Welcome to Mystery Octagon Theater's message board, where we write our MiSTings. Please read these guidelines:
before you submit a MiSTing post, make sure that you've checked your spelling. Please, as a favor to your long-suffering editor, adhere to the MOT Style Guide as much as possible, DAMMIT.
MOT is usually peopled by six to eight self-insertions. To get into the theater, call dibs when a new episode begins.
How to MiST: when someone posts part of a 'fic to be worked on, reply to that message with your jokes. When a section has been thoroughly worked over, we move on.
please do not impersonate another user or post anonymously. Evil twins are strictly prohibited.
all comments, compliments, and criticism relating to our MiSTings are encouraged and welcome on this board.
we are usually up to our collective ass in interested newbies. To handle these individuals, there is Quasispace, also known as the MOT B-Team. If you're interested in writing for MOT, go there.
if you attempt to post and receive a "document contained no data" error message, do not hit the "send" button again. That error message means that your post made it to the network54.com server, but the server's return message was garbled. Simply reload the main board, and your post should be there. This is what usually causes the double-posts in here.
Updates [3/1/2005]: several eps are in the editing stage, and will go up when I next update the site.
The plan, such as it is, is for ep. 205 to be a MiSTing of the script for Metal Gear Solid. Nick is the Mad with TV's Austin as his lackey; theater meat includes Gavok, MMK, TBS, and Wanderer, with n00bs Viper and Zemyla. You may wish to get it started, monkeypants.
Admins: Thomas Wilde (Wanderer), the Black Snotling
An Introduction.
by
Hello everyone, I'm Zemyla. Some of you may know me from the Indie Madnesse and IFR boards.
I know the rules: no new avatars right now. But I'm still hoping to help MST fics.
I have to write this skit before somebody beats me to it ^_^
by Gavok
(MMK sits in a chair near a barricaded door. The door keeps moving, like something is trying to break out while bright lights emit from the openings)
MMK: Monkeys are loose. Full of beans, sounds like to me. I let them loose... I mean, out of their cages... but I keep them in there... locked up in that room. If I was ever to let them monkeys out of the house, they'd be running the Ballad inside a week.
(Gavok walks over and stands beside MMK)
GAVOK: Everything this man says is true.
(MMK stands up and slowly begins to undo the locks on the door)
MMK: Monkeys are in here. Think I'll let 'em out. (he slowly opens the door up, but then quickly slams it shut) Heh heh. I was kidding. I wouldn't wish the monkeys on my worst enemy. These aren't cute monkeys. Nah. These are like those damn monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz"... only they ain’t got no wings... and they smell bad... These are vicious, mean-spirited monkeys.
GAVOK: Saw a couple of them get a hold of Thomas Wilde once... Hoo boy.
(MMK picks up a phone)
MMK: Is this Peter Gabriel? If you don't release another album in the next decade, I'M LETTING THE MONKEYS LOOSE!
(Cut to MMK handing in his latest RECBT chapter)
MERVYN: Thank you, Mr. Howard. And I just want to say how much W4 and I appreciate you not letting the monkeys out...
MMK: Oh, I figure I gotta let 'em out sometime... tomorrow!
(MMK stares him down until he begins to laugh. Mervyn the Wonder Slug nervously laughs along with him. Now back to the area in front of the door)
MMK: People think I have got the power cause I've got the monkeys. Nope. I've got the power because I'll let the monkeys loose... They don't understand...
GAVOK: If he says he'll let the monkeys loose, he WILL let the monkeys loose.
MMK: Those lugans don't understand THAT... and those lugans don't understand me. But that's okay. That's all right, see... cause people... they understand monkeys.
It's also in MMK's overburdened hands right now. He's told me he's going to send it in soonish...
...if you want, the first half's reMSTing is being done over at the IFR boards (http://network54.com/hide/forum/51339 ). You just need to go back a few pages. :)
It'll probably be *done* by this year's Winter. :P
Let's see now. I need to upload the completed ep. 112--*still* to the website; ep. 113 now has a sketch, courtesy of one B. Snotling, but still needs an opener, which MMK is working on, and a closer; ep. 201 has an opener, but no sketches or closer, and still needs to be compiled.
As for our next MiSTing, I'd say we have to choose from the following:
-- another exciting installment of "Pokemon MASTER."
-- another exciting installment of "Dave and Dyne Saga."
-- "The Mark of Zenretsu," which will be a treat for our newer staffers who've never worked on Ryoga's stuff before. It's still up, folks, and it's at http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Stadium/5661/marktitle.html if you want to give it a look.
Any other candidates?
Thomas Wilde
a.k.a. Wanderer
and the London Philharmonic Orchestra
<< As for our next MiSTing, I'd say we have to choose from the following: >>
I still vote for Mark of Zenretsu, and it's still on the grounds that we've done Acey's saga and Dyne's fartfest more recently than we've done any Ryo-gah.
<< Any other candidates? >>
Not for this, but at some subsequent point, I think we ought to do that Night Creeper double feature we spoke of (IIRTT Chapter 3 and the Kyoko WAFF, probably in that order for the sake of minimizing the psychic scars).
Ryoga *has* been done twice, so I'm giving him a bye for now. Of the remaining two, Pokemon Master isn't quite as bad. Ergo, I vote we mock more horribly scripted profanity.
My name is Sherlock. I spent some time at Quasispace, but it seemed a bit boring, as I had nothing really to add to many of the discussions, so now I'm here. I hope I can help you guys out by Shadow-MiSTing or whatever, and maybe one fateful day, I can venture into the theater or whatever.
I hope I remember the avatar for my character some time. Oh well. Nice meeting you all.
-Sherlock
"There's something wrong. (pause) Oh, that's right! My head's on fire. Heh."
MOT isn't accepting newbies. ^^; Quasispacers and IFR crewmembers occasionally help for stuff like crossovers and all, but no new members of MOT proper yet.
...why not lurk around a bit and maybe contribute some stuff on occasion? Some short skits and commercials would be good. As long as you don't go shouting "Me! Me! Me in the theater! Look at me! I'm cool! I'm a GOD!" all the time, people here are pretty tolerant. :)
But like S.D. said, theater avatars are generally limited to old writers.
Just be warned though, that I'm one of the *friendly* ones around here. Others' mileage (or opinions) may vary. :)
Wanderer, I do remember that whole incident. Yikes, how could I *forget* when I was the cause of someone rampaging around the board and using *my name* like it's a voice of authority.
