1) We've been using *asterisks* to connotate emphasis for a while now. ALL CAPS is used to indicate shouting.
2) If you could pick a tense and stick with it ("'OFF!' she shouted, giving him a vicious knee to the crotch. She gets up quickly, dusting off her shirt."), that'd be great.
3) There's generally a space after an ellipse, unless it starts the sentence. So all of the "..." should have a space after it.
You're turning in some funny sketches here, but editing them is a pain in the ass. Could you, y'know, follow the damn style guide?