MMK <James>: THE DREAM IS DEAD.
TBS <Dann>: DREAMS DON'T DIE!
MMK <James>: THE DREAM IS DEAD.
TBS <Dann>: DREAMS DON'T DIE!
MMK <James>: THE DREAM IS DEAD.
TBS <Dann>: DREAMS DON'T DIE!
MMK <James>: THE DREAM IS DEAD.
TBS <Dann>: DREAMS DON'T--
TIFF: DIE.
[TIFF grabs TBS by the feet and cabre-tosses him across the room.]
>
>
>
[TBS returns to his seat.]
TBS: Tossing the wee man. Not funny.
>"C'mon Chris!" yelled James. "Don't waste your time with Foot Soldiers!"
>
>Chris saw a Foot Soldier kick out a door, and defeated him.
VID: Just like that. He defeated him. How dramatic.
>"Just move it and only take out the ones with guns and spears," said James. "Also watch out
>for Swingers and Dragon Riders!"
MARK <Chris>: How about Swinging Dragon Riders?
MMK <James>: *Especially* Swinging Dragon Riders! And watch out in particular for the Unicorn Pirates!
MARK <Chris>: You're just making this up now.
MMK <James>: No, really! And look out for Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Grudenzas!
>A few Slimes watched on
TBS <Foot Soldier>: Aren't you going to help us?
MARK <Slime>: No, I figure I'll just watch.
TBS <Foot Soldier>: Thanks a whole lot.
> as James and Chris blasted through a few Machine Gun Foot Soldiers
>and some Clay Dolls.
TIFF <Dann>: My doll collection! You assholes!
> James then picked up a Knife Soldier's skateboard
MARK: Why do the Knife Soldiers have skateboards? Or did I miss them becoming Tony Hawk Soldiers?
TBS: If I've learned anything from this work, it is that skateboards are INHERENTLY EVIL.
> and started flying through the hall.
VID: Because these are *flying* skateboards. Of course.
MMK <Hack>: We're going to make it!
TBS <Slash>: We're going to make it! Yes!
MMK <Hack>, TBS <Slash>: WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!
GAVOK <Megabyte, shaking his head>: They're not going to make it.
>at anything that came near them, and James
>proceeded to use FIREBANE, ICE-3, and LIGHTNING BOLT spells on anybody out of range.
TIFF: But, since they were *out of range* and all, *nothing happened*.
>James and Chris flew through two floors of the tower in less than two minutes.
VID <monotone>: Action. Drama. Suspense.
>"James, it's Adam!" yelled Chris seeing Adam blocking a door.
MMK <Request-O-Matic>: What's your request?
GAVOK <caller>: Can you play some Arab music?
MMK <Request-O-Matic>: Are you a sir or a madam?
GAVOK <caller>: What?
MMK <Request-O-Matic>: Madam, I'm Adam!
GAVOK <caller>: ...*what*?
MMK <Request-O-Matic, singing>: Request-O-Matic! The request machine!
>"Your party ends here, James and Chris.
TIFF <Adam>: And thus you will not cry when you want to.
>You will not beat any of us friends for life."
MMK <ninja>: 'Cause we're blood brothers till the end of time and space!
GAVOK <hippo>: Word.
>"That's what you think Adam," said James. "Try beating someone your own size!"
TBS: I don't even have to *say* anything.
TIFF <making a face in frustration>: No. No, I guess you don't.
>Adam tried to throw a punch at James, but James reversed the hold and threw Adam down.
MARK: Looks like someone has been playing Dead or Alive 2.
GAVOK: Don't give him ideas!
TIFF: Too late.
> After taking him down, James wrenched Adam's arm so it would hurt for a long time,
VID <dully>: Wow. That's *hardcore*.
>then handcuffed him to the nearby radiator.
TBS: Then hit him right in the NOSE!
>"I don't have time to be messing with you," said James.
>
>"Got the key," said Chris.
>
>"Onward and upward," said James.
GAVOK <Chris>: Mission complete.
MMK <James>: Movin' on up.
GAVOK <Chris>: Get item.