That said, I'm just naturally disinclined to chasing people out just because they're new. New people keep things fresh and interesting. A lot of the people who wrote for MOT, myself included, were once hesitant newbies as well.
I apologize for doing it again. Next time, I'll think twice or wait for someone else to reply. :)
That being said...
Sherlock, chill. Honestly, I cringed after seeing the board. It seems like a replay of the incident Wanderer referred to.
In the past 24 hours after my post, you've posted 4 times... 3 replying to the same topic. This is what I meant about being too loud. Your "SCREW YOU! I HAVE EDITING POUERZ!" title doesn't exactly help to endear you to the others, too. You took the polite approach in the text, but the title gives a different impression.
Lie low and keep quiet for a while. Don't feel that you have to post everyday to be present.
...
...come to think of it. I tried explaining it this way to Pei's brother, too. Hope you're more sensible, Sherlock.
Out of the product of free time comes...a commercial.
by
For use in either Episode 113 or 201. I don't care. Doesn't pay to be particular.
[SCENE: A basic table on a white set. Sitting behind is Scorpion, in his typical ninja armor and, in regards to his new game, a set of katanas across his back. Sub-Zero stands behind him, wearing similar blue ninja armor.]
SCORPION: Hello and good evening, fellow denizens of the Dream City area and outlying principalities. I am Scorpion, undead star of the outstanding Boon and Tobias gaming franchise "Mortal Kombat". And behind me is the Lin Kuei assassin yet not technically undead companion Sub-Zero, of the same said franchise.
SUB-ZERO: Yes. We do indeed come from the same franchise and earn royalty checks from time to time from many resources.
SCORPION: Indeed we do, ninja brother, but that is not why we have come before you today.
SUB-ZERO: Correct, slightly undead brother.
SCORPION: Yes. We have come before you today as we represent an organization addressing a very distrubing trend to our community. It is the inaccurate archetype, and it is causing havoc in our streets.
SUB-ZERO: Indeed so. When was the last time this happened to you, faithful viewer.
[The scene shifts. Mortal Kombat Ninja REPTILE stands at a street corner in Dream City, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Then, suddenly, a teenager in a karate gi jumps out.]
KID: Hey! Fight me!
REPTILE: I do not wish to. I am late for an appointment with my friends.
KID: You're chicken! You're afraid of my insane Sayien powurz! HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(The kid charges up, hair turning gold as he grunts, charging his power.)
REPTILE: I am? Well, I didn't say tha...
KID: KAMEHAMEHA!
(The kid launches a fireball into REPTILE's chest. The ninja immediately curls up and groans as the kid laughs and runs off.]
REPTILE: Oh...oooooh...I have felt my spleen in a place where it should not be in...
[we zip back to SCORPION and SUB-ZERO.]
SCORPION: This staged scene is perhaps a sad example on what is happening in our streets. Every fifteen minutes, a citizen of Dream City is either injured or harassed by raving packs of Dragonball Z self-insert delinquents, spurred on by the stereotype that to become a fighter, you must wander around a lot and start fights.
SUB-ZERO: The cause is not limited to the shotoclones. Watch this next example.
[We move back to the same street corner. REPTILE stands, trying to regain his breath.]
REPTILE: Oh...my organs seem to be rearranging themselves quite...
(A blue-jumpsuited figure with a large sword walks over, promptly kicking REPTILE in the nuts.)
REPTILE: OUCH! How can I propogate my tribe now?
SOLDIER: You are a pathetic opponent. My training in the SOLDIER program has rendered me invulnerable to your worthless attacks.
REPTILE: Attacks...? I did not...
SOLDIER: SILENCE! (kick)
REPTILE: AAAAAUGH!
(Another figure walks out, clad in a black trenchcoat and fingerless gloves.)
BLACK TRENCHCOAT: Ah...another one to test his mettle against the famed BLACK TRENCHCOAT, best Street Fighter in the world!
REPTILE: What the fu...OW! You are kicking me in private areas! Stop it! HELP! HELP!
(The black trenchcoat man and the SOLDIER start kicking REPTILE. Then suddenly, a brown haired girl in a sailor suit, cat ears, and a tail jumps down.)
SAILOR: Halt! In the name of the Moon! I, Sailor Fuzzy Omega Neko Bomber shall destroy all the evildoers! In the name of me and ONLY me, I will...
REPTILE: Thank Boon and Tobias...I am saved!
SAILOR: AIYA! You messed up my speech! Ninja no baka!
(The sailor scout bops Reptile on the head with her scepter as the group starts beating up on the helpless ninja, who screams for help as we move back to SUB-ZERO and SCORPION.)
SCORPION: And every other fifteen minutes, an innocent ccanon character gets accosted or terribly injured by hordes of wandering self-inserts concerned only in making reputations than being members of a productive community.
SUB-ZERO: Fellow citizens, do you not find it saddening that we as a city have not grown out of this campaign of bigotry and wallowing into general stereotypes? We have, and we have decided to act out upon it.
SCORPION: Yes. Here at the Society of Consistant Reeducation on Archetypal Maladies in Self-Insertion, or SCRAMS for short, we have sent our competent team of experts out in the field to teach our community the evils of overgeneralization and stereotype, so that the self-inserts of tomorrow will not commit the mistakes of the self-inserts of today.
[The scene shifts to a large building looking like an oversized military complex labeled SCRAMS. Outside, random Sayiens, shotoclones, and sailor scouts wander around with books and texts. We shift to a classroom scene where many types of self-inserts are in class, taught by famous instructor DAN HIBIKI.]
SUB-ZERO [voice over]: Our teaching staff is one of the best in the world in deprogramming destructive or munchkin-like tendencies, and even promotes a style of ettiquete.
DAN: Now class, remember what you learned and tell me what you can do to impress members of the opposite sex.
(The class raises their hands)
DAN: Yes, SuperRanma20x. I saw your hand up first.
(The class mutters as a large bouffanted figure speaks)
SUPERRANMA20X: Have a witty, humble disposition?
DAN: Yes...that's a good one...what else? Almighty Krodd?
(A large, loincloth clad warrior stands up.)
KRODD: Attentive listening and conversation skills?
DAN: Another good one. James?
JAMES: Use the Aura of Smooth to attract the well established characters of certain...
DAN: No! NO! Do I not teach you anything?
[The scene shifts again to another classroom, this one a home economics course, where various mages, wizards, and the random fuku-wearing catgirl are learning wonderful baked dishes. The instructor, who looks fat, pink and oddly Arabian dressed is looking over the works.]
