Welcome to Mystery Octagon Theater's message board, where we write our MiSTings. Please read these guidelines:
before you submit a MiSTing post, make sure that you've checked your spelling. Please, as a favor to your long-suffering editor, adhere to the MOT Style Guide as much as possible, DAMMIT.
MOT is usually peopled by six to eight self-insertions. To get into the theater, call dibs when a new episode begins.
How to MiST: when someone posts part of a 'fic to be worked on, reply to that message with your jokes. When a section has been thoroughly worked over, we move on.
please do not impersonate another user or post anonymously. Evil twins are strictly prohibited.
all comments, compliments, and criticism relating to our MiSTings are encouraged and welcome on this board.
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Updates [3/1/2005]: several eps are in the editing stage, and will go up when I next update the site.
The plan, such as it is, is for ep. 205 to be a MiSTing of the script for Metal Gear Solid. Nick is the Mad with TV's Austin as his lackey; theater meat includes Gavok, MMK, TBS, and Wanderer, with n00bs Viper and Zemyla. You may wish to get it started, monkeypants.
Admins: Thomas Wilde (Wanderer), the Black Snotling
Moving some nice posts over here from the Ballad...
by
For the record, I don't know why people think they can't post compliments here. :)
========
Notes from a reader....:
by GMW [jeemdub@netscape.net]
Heya!
I quite enjoy the MOT series! Personally, I prefer the godawful masturbatory self-insertions to the uber-perverted lemons.
RyogaMKN and Zor the Man are so terrible and ludicrous that I end up laughing too much and getting the dry heaves. PJ, on the
other hand cuts the middle man and gets straight to voiding my stomach...
Trivial notice: Technically, Zor's series bring together four series. Alkaiser, Alkarl, BlackX, Shuger, the Shining Kick attack, and
others are all from Square's epic flop SaGa Frontier. (Not to be confused with SaGa Frontier 2, which I understand to be quite
good.) Testiclops and Satanitron are all Zor, tho'...
Anyways... To the point!
Browsing the on-topic MOT board, I first saw the suggestion a while back on MSTing Pokemon MASTER, and decided I couldn't
wait to see how bad that one got. So I hunted down the actual fic and started reading...
My god! As of part 4, the similarities to Ninja Scroll are incredible! Let's go down the list, shall we?
Ninja Scroll: Begins with Jubei slaughtering bandits.
Pokemon MASTER: Begins with Ash slaughtering bandits.
Ninja Scroll: Suddenly, Jubei is attacked by a large monster made of rock.
Pokemon MASTER: Suddenly, Ash is attacked by Golemdor, a large monster made of rock. The beating scene is pretty much
identical, too.
Ninja Scroll: Jubei eventually gets poisoned and told the only way to get the antidote is to join the 'good' side.
Pokemon MASTER: Ash eventually gets poisoned, and etc. etc.
Ninja Scroll: The antidote can be acheived by screwing a poisonous chick.
Pokemon MASTER: The antidote can be achieved by screwing Misty, who poisoned Ash in the first place.
Ninja Scroll: Jubei eventually enters a temple, where he meets up with Benisato, the evil snake lady.
Pokemon MASTER: Ash eventually enters a temple, where he meets up with Misty's evil twin sister who looks nothing like her...
Ninja Scroll: Eventually, Jubei learns that the enemy is headed by someone he already killed, but who has obtained the power to
completely regenerate all damage, no matter how fatal, even though no mortal is supposed to be able to master such a
technique.
Pokemon MASTER: Eventually Ash finds out that the enemy is headed by Garias, who he already killed, and it turns out that
Garias has a technique as detailed above...
You get the point... The similarities are eerie, no? I hope somebody finds some sort of riffing material in all this...
-GMW, the random poster who flaps in the night-
========
Thanks very much
by Claude Smith
Dear Sirs,
I'm dropping you this letter to tell you how much I've enjoyed Mystery Octagon Theatre 3000. Please keep up the good work. I
look forward to seeing more from your group.
... all the similarities between Ninja Scroll and Pokemon Master are intentional. Ace actually mentions in the author's notes for the first chapter that he wanted to make Pokemon into a story 'like Ninja Scroll', which apparently entails ripping off the plot point by point and then forgetting about it entirely in roughly chapter 6.
There's also tons of ripoffs from Rurouni Kenshin and Xenogears, too. And the latter is frightening, given that Xenogears is a very long and drawn-out (if enjoyable) EVA ripoff.
I'm just going to drop a first draft right to the board. Coming off a nice day of work, I should be in the proper mode of sleep-deprivation, so....
-------------------------------
As the daunting theatre patrons made their exit from the screening area to the snack bar, Lynxara idly discussed the situation. "So, the fic's over - what now?"
"Well, hopefully, the MK palette-swap brigade gets back before the MultiMediocre Blackened Boy gets any more ideas...or fiction-that-should-not-be, for that matter." The vidstudent glanced over at a black snotling and S.D. discussing how labias become penises, and grimaced. "Better yet, they get here now, before I start a spring cleaning with a lead broom."
Zrith, busy oiling and fixing remote-shaped dents in W4, pointed to a screen above the Jolt dispenser. "I'm thinking it might be too late."
"Sooo..." said MMK.o.D., twiddling his white thumbs in front of his black-painted face, "what did you think, fleshlings?"
"Which wrong, explicit act would you like me to start with?" said Lynxara.
W4 piped up. "My memory could be wrong, but since when was Sub-Zero and Scorpion hired to work *for* Shao Kahn?"
Zrith nodded. "Yeah, last I knew, Sub-Zero's job was to assassinate Shao Kahn, or somesuch."
