Welcome to Mystery Octagon Theater's message board, where we write our MiSTings. Please read these guidelines:
before you submit a MiSTing post, make sure that you've checked your spelling. Please, as a favor to your long-suffering editor, adhere to the MOT Style Guide as much as possible, DAMMIT.
MOT is usually peopled by six to eight self-insertions. To get into the theater, call dibs when a new episode begins.
How to MiST: when someone posts part of a 'fic to be worked on, reply to that message with your jokes. When a section has been thoroughly worked over, we move on.
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all comments, compliments, and criticism relating to our MiSTings are encouraged and welcome on this board.
we are usually up to our collective ass in interested newbies. To handle these individuals, there is Quasispace, also known as the MOT B-Team. If you're interested in writing for MOT, go there.
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Updates [3/1/2005]: several eps are in the editing stage, and will go up when I next update the site.
The plan, such as it is, is for ep. 205 to be a MiSTing of the script for Metal Gear Solid. Nick is the Mad with TV's Austin as his lackey; theater meat includes Gavok, MMK, TBS, and Wanderer, with n00bs Viper and Zemyla. You may wish to get it started, monkeypants.
Admins: Thomas Wilde (Wanderer), the Black Snotling
It had a little too much A2P for me, but we can riff on that as part of the fnu.
Seriously but, on my screen at least, it was long enough to qualify as an episode unto itself. But if you think it's short enough to be a short, *shrug* you're the designated cat-herd around here.
...you know, between this, and the time we decided to roast IIRTT way back when, MOT has the worst timing ever. For me, anyway.
Take that semi-cryptic statement as you will. :)
The crazy thing is, I saw this the other day. This is actually tame and funny compared to this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=638158
See that? THAT'S a short. "Trophy Case" is not a short. ;) Just because we usually riff mega-epics like Warrior's Legacy, doesn't mean that something like this couldn't stand on its own.
My only thought is that it's... well, just as linear as IIRTT. Lots of fucking. Nothing *but* fucking. It doesn't even have the sorry excuse for a story that IIRTT had. (And frankly, I've seen worse lemon prose. MUCH worse.)
It's funny, I'm just wondering if it gives us anything to work with besides author-bashing, which is so passe these days. :) That Ice Climbers lemon thing I just linked to is much easier to make fun of. Give it a look.
Man... looking at the reviews for the Ice Climbers thing, I doubt we'd *ever* get permission to do that. Even if we got MMK to ask nicely. ^_^;; Still, it was a nice thought.
I'm tan (well, sunburned across the shoulders, but I never *do* apply enough sunscreen when I go to my local nudist park), rested (or, at least, getting some sleep every night), and raring to go. I even have an idea for a sketch (all the things Hutchins has booked himself as doing in Eyrie fic over the years). How does that sound to you folks?
Austin, and good day.
"Better than Hassan i Sabbah and his cold windy bodiless rock, right?"
As I'm looking at being downsized form work (No more watching anime and soft-core pr0n for a living... damn) I can safely announce that I will have Too Much Time On My Hands (TM) and htus can start at any time.
Rick R. (Who will have too much time on his hands. FEAR!)
I work in a DVD Authouring Company - the people who take tapes, encode them, make the menus, put in the chapters, etc etc etc and make the finished DVD at the other end.
Of course, someone has to *watch* it first in order to decide where to put thechapters in, and then watch the finished product to check for errors.
Said company has contracts with some film companies which mesn that we get a lot of anime and, yes, soft-core pr0n. I also get lots of B-Movies, plenty of bad, out-dated TV series and the odd "Comedy" that I'd sooner gouge my eyes out then watch. And Troma films.
But yes, I get paied to watch Anime and Soft-Core Pr0n.
Behold! The current rough draft. Mark, you can take it from here, I imagine.
Also, Mark, I got your mail with HL Part 1 in it. And just after I've wrapped up MOT113. Some timing you've got there. :)
So, yes. To sum up, folks, Dave and Dyne is in the hands of M-Po now, and I have now picked up the first half of Hopelessly Lost. The trade completed, we shall now proceed to sticking them in the spokes of our bicycles and riding around gleefully until they fall apart and stop making the neat flicky noise.
Anyway, it's good to have that done; now it's on to HL and to Forgot About Jae in about a week, and I believe this is usually the point where Gavok reminds me to check a certain message board. :)
And at some point I'll write up the intro for MOT113, and likely a skit I have in the back of my mind.
greetings, y'all. I thought I'd introduce myself proper as a fan of your work, with the hopes of hanging out here with commentary as an interested, semi-objective 3rd party.
for example, with regards as to what to tackle after WL 3/4 from Wanderer's list, I recommend sorge. his work is the prime example of what I understand to be your signature targets: shoddily written self-insertion.