SCORPION [voice over]: And in return, we teach the students useful traits that they can take back home for proper use.
MAJIN BU: Ha ha ha! What you cook for Bu, kitty kitty Nyao Nyao?
CATGIRL: (lifting up a tray of cookies, which are, of course, catshaped.) I made cookies! =^.^=
(Majin Bu takes one of the cookies and eats it.)
MAJIN BU: Mmmmmm...chocolate! And what you make, magic Soulreaver?
(A teenager wearing a monk's cowl walks forward with his bowl, which seems to be oddly steaming.)
SOULREAVER: I have perfected a potion so LETHAL it can kill anyone by just looking at it!
(Majin Bu looks at the bowl, then slurps it. There is a long pause.)
MAJIN BU: Needs ketchup.
[We shift to SCORPION and SUB-ZERO at the table.]
SCORPION: Our goal at SCRAMS is to educate our young heroes the qualities of teamwork, humility, and the respecting of their elders. With a little help and generous donations, we will be able to complete this enterprise.
SUB-ZERO: If you know someone suffering from self-insertion symptoms, or just wish to make something out of your career, contact our office on Aensland Parkway, just past Lucky Dan's Shrub Emporium and the Peek-A-Boo Hello Kitty Panty Panty Revue, or call our number at 1-877-69-SCRAMS to receive a brochure and other interesting liturature on this growing problem.
SCORPION: And now, back to the wonderful programming on the station, or something.
[SCENE: The outside of a school. Two TYPICAL WELL-BODIED JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRLS sit outside the steps and sigh.]
Schoolgirl #1: Ah...Usagi-san, I am so bored.
Schoolgirl #2: *sigh* I am so too, Haruka-chan. All of our scholastic endeavors are done for the week, and I don't know a thing to do in this boring town.
Schoolgirl #1: (gets up) I know! Let's go visit that haunted mansion up the street from the wonderful Tsutaya Media store and explore for ghosts!
Schoolgirl #2: Ano...isn't that dangerous?
Schoolgirl #1: Of course not, genki! We can buy flashlights and see if the rumors are true! We can even try to find out what happened to the ten other girls from this school who disappeared while exploring that same building!
Schoolgirl #2: Okay! Let's go right now in our short and qhight tight fitting school uniforms! This should be so much fun!
(Suddenly, there is a loud voice.)
Voice: STOP! You crazy girls don't know what you're doing!
Schoolgirl #1: AIIIE! Who is that?
(As the girls turn, a SMALL BLACK GEL BLOB hops from the side of the screen, looking at the girls sternly.)
Schoolgirl #2: WAI! It's Anthropological Officer N!xau Cangelosi, the insidiously wacky and cute tentacle rape monster from the popular TV show "Gavok It Name Hello!" What are you doing here, Cangly-sama?
Cangelosi: Well, girls, I'm here to stop you from making a dreadful and life-altering mistake! Are you aware of the medical side-effects of continuous tentacle rape?
Schoolgirl #1: Erm...no, but what does that have to do with exploring...
Cangelosi: HEY! I'm talking here, missy! (it hops to the screen) Medical doctors from the Kyushu Monster Institute has been making quite a number of discoveries, and frankly, they're enough to make a monster like me quiver in fear. (shivers to express its point.)
Schoolgirl #2: Why, Cangly-sama? What did they say?
Cangelosi: Did you know that every hour there is an innocent girl such as yourself snatched off the street and ravaged mercilessly by a beast?
Schoolgirl #1: Erm...I don't think that's right...
Cangelosi: And did you know that in one of three of those cases, the monster or the girl get physically injured due to the fact that they did not take simple precautions such as limbering up, not using enough lubrication, or bending themselves in rather dangerous positions?
Schoolgirl #2: But what does that have to do with us?
Cangleosi: Why...EVERYTHING! *chitter* Tentacle rape can be fun for most parties, but if you don't stop to use your head or rush into it, there's a very high chance that you won't be coming out of the session with just your sexual history broken! Monsters, take proper safety measures! Don't overextend your tendrils, and know the limits of your partner before hand! Schoolgirls, when fighting off the tentacle demons, always try to concentrate with moving your weight in the knees and not the back, and be considerate. If you have to kick, make sure you kick away from the monster's face so that you don't accidentally blind them. That way, you can have a great time!
(The girls coo in amazement.)
Schoolgirl #1: Cangly-sama, you're so knowledgable!
Schoolgirl #2: Hai...thinking about your knowledge is getting me all excited.
Cangelosi: Hey, girls. How about you steer clear from that abandoned building and come over with me so I can give you a few more pointers?
Schoolgirls: Can we, Cangly-sama? YAAAAAAY!
(Cangelosi and the girls jump off, away from school.)
Announcer: Remember, kids and demons, when you play, play it safe! This announcement brought to you from the Kyushu Monster Institute in association with the Shokushu Schoolgirl Experimentation Labs and other affiliates.
2. Are there any places left which have archived PJ's/Biodread's works? [yeah I know... but after reading the 'Homestrike' and 'Nemesis' MSTings I want to find out how sick this guy really is]
3. What's taking so long with all the upcoming episodes? [I realise it takes time to work up good sketches but it can't take this long can it?]
1) That's odd; it should have one. I'll have to update the site tonight.
2) if I remember correctly, there was an archive on Geocities, but I don't know the URL offhand. "How sick this guy really is," sadly, is "worse than you think." Some of the stuff he released after "Nemesis" makes "Nemesis" look like "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm."
3) we're not actually in any hurry, and we, despite common sentiment, have lives.
Many thanks kindly stranger. [Now on to the process of destroying my soul...]
by Odie
oh and I only have three real reasons for looking for this:
1. I wanna re-affirm my belief in nihilism.
2. I only know him by his reputation and I want to see exactly why people hate him so. [although I just had a quick look through the site you gave me the link to and (unfortunately) I'm already getting a good idea why]
3. I'm really, really, REALLY bored.
I figure we'd better take ourselves a little break before ep. 202 (currently down to a vote-off between more MASTER and RyogaMKN's "The Mark of Zenretsu"--make your voices heard on a followup). We're starting to build a backlog of incomplete MiSTings, and that never goes well.
(--I am also recommending this somewhat frantically, because my deadline for Mario Sunshine is apparently mid-September, they shaved two weeks off of what I thought it'd be, so now I'm going to have to go bounce around like I want to win, goddammit--)
Anyway.