"Better yet," added the Vidstudent, "exactly what English teacher is letting this person get away with sentence fragments left and right? The wrongness comes with the subject matter - ugh - and, save for that, characterization wasn't that bad, even if she concentrated more on that which I gladly don't know. But...sentences come with both a subject and a predicate. Even if she wrote...well, in the last sentence, "Sentences come," it might be an invitation for Snot to ask me to shoot him, but it doesn't make me want to shoot the *author*."
"Not a bad assessment." MMK.o.D. nodded to Gunter, playing with a machine in the background. "Now, if you're all rested, iT would like to begin !+'$ next experiment."
Vidstudent, not one to swear, gritted his teeth and clicked off the safety. The others, not so restrained, let out some words of discouragement.
Then, Vidstudent stopped gritting his teeth, and went over to the wall. He tapped a rhythm on said wall and whispered something impossible to make out over the din of the others.
It was hard to tell, but it almost seemed like |^ cringed.
"What's wrong?" asked Gunter, suddenly.
"Oh, no...that...the rhythm...dude!" Now the others noticed, as the vidstudent had gone over to the wall next to the projection booth. It helped that MMK.o.D. was spasming in ways not seen since...well, the last WWF Raw, admittedly.
"Vid, what are you doing?" asked Zrith.
"Can I help?" asked W4.
"No," said Vidstudent, pointing the gun at W4. "Hmm...once more, I'd say." Everyone hushed to see what, exactly, Nick was doing.
Gunter tried to hold his partner back. "Take it easy...you don't have to..."
MMK.o.D. shouted back. "Dude...assistant...whatever, can't you hear it? And, it's even *obscure*!"
"To some, maybe," said the gun-toting Christian. Then, on the wall separating the lobby from the projectionist's booth, Nick tapped the rhythm once more, whispering,
o/~ God had a plan to end all my schemes
I had a dream He said to be... o/~
Suddenly, the wall exploded, MMK.o.D. shouting, "EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMEEE!"
Nick then shouted, "GRAB THEM!"
Miss Ryukage took Gunter by the neck, while Zrith took MMK.o.D. over to another wall and placed him none-too-gently-at-all against it.
"You won't get away with this!" spat a black-painted James Howard. We're the mads! We're more evil than you, nyah nyah nyah nyah boo boo!"
"No," said Vidstudent, "but that's because I'm getting away with *this*. W4, if you would, please set up two tables, one on top of the other."
"No problem!" said the robot, rushing over to a conveniently-placed stack nearby.
"Snot, if you would, see if you can find a Rafoil doll in Falconer's toy box over there.
"Sure thing!" said the Black Snotling, digging through a pile of chairs and other assorted blunt objects until surfacing with an odd plushie with a staff and a tag marked, "UOSSMUD".
Vid motioned S.D. over, and, to the cries of, "Hey, lemme go, what'd I do to deserve this?", they tied Gunter to the top table. A similar motion to Snot and a string pull later, the table below was lit from the staff's flames.
"And now," said the Vidstudent, pulling out a Space Gem, "the finish. Zrith?"
"Go right ahead," said Zrith, grinning as he tossed over the not-so-Lovecraftian being.
MMK.o.D. found himself caught by a vidstudent in a large, hulking, power suit. "Oh, dear."
Vidstudent climbed onto the snack bar counter, then jumped through the roof.
Lynxara, watching all this, finally decided to comment. "You never cease to amaze me, guys. You know that, don't you?"
Then, a set of palette-swapped ninjas arrived. "Hey, if you guys want out..."
"Do we *ever*!" said Zrith, W4, S.D., and Lynxara simultaneously.
A red ninja asked, "Oh, yeah, who's paying for this?"
Zrith pointed at the ceiling. "He'll be back in a jiffy."
"That's cool," said a green ninja. "Could one of you stay behind, though, just in case? We don't exactly want to be stiffed, or anything."
"He can," said S.D., pushing the Snotling towards the ninjas as she and the others ran out the door at top speed.
"HEY!" said the Snotling.
Meanwhile, on the table, Gunter's phone beeped. "Hey, Snot, or one of you ninjas, I guess - could you get that, please?"
"Sure," said a yellow ninja. He climbed up carefully, pulled the phone out of the Hunter-like Gavok's pocket, opened it up, and placed it by Gunter's ear.
"Hey, boss," said Gunter.
"Hey! Dude! You won't believe this!"
"What?"
"He's on his way down...and he...dude!"
"What, man?"
"It's gonna be...he's coming in on his back...I can't believe it..."
"You mean...a Senton Bomb?"
"2XTREME!" said both simultaneously.
The next moment, the Vidstudent, his armor glowing a light red from re-entry, went through the tables - taking Gavok with him - and applied a Heimlich maneuver at ground level to MMK. The ninjas might have been agape, had it not been for the face masks covering their mouths. The Black Snotling's mouth certainly was.
"WOW! Guys, how'd that feel? Guys?"
"Didn't hurt. Is that my stomach up there on the ceiling?"
"Could've been worse. Can't see anything, though. Some armor's in the way of my face, I think."
I'm about to delve into the constructive criticism now. Stand back. ^_^
One of the biggest challenges of writing a skit, I've found, is to avoid giving yourself the biggest role and most dialogue.
It's understandable that it happens when you have a single-author skit - people know their own characters best. From what I've seen, IFR circumvents this as best it can be done by leaving spaces in the skits for everyone to write in their own dialogue, but that can often end up with the final product seeming... jumpy, sort of. Clipped. Seeming sort of like turn-based speaking.