The double feature to me smells to similar to some of the more recent stuff done (pr0n and eyrie). save them for later, and that way there's a cool-down period for renewing permission. still do 'em tho eventually, just not now.
pokemon master- i eagerly await watching this get torn to shreds by your expert team of rabid tiger sharks. but too soon from msting the first part.
I've been thinking idly about future episodes of MOT. Please, join me in this speculation.
Naturally, ep. 201 will be WL, and we'll cover at least chapters three and four. For other MiSTings, I'd like to mention the following choices, both obvious and not-so-obvious:
-- I'd like to make something of an audacious proposal, here: we've now got two 'fics that released new chapters after we were done MiSTing 'em. So why not combine them? This would make an upcoming MiSTing another installment of Double Feature MADNESS: first, "Warrior's Legacy," chapter 5, followed up by the third chapter of "It Isn't Raizo This Time," featuring the completely mistreated cast of Tekken.
-- as mentioned by the mysterious Secret Squirrel, "The Mark of Zenretsu" and "Castlevania: Chris's Journey of the Nocturne," the last two entries into the RyogaMKN quatrain, have yet to be MiSTed. "Mark" is most notable for its featuring the heroic death (!) of James, although I believe he's either resurrected or turned into a ghost in "Nocturne."
-- chapters five through eight of "Pokemon MASTER."
-- are there any other suggestions?
Thomas Wilde
a.k.a. Wanderer
"Where the fuck is my motherboard, dammit?!"
<< This would make an upcoming MiSTing another installment of Double Feature MADNESS: first, "Warrior's Legacy," chapter 5, followed up by the third chapter of "It Isn't Raizo This Time," featuring the completely mistreated cast of Tekken. >>
...Yeah. those two actually do have a common motif (i.e. authors bending fighting game characters into utter OOC in order to adapt them to service the plot). Put me down as willing to go along with that if other people are.
<< -- as mentioned by the mysterious Secret Squirrel, "The Mark of Zenretsu" and "Castlevania: Chris's Journey of the Nocturne," the last two entries into the RyogaMKN quatrain, have yet to be MiSTed. >>
Indeed. I'm tempted to suggest them for our next ep, just because we'(ll ha)ve done Acey and Eyrie more recently than we've done anything Sorge, but on the other hand, the scars may still be fresh from Dave and Dyne.
<< "Mark" is most notable for its featuring the heroic death (!) of James, although I believe he's either resurrected or turned into a ghost in "Nocturne." >>
He's booked himself as eternal? Oy.
<< -- chapters five through eight of "Pokemon MASTER." >>
I thought the division on that was that the next PM ep was going to cover chapters 5-7, but if you think we can fit in #8... (shrug)
Though I certainly can't say I'll be around for all of them. :)
I'm going to have to go spelunking for new fodder soon. I've seen quite a few cheesy fics lately. I recenty promised myself that I'd stay away from places like fanfiction.net if only to peserve my sanity, but perhaps a few scouting missions in the name of MOT won't hurt. :)
I think we should start branching into other games though. We're mostly FF7, RE, and Street Fighter, with the occasional wAcKy crossover thrown in. Oh, and Pokemon MASTER, which I'm still surprised y'all did. :)
Chapter out of a serial called "Smile," and it's a fairly good idea of what the whole shebang is about. Individualist philosophy, teenagers in lust, and lighthearted humour. It's well written and all, and I don't hate it, just detest Ann Ryand et al on sheer instinct.
Ooh, what's this? Crow fanfiction!
http://www.fanfiction.net/list.php?categoryid=60
I'm liking "Requiem for a Star" on sheer absurdity.
And on a similar note, ElfQuest fanfiction!
http://www.fanfiction.net/list.php?categoryid=534
Awww, yeah. "Secret of the Stone" for a short, mayhap.
MMK is quietly working on ep. 113, ep. 112 still needs a closing sketch, and the cast for ep. 201 is MMK, Gavok, Snot, Shady, Race, and Arly.
Rick: maybe you should just create a character for us to hang out with, man. The line between Elmer and us is growing a bit faint. :)
When do you guys want to start on ep. 201? I figure chapters 3 and 4 will do just fine, unless we're still all peppy when it comes time to do chapter 5.
...and desire to shadowMST, I wanted to ask what's the difference between Gav-Ok! of Wanderer:COC and regular MOT Gavok. Or is there no difference at all?
Gav-Ok! should probably just be Gavok with a couple C. Ling lines tossed in. C. Ling comes from this scene from Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. Probably my favorite episode "Curling Flower Space"
SPACE GHOST: As I moved in to enjoy the sex, terror rained down from the sky...