Currently on deck:
-- ep. 113 is in someone's hands other than mine... eon, I believe. It's skitless. We should remedy that.
-- the Non-Denominational Winter Festival Spectacular, as Mark has pointed out, is over on the IFR board for your viewing pleasure. If you meant to do more with it, go do more with it. Please.
-- ep. 201 is on this board in its entirety. Certain parts of it are a little underwritten; feel free to correct that, as it were. John's too busy trying to look up Aika's skirt to compile, for the moment, so we've more than enough time to work on it. It, likewise, lacks skittage; Gavok has dibs on 201's opener.
-- as above, so there's no confusion: go vote on what should be ep. 202. Don't start calling dibs yet, okay?
Thomas Wilde
a.k.a. Wanderer
...damn you, Mario. Damn you to hell.
<< I figure we'd better take ourselves a little break before ep. 202 (currently down to a vote-off between more MASTER and RyogaMKN's "The Mark of Zenretsu"--make your voices heard on a followup). >>
Let me reiterate my desire for "Mark" to be next up.
<< We're starting to build a backlog of incomplete MiSTings, and that never goes well. >>
True dat.
<< (--I am also recommending this somewhat frantically, because my deadline for Mario Sunshine is apparently mid-September, they shaved two weeks off of what I thought it'd be, so now I'm going to have to go bounce around like I want to win, goddammit--) >>
Yikes.
<< -- ep. 113 is in someone's hands other than mine... eon, I believe. It's skitless. We should remedy that. >>
I think I had a skit idea at some point, but I'd have to dig through the board to find out for sure, let alone what it was. If I don't find it, I'll try and come up with a new one, sure.
<< -- ep. 201 is on this board in its entirety. Certain parts of it are a little underwritten; feel free to correct that, as it were. >>
I might just have to see if those parts suggest anything to me.
<< John's too busy trying to look up Aika's skirt to compile, for the moment, so we've more than enough time to work on it. >>
I've got compiled versions of each riffed chapter as they currently stand, so I can do the work if it comes to that.
<< It, likewise, lacks skittage; Gavok has dibs on 201's opener. >>
Y'hear that, 'vok?
<< -- as above, so there's no confusion: go vote on what should be ep. 202. Don't start calling dibs yet, okay? >>
Tearing myself away from looking up Aika's skirt to reply...
by
I have a few incomplete sketches waiting at the home computer...I'll be sending them in a later post. Hopefully, most of you can add or critique on them.
As for the compile...heh heh...well, lessay that may take a bit longer...
I'll get to the opening skit after I finish my Forgot About Jae chapter. I may end up skipping for RECBT or switching with another writer. But it'll get done, damn your eyes!
Gavok
<Gavok> "I can breathe now! And you stink!"
<MMK> "You gave him my clear sinuses!"
<Gavok> "You screwed Bret! You screwed Bret!"
<MMK> "And you gave him my Canadian heritage!"
...is for "Mark of Zenretsu." Not only does this give the newer-bies a chance to bust it on Ryoga, but I'm not quite ready for more Pokemon yet. MASTER kinda burns.
Here's the full thing. Edit how you see fit. I'm certain it makes as little sense as it did when I wrote it. I was originally going to give MMK the part of Future Man. But since black dub used that bit so well in Forgot About Jae (the Wily/Megaman X meeting), I figured I'd just make MMK Busta Rhymes. And before anyone asks, the tiger thing never happened on the show. It's just something I came up with that I thought would work. I'll probably do the ending once some more skits are written. Now on with the chlorophyl.
WAITING...
WAITING...
Wanderer, AoD and Falconer sat around the cafeteria, drinking their respective beverages. Besides the five full minutes of slurping and heavy sighing, not a sound was made.
"Say," Falconer said. The others continued drinking and heavily sighing for about two minutes. Falconer inserted his drink straw somewhere through his bushy beard and slurped. How they spent all this time drinking without any refills is anyone's guess.
"Anyway," he began again. "The ratings came in. We did pretty well. Number three on the Nielsen's."
Wanderer took a loud, mostly empty sip of his coffee. This lasted for about thirty seconds. "You don't say. Can I see the list?" Before Falconer could even grab it from under the table, Wanderer yelled, "Today, Falconer!"
"All right! Hold on." Falconer handed him the printed results of the Nielsen ratings. "Hey, neat! We're number three *again*! The only guys before us are Urien's Dance Party and, uh... Multi... Multi... Wow, this is a big word."
"Multimediocre?" AoD asked.
"No, it's not--" AoD burped loudly, interrupting the statement. "No, it's not that. It's Multi... pass. Something, something Council. Wait... Falconer, how old is this list?"
"I don't know. From '97?"
"Well do you have anything from this week?"
"Oh, you don't want that."
"Falconer, I'm this close to trimming your beard with my katana. And you're next after that."
"Fine! Here!" Falconer angrily handed Wanderer a long, white sheet of paper with a red circle at the bottom.
Wanderer looked over the list. "Where's my name on here?"
"The bottom."
"That's impossible. I'm a hit sensation. I can't be right above Oro's Half Hour of Hip Gyrating."
AoD peered over. "You're not. You're two spots below him."
"You're telling me that the public would rather watch a homely prune, who has to be over a century and a half years old, and is wearing a collection of dirty rags, gyrate his hips for about 22 minutes plus commercial breaks?"
AoD spent a full minute taking a sip from It's mug. "It knows It would. He gets better guests."
Wanderer lowered his head and pounded the table. "Where did we go wrong?"
"Well, for starters," said Falconer, "our biggest guests of the last season were Captain Kidd and Beans."
Burghy suddenly jumped into frame. "Did somebody say 'beans'?"
AoD tossed his coffee mug at Burghy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! IT HURTS! YOU'RE MEAN! WAAAAH!"
Wanderer was deep in thought. "What we need is a new direction." He popped up. "I know! We'll change our show to a story about Kim Kaphwan and his quest to reform all the bad guys of--"
"It's been done," Falconer told him. Then he looked inspired. "But... what if instead of Kim Kaphwan we use a monkey in a muumuu? Yeah! I can see it now!"
Wanderer crossed his arms. "That's stupid Falconer. It's stupid because it's... stupidacular. Hm... what's on the top in the ratings?"
AoD looked at the list. "Reruns of MMK and Gavok's stupidacular Japanese shows."
Wanderer scratched his chin. "They should make new episodes of those."