Hell, it's *hard* to avoid giving yourself the largest role when you're writing a skit. When I did the intro, matter of fact, I had to stop every so often and remind myself to give everyone proper representation. And, to be honest, parts of it *are* a bit me-excessive. I really couldn't think of any other way to provide background, though, so - as they say - there it is, then. ^_^
But hey, y'know, it's a first draft. Plenty to work with. :)
I mean, here's the way the thing reads right now: everyone comes out, Vidstudent gives the current situation, everyone else gives a short response to the fic and Vidstudent gives a response that's a paragraph long, Vidstudent singlehandedly draws out MMK and Gavok, Vidstudent gives everybody else instructions, Vidstudent grabs MMK and jumps through the roof, everyone else *leaves*, *both* Mads put Vidstudent over verbally, and then both Mads put Vidstudent over *physically* as Vidstudent - again, singlehandedly - easily crushes the Mads with no resistance whatsoever.
It's a slippery slope, dude. You keep this up and we'll end up with Cammy as Vidstudent's girlfriend as he defeats Shao Khan with his INCREDIBLE CHI POWERZ. What's *next*? TNN Outdoor Buck Fucker? ARE YOU A BUCK FUCKER, JOHNNY? ARE Y- no, wait, that's a completely different warning. You get my *point*. :)
As you said, though, you're working on it some more once you get back from work. (Or that's the *plan*, anyway. I know how this skitwriting thing can go. ^^)
So, some suggestions:
- Actually throw *in* some of the discussion between Snot and Shady about labias turning into penises. Come on, like there's no comedic potential *there*. :)
- On the subject of comedic potential, the ninjas *are* here for comic relief, you know. :)
- Give everyone their fair share of dialogue. Dialogue... GOOD! *waves arm from side to side* ^^
- Is it just me, or is the ending fight a bit... oh... *one-sided*, right now? :) I mean, hell, there's room for some really goofy stuff in putting *Vidstudent* in a *power suit*, and here I am thinking specifically of a DBZ-style beam-abuse air battle. :)
- And, hell, Vidstudent used the Space Gem to create the power suit in the first place - does he have the other Gems with him? Because, if he does, what if he were to use the Space Gem and accidentally *drop the rest of them*? :)
Hey, can I help write this? Because all of a sudden I'm an Idea Factory, it seems. ^^;
'Course, if you have other ideas and would rather go it alone that's cool by me. You *did* call the thing, after all. :)
-MMK
Oh, and: should we go with MMK.o.D. and Gunter as the Mads next episode, folks? Because the alternative is turning them face again, which would make 'em look like freaking Lex Lugers. ^^
Two things, though:
1) Where the *hell* is that "buck fucker" routine from? It sounds just familiar enough that it's driving me crazy.
2) Well, do you *want* to be the Mads for "Pokemon MASTER," or, if we can't get that--which seems likely, given the circumstances--"The Dave & Dyne Saga?" It's open. You can go for it.
I'd say that if we did that, though, it'd be the course of wisdom to jettison the "Gunter & MMo.D." bit.
"Buck Fucker" I stole blatantly from Penny Arcade, y'see. :)
Penny Arcade refs can be really hard to place like that. You see a Penny Arcade ref, it doesn't leap out instantly. You have to sit there going "Yeah, that's... *that's*... aargh" until it finally clicks. :)
And I don't really know about wanting Pokemon MASTER, but considering that stuff I wrote in this episode's intro I think it's kinda *obligatory* now that MMK and Gavok be the the Dave and Dyne saga Mads. :)
So if we *are* doing Pokemon MASTER, then either a) MMK and Gavok stay on as the Mads for three straight fics, kind of like how Racewing and Zahid did the four Zor fics in a row, or b) MMK and Gavok don't show up in Pokemon MASTER at all, taking them out of the picture until they make a big return for the Dave and Dyne saga and The People Rejoice in Japan. :)
I don't think taking them and putting them back in the theater would be a real good idea, because then we'd have them as Mads for one episode, in the theater for the next, and as Mads again for the episode after that. This is not WCW, and neither MMK nor Gavok are Vampiro or Lex Luger. :)
Assuming we do MASTER in the first place. Because if we don't it'll all work itself out just fine anyway. :)
And the M.M.K.o.D. and Gunter thing, yeah, I don't see that living beyond the end skit. I'll take care of it when I post up the end skit after writing for and compiling it. (And I *am* writing for and compiling it. It's all compiled and I'll post it as soon as I'm done writing. And R.Jak, dude, if you *really* wanted into the end skit that badly all you had to do was ask. :) )
First, the ninjas do not use contractions.
Second, they are supposed to be comic relief, as noted.
Third, they were sent to find the original A.o.D at his coffeeshop.
What's with everyone calling me "Miss Ryukage"? ^_^;;
by
Not that I have any *problems* with that, mind you. I'm just wondering why I'm "Miss Ryukage" when there's names like "Emmy", "Pidge", etc running around here...
...and I think I just gave MMK a perfect setup to expand past "Shady". ^_^;;
The Legend of RyuKage
Shad The Impaler
ShoRyukageken
ShinShoRyukageken
ShoRyukagereppa
ShinRyukageken
S.D.D.S. Ryukage
S.T.A.R.S. Ryukage
Slim Shady Ryukage
Hol Horse (gosh, I wonder who suggested THAT...)
Ryukaga the White Dragon
Hol Horse (oh, for the love of...)
Schtolteheim Reinbach III
S-ay. D-ay. Yukage-ray
"No way, man!" the Black Snotling said. "You start messing around with growth hormones, you're going to end up some big, fat, schugerg-like *blimp* of a sex ninja!"
"Not if they're, um, labia growth hormones," S.D Ryukage countered, scratching the back of her ear.
"Oh, right, sure, they're going to just manufacture an artificial serum to make labias *magically* grow to the length of your average penis."
"I'm sure that McDonalds' would buy a lot of it," S.D said.
"Hey, yeah!" The Snotling hopped up onto a nearby bench. "But lemme tell you my theory."
"My ears are agape with curiosity."
