Let me sing that song...Thung, a thung-thung-thung
by
<SnotNote: Look, I know the Mads are cool and all... but can we slow down on the Mad riffs? There's folk in the theatre for a reason.>
<It really only got 'bad' in the last chapter, from what I sa-- *reads this chapter* Oh. - BSD>
> They come to the coast, and stop at a beach.
GAVOK <Tifa>: Oh my God, I'm back... I'm home! All the time... They finally, really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to Hell!
RACE <Chicabo>: ...?
> They both dismount.
> "Now wasn't that fun!" "Yea! But, it wasn't relaxing, like you
> said."
MARK <Tifa>: You promised a money-back guarantee!
> "No Honey, this is the relaxing part!"
FALC <Chicabo>: Say "HI!" to Mr. Chloroform!
> She looks at Tifa
> standing there, the wind blowing her long hair, the moonlight
> reflecting off her every curve.
ARL: Someone left the metallic skin filter on the character model.
RACE: Terminator 2 syndrome. Such a waste.
> Chicabo slowly walks over to her.
> "Mercy! You are the sexiest critter I've ever seen!"
RACE <Chicabo>: And I've done just about all the critters there are!
[RACE instinctively ducks, dodging a fireaxe thrown by FALC, which embeds itself into the side wall.]
RACE: Where are you getting all of these from, anyways?
FALC: I held on to some tools I got from a previous visit.
> Chicabo
> slips her arms around Tifa to embrace her. "No.. stop."
ARL: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY STORY, HEED HER ADVICE!
FALC: Arl, calm down. Your brain's gonna explode again.
MARK <Tifa>: I only engage in lesbian sex with women I consider a threat to my chances with Cloud, anyhow.
> "What's wrong Honey? Don't you like me?" "No.. It's not that.."
GAVOK <Chicabo>: It's my ass, isn't it. You think I have a fat ass, don't you?
MMK <Tifa>: No, no, that's not it, I...
GAVOK <Chicabo>: YOU LYING BITCH!!! THIS HAT DOES MAKE MY ASS LOOK BIG AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE HONEST TO ME ABOUT IT!!! [cries]
> "I know you like women. I can see it in your eyes!"
MMK <Tifa>: Oh, sorry. Must've left it in.
[MMK taps the back of his head and a glass eye falls out; he replaces it with an eye that reads "Not A Lesbian, Honest!"]
> Said Chicabo seductively as she fully embraced Tifa.
> "Yea.. I.. I prefer women. But..."
GAVOK <Tifa>: I'm already taken, so HANDS OFF!
> "No more words, kiss me Honey" She locks her lips with Tifa's
> and kisses her passonintly. This made Tifa horny,
MMK: Hey, garbage in, garbage out.
> and in the
> end she surrendered to Chicabo's will, returning the kiss with
> as much passion.
FALC <disgusted>: Because as we all know, the way to a woman's heart is through her groin.
MMK: Been taking anatomy lessons from PJ?
[FALC mauls MMK with a convenient cheese grater.]
MMK: Okay, that was uncalled for.
FALC: I have some lemon wedges handy, you know.
MMK: This is me shutting up now.
> Chicabo lowers Tifa to the sandy ground, then just looks at her
> smiling. "Do me! Please..." Said Tifa lustfully. "Do me HARD!"
RACE <Tifa>: Or do me soft, I don't care!
> "What.. ever.. you.. say.. Honey!" Chicabo spreads Tifa's legs
> and pokes her fingers into her vagina. "OH YEA!"
RACE: *psst... guys... come here... I've got an idea!*
[LOONS all look at each other, then gather into a huddle]
FALC: What the hell are you all planning now?
[The huddle breaks up as all return to their seats]
RACE: ooooooh, nothing... <snickers>
FALC: ...right.
> Chicabo then
> begins to pump hard with her hand, feeling all over the inside,
> reaching the womb sometimes.
ARL: I really, really want to do a series of flow charts and topographical maps to show WHY she can't do that, but something deep inside of me restrains myself.
[ALL visibly ponder this]
> "OHHHHH... YES YES YES YES YES
GAVOK: She must be one of the Great Gazoo's robots.
RACE: You feeling okay? A headcold maybe?
ARL: No... well, no more than usual for this place...
RACE: Fair enough, then.
> MMMMMM...... DO ME! DO ME! DO ME!
MMK: How *do* you make a topographical map of the female reproductive system, Arlieth?
ARL: Just shut up. Okay? Shut. The hell. Up.
RACE: I don't remember sex ever sounding quite this STUPID before.
FALC: Like you'd know what sex sounds like anyway.
RACE: I have nothing to prove to you, Lumberfalc.
> OHHHHHHHHHHHH
> I'M GOING TO CUM.... I'M I'M
GAVOK: SHE IS SHE WHO IS CALLED "I AM!"
MARK: I AM! A WOMAN! OF THE SEA!
RACE: Cheerios spill, aisle twelve.
GAVOK <Violent Ken>: OOOOOOOH... OOOH-GAAAH!
MMK <John Coltrane>: OOOOOOMMM!
[Weird-ass music plays for a few moments, then shuts off.]
R.JAK <over intercom>: The stone hell was THAT?
> Tifa came, all over Chicabo's arm, and then collapsed.
