Last year my docs and I went through four surgeries. That being the case the neuro that I have is trying everything that she can think of to keep me off the table this year. While I am appreciative of that fact I am still very frustrated with the pain and discomfort that I have been experiencing.
We tried to "detox" my body from all the meds that the previous neuro had put me on believing that they were part of the problem. I understand that not only do I have the headaches and nausea from the hydro but I also have migraine headaches. That being the case the neruo says that the meds that I was taking to treat one thing were triggering the other. I don't know if this is true or not, all I know is that all I wanted was to be able to function like I used to. I had been on Depakote which aparently did some damage to my liver.I was also on Darvocet which has aparently damaged the lining of my stomach. Now they have changed me back to Topamax and Elavil. I was on both of these meds when I was first diagnosed 7 years ago.
It has only been five nights back on these meds and I don't know if I can do this again! I am only at 25 mgs of Topamax at this point. In the next three weeks I am supposed to increse the dosage up to 100mgs a night. I am already having issues dealing with the numbness in my face and in my hands. I am afraid that I will not be able to function when I hit the 100mg mark.
This is a huge issue to me because I have tried not to let having hydro change the way that I live my life. I still work 40 hours a week as a custodion at a school. This is a physical job and calls for me to be able to keep up a good pace. when my hands go numb or tingle that is hard to do. I also can't help but feel bad about not being able to smile. It is stupid I know but, I work around 5-8yr olds and I don't want them to think I am a grump. The last time I had to deal with this I was working at a high school and a teacher smiled at me and I tried to smile back but, I could'nt feel my face. I still feel bad wondering if they thought I was being rude.
How are we expected to watch our bodies go though all of these changes and not begin to fall apart emotionally too? When I have to fill out paperwork letting my employer know what meds I am on in the event that there is an emergency at work an 911 is called and there is not enough space for the information. How am I supposed to handle that?
How do I make this work when I am not sure I can?
I would love to know how you all make it work!
Linda