"Well, you know that thing Mike Myers had at the end of the first Austin Powers movie?"
"Was that the one with the fat guy and bad Star Wars jokes or the good one?"
The Snotling paused. "The one where Scott doesn't do much."
"That narrows it down. But continue."
"Well, my theory states that the sex ninja in question carry that device upon their person and whenever any hot shemale action is recquired, they whip it out and pump up their labias."
Ryukage grimaced at the thought. "You do realise that that is twice as digusting as half of "La Blue Girl" itself?
"I was aiming more for three fourths."
"It's also impossible. You saw the tape. There were no cuts, no trick photography. And it wasn't CGI. And I already tested the popcorn for high-powered LSD traces."
Dammit, the Snotling thought. I must have left that batch in the hopper.
"So it only leaves one answer," the shady dragon person said.
They both clicked their fingers and pointed at the other, speaking simultaneously.
"Circus clowns."
---
The BS
o~/It's the Nicky and Eckert show!/~O
[minor chord]
I was having trouble lifting the eleven-foot pole required, though, so I was going to offer it to one of you three anyway. I'll...well, I'll let the compiler insert it, because I *still* don't want to touch it. ^_^;;;;;
[Right after the little jumping through the roof part...]
Lynxara, watching all this, finally decided to comment. "You never cease to amaze me, guys. You know that, don't you?"
And that's about the time a railgun shell shattered a plexiglass window. The room shook again and the wall crumbled. As the dust settled, an all too familiar figure was shadowed in the doorway, accompanied by a certain set of palette-swapped ninjas and a suit of Kanazuchi power armor.
"This is gonna suck..." Gunter mumbled as he struggled to get up, but the table tipped and he fell face-first onto the ground.
"It assumes that a certain amount of fleshlings have been abusing my monopoly whilst It was out..." the dark figure snarled.
"It was horrible!" W4 replied. "It had La Blue Girl and hermaphrodites and furry porn! It scared us!"
"There were some funny parts tho," S.D. added. "You should have seen Scorpion and Sub-Zero getting..." She stopped as Zrith nudged her and pointed out the squad of ninjas. They cheerfully waved back.
The original A.o.D shook his head, almost sadly. Then he looked around at Snot, who was toasting some creme sandwiches over "Gunter's" burning back. "And where is your companion, top-hatted monstrosity and Gretchin reject?"
Snot pointed up at the ceiling.
"Same as the one with the obscenely large gun, It assumes?"
"Yup." Snot proffered the mexican foodstuff. "Want one?"
"It already ate."
"Suit yourself." Snot bit down into the sandwich, the spat it out, making a rather disgusting noise with his tongue.
A.o.D looked to the person in the power armor, who had emerged from the film room with the "Karnal Kombat" disk. "It trusts the disk is secure?"
"All checked and prepped," the figure gave the A-OK sign with its only manipulated hand.
"Then be a good sidekick and dispose of it. There should be a flamer in the back room."
"Okay, boss." He went to the back, disk in hand.
"Excuse me, um...quite ominous being, sir?" Sub-Zero asked, tapping A.o.D on the shoulder. "I need to inquire on the rewards for the services?"
"There should be a 7-11 back there." Zrith across the street. "We can pay."
"Yes!" Scorpion shouted. "Mutual paying shall provide the answer! Slurpees for everyone!"
The group of ninjas cheered and they marched off. Zrith and W4, after turning to each other, shrugged and followed.
"Sorry we had to meet like this, Lynx" S.D. apologized. "Maybe we can have coffee sometime in a more hospitable location?"
"I'd like that." Lynxara replied. The two shook hands, and S.D. walked after the group.
"Hey! HEY! I seem to be smelling burning flesh here! Snot, put me out!"
"Nah...maybe a few more hours."
Lynxara jerked a thumb at the Loonies' direction. "What about them?"
A.o.D sighed. "Oh, It is afraid that their punishment is FAR from over, madam. Now, if only that blasted employee comes back..."
The man in the power armor came back, holding a charred piece of plastic that used to be a story of the exploits of sex ninjas.
"File's done," he said. A hint of a smile crossed his face.
"Then we shall return to the coffee shop to service the lumps of flesh that come in for rush hour, refuse." He gave a glance to Lynxara. "You may accompany us if you like."
Lynxara smiled. "Well, I've had quite enough stimulation for today."
"C'mon! It'll be fun!" the figure in the power armor urged.
"HEY! I do believe I'm still on fire here!" a voice said in the back.
Lynx looked back as Snotling gnawed on what was left of the snacks and "Gunter" still smouldered on the burning table. She turned to the two. "Okay, what the hell."
"Capital." A.o.D turned to the entrance. "Be as so kind to get what is left of the door, Jakobi."
"Right, boss."
The three walked out. Meanwhile, on the table, Gunter's phone beeped. "Hey, Snot, could you get that, please?"
Snot looked up from his circus peanuts. "Sure." He climbed up carefully, pulled the phone out of the Hunter-like Gavok's pocket, opened it up, and placed it by Gunter's ear.
"Hey, boss," said Gunter.
"Hey! Dude! You won't believe this!"
"What?"
"He's on his way down...and he...dude!"
"What, man?"
"It's gonna be...he's coming in on his back...I can't believe it..."
"You mean...a Senton Bomb?"
"2XTREME!" said both simultaneously.
The next moment, the Vidstudent, his armor glowing a light red from re-entry, went through the tables - taking Gavok with him - and applied a Heimlich maneuver at ground level to MMK.
The Black Snotling's mouth certainly was agape. "WOW! Guys, how'd that feel? Guys?"
"Didn't hurt. Is that my stomach up there on the ceiling?"
"Could've been worse. Can't see anything, though. Some armor's in the way of my face, I think."