MARK <Chicabo>: It's like the time I got stuck inseminating the wildstock.
> "Oh.... Your really good!" Said Tifa as Chicabo licked the
> cum off of her arm. "Mmmmm, Best cum I've tasted in a while!"
RACE: The low-fat variety just lacks the same zesty tang, y'know?
[RACE expertly ducks under a flaming shuriken thrown in his direction.]
RACE: ...getting creative now, are we?
[FALC shrugs.]
> Chicabo got up and mounted Tifa in the 69 position.
> "Now, we do each other!" Chicabo plunged her thung into Tifa's
> cunt.
ARL: ... her WHAT?
MMK: Thung! The adventurer!
ARL: Huh?
GAVOK: You know, the warrior without fear!
MMK, GAVOK <singing>: HE'S MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYONE, HIS LEGEND'S SPREAD ACROSS THE LAND AND SEA!
ARL: That's not how the song goes.
GAVOK: Liar.
> Tifa raises her head and does the same, as well as
> stroking Chicabo's ass with her hands. Soon, muffled moans
> could be heard on both ends of Chicabo.
MARK: Means she needs a tune-up.
> "mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm MMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM
> MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MM MM m MMMMMM!"
MMK <singing>: Once... there was this kid... who got into an accident...
[OR]
MMK <singing>: Once... there was this girl who... swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion...
[*DING!*]
MMK: That's number two, baby!
{Or we could do the Weird Al version for reference #2. Your pick. ^^ - G.H.}
{You mean like that? =P -WF}
> They both cum into
> each other's mouths. "MMM, I love the taste of you Honey!"
GAVOK <Tifa>: I mean, it's so sweet... but getting at it past all those bees is such a bitch!
[FALC winds up, then pauses.]
FALC: I don't know whether to hit you or not for that.
> "I like yours too, except, it tastes different than usual,
> almost like some vegetable."
ARL: Oh, well, I'm glad you li... HEY!
> "I put Greens in my pussy!"
FALC: She did not just say that.
MMK: Sure makes eating your greens easier.
[FALC swings a bastard sword at MMK's head with great enthusiasm, only to lodge it halfway into the next chair forward.]
MMK: Going back to the classics now?
> "Chocobo Greens?" "Yep. Helps me control them. There are
> some other benefits, I'll tell you them later."
GAVOK: But first, a word from our sponsers.
> "Ok."
FALC: First, let me read off this list of potentially life-threatening side effects!
> "Ready to play a game?" "Erm... Ok! What?"
MMK <Chicabo>: Yahtzee, Special Carpetmunching Edition!
> "I have no name for it.
MMK: The Game with No Name.
GAVOK: Sounds like a game THUNG THE BARBARIAN would play!
MMK, GAVOK: THUNG! MAN OF BRAVERY!
> You hog-tie me, and run away as fast as you can.
Mark <singing>: I couldn't get away...
> I have to try and escape, and catch you! You game?"
MARK <Tifa>: That is the crappest game.
RACE <Chicabo>: We have to make our own fun out here. Can't you tell?
> "Sure! I should warn you, i can do good knots."
RACE <Tifa>: I was a Boy Scout! [ALL except RACE snicker.] Wait a minute...
> "I can escape any bond Honey!" Said Chicabo as she rummaged
> in a travel bag being worn by her Chocobo.
MARK: Sure isn't being worn by her.
> She produced
> some long, thick rope.
GAVOK <Murphy McManus>: You and your fucking rope.
> She knelt down on the ground and put
> her hands behind her back. "Do it Honey!" "Ok, but don't say
> i didn't warn you!"
>
> Tifa wrapped the rope tightly around Chicabo's wrists and
> tightened a knot. "OH YEA! mmmmmmm!"
[Suddenly, RACE jumps out of his seat and runs to the back of the theatre, where he mysteriously vanishes. All the LOONS climb on top of their seats.]
R.JAK <Over intercom> Now just what exactly is -
[Out of nowhere, the theatre wall bursts open, a flood of pink-colored fluid gushing in. RACE rides upon the wave, grinning profusely and bearing a pitcher.]
RACE: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Distinct THUD sound of head hitting a control panel.]
GAVOK: Racey! That was AWESOME!
[RACE stands atop his seat and bows]
RACE: Thank you, thank you. I aim to please.
R.JAK <over intercom>: *sigh* Snot, where's button for the drainage system?
TBS <over intercom>: Oh, right, that. Um... There's currently a nest of gigantic, predatorial mutant crab-like creatures living in the drainage duct, so we decided we had best not open it lest we unleash their horror upon the world.
R. JAK <over intercom>: Well, it's either that, or charge the theatregoers for damages...
[LOONS all turn slowly and glare at RACE.]
RACE: ... uh-oh.
> "Why you so excited?"
FALC: The vending machine messed up and gave me TWO Butterfingers today!
> "I LOVE bondage Honey! mmmmmmmmm!" Tifa got the rest of the
> rope and tied the ankles just as tightly.
MARK <Tifa>: Now to call the cops and make good my escape!
> "mmmmm Ok Honey. I'll give you 5, mmmmmmm no, make that 10
> minutes before i try and escape!" "How can you tell the
> time, tied up?" "I'll count the waves, Now GO! Nudie Tifa!
MMK: For great justice!
GAVOK: For everlasting peace!