(A CEILING TILE HITS SPACE GHOST IN THE HEAD)
SARAH JESSICA PARKER: (LAUGHING) Oh my gosh.
SPACE GHOST: Are...there...any bones...sticking out?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER: Um, I can't tell. You're hidden by a desk.
SPACE GHOST: (VOICE-OVER) I was pinned. To the earth.
ZORAK: (VOICE-OVER) Pfft! By a freakin' ceiling tile.
(FLASHBACK ENDS)
SPACE GHOST: Don't! Don't, Don't, Don't!
ZORAK: (LAUGHS)
SPACE GHOST: This was no ordinary ceiling tile, Jerry.
JERRY SPRINGER: Okay.
SPACE GHOST: This was The C. Ling Tile!
(FLASHBACK RESUMES. A CEILING TILE WITH TWO SPRINKLER AND AN AIR VENT WALKS UP TO SPACE GHOST, WHO IS STILL LYING ON THE FLOOR.)
C. LING TILE: So, Ghost. We meet again.
SPACE GHOST: C. Ling!
C. LING TILE: That's right. I'm back.
SPACE GHOST: The pleasure is mine.
C. LING TILE: No, no, no. Correction: The pleasure is all for me! (HE STARTS SPRAYING WATER ON SPACE GHOST'S HEAD) Sprinkler! Sprinkler!
SPACE GHOST: No!
C. LING TILE: Ho-HO!
SPACE GHOST: Tap water!
C. LING TILE: (LAUGHS) Now I will freeze you! At 60 degrees! Cool air vent! Go! (STARTS BLOWING AIR ON SPACE GHOST)
SPACE GHOST: Agh!
C. LING TILE: Go together!
SPACE GHOST: He's lowering the temperature of my body!
C. LING TILE: Oh-ho-ho!
SPACE GHOST: It's all right. Contact Facilities!
C. LING TILE: You...(BANGS SPACE GHOST ON THE HEAD)...deal with it!
SPACE GHOST: Son of a...
C. LING TILE: Ha ha ha!
SPACE GHOST: Time to hang, Tile!
C. LING TILE: Asbestos powder! (START SPRAYING POWDER IN SG'S FACE)
SPACE GHOST: Agh!
C. LING TILE: Get up! Get up and face the powder!
SPACE GHOST: No!
C. LING TILE: (SNIFFS) Mmmm! Mmmmm! Suck it in, Ghost! And prepare to die!
SPACE GHOST: Not while I'm alive! Medical school!
(SG STANDS UP AND SUMMONS A GLOWING BALL OF ENERGY)
C. LING TILE: Hey! Stop!
MOLTAR: Space Ghost has mastered the five magics!
SPACE GHOST: May cause drowsiness!
C. LING TILE: No!
SPACE GHOST: From your coffin!
C. LING TILE: You don't have to throw that!
SPACE GHOST: Because you're dead! (SPACE GHOST THROWS THE BALL, CAUSING C. LING TILE TO BURST INTO FLAMES)
C. LING TILE: Hey! That hurts! No!
SPACE GHOST: Well, it looks like C. Ling will fit in perfectly...on the roof...in jail!
ZORAK: He sure will, Space Ghost!
SPACE GHOST: Moltar, that's one tile that needs to be replaced!
ZORAK: It sure does, Space Ghost!
SPACE GHOST: Shut up, Zorak!
ZORAK: (BLINK) (BLINK)
SPACE GHOST: You make me sick.
ZORAK: I do, don't I?
(ALL LAUGH)
SPACE GHOST: Now, don't we have some sex to take care of?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER: (LAUGHING) Yes.
(ALL LAUGH AGAIN AS THE FLASHBACK ENDS)
SPACE GHOST: That's how I defeated C. Ling and then, of course, did sex. (PAUSE) It was all action, Jerry. Magic and action.
JERRY SPRINGER: Unbelievable.
SPACE GHOST: And yet, very true. And yet, very true.
Or maybe it needs a few interstices. (My offer to do the sketches for 112 yet stands, as does my promise or threat to make the "What We Learned" sketch the closer.
<< When do you guys want to start on ep. 201? >>
Whenever you're ready. And I have no personal need to add in Battle 05, but if other people're still raring when we finish 04, and if 06 isn't already out by that time, I'll be there with bells on (a disturbing image if you've ever actually seen me).
> Rick: maybe you should just create a character for
> us to hang out with, man. The line between Elmer and
> us is growing a bit faint. :)
Well funny you should mention that...