I'll be working on compiling ep. 111 this weekend, although not all *that* hard since the "Last Escape" IRC game is tomorrow night. That's turning out to be a lot more work than I thought it would be.
In any event, when I get it compiled, I'll upload it to the MOT page and post the link here, so those of you--MMK, for example--who want to work on it a little more can do so.
I think it's time that we give ourselves a break; we've been kinda rushing headlong from MSTing to MSTing for a while now, and I think we're burning out. We can work on the reMSTing of SFvMK at some time in the future, if at all.
Any thoughts, ladies, gentlemen, and Mua?
Thomas Wilde
a.k.a. Wanderer
So wired he's seeing into OTHER DIMENSIONS
> I think it's time that we give ourselves a break;
> we've been kinda rushing headlong from MSTing to > MSTing for a while now, and I think we're burning
> out. We can work on the reMSTing of SFvMK at some
> time in the future, if at all.
That'd be cool by me. I know I didn't post riffs to the last few chapters of 111 because I got burnt out doing pretty heavy riffing on the middle chapters and couldn't think of anything good. I'll probably add some more riffs in after I've seen the compiled version, since the riffing is at times more sparse than it really needs to be.
My problem isn't so much Delphi, as that most other forums with a format similar to this one don't let you post if you forget your name and e-mail and title like a moron.
And... Lynxicia? That's new, and frightens me. Good job.
I'm in complete support of a rest after this one. Not only could we all probably go for a break, but it'll give me the opportunity to actually *contribute* something. ^_^
Speaking of such, have we lined anyone up for the ending skit yet?
1) It's a Pulp Fiction parody. Those are a sort of reputational death. We really don't need to touch it.
2) There is a certain amount of bad faith between certain posters around these parts and Mr. Gange, which we don't really need to go in to right now. So riffing on one of his stories wouldn't help that any.
---
The BS
Working Cannon Spike into the FFC is fookin' classy, Racey, BTW. ^_^
He's a good author. He wrote "Hiroshi and Daisuke are Dead", which is the fic that exposed me to Ranma 1/2 in earnest. It'd be like pissing on God or something.
Besides, there's that Captain N fic we're doing for #201.
He *can* be good. ... well, he used to be good. His current projects, Ultra and Sailor Nothing, are both pretty bad and *eminently* riffable-- especially Ultra, which may well be the single most overrated fanfic in all existence, yet has *just* enough of a rabid fanbase that it *won't go away*.
Now, he has done some good stuff. I disagree with his interpretation of Slayers, but his early Slayersfics are okay (Slayers Demiurge can burn in hell, though), and I actually really liked Neofighters, which is Ultra without everything that makes Ultra really stupid and annoying. His Ranma stuff never did anything much for me, but it's probably the closest I've seen to capturing the original series flavor for awhile. I still find Gary Kleppe's Ranmafic for the most part preferable-- he *really* knows how to write series flavor for Takahashi works.
When Gagne's good, he's unriffable. When he's bad, he's a great MiSTing waiting to happen. In all forms, though, he's just bargain-basement Terry Pratchett. And Terry Pratchett in and of himself is pretty overrated, IMHO.
> It'd be like pissing on God or something.
Um... no. Gagne isn't even a very good writer by general standards, and only above-average by fanfic standards 'cause he has actual common sense, some intelligence and a fair grasp of what's dramatic and what's funny. He's not a fanfic God, and I really fail to see how he got his reputation. He's definitely not above being MiSTed (but good luck getting permission). Is everything else on the FFML and rec.arts.anime *that* bad? I mean, why does everyone make such a big deal out of him?
W4 and I have both had our issues with Twoflower in the past, and as a result, I'd ask anyone who wanted to MiST something of Twoflower's to take it outside this site. I don't want to look like I'm renewing an old feud.
For that matter, I don't think I'm qualified to be commenting on Twoflower's merit as a writer. I'm biased to begin with, as he and I had a bit of a run-in over the Ultra #13/UVR debacle, and while that hatchet is buried, I'm still never going to be Twoflower's biggest or most vocal fan. Matter of fact, I'm still a little annoyed by the whole thing; I could've handled it better than I did.
I do like some of Twoflower's stuff. As a tournament-fanfic veteran, I thought the Beta tournament was a lot of fun, even if he did skew the voting somewhat by not letting the videogame newsgroups know the tournament existed. (Hence why every time a video game character met an anime character, the anime character won.) I liked what I've read of the first Slayers 'fic, and the "A Future I'd Like To See" series on Spatula City is fairly good stuff. I'll also admit to a weird sort of fondness for the first chapter of FAQing Hostile.
The rest of his work, I either haven't read, or I hate like the burning flames of hell. I didn't much care for Ultra before #13, largely because of characterization and plotting issues; it's basically a wrestling fanfic with characters being shoehorned into that mindset (what the hell are most of these characters *doing* in an ongoing tournament like this one?), and it doesn't help that by the time I'd stopped reading it, Twoflower had both introduced one of his own characters to the storyline and basically stapled a championship belt to him. Furthermore, I think the decision to let all matches' winners be determined by the individual author was a big mistake, as it's resulted in some ridiculous decisions. (That's the advantage to a votefic. You might be biased, but your audience can drown your bias out.)
As for his reputation, it's mostly the Internet. Anyone can get a few fans on this medium, and Gagne's had both the time and the talent to build a fairly tremendous audience. I know he was already well-established by the time I got onto the 'net, and that was in mid-1996. Now, with the Improfanfic community that he basically built around himself, he's more or less untouchable.
Finally, I can't speak as to rec.arts.anime, but I was on the FFML for a while, and that place is a goddamn wasteland. Anything Twoflower stuck on that list was like a breath of fresh air to a drowning man, because at least he can spell, plot, and tell funny jokes.
