like you have Kai and Misty," said Chris.
>
>"We'll see about that," and Dann tried to lift his hand into a psychic move, but Chris just
>kept staring at him.
MARK: Trying to glare him unconscious?
TBS <Snowflake>: Now I will give him the *glaring* of a *lifetime*.
>"Why aren't my psychic powers working?" asked Dann. "Only one reason why."
MMK <Dann>: His Aura of Smooth must be stronger!
>Dann then attacked with a quick reverse punch. Chris blocked it and hit back, with a second
>and third as well.
TIFF <snorting>: Pixie.
>Dann dodged the third reverse punch, and slipped in a side kick. Chris did not back off
>that much.
>
>"Yeesh, your skill isn't the best, but you sure do stand up," said Dann.
VID <Dann>: Barely, yes, but I guess evolution can't work miracles.
> "KI BLAST!"
>
>Chris drew his hockey stick and deflected the ki blast.
TIFF: You know, no matter how many times I see that, it never gets any more believable.
>Dann then fazed out,
[TBS' eyes unfocus.]
TBS <Dann>: Dude.
>but Chris sensed him coming and drilled him with his Hockey Stick.
>
>"Grrrr," growled Dann as he moved in.
MARK: If you are evil, this is the intense dialogue you get to use in fights.
TBS <Adam>: Grrr.
GAVOK <Emmanuel>: You little!
VID <Alex>: Oh no you're not!
MMK <Dann>: GRRRRR.
MARK: I'm very sorry.
>Chris tried a punch, but it was caught, and Dann took
>him down and flipped him on his stomach by Chris's wrist.
MARK: As opposed to?
MMK: Flipping him by *Dann's* wrist, of course!
[He and GAVOK hum "Valley of the Kings" under each other's breath.]
>"Say your prayers, Chris," as Dann scratched Chris right in the wrist.
TBS: Ooh, gee, that's *hardcore* violent.
>"It'll take more than that, Zenretsu," said Chris as he stood right up and fired off a
>"HOCKEY PUCK!"
MMK: It isn't a Sorge work without "GOOFY CAPITALIZATION!"
>Dann was hit by the 90 MPH hockey puck and was stunned briefly,
TIFF <Dann>: *Wait* a second, this is *stupid*!
while Chris followed up
>with a 1-2 punch to the face, then a side kick to the body. Dann staggered back, and then
>roared up his ki.
TBS <ki>: ROAR!
>"KAME-HAME-HA!" Dann tried a single beam, but Chris wisely ducked.
>
>"Into Dragon Ball Z, eh?" asked Chris.
VID: And this surprises you *why* exactly?
>"I've studied it well.
TIFF: *No shit*.
>REVERSE SHOT!"
>
>Dann was punched hard in the side of the face, as the energy burned Dann's skin.
MMK <Principal Scudworth>: IT BURNS MY SKIN! BUT IT'S SO *DELICIOUS*!
>As Dann recovered, he smiled at Chris, "Your style is familiar, young Chris!" Chris then tried to
>move in, but Dann suddenly blasted out with a hook kick that hit dead on Chris's nose.
MARK: Because *everything* must hit the *nose*!
>Finally, Dann finished Chris off with a devastating side kick to the body and knocked Chris
>into the back wall.
MARK <Referee>: Chris takes an additional click of damage from the knockback. Chris is now down to his demoralized click.
>"After grabbing the Armor of Dragons, Dann then looked at a badly beaten Chris, "You did
>very well in that fight: That style has always been trouble for me. It was once of a
>friend, who is only a stranger that I met.
TIFF: ...I'd say English is not his first language, but that would obviously presuppose he *has* one.
>Those I know for over ten years, the three who I
>defeated before and my parents, are family."
TIFF: Like I said.
TBS: It must be some sort of code.
>"What do you mean, Dann?" asked Chris barely able to move.
MARK: Yeah, seriously. What's even going *on* anymore?
[That's what I'd like to know. What's this about family, again? James is Dann's illegitimate brother or something? -Sig]
>"The one that trained you is the one that trained me. James taught me how to to fight and
>win."
TIFF <Dann>: And now, for just four easy payments of $49.99, he can teach you at home as well!
>Chris looked at Dann in horror and surprise, "So James was the one Master So was talking
>about..."
VID: As we all guessed CHAPTERS BACK, thanks to HINTS about as SUBTLE as a BRICK to the FOREHEAD!
MMK: Settle down, Vidders. You're going Arlieth on us.
GAVOK: Yeah, I've still got bets that Mark will be first.
MARK: Hey!
>Dan slowly nodded, then put his head down. Finally, Dann left a battered Chris, taking the
>Armor of Dragons with him.
>
>"How can this be?" asked Chris. "How can this be?"
MMK: It's called "a cheap Taiwanese simulation of an actual exciting plot twist".
>"Let's get out of here," said Eric Mana who just came up on the scene after Dann left.
GAVOK <Chris>: Oh, yeah, and thanks for *your* help! Fucker!
>"OUTSIDE! RETURN!"
MARK: The spell then fizzled for lack of MP.
TBS <Eric>: Aw, damn it. I hope you know Chakra.