In all honesty - and don't quote me on this - Elmer Studios is solwy, but surely, winding down. Our workrate is dropping as REAL LIFE takes over and we're having a harder and harder time trying to find good material. (Any donations of usable FF6, Nadesico, Bubblegum Crisis 2040 or Robotech/Macross fics would be appreciated... and no Evangelion!) I really can't see Elmer lasting beyond our BIG PLAN (TM) for ep 150, and that may be more of a farewell than anyhting else.
If such is the case, I was hoping to hold onto Rebecca... she's the closest thing i have to my Avatar, and probably the character I've put the most into.
Besides which, I wouldn't have a clue what to do for an MOT character...
>> Then again, you could come in as yourself. Just don't expect your character to remain the same when you came in.
> I think that would make me the literary equivalent of Darwin award material...
It's not really that bad. Mark Poa survived, more or less, after all. No offense, Mark.
I'd invite you and/or Rebecca to IFR, but I'm pretty sure a certain admin (who's not in charge, incidentally) will blow a gasket, or something to that effect. :p
The Darwin Award is given to anyone that takes themselves out of the gene pool though incredibly stupid means. This can be done through death (most common) or somehow making it impossible to reproduce. One award went to a woman who fell ten stories off the roof of a hotel. She was sleeping on the roof. A slanted roof. Another went to a guy that got the bright idea to toss an electrical cable into a pond to quickly kill any fish in it. He then entered the pond without taking out the cable. And then there were those memorable two guys that used a 9mm bullet as a replacement fuse.
Lest we forget the guy who died after being buried under a literal ton of freshly crapped elephant dung (he was trying to make a constipated elephant regular again. it worked).
ep. 113: is still in the capable hands of MMK, as far as I know, who will pass it like a bomber joint to whoever's interested.
The Summer Festival Spectacular: still needs more representin' over on the IFR board, for those of you who are game.
ep. 201: ...why don't we start thinking about starting this sumbitch, huh? Race and Arly called seats a *long* time ago, and I think I'm providing Mad duties in my talk-show-host incarnation, courtesy of Gav-Ok!
I suggest moving the "What We've Learned" sketch to that position (since it refers to a lot of things that don't pop up until at *least* Chapter 3) and putting something new in its current place. I realize this probably means I just volunteered to *write* that something else (those something elses, even), but I'm ready.
<< ep. 113: is still in the capable hands of MMK, as far as I know, who will pass it like a bomber joint to whoever's interested. >>
I'm not sure there's enough of me to sketchify Dave and Dyne, even if I don't end up doing the 112 sketches. It's kind've like the problem the Brains had coming up with sketches for "Monster-a-Go-Go": since the fic isn't really about anything, any sketch that *is* about anything has nothing to do with it. (Though on reflection, that gives me the Perdition-spawned vision of a "Dave and Seinfeld" sketch...)
<< The Summer Festival Spectacular: still needs more representin' over on the IFR board, for those of you who are game. >>
I'll think about actually riffing for a change, instead of just offering meta-commentary on other people's riffs. (I did a merge there once, but it seems to have gone unnoticed.)
<< ep. 201: ...why don't we start thinking about starting this sumbitch, huh? >>
Ready when you are, Mr. W.
<< Race and Arly called seats a *long* time ago, >>
"We've had this date with each other from the beginning." -- Stanley Kowalski
<< and I think I'm providing Mad duties in my talk-show-host incarnation, courtesy of Gav-Ok! >>
Looking forward to that. Can I be your assistant? Or, failing that (maybe better yet), the Mad for the next chunk of "Pokemon MASTER"?
Under WC2C rules, A.o.D. is supposed to be in the booth for this thing.
How happy (or, at least, not actively displeased) do you think It was with Knight's "MMK.o.D." act? I don't know about you, but I'd expect It to be about as "happy" with that as It was with the thong pics (cf 107 and 109).
Austin, and good day.
(Found out about my promotion to "Djinn Rear Admiral" on the crossroads session, figured that entitled me to move myself up one rank.)
But if you meant the h-man, his handicaps are none of my concern.
If, on the other hand (and as seems more likely), you meant me, I'm quite familiar with sarcasm. I simply chose not to answer it in kind because I was trying, as I said, to be civilized. If you'd like me to *stop* trying to be civilized, by all means, speak up. I'm full of self-loathing lately and would welcome a chance to vomit it up.
<< "Race and Arly called seats a *long* time ago, and I think I'm providing Mad duties in my talk-show-host incarnation, courtesy of Gav-Ok!"
So... how many other talk-show-host incarnations of Wanderer do you know? >>
Memo to me: next time, *read* what you're replying to before you reply to it. (This is something I've said in the past -- most often to Republicans responding to Democratic statements, but all too frequently to myself as well. *sigh*)
But I'm not sure if it'd work with my chronic absenteeism of late. I'll still riff when I can, but perhaps a new season calls for new blood. Blood! Mwahaha!