Falconer held his hands behind his back and looked down at the screaming Burghy. Burghy had, in fact, been screaming in pain for the last minute or so. "Uh, they can't make new episodes. We have them prisoner, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I'm planning on making them fight tigers, once the eBay deal goes through. Tigers." Wanderer looked away from his partners and upward. "...Tigers..."
There was a pause for about half a minute, filled with Burghy screaming in pain.
"So anyway, why don't we just steal the ideas from one of their shows? Then we'll surely get the ratings!"
AoD stopped sipping from a second mug of coffee. "First you get the ratings. Then you get the power. Then you get the women."
Falconer looked the list over again. "Well, why don't we go with a show like Gavok's?"
"Feh. Feh, I say! How, I ask you, are we going to fit tigers into a show like that? It would... it would be..."
"Stupidacular?" AoD suggested.
"Yes! I say we go with Howard's deal. We have the stuff; we should just make some poor saps watch a bad fanfic. Like that Hutchins thing with Sakura."
Falconer gave a mix between a sigh and a grunt. "And what about the tigers you're so hung up about?"
"Falconer, Falconer, Falconer. ...Falconer. Still talking about tigers, are we? You're living in the past, man! This is the '90s. Catch up... dude."
"But it's the year two thousand and--"
"Listen, the fact is, we're wasting time. We need some more prisoners. Who do we have so far?"
AoD told him. "The Knight, Gavok and Arlieth. That's it."
"That's it? Hm... Where am I going to get a couple more victims?" Wanderer looked at Falconer, AoD and the screaming Burghy.
"We'll pound you," Falconer threatened.
Wanderer looked in Burghy's direction. "And him?"
Falconer looked at him too. "There's a chance he lost his sight. We should probably find others."
Wanderer agreed. "But where?"
Just then, Racewing the intern walked in dressed up exactly like Wanderer. "Anybody want a refill?"
Falconer broke the table over Racewing's head. Race immediately passed out. "There's one more."
Wanderer scoffed. "You can't make me believe that Racewing is a tiger."
"He's not a tiger! He's another victim for the show!"
"Oh. Good work, then."
AoD pounced onto Racewing's unconscious body and began to viciously punch him with It's fists, like they were pistons. It didn't even have an angry look on It's face. But you couldn't tell from the beating It gave.
"That's enough, AoD," Wanderer said while pulling him off. "I think he's under."
AoD nudged Racewing's arm with It's foot. "Look. He moves."
"Take this, tenacious intern!" Wanderer began kicking Racewing many times in the ribs. "Okay, I think that did it."
Burghy raised his hand while lying on his back and stopped screaming. "Can I kick him too?"
"No!" Wanderer yelled back.
"Please?"
"Okay, but make it quick. We have a show to do."
The scene changed to a neat CG sequence of the television studio, accompanied by the theme song by the famous medieval rock group, "Man or Lizard Man." In an unseen recording booth, Shadow Dragon Ryukage (call her "Super Deformed" and she'll kill you) read her lines into the microphone.
"Hey everybody! This is SD Ryukage, and welcome to Wanderer: Coast to Coast! Today we... uh... I'm sorry. Usually there's a list of guests. But instead I was handed these torn out encyclopedia pages about tigers. So I have no clue about-- oh, hey AoD. Do you know who's on the show tonight?"
"You."
*whack*
*thud*
*grunt*
AoD grabbed the microphone. "And now, the fucktard himself, Wanderer." Then It picked Shady up, carried her over It's shoulder and bolted.
In the main set, Wanderer jumped into frame from above and waved to the viewers. "Hey! Welcome to my show. Tonight we have some very special guests." He turned to his left. "AoD, did you drop them in?"
AoD breathed heavily as It got settled back into the keyboard station. "Yeah... they're... *whew*... they're just waking up..."
In his booth, Falconer was surprised. "That was a lot of running for less than a minute. I mean, you went up three flights up stairs, down five to drop Shady off, then two more to get back here."
"It... knows..."
Wanderer looked at AoD slouched over. "You don't look so well. Falconer, get the bastard something to drink."
"Blood. With ice."
Wanderer sniffed the air. "What's the smell?" He looked at AoD again. "Hey, you didn't tell me you sweat sulfur. That's neat!"
[---]
Meanwhile, Racewing and SD Ryukage woke up in pain with no idea of the pain they were about to endure. "Where am I?" they asked in unison while tending to their wounds.
Arlieth sprung to their sides. "You're awake! Thank God! Normal people!"
Race rubbed his head. "Huh? 'Normal people'?"
"Hey!" MMK yelled from high above. He and Gavok were both posing on top of two separate pillars. MMK had his hands to his sides in a gun-like shape while Gavok was pointing at himself with his thumbs. "Since they're awake, does this mean we're not allowed to deliver a Swanton/Five Star Frog Splash combo?"
Arlieth grabbed Racewing and Ryukage by the arms in preparation to pull them away. "Yes!"
"Yes we can jump or yes we're not allowed?" Gavok wondered.
"The latter!"
"What did he say?" Gavok asked MMK.
"I think he says he wants us to jump off ladders." MMK called down. "We can't fit ladders up here! There's not enough room to hold them up!"
Arlieth grew annoyed quickly. That was understandable considering how long he was stuck with the loons. "No! I said I forbid you from delivering Swantons and Five Star Frog Splash to Racewing and Ryukage!"
Gavok and MMK shrugged. "Ah well," the Vok said. "Plan B." He turned around and flipped back off the pillar. Arlieth pulled Race and Shady away just in time for Gavok to belly flop the cement floor with a loud crunch.
"What did I just tell you?!" Arl demanded.
"Hey, man. You didn't say anything about moonsaults." Gavok could hear the sound of something falling above him.
*crunch*
MMK stood back up. "And you never said anything about Swantoning Gavok."
Shady snapped out of her stupor and fumed at the sight of the tuxedo-clad madman. She tried rushing him, but Racewing and Arlieth pulled her back. She stopped trying and merely shook her fist at MMK.
"I wish I could tear him apart!"
She could have sworn she saw Gavok standing right behind her, mimicking her actions, but when she turned around he was already gone. Huh.
MMK shrugged. "Well at least she didn't say, 'You... you're Geese!' Like I haven't heard that joke a hundred times. I mean just because you happen to share the last name of an evil martial--"
Racewing interrupted. "What the hell is going on? Why are we stuck in here?"
The movie screen turned on to the image of Wanderer smiling. "Greetings!"