Thomas Wilde
storyteller@msc.net
http://www.dimfuture.net/elsewhere/
Whoa. I didn't know that this guy was even someone.
by
I was just at a random Pulp Fiction page, found the fan-fiction site, and thought that a Ramna/Pulp Fiction corssover would make a good episode, s'all.
I guess, that, with all these little things about this guy, Twoflower, that we can't do it. Bleh. :P
Surprisingly enough, this isn't going to be a flame. (For the most part, I agree with Wanderer's viewpoints.) If flames are what you're looking for, go ask A.o.D. about 2F. ^_^;
- About 2F as a writer:
With the one glaring exception of Ultra, I think his works are good. [shrug] I'm easily entertained, and a good joke is a good joke.
Ultra, however... my big complaint when I stopped reading it were the chapter's monstrous sizes. When a chapter's average size is in the 125K range... @_@;;;
- About 2F as a person:
This may surprise you. I don't hate 2F with a flaming passion. Nor would I suspect that 2F hates me with a flaming passion. The best way to describe things would be to say that communications broke down between us, and neither one of us were particularly eager to set them back up.
Up until The Thread That Turned IFF On Its Ass(tm Alicia Ashby ^_^), 2F and I often disagreed on... well, basically everything. However, we did so in a manner such that we actually listened to each other and respected each other's rights to have different opinions.
Unfortunately, though, our biggest disagreements were on IFF, its problems and what should be done about it.
2F knows that there are people at IFF acting like jerks and generally making things miserable to others. He can't not know; he's sat through some grumble sessions, and I sent him a chat log where an admin and some IFF regulars conspired to yank a part before it was ever written. In his opinion, it's to be expected, nothing can be done, and he turns a blind eye on it. I reluctantly agree about it being expected, but a simple "Hey. Stop flaming the newbie," or an even more blunt "Get a life. It's a FRICKIN' FANFICTION," especially with his pull at IFF, could have done a lot.
It frustrates me that he just turns a blind eye. I can understand his reluctance to get involved in it; I might not have had I not been yanked in to it by the ears. [shrug]
So yeah... when I went batspit on the board, I can understand how he'd turn the IFF crowd against the one loud dissenter.
[shrug]
My position's the same as Wanderer's. If people want to roast any 2F works, I'll have to step aside. Most of his stuff I think is good, and the rest... [shrug] someone might see "W4" in the MiSTing credits and assume that it's a flame-disguised-as-a-MiST.
Among those of us who write fanfictions (offhand, I remember you, me, Racewing, Lynxara, Multimediocre, Gavok, and W4), who would you say is of high quality? I suppose my motives are like when I drilled Ryoga Mk. N--I'm trying to find out priorities...
...{dry smile} Not to mention who to direct Ryoga to the next time he comes here trumpeting his works...I wish I could have found out WHY he self-inserts to begin with (i.e. HIS justification).
In terms of anything else (i.e. syntactical correctness, symbolism, mood), I don't really rate myself and let my peers c&c me to their hearts' content.
I tend to think of myself as a pretty competent but not spectacular MiSTer, and as slightly better than average when it comes to Pokemon and Digimon fanfiction, but only because of the tendency toward those fandoms to have very young authors who don't really know how to edit or assemble a story. I'm not a great or even prolific author by any stretch... but I don't think this negates my right to call things as I see them.
Most of the guys around here who fanfic I haven't read, because their work tends to concern fandoms I'm not really involved in, like gaming or Improfanfic. I can say what I've seen of Racey's stuff has been very well-assembled and gotten me to laugh out loud once or twice, which is a feat for *any* author to pull off. I figure he's probably fairly representative of the MOT's fanficcers-- feel free to tell me if I'm wrong. ^_-
-- Alicia Ashby
Who also remembers a funny Grinch parody involing Gouki that someone around here supposedly did, but can't for the life of her remember who...
Thanks. :) However, I'm quite sure that any one of the OR's other fanfic writers outdo me in a heartbeat...
Hmm. Me? I think I'm okay, but nothing to write home about. I try not to let my head expand/get stressedover something as piddly as fanfiction (unless it involves my Sakura-chan, or something REALLY WEIRD. ^^) so I try not to judge other's fics unless they're *really* bad. Like Sorge. ^^
And I have no idea what else to say so I stop here.
-Racewing
PS: Ali, I'm curious. Just what of mine *did* you read? I never knew...
It's a SF3A/NXE crossover anti-fic, where he basically reenacts "End of Eva" with Street Fighter characters instead of black-ops troops. Also notable is, about halfway through, Shinji snapping in half and leading the assault. There's out of character, and then there's *that*.
My personal favorite moment is when Shinji shoots Misato in the head, but she still manages to get out a couple of last words afterwards.
In any event, would anyone be interested in this, perhaps as a short?
Yeah, I went and found it... it's not bad. Thing is, we're not necessarily going to send the result to SVAM, so I don't see any reason why a previous MiSTing would prevent us from working on a 'fic ourselves.
For those of you who don't know, Shinji's to lemons what Mr. Twilight is to erotic art. At least, in my opinion. Don't believe me? Read that damn thing for yourself. (I used to know where his site is... it's got lots more happy fun *script-form* lemons in it. Some of them are funny. The MvC2 one though, was just stank nasty.)
He *does* do good anime-themed filksongs though. I'll give him that. ^_^
Yeah, this thing got posted to the G. Archive months ago. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. It'd be a perfect short. What say you all?
*does some poking around and finds...*
http://fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=15568
.....
Good lord... is that HIM???
*bangs his head on the desk, for reasons you can probably figure out...*
He hangs out occasionally at the Shinji vault MiSTing chat room from time to time if I remember correctly. He doesn't seem THAT bad. I mean, I dunno why you're scared of him. You have your reason, I suppose.