With "Mark of the Zenretsu"! I haven't read through the story yet, personally. But I'm sure it would be good enough fodder for those of you whom aren't already tired out from the masterfully-arranged melee of mass cross-overs!
Now, normally I just occasionally come by this board and read your MSTings as you post, (Being too impatient to actually wait for the things to be released in one lump sum...) but after hearing about another RyogaMKN travesty that, as I understand it, will *not* show up on your MSTing roster, I had to go out and read it.
And seeing as how I am pretty much a reader and not a poster, I'm normally hesitant to post anything to the board. But I just can't resist this time! Sorry! So without more ado, here's:
10-Or-So Things I've learned from Ryoga's 'Mark of the Zenretsu'
-----------------------------------------------------
10) Military briefings and secret contacts are incredibly vague. But at least you'll know when you're facing an opponent who 'has the ability to defeat many people,' or that your relation to 'some person' will protect you from psychic power.
9) Superhero leagues are full of nameless, faceless, expendable minions.
8) 12 and 13-year-old children are fitting replacements when your eons-old hellbeasts spawned from the pits of nightmare get defeated. (And I'm not talking about demons disguised as kids like in Dogma...) This is both because beating up evil kids still gets you sued, and because human beings are immune to bigass swords.
7) The sentence 'But you still respect the hell out of each other, right?' makes me giggle uncontrollably, thanks to my Inner Snotling.
6) When your opponent has a psychic on his team, whether or not you change your team's uniform is crucial to determining your success.
5) When the villain's right-hand man is defeated, you are automatically privy to the villain's vital information. The villains all know this, so they keep their right-hand men out of fights. When the villain's best soldier is stronger than the villain, the villain will volunteer to fight the heroes to the death before sending in said soldier, due to the Rule of Escalating Power. (You know the villain is evil, because he's brown. Filipinos are also brown, therefore they are also evil. Ryoga says so.)
4) The words 'Jedi' and 'Pokémon' in the same sentence make me scream like a little schoolgirl.
3) When harrassing girls on the internet, always use your partner's screen name to avoid identification.
2) Sometimes your friends hide magical staves that will turn you into a dancing girl inside your hockey stick.
1) When the ancient evil is about to be ressurected, it's always a good idea to stop for lunch. If you turn out to be too late to stop the ressurection, you can always use a big net on it.
0) When you want the crossover meter to explode, but you can't think of any way to fit them into the plot, try pointless cameos! Nobody'll understand what the hell Slimer is doing in Secret of Mana, but the story's so inane that they'll probably forget all about it by the next chapter. (Why, God? Why?!?)
-1, for good measure) Even if hockey *does* turn out to be the secret final ingredient for world peace, Disney's 'The Mighty Ducks' still makes me want to violently murder.
Summary: "WAAAH! My friend's parents won't let him play with me. I'll write a fic in which they turn out to be demonic control freaks and get destroyed! Oh, yeah, and gotta plug the previous stories in the epilogue!"
Personally, it's less annoying than RyogaMKN's earlier stuff, but after reading Mysterious Lurker X's comments, I have the urge to [ROAST] THIS JERK'S [EGO] TO [ASHES]...
I would say that whoever wants to target this literary masterpiece can do it. It's up for grabs as far as I'm concerned (being that I was the one who located it), and I'm not particularly associated with anybody here, there, or elsewhere. But I guess whatever the rules are here should apply. C'est la vie, P's and Q's, pots and pans.
...Although I do have some ideas for skits looming about in my mind for an MST of this. (shrugs)
"So as you can see," James Howard said, "the role of a Mad is at once simple and complex; very hard work and yet, once mastered, effortless. I feel that now you have had my tutlage you will find rich and rewarding careers in such sectors as human resource management, police forces, and IT.
Racewing looked puzzled. "IT?"
[You know,] Bonfire said. [IT.]
Racewing sort of visibly slumped, or as much as one can slump with a cracked collarbone in a plaster cast. "Where's Shady Lane, anyway?"
"Haven't seen her for a while," MMK said while filing his nails. "Think she went to the props room."
[She's currently in the rafters aiming a particle accelerator at James' head,] Bonfire said.
"Thanks, good buddy." Bonfire was rewarded by a small skritch, which sent him to sleep.
"I'm not too worried," the Knight said. "I mean, all her fingers are broken, right? Not much she can do."
"I'm kind of hazy on what breaking and re-setting all our bones was supposed to achieve."
_+_+_+_+_+_FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_+
"Oh Bonfire," James Howard said. "Your floppy rag-doll nature makes you so much more menacing. I wonder how I can teach my pupils these qualities?"
