America - Love it or Leave it
Republicans think that everything belongs to them. While sometimes their looting sprees are hard to stop, there is one thing we can keep them from stealing - the flag. It's about time liberals learned to say : America: Love it or Leave it.
Here are a few lines to practice:
Hate those damn Feminazis that are running America? The burka is still more or less fasionable in Afgaistan, though if you want to be certain the bra-burners are under control, Saudi Arabia is the place to be. You'll also be happy to see your tax dollars at work there, with military bases built by Bin Laden's family.
Hate that America's evil, evil gun control? Catch a flight to Somolia. You'll feel very safe knowing that
you'll live in a polite society where even the kids have AK-47s and you can pick up a rocket launcher at your local market. Safe to walk the streets at night? Well, safe to be dragged, anyway.
Don't you just hate how in America the government isn't run like a business? Wouldn't it be better if the government and business where the same thing, run by the same people? Well, the USSR used to be just that, before a coalition of labor unionists, enviromentalists, hippies and anarchist punks vandalized the Berlin wall.
Do you think America needs "labour market reform and deregulation", and "reform of the social security system"? I quoting the IMF orders to Argentina from March 2000.
Don't you just hate how America doesn't execute enough people? Especially traitors? Maybe you and Ann Coulter would feel at home in Palestine, where more people have been excecuted for treason than have been killed by Israelis.
Hate how America has taken God out of the schools? Pretty well any Middle Eastern country is ready to welcome you. If you think the tend commandments would make a cool poster, take a look at this inspiring faith-based highjacked-plane-crashing school poster. Pre-9/11 and never spotted by the CIA, of course.
(Caption reads: "I am supported by God, to
die for God").
And America, the great satan, spoils its children! They need dicipine! They should have their hands cut off for shoplifting, like they do in Iran. No talk about "teaching violence is acceptable" over there. I mean, who ever head of any of them doing anything violent? If you like how Newt Gingrich made sure his very first act was to cancel school breakfasts, you'll want to send you kids to India, where they'll learn the value of hard work by being chained to their looms.
And doesn't America the evil have evil death taxes? In the Dominican Republic 0.07% of landowners own 45 of the land. That's what republicans mean when they say "small farmers" - small amounts of people who own all of the farms.
Don't you just hate how few Americans understand that greed is not only a virtue, but their patriotic duty? Take advice from this Zairian teacher: "When we ask young pupils what they want to be later on, they invariable answer that they want to become big businessmen...so they can give everyone orders, make a lot of money and do very little work...If asked "why do you cheat and swindle others", many reply straightforwardly, "because we are Zairians"".
But then, that teacher was probably just bitter because "They only earn 300 - 350 a month, yet a sack of flour costs 740. A family can live for two weeks on one sack if they only eat once a day" according to a Nun.
In Zaire even the roads were in essence privatized: "local residents and entrepreneurs, religious groups and some large companies have attempted to maintain some roads but with limited success nationwide" according to the Library of Congress. Indipendent unions, of course, are outlawed.
And damn those expensive government workers in great-Satan-America! You'll get more for your money in Cochabamba, Bolivia: they even privatized the water system, and the prices only rose by 200%.
And now, where are liberals to go?
For some reason, we are never told to go to Europe. You know, Europe, the place that proves
liberalism beats conservatism on all counts - oh, I forgot, the women don't shave their legs there. That changes EVERYTHING.
For news about South America, see http://www.americas.org
For other third world news, see http://www.oneworld.org
for more of my rants see http://www.geocities.com/arthursank/faq.html