...
...
I have no socks on. I'm subversive.
Why would I be scared of him? He sounds like fun. Kind of a *nut*, but hell, *he* doesn't take his stuff too seriously, so I wouldn't have anything against him. Except that MvC2 lemon. ^_^
And for the record, I've never see him in C-ko's. Neither has Tiffa it seems, and she's there a hell of a lot more than either of us. :)
Speaking as someone who regularly checks 10 o'clock's work...
by Mark Poa
I must say that he really *doesn't* take his stuff seriously...unless you come off as a jerk talking to him. I emailed him once regarding his "OMG" lemon (the one with the "Belldandy attachment"...don't ask) to critique it and he was pretty civil about it.
His lemons have the tendency to include the word schlong and other similar variations. The lemons are often non-serious and not really what you might call "classic" material, but some can be fun to read...mostly the early ones.
He's also into MSTings and I think allows others to MiST his works as long as they don't resort to author attacks.
More info: His website is at http://members.xoom.com/Shinji_2200/KNSImpact.htm
I guess, seeing as he's one of the hentai lemon writers whose works I actually *like* reading, he's not that bad in my book. At least, there hasn't been any tentacle rape in his lemons...yet. ^_^;
(Well, he did say at first that he won't be writing about anal sex or other perversities, but his later works feature these a bit. ^_^;)
10 O' Clock has *never once* been in #C-Ko'sChatHall in the three years I've hung out there. Furthermore, 10 O' Clock shares nothing in common with Tim "Shinji" McLees who runs SVAM. They're two different people. 10 C' Clock *did* used to hang out on SVAM's Message Board, but he got banned for being a flamey git whenever someone started talking about anime he didn't like. We've yet to see him since we moved to the Delphi MB.
JILL: I have this strange habit of always finding myself in zombie/Nemesis/Tyrant/dog rape situations...I'd better watch for a Jerry Springer Special and get on the show.
[A commercial flashes onscreen her TV.]
TV [flashing]: Have you ever -- or do you know someone who has -- been the victim of a zombie-rape? Then pick up your phone and call this number immedietly...
JILL: Hmm...
[...Three weeks later...]
JERRY: So, today we have on our show a woman who claims to be a member of STARS. She has been raped many times in 'fics by lemon author "PJ", and comes here today to answer a few questions. Ladies and gentlemen, Jill Valentine!
[AUDIENCE applauds as JILL walks onstage from a side door. She takes a seat.]
JERRY: So, Mrs. Valentine, how does it feel to be the constant victim of zombie rape?
JILL: I must admit, Jerry, it's a slightly...*different* experience every time. Definitely unlike anything else I've ever participated in.
[JERRY and AUDIENCE chuckles a bit]
JERRY: Now Jill, when you appear in lemons like PJ's, is there every any remorse? Do you condone it?
JILL: Well...yes and no. It can be antagonizing to wait for Capcom to deal out another game that stars your character, so on the plus side, it's good to find work. However, when PJ is one of your main..."employers", well, things can get a little strange.
JERRY: Thank you, Mrs. Valentine! And now, we'd like to bring out Rebecca Chambers and ask _her_ a few questions, too.
[from AUDIENCE, THOMAS WILDE throws a bottle at the camera operator]
JERRY: Also, at the end of the show, lemon author "PJ" will be available for comment. Stay with us, and we'll be right back.
[Fade out. Commercial break]
WOMAN: Honey! The mail came. Guess what...
MAN: More bills?
WOMAN: *sigh* Yes. Four more. How are we ever going to pay them all?
MAN: I don't know, dear...and, I'm afraid I have some more bad news. Today I just found out that I have a rare spontaneous combustion disorder. The doctors don't even know how long I have to live!
WOMAN [facepalms]: Oh, no... How did all this happen? What will we do about all this?
[Outside the house, on the sidewalk]
SALESMAN: Is this you? Are your days filled with strife and despair? Well, now there's hope for you...AquaCure. AquaCure is a revolutionary new product that has the cute and mysterious tag line, "Escape to Ecstasy!". While we don't really know what this product does, rest assured that only three out of seven laboratory rats developed severe itching, painful rashes, suicidal tendencies, and crushing migraines. This product has been fully approved by the Umbrella Board of Health. Try AquaCure and watch your problems fade away!
[Cut to inside of house]
WOMAN: Wow, this *IS* is good! Heh heh...try some, baby.
MAN: Escape to Ecstasy? Why? I've been there all along, hee hee!
WOMAN: Bills? What bills? They sure make great paper airplanes! Whee!
[WOMAN passes out and falls to the floor]
MAN: Woah, this stuff is (hack, hack)...*strong!* Man, heh heh...ohhh... *Boy* do I feel huuungryyy...
[Outside of house again]
SALESMAN: As you see here, it's AquaCure is quite safe, with only minimal side effects. And remember: All out of seven Umbrella executives recommend AcuaCure. AquaCure: try it today and escape to ecstasy!
[A low, inhuman groan comes from the house, followed by the sound of spontaneous combustion]
SALESMAN [speaking very rapidly in a low voice]: AquaCure is a product of Umbrella Incorporated. By using it, you have agreed to sell your soul and become a wandering mutant of the undead. Some restrictions apply. Use creatively as directed. Umbrella is not responsible for the loss of limbs, self-control, family members, the USA's 2001 presidential election, or your sanity. AquaCure is fully recommended by the guard staff of the government facility Los Alamos. If you are currently taking AquaCure and are experiencing problems, try switching to a higher dose. Should problems persist, then check to see if you are first removing the lid. If you still have no luck, then you are hopelessly screwed and had better move immediately to Raccoon City, USA.
[Jerry Springer theme, and the show returns. The AUDIENCE is applauding.]