_+_+_+_+_+_END FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_
Elsewhere, in the theatre...
"I really don't see what the fuss was about," SAMAS opined. "Compared to our usual fare, it was a positive cakewalk."
"Cakewalk or not," Tiffa said, "there's a certain piece of Canadian luncheon meat which needs a good non-sexual violent metaphor applied to it."
"Funny you should mention that," Mark said. "I've got this theory as to why you're so aggressive all the time. I figure-"
"I figure you carry on like that and you're as dead as Snot-boy... where is he, anyway?"
"Kitchen," the other two responded.
Just then there was quite a loud explosion.
-----
"In the spirit of scientific inquiry," the Black Snotling had said, "I have taken it upon myself to find out *just what happens* when the various ingredients in this fanfic are mixed together in a blender."
"Why a blender, man?" Ice Fenix asked.
"Whyever the hell not? Now, if you would be so good as to hand me that baseball bat and suspicious glass vial of green goop..."
[]Finish it with more adventures of Albert Snottenstein (and assisstant)
[]Shady's attempt to kill Knight fails; Racewing threatens to reveal MMK's secret work as a writer for Red Shoe Diaries and MMK simply teleports the two out/dunks them in custard Bugsy Malone style.
[]The explosion opens up a hole in the wall that the others can escape through.
Sorry I can't finish it but I will at my earliest convenience. Had to get it down before forgetting it.
----
"So as you can see," James Howard said, "the role of a Mad is at once simple and complex; very hard work and yet, once mastered, effortless. I feel that now you have had my tutlage you will find rich and rewarding careers in such sectors as human resource management, police forces, and IT."
Racewing looked puzzled. "IT?"
[You know,] Bonfire said. [IT.]
Racewing sort of visibly slumped, or as much as one can slump with a cracked collarbone in a plaster cast. "Where's Shady Lane, anyway?"
"Haven't seen her for a while," MMK said while filing his nails. "Think she went to the props room."
[She's currently in the rafters aiming a particle accelerator at James' head,] Bonfire said.
"Thanks, good buddy." Bonfire was rewarded by a small skritch, which sent him to sleep.
"I'm not too worried," the Knight said. "I mean, all her fingers are broken, right? Not much she can do."
"I'm kind of hazy on what breaking and re-setting all our bones was supposed to achieve."
_+_+_+_+_+_FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_+
"Oh Bonfire," James Howard said. "Your floppy rag-doll nature makes you so much more menacing. I wonder how I can teach my pupils these qualities?"
_+_+_+_+_+_END FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_
Elsewhere, in the theatre...
"I really don't see what the fuss was about," SAMAS opined. "Compared to our usual fare, it was a positive cakewalk."
"Cakewalk or not," Tiffa said, "there's a certain piece of Canadian luncheon meat which needs a good non-sexual violent metaphor applied to it."
"Funny you should mention that," Mark said. "I've got this theory as to why you're so aggressive all the time. I figure-"
"I figure you carry on like that and you're as dead as Snot-boy... where is he, anyway?"
"Kitchen," the other two responded.
Just then there was quite a loud explosion.
-----
"In the spirit of scientific inquiry," the Black Snotling had said, from inside a crockery cupboard, "I have taken it upon myself to find out *just what happens* when the various ingredients in this fanfic are mixed together in a blender."
"Why a blender, man?" Ice Fenix asked.
"Whyever the hell not?"
"Fair enough. What you need?"
"There should be a list on the fridge." There was. It ran to twelve pages.
"Snot, dude," Ice said, scanning the pages quickly, "I don't remember there being a collector's edition Lego Yoda statue in this 'fic."
A fedora and a pair of eyes popped up over the bench. "DVD edition easter egg."
"Gotcha. Hey, from this angle, you look like Vern off Home Improvment."
"Dude!"
----
"So anyway, Mr. Howard-"
"Please," the MMK said. "Call me Boss. Or Sir. Or Candy."
"Allright... Candy... I've been digging around City Hall's land claims library and I've found this very interesting document. Title deed, one Torture Theatre, last signed by one 'Hunter.'"
The MMK turned his chair around to face Racewing slowly. "Hunter's dead, man."
"No way! I saw him only last week!"
"He's dead. Seriously. Sent a wreath to the funeral and everything."
"Uh-huh. Sure. I'm buying that."
"He morphed into his tree form and some enterprising local craftsman carved it into Rimu furniture. This place is mine."
"Would you care to repeat that..." Racewing said, then suddenly pointed at a handy door. "To my army of TEN THOUSAND LAWYERS!"
