Mr. Stoddert has been busy.

by

 
For the record, folks, I don't use Microsoft Word. Ever. Thus, sending me .doc files usually means they get really garbled. If you really have to attach a file, use plain text.

That said, here's a list of the references Jak would like explained to him. I'll explain some of the ones that were mine in a followup post, but I post the whole list here because it's entertaining and educational.

========

Episode 101: SF vs. MK
"OPENING CAN OF SODA!! DRINKING CAN OF SODA!!"

Z-BOT [as Daniel Day-Lewis]: STAY ALIVE, NO MATTER WHAT OCCURS! FOR I WILL FIND YOU...

MMK (in a very very deep voice>: o/~ Suuuupermaaan never maaaaade any moneeeey, saving the woooorld from Sollllomon Gruuuundy... o/~

WAND : Hello, Hammer. Back again, huh? Gnoor.


Episode 102: Homestrike
ìYou heard the one about the prostitute and the zombie?î

MMK <pilot>: And to your left are the Black Hills of Sturgis!

FALC: ..."I am half-sick of shadow," said the Lady of Shalott.

MMK <Hobbes>: I like to say smock! Smock smock smock smock smock!

MMK <Death>: Hi, um... have you seen a zombie about yea high? Answers to Ralphus?

Episode 103: The Return of Sephiroth and Time Crisis
ìThrusting further and further and further towards the fickle man-eating bitch that was death.î

DANA <Cid>: ...how special. Tell me, do you know Issei Mataloun?

DANA <Aeris>: Tell me, is Howard Mackie around? This smells like his handiwork.

MMK: May I help you?
GAVOK: Hi, I'll have two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on an Alkaiser roll, please.
MMK: You want anything else with that? How about today's special?
GAVOK: What's today's special?
MMK: Meat.
GAVOK: "Meat"?
MMK: "Meat". You know, like "I'll have the 'Fish'"? Well, this is "Meat".
GAVOK: I... see.
MMK: It comes with its own sauce.
GAVOK: What kind of sauce would that be?
MMK: That would be Meat Sauce.

Episode 104: Yet Another Evil and Ultimate Evil
"GODDAMMIT! DO IT!"

DANA <Zor>: Battle Chasers is late again, and you draw faster than Madiuera.

GAVOK: Creature design by Ed Boon.

MMK <Zor>: I picked these up cheap after "Defenders of the Realm" got canceled.

TBS <Silk Spectre>: Now, which one of these buttons is the cigarette lighter...?

MMK <Ultima>: Mine say who de dondada? Man who run t'ings?

TBS: Special guest writer, Jim Starlin.

> Terra: Half of his world was destroyed? How?
SAMAS <Edgar>: I don't know, but he's got a book by Sutter Cane here...

GAVOK <Diaz>: I'll be the one to kill you, Johnny! I swear it!

Episode 105: "Shadowloo"
"KILL HER!"

WAND: ...she was now in Destiny's garden. Watch out for the Kindly Ones, Isis!

WAND: Did Andy Sidaris direct this?

WAND: Then slowly take the lingam in your hands, and focus on your yoni...

DANA <Dr. Hibbert>: My god! Gigantism!

WAND: Sagat's the Oracle of Kibo! Cool!

DANA: As told to Jeff Rovin.

SAMAS: It says, "Your mustache smells like parmesan."
WAND <Lord Torgamous>: This means WAR!

DANA <Balrog>: His name is Shinichiro Kaneko, and he's literally pinned down...

Episode 106: Street Fighter: Warrior's Legacy
ìOK, story time.î

MMK <Cammy>: Is this one smart? Is this one a quick learner?

WAND: Great. This 'fic is set in Bill Willingham's sex drive.

WAND: The part of Rose will be played by Polgara the Sorceress.

WAND: Insert your own "Mocrat" jokes here.

WAND <Spider Jerusalem>: Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

WAND: Special guest writer, Ben Raab.

GAVOK: Then Ernie Reyes Jr. kicked them both in the head.

WAND <Ethan Rayne>: I put poison in your drink while you were in the bathroom. You'll be dead in an hour.

GAVOK <Roadkill>: CHICKENS! Phhhhhh!

> Millinocket is a town which pretty much sprang out of nowhere in the early 1900s, near
RW: ...an oak tree with the word "Croatoan" carved into it.

GAVOK <Gryphon>: All right, you're no longer Fury the dog. You are Ronald Ardichico.
MMK <Fury>: Ronald Ardichico.
GAVOK <Gryphon>: That's right. Nice to meet you, Mr.Ardichico. And remember, you're from Boston.
MMK <Fury>: Ronald Ardichico.
GAVOK <Gryphon>: Nice to meet you, Mr. Ardichico. Where are you from?
MMK <Fury>: Boston.
GAVOK <Gryphon>: Hey! My mother's from Boston!