JERRY: Thank you, thank you. Welcome back. On today's show, we have with us STARS member Jill Valentine. Previously, we had been asking Jill a few questions about her zombie-rape experiences. Now, we are about to bring out a fellow STARS member, Rebecca Chambers.
[AUDIENCE cheers and claps as usual. REBECCA sits down next to JILL.]
JERRY: So, Becky, I understand that you too had a slight run-in with lemon author PJ. Tell us about that.
REBECCA: Fortunately, I didn't have to go through as much as Jill here did. I only got stuck in a single PJ-fic.
JERRY: Which one was that?
REBECCA: It took place near the ending of Resident Evil 1, when the Tyrant is first discovered. PJ lets the Tyrant do all sorts of unpleasant things to me and Jill.
JERRY: I see, I see. So, as I understand it, you wouldn't mind getting back at PJ for putting you into that situation, is that correct?
REBECCA: Jerry, if I had some help, I'd blast his little lemon-writing ass into next Tuesday.
JERRY: Funny you should mention that, Becky, because now, we would like to bring out our last special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome PJ!
[As PJ enters the stage, not a sound is made. All of the sudden, the sound man realizes his mistake, and flips on the "APPLAUSE" light. The AUDIENCE begins to clap.]
[While PJ strolls towards his seat, REBECCA stands up, faces him, and begins swinging. The two start to fight. A security guard jumps up and attempts to separate them.]
AUDIENCE: JER-REE! JER-REE! JER-REE! JER-REE...!
[PJ and REBECCA are finally calmed down and seated.]
JERRY: So...PJ. What exactly does that mean?
PJ: It means "BioDread."
JERRY: Fine...so what is "BioDread" supposed to mean?
PJ: It's my really cool alias so all my friends who read my work will know that the author is me, PJ.
JILL [muttering under her breath]: *What* friends?
JERRY: All right...so, as we now understand it, you employed these two young women to appear in your lemon-fics. It that true?
PJ: Yeah. They were great. I can just remember the time when--
JERRY [interrupting PJ]: I'm sure you can. Well, we have you here on the show today because both Jill and Rebecca have something that they want to say to you. Girls...?
JILL: Thank you, Jerry. [she pulls out a walkie-talkie] Barry? Yeah, it's me. Go ahead and send in the package.
[A moment later, there is a loud whirring overhead, and a special panel in the ceiling opens up. Outside, a helicopter lowers a large cylinder onto the stage. JILL and REBECCA run up to it and unfasten the cables. The helicopter flies off, and the roof replaces itself.]
JILL: PJ, as a display of affection for featuring us in your horrific little...lemons...Becky and I now present to you...
[JILL presses a button on the side of the cylinder. It hisses open in a cloud of smoke, and a monstrous creature steps forth.]
JILL: ...Shinji Mikami, in his Tyrant form...
REBECCA: ...Post-injected will five unstable test versions of the G-virus!
PJ: ...EEP!
[Mikami chases PJ offstage in a flurry of swipes and leaps. The two disappear out the side stage door.]
JILL: It's...It's over now.
[From the back of the AUDIENCE, a cloaked figure that some might recognize as BITTER IRONY slips out the rear exit.]
JERRY: Folks, we'd like to thank you all for coming out and seeing the show.
[JERRY stands still for his "final thoughts"]
JERRY: All of us like fanfiction, in some shape or form. However, if you have a friend or family member (note the difference) that enjoys reading lemons by PJ, then I urge you, *PLEASE* get him help. See, once one finds himself enjoying violent scenes of graphic, bloody, horrific zombie/sister/tyrant/spider/worm/nemesis rape, then there is rarely any hope for him. Rest assured, should you ever happen across such a case, then there's always a toll-free number that you can have them call: 1-888-PJ8-FDDR. Until next time, take care of yourselves.
There you have it. I know it's a little out-of-place for the current 'fic (or not, considering it's also a lemon), but we might want to impliment it into a future episode.
The only thing about this sketch, is that it's both a sketch *and* a comercial.
This might make it a bit difficult to work into an episode intro, middle, or ending, but perhaps it could be used in a scene where one or more of the characters are watching TV or something.
Reel in strain and hook up that IV unit...PJ's back and he's as disillusioned as ever!
Watch in awe as Umbrella trator Albert Wesker single-handedly captures Vampirella and transports her back to his new employer's lair! Gasp in shock as Wesker takes advantage of his "free time", and does very, very wrong things with his reproduction aperatus! Laugh hystaricly as PJ not only resurects Rebecca Chambers *(in a mannor of speaking)*, but actualy lets his main characters *live* for a change! *Three* of them, to boot!
Marvel at the fact that an author who's works total *megabites* of space won't acknowladge Albert Wesker's real name! (No, there is no one named Alfred Wesker. Stop asking, you.)
Cringe as PJ makes his usual ass of himself while you tour his usual Resident Evil *la tour deja meurtait la elle* , and makes us all wish that our parents had never been born!
While reading, the tired cliches will soon wash over you, so I hope you brought your Umbrella. Remember: It's *their* internet, he's just using it.
--Phil
"Give her your vest, Wesker," said Vampie.
"She looks just fine as she is," leered Alfred.
When a bloodthirsty mercenary and a special police force woman in a tube top and leather skirt hate each other VEEEEEEEEERY much, it is bound that said mercenary would put hoo-hah into said woman. It's hentai logic, young man. And I am glad it has yet to form a Breath of Fire dojin. :P
This is a Skies of Arcadia fanfic from fanfiction.net. Note how the first thing the author does is kill off one of the main characters, and the *second* thing he/she does is resurrect the game's main villain.
I'm not looking to MiST this, as the entire reason I found it was someone dibsing it on SVAM's Delphi forum, but it's hideous enough that I thought I'd pass on the link.