And it would've been very impressive, he mused later, had S.D Ryukage's particle accelerator hadn't misfired and incinerated them all.
-----
The blender was quire full now, with such sundry plastic double-bladed lightsabers, a shopping trolley, a Hello Kitty hip flask, gold-plated 'Furby Buggers a Pikachu' statuette (#428, Franklin Mint), a pair of five dollar sunglasses, a broken typewriter, and a Ditto doll wearing a bikini.
"That shit's wrong, dude."
The BS had traded his customary garb for a lab coat, op-shop suit and shock-white foot long afro. "No! We do this... for SCIENCE!"
Thus saying he put a bucket over the top of the blender and turned it on full.
-----
"I suppose we'd better stop him before he blows a hole in the wall," Tiffa was about to say, when a strange blaring light seared through the roof, through the kitchen, and opened up a hole into the outside world.
"Alternativly," Mark said, "We could make a break for it."
-----
Bonfire very rarely was awake, and during the time he was awake, had very few facial expressions. But had he been conscious and seen S.D and Racewing dressed in 1920's gangster clothes and covered in whipped cream, he would have probably been amused.
Certainly the MMK was. "Ha!" he said, "That'll teach you to mess around with quantum physics!"
He turned his back on them and, what with James Howard being the geometric center of the universe at any one given time, they faded away from sight.
"So, Bonfire, you up for Vigilante 8?"
------
Taken from TIME magazine, June 2, 2002.
TIME: Tell us, Mr. Gavok, what is it that makes Gavok It Name Hello the number one show in Japan and the world?
GAVOK: It's because I've got one thing that my competitors don't have.
TIME: And what's that?
GAVOK: Balls the size of watermelons.
------
------
As always feel free to add, amend, change or contribute in any way you see fit.
-Snot.
[]Finish it with more adventures of Albert Snottenstein (and assisstant)
[]Shady's attempt to kill Knight fails; Racewing threatens to reveal MMK's secret work as a writer for Red Shoe Diaries and MMK simply teleports the two out/dunks them in custard Bugsy Malone style.
[]The explosion opens up a hole in the wall that the others can escape through.
...but I've completely lost any pretense of being able to proof-read I may have had. 8p
---
----
"So as you can see," James Howard said, "the role of a Mad is at once simple and complex; very hard work and yet, once mastered, effortless. I feel that now you have had my tutlage you will find rich and rewarding careers in such sectors as human resource management, police forces, and IT."
Racewing looked puzzled. "IT?"
[You know,] Bonfire said. [IT.]
Racewing sort of visibly slumped, or as much as one can slump with a cracked collarbone in a plaster cast. "Where's Shady Lane, anyway?"
"Haven't seen her for a while," MMK said while filing his nails. "Think she went to the props room."
[She's currently in the rafters aiming a particle accelerator at James' head,] Bonfire said.
"Thanks, good buddy." Bonfire was rewarded by a small skritch, which sent him to sleep.
"I'm not too worried," the Knight said. "I mean, all her fingers are broken, right? Not much she can do."
"I'm kind of hazy on what breaking and re-setting all our bones was supposed to achieve."
_+_+_+_+_+_FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_+
"Oh Bonfire," James Howard said. "Your floppy rag-doll nature makes you so much more menacing. I wonder how I can teach my pupils these qualities?"
_+_+_+_+_+_END FLASHBACK_+_+_+_+_+_
Elsewhere, in the theatre...
"I really don't see what the fuss was about," SAMAS opined. "Compared to our usual fare, it was a positive cakewalk."
"Cakewalk or not," Tiffa said, "there's a certain piece of Canadian luncheon meat which needs a good non-sexual violent metaphor applied to it."
"Funny you should mention that," Mark said. "I've got this theory as to why you're so aggressive all the time. I figure-"
"I figure you carry on like that and you're as dead as Snot-boy... where is he, anyway?"
"Kitchen," the other two responded.
Just then there was quite a loud explosion.
-----
"In the spirit of scientific inquiry," the Black Snotling had said a few minutes earlier, from inside a crockery cupboard, "I have taken it upon myself to find out *just what happens* when the various ingredients in this fanfic are mixed together in a blender."
"Why a blender, man?" Ice Fenix asked.
"Why ever the hell not?"
"Fair enough. What you need?"
"There should be a list on the fridge." There was. It ran to twelve pages.
"Snot, dude," Ice said, scanning the pages quickly, "I don't remember there being a collector's edition Lego Yoda statue in this 'fic."
A fedora and a pair of eyes popped up over the bench. "DVD edition easter egg."
"Gotcha. Hey, from this angle, you look like Vern off Home Improvment."
"Dude!"