GAVOK <Jay Sherman>: Hey, quarters don't live. QUARTERS DON'T LIVE!

>so space isn't an issue
MMK: Yeah? Tell that to Shiro Lhedat.

TIFF: What exactly is that door made of? Kirlian metal?

Episode 107: "Nemesis" (w/special guests IFR All-Starz)
Sponsored by Jill Valentine All-Utility Breasts!

METAL: Squall Lionheart is Patrick Bateman!

SIG: ...I can't believe that a town where a horrible zombie-rapefic is taking place is named after a furry forest animal. It makes me feel like I'm in a 'Tales of the Riverbank' rerun.
RAN.X <horrified>: You actually watch that?!
SIG <slightly miffed>: Hey, there's nothing else to do while waiting for Cyber Team in Akihabara... no, wait, you DIDN'T hear that.
[ALL quickly hide their tape recorders.]

CHAR <Annah>: Tchh... looks like the Dusties lost one of their Deaders!

MMK <singing>: Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste.

SIG, VID, METAL <zombies>: FREE LEONARD PELTIER! FREE LEONARD PELTIER!

GAVOK <Nick Cave, singing>: We're all microscopic cogs in his catastrophic plan, designed and directed by his Huge Right Hand...
[JUMPY rings a gong.]

R.JAK <Lina>: I'll never forget your heroic sacrifice. SO GO AND DIE ALREADY!

> "Why..why are you here?" groaned Jill, blinking sweat out of her throbbing eyes.
JON <Talking Car>: Why are any of us here?
MMK <Moltar>: Whoa.

MMK: Then they ran into Harry Mason, whose schtick they were stealing.
JON <Harry>: Have you seen a little girl around here?

GAVOK <Carlos>: Drink from me and live... urk... forever...
[GAVOK falls out of his seat.]
CHAR <Jill>: Somehow, I suspect treachery.

MMK <Wendy>: Hey, girl, you're still on fire. Weren't you going to see Dr. Andrea about that?
GAVOK <Yumi>: Well, I did. But she told me to apply water on my skin. So I yelled at her, called her a quack and ran out of the hospital, screaming.
MMK <Wendy>: You did the right thing, Yumi.

MMK <Jill>: Pots, pans, casserole dishes, plastic cups...hey! Abe Vigoda!

W4: It's the "Priss Effect," also known as "Granstream Saga Syndrome."

R.JAK: I think Dekkar drew a picture like that.

VID <Ben Grimm>: Miss... call a... medic...

JON [Dustman]: Now let us rejoice that her journey is done. She has shed the burden of life and found the purity that awaits all creatures in the cup of oblivion.

GAVOK <Carlos>: I'm Geese Howard's second cousin.

VID <Victor>: Your group will now be known by the designation CNNN FDDR.

R.JAK: He must be PJ's version of Vicks and Wedge.

SIG: Damn 8th graders, spraying Rap Musk everywhere...

> Rage filled Ada,
SIG: Five dots?
CHAR: More like four dots.
SIG: Sure.

VID: So Raccoon City is in Xanth?

Episode 108: "Curse of the Nightmare"
ìShinkuu Hadouken!î

RACE <Roy>: All of this will fade in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

TBS: Hey! That's Harold the Hoopty Car with cardboard wings!

GAVOK (McBain): My eyes! My EYES! Zee goggles do NOTHING!

TIFF: Is he hooked up to SHODAN?

MMK <Eric Fox>: You're a butcher!
GAVOK <Max Mirage>: I'm a surgeon!

EMMY <Tasty Taste>: ...and you'll notice I ain't said shit for a couple o' minutes now.

EMMY <Happy Harry Hardon>: Oh, no... the monster stirs... it's the third time in an hour!

TBS <singing>: To say fair's fair, to pay the rent now, to pay our share...

> But its engine was on and the left door was open!
SVEN: And there was a dead fat lady in the trunk.

EMMY <Terence Stamp>: Tell him! Tell him I'm COMINGGGG!!

GAVOK <Topper>: I have my father's eyes. See?
EMMY <Gideon Stargrave>: Funny how only they survived the cremation.

ZRITH <Dylan>: Regina, you have to go back by yourself! Do you have the Third Energy disk?

MMK <Conrad>: There's an Albanian suitcase bomb in Canada! Why would Albania try to get a suitcase bomb into the States through Canada? To stop the launch of the B-3 bomber! What B-3 bomber? You're catching on!

MMK <King Arthur>: BEAM!
GAVOK <Alias the Jester>: Yes, your majesty?
MMK <King Arthur>: You're fired!
GAVOK <Alias>: Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you, your Majesty.

MMK <Natt the Hat>: Once you think about it, profanity is just never necessary.
GAVOK <Tommy>: Never?
MMK <Natt the Hat>: Never.



Posted on Jan 9, 2001, 1:14 AM

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