MMK <James>: Nancy, it is rollback.
GAVOK <Chris>: Shine get.
MMK <James>: Do the Bartman.
GAVOK <Chris>: I am Weasel.
MMK <James>: You chase Solo.
GAVOK <Chris>: Arrowed.
MMK <James>: Sentence fragment.
GAVOK <Chris>: Random bullshit.
> "Let's move it!"
TBS <Cid>: Dammit! Can't you say "Let's mosey"?
>
>
>
MMK: John Cage! *Fuck* yeah! Rock out!
>"Man, these Dragon Riders are annoying!" yelled James, as they fired their Machine Guns
>from above in the night tunnel.
TIFF: Somewhere, Charlton Heston shed a tear of joy.
>"And the Foot Soldiers don't help either," said Chris as he got circle-gunned from behind.
MARK <Foot Soldier>: We're doing the best we can!
>"Just keep pushing," said James. "EXPLODET 2!" James's explosion backed off some of the
>Foot Soldiers.
>
>"HOCKEY PUCK!" Chris fired a Hockey Puck at one of the Dragon Riders, disabling him.
VID <Dragon Rider>: Ow. Was that supposed to hurt?
MARK <Chris>: Uh, oh...
TBS <Peter Griffin>: Holy crip, he's crappled!
>James then grabbed one of the circle-gunners and blasted him hard with his fist.
>"C'mon, let's get to the end of this tunnel," exclained Chris.
TIFF: Head towards the light!
>"Not so fast," as Emmanuel on blades caught up to James and Chris.
TBS: He's got blades on his feet?
GAVOK: Must have learned it from the Katana Foot Soldiers.
[Rimshot.]
>Chris then tried to punch Emmanuel high, but Emmanuel went for a double-leg take down.
>Chris hit his head on the way down.
TIFF: *Whose* head? What's even going *on* anymore?
>"Too easy," said Emmanuel.
VID <Geese>: PREDICTABLE!
MMK <Geese>: DIE, YABOOOO!
>"Not for me," said James. "HADOUKEN!"
>
>Emmanuel dodged the fireball with his skates, and tried his own take-down. James caught
>Emmanuel coming in.
>
>"You won't be able to hurt me, buddy," said Emmanuel.
TIFF <Emmanuel>: You're just a kid! ...oh, shit, the magic words. Guess *I'm* dead.
>"That's what you think!" James then grabbed Emmanuel body-to-body, then lifted him up, and
>slammed him straight down to the ground.
>
>"I think you just hit Rock Bottom," exclaimed James.
MARK: Because, *of course*, the Uranage is taught by all Shotokan masters worldwide.
>James then turned to Chris,
MMK: Little did the audience know that James was Chris all along.
> "Chris, you OK?"
>
>Chris shook off the stars, "I think I'll be fine. Five minutes down, three more to go."
VID: Each pointy bracket represents a minute, I take it.
TIFF: Evidently, sure.
>James and Chris then ran into a group of Swingers.
MMK <Swinger>: You wanna trade wives?
>"No way we're getting through these guys very easily," said James. "Prepare yourself,
>Chris!"
>
>"I got it," said Chris, as he hooked down one of the Swingers.
TIFF: Roy Bromwell *is* Chris!
MARK <Roy>: CAM'ON BABAY!
>James then jumped up, and kicked the other Swinger in the face. Suddenly, four robots
>drilled up from under the ground.
>
>"DO NOT RESIST US!" spoke one of the robots.
MARK <Robot>: You will be assimilated.
>"Roadkill Rodneys!" yelled Chris. "James, look out!" as one of them fired off a laser.
>
>"ACK!" yelled James as he got blasted by one. "Be careful!"
>
>"TRIPLE RUSHING ATTACK!"
VID: Rush'n Attack? Damnit, another good game blasphemed by these twinks!
>Chris drilled one of the Roadkill Rodneys with one slice, another
>with another slice, and finished off a Swinger with another.
TBS: INTENSE!
>"SHOURYU-REPPA!" James summoned all of his ki into his fist, and crashed into a Roadkill
>Rodney with one uppercut, another Roadkill Rodney with his second uppercut, and hit the
>Swinger with the big uppercut.