----
"So anyway, Mr. Howard-"
"Please," the MMK said. "Call me Boss. Or Sir. Or Candy."
"All right... Candy... I've been digging around City Hall's land claims library and I've found this very interesting document. Title deed, one Torture Theatre, last signed by one 'Hunter.'"
The MMK turned his chair around to face Racewing slowly. "Hunter's dead, man."
"No way! I saw him only last week!"
"He's dead. Seriously. Sent a wreath to the funeral and everything."
"Uh-huh. Sure. I'm buying that."
"He morphed into his tree form and some enterprising local craftsman carved it into Rimu furniture. This place is mine."
"Would you care to repeat that..." Racewing said, then suddenly pointed at a handy door. "To my army of TEN THOUSAND LAWYERS!"
And it would've been very impressive, he mused later, if S.D Ryukage's particle accelerator hadn't misfired and incinerated them all.
-----
The blender was quire full now, with such sundry plastic double-bladed lightsabers, a shopping trolley, a Hello Kitty hip flask, gold-plated 'Furby Buggers a Pikachu' statuette (#428, Franklin Mint), a pair of five dollar sunglasses, a broken typewriter, and a Ditto doll wearing a bikini.
"That shit's wrong, dude."
The BS had traded his customary garb for a lab coat, op-shop suit and shock-white foot long afro. "No! We do this... for SCIENCE!"
Thus saying he put a bucket over the top of the blender and turned it on full.
-----
"I suppose we'd better stop him before he blows a hole in the wall," Tiffa was about to say, when a strange blaring light seared through the roof, through the kitchen, and opened up a hole into the outside world.
"Alternativly," Mark said, "We could make a break for it."
-----
Bonfire very rarely was awake, and during the time he was awake, had very few facial expressions. But had he been conscious and seen S.D and Racewing dressed in 1920's gangster clothes and covered in whipped cream, he would have probably been amused.
Certainly the MMK was. "Ha!" he said, "That'll teach you to mess around with quantum physics!"
He turned his back on them and, what with James Howard being the geometric center of the universe at any one given time, they faded away from sight.
"So, Bonfire, you up for Vigilante 8?"
------
Taken from TIME magazine, June 2, 2002.
TIME: Tell us, Mr. Gavok, what is it that makes Gavok It Name Hello the number one show in Japan and the world?
GAVOK: It's because I've got one thing that my competitors don't have.
TIME: And what's that?
GAVOK: Balls the size of watermelons.
------
------
As always feel free to add, amend, change or contribute in any way you see fit.
<< "Gotcha. Hey, from this angle, you look like Vern off Home Improvment." >>
Actually, I thought the neighbor's name was Wilson.
<< gold-plated 'Furby Buggers a Pikachu' statuette >>
You just *know* somebody's going to come along, down the line, and ask what it is about MOT and the pedication (look it up) of electric rodents. We ought to be ready to list that as an obscure reference.
...I wasn't *entirely* sure what his name was; Vern just *sounded* neighbourly, and now I know it's off an entirely different show altogether. Yeah, Wilson's right.
And the statuette: We *could* change the furby to A.o.D and therefore be truer to the reference; I just thought that a furby was so much more disgustingly cuter.
---
Te BSu
Determined to make a Tem joke next MST...
<< We *could* change the furby to A.o.D and therefore be truer to the reference; I just thought that a furby was so much more disgustingly cuter. >>
And you thought right. I wasn't saying you had to change it, nor am I now saying you have to keep it as it is. I was just saying, either way, to be prepared for people to say "Jeez, I know you must hate Pikachu after that Sanchez thing, but still."
Of all the people who found this site, about two-thirds of them were looking for porn. Oh, and evidently Mr. Howard has an evil twin who writes lemons.
On his way to the supermarket Kim Kaphwan gave smile #49 (the "Gee, I forgot to wear my pants today" smile). Meanwhile, Kirby *swallowed* Rolento Schugerg and piped "Ah'm pretty and oiled up!"
I went to AltaVista and did a search on "Hentai by James Howard," sans quotes. Our site didn't appear 'till page 3; putting us at the 32nd most likely to match out of 220.
Make of that what you *will,* ladies and gentlemen.
---
The BS
If a snotling fails an armour save in the wilderness, and no-one is around to remove the figure, does it still die?
Currently compiled, it's 401K. So far, I'm working on editting it and shit. So, if any of you are still interested in riffing, please do so ASAP. I haven't gotten around to the latter parts yet, so feel free to add to them while I'm still lounging around on my ass doing nothin--er, working on the compiled version. ^^;
Incidentally, MMK (who probably couldn't get enough work) wanted to work on a more editted draft, so I'm sending a copy to him after we finish. Anyone else?