Linda,
I know surgery is something everyone wants to avoid, but if it means resolving an issue, I say the benefits should out way the stress of the surgery.
What have your docs checked for? I've had some of the symptoms you are describing and suffered for over 10 years until I found the right doctors that found the right issues. MY issues ended up being an over active shunt. Alot of neurosurgeons miss this diagnosis because they only look at the size of the vents. With an over active shunt, the vents don't change. Water is not drained from the vents but from the aquaducts going into the vents. Ask your neuro if your aquaducts are small. If they are, your shunt is taking too much from the aquaducts which effects your body, not your vents.
I hope you have a programmable shunt so that you do not have to go through surgery to lower your setting like I have to. And I'm still waiting for the surgery even though I was diagnosed in May. I've had complications that made me go to two different neurosurgeons that disagreed with each other, but also two different neurologists that helped sway the other neurosurgeon to the correct diagnosis.
I've also had other complications that caused them to hols up the surgery, but am tentatively set for Nov 9. This will be my 5th surgery, with my last one being over 15 years ago. I'm not looking forward to the surgery, but I'm looking forward to having a life back when it's over.
Good luck, and keep a positive attitude. I know it's hard, but one can always be found. It's okay to get down, just try not to stay there.