Gavok did his best impression of the Shade, which wasn't so hard considering his appearance. "Thomas Wilde. The plot thins."
Arlieth groaned. "Is it a rule that everyone but me gets to do this gig?"
"Why did you throw us in here, Wanderer?" Race asked as he removed his Wanderer head accessories and put his green cap back on.
"A new direction for the show. I suggested making this a reality show, but you know AoD. Always trying to destroy reality. Heh heh heh. Hoo boy. So we decided to kidnap the five of you and force you to watch more of Hutchins' work."
All in the theater except MMK shrieked. "HUTCHINS!?"
"Yes, Hutchins."
MMK thought to himself for a second. "He's the guy who writes himself as a cube who could kill Akuma on a whim if he felt like it, right?"
"Yes," Wanderer repeated. "Him."
MMK smiled. "Oh. Well fuck you too, then."
Wanderer continued. "We'll record your time in there and broadcast it across the globe. Isn't that right, AoD?"
"It's true. It *does* want to destroy reality."
"Isn't that right, Burghy?"
"My face still smells like coffee!"
"Isn't that right, Falconer?" No answer. "Falconer?"
Falc was in his director's booth flipping through the channels.
"I can throw that. I can throw that. I have thrown that. I can throw that. I plan on throwing that after the show. I can throw that. I... give me another week in the gym. I can throw that. I have thrown--"
"Falconer!"
"Huh?!"
"Stop playing around. We have a show to do."
Falc growled like a bear being woken up from hibernation. "Fine. Oh, and your wife is on the line."
Wanderer paused in shock. "My-my wife? I... uh... I don't have a wife."
"You're married?" AoD asked incredulously.
"Listen, this is a farce!" Wanderer glared, stone faced, into nothing. <Change the subject, Wilde. Change the subject.>
"Hey, look! It's our friend the Rappin' Black Snotling!"
The Black Snotling, dressed in a backwards cap, basketball jersey, sunglasses, gold rings and necklaces, crossed his arms and bounced to the beat.
"Well, I'm the Black Snotling and I'm here to say,
That Wanderer's show is A-okay!
He's gonna make the other guys watch the fic,
And then he'll make a buck watching them get sick! Word."
Wanderer was sitting at his desk by the end of the rap. "That was 'solid', Snotling. So can you 'kick it' with some 'words' on Warrior's Legacy?"
"We-e-e-e-e-e-e-llllll... I'm the Black Snotling and I'm here to say,
I don't envy Vok and MMK!
Because if the first two chapters reeked like potty,
Then this'll be pain, take it from Snotty!"
"What a 'fly' 'jam' that was. Do you have any more lyrics for us, Rappin' Black Snotling?"
Snotty abided.
"Well. Well. Well, well, well, well...
Well I'm the Black Snotling and I'm here to say,
That I say 'wowsers' every day!
Like-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
AoD held on to the rope that triggered the trap door that the Black Snotling had conveniently been standing on. "It took all It could stands and It could stands no more."
Wanderer slowly advanced. He stared AoD in the white things that acted as eyes. "AoD, you have imprisoned a valuable educational tool."
"So?"
Wanderer held up his sword. "And a dear friend." He sliced AoD in two, down the middle. As AoD's split remains fell to the bottom of It's keyboard station, It respawned and popped up behind them.
"Your mother."
In the theater, Race looked at the other victims, including the Black Snotling, who fell into his seat at that moment. "I don't get it. I know how I was suckered in here, and I can guess what happened to Shady, but what about you guys?"
Wanderer gave a cheesy smile. "I'll field that one. Ah yes, it happened a week ago. Join me in flashback as I tell you the story of fifteen sexy kung fu minutes... kung fu... kung fu..."
[---]
Arlieth traded words with the current guest of Arlieth: Coast to Coast, who was Metaljedd. With a lull in their interview, which was seemingly going well, AoD popped in with a comment.
"Metaljedd, you have a kind face."
"Oh. Well thank you."
AoD pulled out one of It's weapons of mass destruction. "The kind of face It would like to rail!"
With true aim, the monitor went explody after Arlieth ducked and covered under the desk. "Well," he said. "That was the third guest you've done that too. Luckily I won't mind about the next guy. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome James Howard, the Multimediocre Knight."
Another monitor lowered down. "Hey, how's it going?" MMK asked.
There was a long pause.
Then MMK started laughing his ass off.
"What in the name of Jim Jarmusch is going on in here!?" Wanderer yelled, entering the scene with a wrench in his hands.
"Holy crap!" Falconer exclaimed. "He is alive!"
"Damn," AoD muttered.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Wanderer checked his pulse, just in case. "Um... yeah! Why wouldn't I be?"
AoD told him, "You left to go fix a gas leak three weeks ago. When you didn't come back, It tried to hunt you do-- It means start a search party. But since they and It never found you, you were assumed dead."
"Ohhhhhh! Right. That thing. Well I tried fixing the pipe from the inside, you see, but I couldn't find a way out. So three days later I decided to just smash my way out. Then I got the brilliant idea to create a theater prison downstairs that we can use."
"For what?!" Falc asked.
"Stuff. Geez, do I have to think of everything?"
Arlieth waved. "Hello, Wanderer. I guess this means I'm no longer--"
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*
Arlieth fell from the might of Wanderer's wrench. He didn't make a peep.
"Who is this guy?"
"That's Arlieth, remember?" Falc told him from his booth. "He was your understudy."
"Oh, he's not a replacement. He's a prisoner. A prisoner of war. A prisoner of the ratings war."
"What does that even mean?" Falconer wondered.
"Just shut up and dump this guy downstairs."
"Aye-aye, cretin."
"So..." AoD began, "you did fix that leak, right?"
Wanderer took a long pause, turned his head and looked at the bandleader. "There's a leak?"
MMK continued to laugh hysterically.
Falconer walked by, dragging the body of Arlieth. "Apparently he didn't."
MMK stopped giggling for a second and pointed at Wanderer's katana. "I was wondering if I could have that."
"Have what, this?"
"Yeah. Heeheeheehee!"
"And what are you going to do with it?"
"Hehehehe. I think I'm going to slash some people up, or slice up some cheese, or..."
Burghy popped into frame, right in front of the desk. "Did somebody say 'cheese'!?"
AoD tossed It's coffee mug at Burghy's face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!! EVEN IN A FLASHBACK IT HURTS!"