TBS: ACTION!
>"You will not see Dann Zenretsu in person, James!" as Alex Getney skated in behind James
>sucker-punching him.
VID <Alex>: The ticket booth is sold out!
>"You'll pay for that one Getney!" said Chris nastily. James was shaking off the cobwebs.
MMK <singing>: Souma yergon! Sou nou yergon! We are shaking the tree!
>"You were told to watch out for my power," said Alex.
TBS <Alex>: So have you seen it anywhere? I'm offering a reward.
>"Well, you won't take this very well. MULTIPLE HOCKEY PUCK!" Chris ripped thirty 110 MPH
>pucks right into Alex's body. Alex fell down to the ground dizzy and dazed.
>
>"That's three down, now for Dann Zenretsu," said James. "We're almost finished, and ten
>minutes to go to find him!" yelled James.
GAVOK: Refresh my memory. Why did they get the Sword of Truth if they aren't going to use it?
VID: It's a final boss item. It makes the last boss easier to defeat.
TIFF: Like they need that kind of help?
VID: Point taken.
>
>
>
MARK <James>: Man, where the hell *is* he?
>Dann was waiting on his post before Necrosaro, but his parents had came down.
>
>"Dann, it's time that we finally unify," said Mr. Zenretsu.
TBS: Is that what they're calling it nowad--? [VID clocks him with the Furstenburg's barrel.] *uck*
>"I have to stand my post," said Dann.
>
>"We have already talked to Necrosaro, he'll take care of it. Come with us: James won't be
>able to handle you after he's dealt with Necrosaro."
>
>"But this is my post,
MMK <Dann>: ...and you won't edit it!
> and my friends have fallen!" yelled Dann.
TIFF <Dann>: And they can't get up!
>"Do as your parents tell you to do," said Mr. Zenretsu, "or we'll make you do it."
[GAVOK sets up the "PLOT POINT" sign.]
VID: Yes, thank you.
>"I am not coming!" yelled Dann.
>
>"Well then, we'll make you."
[TBS does his best to muffle himself with his arm.]
> Mrs. Zenretsu then took out a bristled hairbrush and drove it
>into the back of Dann's hand and arm.
>
>"STOP IT!" yelled Dann.
GAVOK <Dann>: You KNOW I fear personal hygiene!
> "This is my post!"
VID <Mr. Zenretsu>: Yes, I believe we've established that.
MARK <Dann>: MY POST!
>"You do as we tell you, or we don't stop," said Mr. Zenretsu.
MMK <singing>: KRS-One! We don't stop!
GAVOK <Mr. Zenretsu>: GODDAMNIT! JUST DO IT!
TBS <Dann>: Whoa! Okay.
>"All right, I'll do it," said Dann. "Let's go to the top of the tower."
>
>
>
MARK <Dann>: This is one tall tower.
>The Zenretsus then approached Necrosaro, "Open the stairway to the top, Necrosaro. James
>faces Dann after you," said Mrs. Zenretsu.
>
>"What if I fail?" asked Necrosaro.
MARK <Mrs. Zenretsu>: Didn't I mention it already? Dann's turn comes after yours.
GAVOK <Necrosaro>: Oh, okay.
[A beat.]
GAVOK <Necrosaro>: Waitaminute...
>"We know what to do then," said Mr. Zenretsu. "Now open the stairway."
MMK <frog>: This is a stairway to heaven. You know that, right?
[A beat.]
TIFF <Spike>: Damn annoying frog.
>"All right," said Necrosaro. "But I do mind you that I wish Dann was ahead of me."
TBS <Necrosaro>: Human shield, and all.
>"Too bad," said Mr. Zenretsu. "We can take him right out of your control if we wish, just
>as we did to James many moons ago."
VID: In a fic we didn't see. [pause] Thank the Lord for small favors.
GAVOK: Most likely, a half-assed attempt to explain away Nightmare.
>"Let's go Dann," said Mrs. Zenretsu, pushing the brush harder into Dann's arm.
>
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