Wanderer looked at AoD, then turned to MMK. "Excuse me for a minute." He stalked over to AoD and beat It senselessly with the wrench. After about six or seven shots, he returned to his seat. "God, that was violent."
MMK just laughed in response.
"You laughing at me?"
"Heheh. No, I'm laughing with you, man."
"I wasn't laughing." Wanderer pulled on a cord. "And neither will you be."
MMK fell down a trap door and into the theater prison below.
"Yes," Wanderer's narration went on. "Two of the loons were taken care of. But then terror struck. From above. He struck from above. 'He' meaning the terror. That's what I meant."
Gavok descended down upon Wanderer, flattening him with an elbow drop.
"I was pinned to the ground."
AoD's narration butted in. "Yeah. By freaking Gavok."
[---]
Wanderer, back in the present, pounded on his desk. "No! No, no, no, no! This wasn't just regular, plain Gavok."
In the theater, Gavok shrugged. "Yeah it was."
"No. This was The Gav-Ok!"
[---]
Gav-Ok! got into the face of the lying Wanderer. "So, Wanderer we meet again!"
"Gav-Ok! The pleasure is all mine."
"Nonono! Correction: the pleasure is all for me! Leg drop!" Gav-Ok! leg dropped Wanderer into the floor. "Ho-HO!"
"No!"
"Boston Crab!"
Wanderer groaned in pain. "He's pulling my legs and damaging my lower back! Must get together!"
Gav-Ok! let go and stomped on Wanderer's back. "You! Deal with it!"
"Ugh! Son of a..."
Gav-Ok! wrapped his arms around Wanderer's head and held his right arm down with his legs. "Time to fall to the Crippler Crossface! And prepare to die!"
"Not while I'm alive!" Wanderer stood back up, bringing Gav-Ok! with him and delivered a Russian Leg Sweep. "Medical school!" He picked him up again and gave him a back breaker.
Falconer looked on in awe. "Wanderer has mastered the Bret Hart Five Moves of Doom!"
Wanderer delivered a vertical suplex. "May cause drowsiness."
"Ow!"
He gave Gav-Ok! an elbow drop from off the desk. "From your coffin!" Then he grabbed his enemy by the ankles.
"No, you don't have to do that!"
"Because you're dead!"
Gav-Ok! tapped out to the Sharpshooter until falling unconscious.
Wanderer flexed. "That's one loon who is going to be locked up."
"He sure is, Wandy!" AoD enthusiastically yelled.
"Falconer, I think I have another load for you to take down."
"You sure do, Wandy!"
"Shut up, AoD."
*blink*blink*
"You make me sick."
"It does, doesn't It?"
The three began to laugh heartily except for Burghy, who was still screaming in agony.
[---]
Wanderer sighed in admiration of himself. "Yep. It was all action. Pro wrestling and action."
"Unbelievable," Ryukage scoffed.
"But yet very true. But yet very, very true."
Snotling looked to Gavok. "Did that really happen?"
"Well, most of it was until he got to the part with me. Truth be told, I knocked him out with that elbow drop. Then I just wandered aimlessly thanks to the gas leak and found myself in here."
"Wait," Racewing sprang up, "are you saying you know the way out of here?"
"Well yeah." Gavok looked up and saw that Wanderer and costars were busy discussing his reluctant marriage to Rainbow Mika. He whispered, "This is what we'll do. You play along with the Wilde Bunch. I'm going to go secure the way out of here. Be back in a sec."
The others gave him thumbs up. Except for Arlieth who was pissed that Gavok didn't mention this a week before. Gavok ducked down and began his escape route.
Wanderer, meanwhile, was still busy dealing with Falconer and AoD. "Listen, all things get married. Even spiders and Choi Bounge. What's so big about me doing it? I think we should just let this go."
Rainbow Mika appeared on the monitor.
Wandy was bemused. "Thank you, Falconer. Hey, honey."
"RAIN-BOOOOW!!"
"Falconer, go to a commercial."
[END TRANSMISSION]
"This week on Aqua Deformed Hoolee Force:"
The eDANgelist, Kenma and Nere huddled inside their apartment. eDAN looked around with a look of paranoia. "It seems to me that that crash outside was really the apocalypse. And miraculously, we're the only survivors."
Kenma rolled his eyes. "eDAN..."
"And since we're the last living beings left on earth, I declare myself to be the first in command. Kenma, you're the second in command. Nere... you have to take your own life."
"What!?" the other two said.
"Come on. Be noble."
Nere just stared at eDAN. "Well... if it's for a good cause."
[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]
Wanderer continued talking with his wife. "And while I have you here, tell that Russian friend of yours, Zangief, to stop pile driving the sofa."
"He makes all the children happy!"
"Those aren't children. Those are claw-induced scars."
"I like to talk to the music."
Wanderer sighed. "That's nice. Listen, this isn't working out. Honey, I think we should get a divorce."
Mika continued to give off a clueless smile. "I have always been a big fan of bunnies."
"Well, I've always been a big fan of Terry Bogard. And Terry Bogard dresses like a pizza boy, and the Noid was a pizza mascot, and he looked like a bunny. You know, Mika, all this talk about Terry Bogard makes me want to get married all over again."
A siren went off.
"What's that about?"
"It's the fic sign, you moron!" Falc yelled.
"Oh. Right! Honey, I'll talk to you later. Daddy has a show to host."
[---]
Racewing saw that the fic was starting. "Where's Gavok?"
"There he is," MMK pointed. Gavok was indeed walking back to his seat. But he looked like he had just walked through a hallway made of buzz saws.
"What happened to you?" Snotty asked.
In a voice sounding exactly like Emo Phillips, Gavok explained. "It seems....... that the path.... OUT... is guarded......... by tiiiiiiiiiiiiigers." He then collapsed into his seat.
"Oh," Race said to himself. "I guess the eBay deal finally came through."
Actually, I don't think any of the female characters has ever been a Mad before.
Hmmm... there's a thought. SD and Tiffa, and maybe some of the Elmer girls as Mads for our next episode. Of course, they're using the "Gender Rights" excuse just to torture some of their favorite targets.
Retribution for such an act can only be given out by Myself, Racewing, and the other MOT perverts. :)
...I've co-Madded twice, I suggested something like 'Tiffa, SDR, and SI/someone as Mads' maybe a year ago, and SDR *is* one of the MOT Perverts (just more, uh, *focused*). ^^
Sidekicks never recieve the retribution that occurs to ful-time Mads. Jumpy, who has also never madded, was pretty much ignored in "Curse of the Nightmare." *I,* on the other hand, was chased by everyone, and on top of that, there's the whole Technodrome thing. :)
Most of them aren't Mad material. Most of them don't have the urge to tirture people with bad fanfiction. Most. I suspect that Rebecca (Self-declared genuius and Madwoman) is only a few steps away from it. Heck, I've even joked about it myself.
Of course, Natasha could bve conned into thinking she was a mad. Or she could havve had another fashion and personality flip and genuyinely be one.
Episode 201: Wanderer: Coast to Coast intro part 1
by
Just to show you guys that I'm working on it. I'll get to the rest in the next couple of days where I'll answer the questions that will arise from this. Also, I decided to have Ryukage play the role of Tanzut the announcer in this version. Until then, enjoy:
WAITING...
WAITING...
Wanderer, AoD and Falconer sat around the cafeteria, drinking their respective beverages. Besides the five full minutes of slurping and heavy sighing, not a sound was made.
"Say," Falconer said. The others continued drinking and heavily sighing for about two minutes. Falconer inserted his drink straw somewhere through his bushy beard and slurped. How they spent all this time drinking without any refills is anyone's guess.
"Anyway," he began again. "The ratings came in. We did pretty well. Number three on the Nielsen's."
Wanderer took a loud, mostly empty sip of his coffee. This lasted for about thirty seconds. "You don't say. Can I see the list?" Before Falconer could even grab it from under the table, Wanderer yelled, "Today Falconer!"
"All right! Hold on." Falconer handed him the printed results of the Nielsen ratings. "Hey, neat! We're number three *again*! The only guys before us are Urien's Dance Party and, uh... Multi... Multi... Wow, this is a big word."
"Multimediocre?" AoD asked.
"No, it's not--" AoD burped loudly, interrupting the statement. "No, it's not that. It's Multi... pass. Something, something Council. Wait... Falconer, how old is this list?"
"I don't know. From '97?"
"Well do you have anything from this week?"
"Oh, you don't want that."
"Falconer, I'm this close to trimming your beard with my katana. And you're next after that."
"Fine! Here!" Falconer angrily handed Wanderer a long, white sheet of paper with a red circle at the bottom.
Wanderer looked over the list. "Where's my name on here?"
"The bottom."
"That's impossible. I'm a hit sensation. I can't be right above Oro's Half Hour of Hip Gyrating."
AoD peered over. "You're not. You're two spots below him."
"You're telling me that the public would rather watch a homely prune, who has to be over a century and a half years old, and is wearing a collection of dirty rags, gyrate his hips for about 22 minutes plus commercial breaks?"
AoD spent a full minute taking a sip from It's mug. "It knows It would. He gets better guests."
Wanderer lowered his head and pounded the table. "Where did we go wrong?"
"Fell, for starters," said Falconer, "our biggest guests of the last season were Captain Kidd and Beans."
Burghy suddenly jumped into frame. "Did somebody say 'beans'?"
AoD tossed his coffee mug at Burghy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! IT HURTS! YOU'RE MEAN! WAAAAH!"
Wanderer was deep in thought. "What we need is a new direction." He popped up. "I know! We'll change our show to a story about Kim Kaphwan and his quest to reform all the bad guys of--"
"It's been done," Falconer told him. Then he looked inspired. "But... what if instead of Kim Kaphwan we use a monkey in a muumuu? Yeah! I can see it now!"
Wanderer crossed his arms. "That's stupid Falconer. It's stupid because it's... stupidacular. Hm... what's number one in the ratings?"
AoD looked at the list. "Reruns of MMK and Gavok's stupidacular Japanese shows."
Wanderer scratched his chin. "They should make new episodes of those."
Falconer held his hands behind his back and looked down at the screaming Burghy. Burghy had, in fact, been screaming in pain for the last minute or so. "Uh, they can't make new episodes. We have them prisoner, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I'm planning on making them fight tigers, once the eBay deal goes through. Tigers." Wanderer looked away from his partners and upward. "...Tigers..."
There was a pause for about half a minute, filled with Burghy screaming in pain.
"So anyway, why don't we just steal the ideas from one of their shows? Then we'll surely get the ratings!"
AoD stopped sipping from a second mug off coffee. "First you get the ratings. Then you get the power. Then you get the women."
Falconer looked the list over again. "Well, why don't we go with a show like Gavok's?"
"Feh. Feh, I say! How, I ask you, are we going to fit tigers into a show like that? It would... it would be..."
"Stupidacular?" AoD suggested.
"Yes! I say we go with Howard's deal. We have the stuff; we should just make some poor saps watch a bad fanfic. Like that Hutchins thing with Sakura."
Falconer gave a mix between a sigh and a grunt. "And what about the tigers you're so hung up about?"
"Falconer, Falconer, Falconer. ...Falconer. Still talking about tigers, are we? You're living in the past, man! This is the '90s. Catch up... dude."
"But it's the year two thousand and--"
"Listen, the fact is, we're wasting time. We need some more prisoners. Who do we have so far?"
AoD told him. "The Knight, Gavok and Arlieth. That's it."
"That's it? Hm... Where am I going to get a couple more victims?" Wanderer looked at Falconer, AoD and the screaming Burghy.
"We'll pound you," Falconer threatened.
Wanderer looked in Burghy's direction. "And him?"
Falconer looked at him too. "There's a chance he lost his sight. We should probably find others."
Wanderer agreed. "But where?"
Just then, Racewing the intern walked in dressed up exactly like Wanderer. "Anybody want a refill?"
Falconer broke the table over Racewing's head. Race immediately passed out. "There's one more."
Wanderer scoffed. "You can't make me believe that Racewing is a tiger."
"He's not a tiger! He's another victim for the show!"
"Oh. Good work, then."
AoD pounced onto Racewing's unconscious body and began to viciously punch him with It's fists, like they were pistons. It didn't even have an angry look on It's face. But you couldn't tell from the beating It gave.
"That's enough, AoD," Wanderer said while pulling him off. "I think he's under."
AoD nudged Racewing's arm with It's foot. "Look. He moves."
"Take this, tenacious intern!" Wanderer began kicking Racewing many times in the ribs. "Okay, I think that did it."
Burghy raised his hand while lying on his back and stopped screaming. "Can I kick him too?"
"No!" Wanderer yelled back.
"Please?"
"Okay, but make it quick. We have a show to do."
Gavok
"Then yes, I made it. For you. For Christmas."