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For Scott re: Not Alone

January 10 2004 at 9:59 PM
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Scott - So many posts have been coming onto this forum lately that we move up the page fast. Rather than risk this being unnoticed down below, I'm moving it to the top.

You said, ". . . . and then to hear what the guys are saying and then I think that one of those girls could be Shelly or Jen and I get upset."

What is happening is that your teammates don't know how to handle the near-visibility of girls' parts that are normally concealed, Therefore they handle it badly.

It goes like this. Every child has a normal curiosity about the human body that can only be satisfied by seeing bodies of various kinds, sizes, shapes, ages, etc. At least the child needs to see the bodies of its parents and brothers and sisters. This is a natural part of the child learning about his/her body.

Children who are deprived of this normal learning are disadvantaged when they hit the teens years and all those raging hormones kick in. Then a glimpse of what they have been deprived of is sexually stimulating, particularly for boys, and they respond with crude comments.

My guess is that you are the only guy on the team who routinely has nude time in and around the pool with his sister, parents, and even a cousin. With this advantage you naturally respond at school in a more mature way. You know from experience that nudity (or near nudity) doesn't equal sex.

And there's something else. We learned from earlier posts that your parents are wisely providing you with straightforward support as your own journey into manhood is progressing. There won't be many guys on your team who are getting that kind of family support either.

So...cut your underprivileged friends some slack. Just keep being yourself. Keep cool. Trust your own instincts. You'll do fine, and the girls will appreciate you for it.

And if, at the right time, you are blessed to become a father, try to keep all this in mind.

 
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Peter
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out in the open!

January 11 2004, 9:45 AM 

I have not followed the thread below in its entirety, so please excuse me if I am repeating something already mentioned. It is very apparent that partial or revealing clothing can be sexually stimulating, whilst complete nudity is not in a non-sexual situation. I was told at a naturist club that many years ago they were enjoying a normal day and nobody took any particular notice of a woman who was nude like everybody else: but as she returned to the sunlawn to say goodbye, all the menÂ’ eyes stood out on stalks- it was the first time they had seen somebody wearing a mini-skirt! If you are at a naturist beach surrounded by lots of naked women, you cannot help your eyes being drawn to the only one wearing a bikini! I am sure that if public nudity was generally accepted, among the first to complain would be the owners of strip clubs and similar!

 
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Scott
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Swim Suits

January 12 2004, 8:05 AM 

Several of you have taken the time to respond to my posting and I say "thank you". Your comments help me understand some of my teammates but it still bothers me. I have gotten used to the practice swims suits for us guys, actually they feel good and we race well in them. Someone suggested I talk with the coach. I was thinking about that before and then someone else thought it too and I think I am going to do that today.
As to the topless posting you know how we as a family feel that it is okay in the right places. I think if the girls swim team wore bikini bottoms and no tops that it would be better but I guess I shouldn't hold my breath. When Shelly got Muffin's photo she wasn't sure if she should let me see it. So she asked my parents and after we talked and they saw it first I was able to see it. We don't believe there is anything wrong with a women's breats being in a photo like this only when a women as seen as sex object is it wrong. My comment on your picture Muffin was "she looks so peaceful". Scott

 
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Boyd Allen
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Talking to your coach

January 12 2004, 2:39 PM 

If you do decide to talk to your coach, make sure you have your answers straight. They can talk circles around you.

On the positive side, please let us know how it came out. I'm sure it would be an interesting conversation.

You weren't with us at the time, but a while back I asked my pastor over and got all my material from my website together, and as many facts and arguments I can pull together.

Then we sat down (with my wife) and we discussed our naturism. He didn't bat an eye. He agreed with us, didn't even need the material I carefully pulled together! We got off on another subject about our church (we are a part of the church leadership team).

To this day, he has not said much about it. He told a joke to me one day that was related to naturism. (Can't remember what it was).

So you would be surprised at how some can relate to your naturism.

And come to think of it, wasn't your coach involved in the swim suit selection? If he had a problem with the body, I don't think he would have allowed an outfit like that. A slight shift I believe some of us here have overlooked!

You may have a chance after all our young padawan!

Boyd "Live nude and prosper" Allen



 
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Scott
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Talking to the coach

January 12 2004, 6:20 PM 

Dear Mr. Boyd and everyone else,

I asked the coach if I could talk with him privately for a few minutes when our practice was finished. He said yes. So after practice was sat on the bench by the pool and I explained to him my feelings about the new practice swim suits. He told me that they were part of a deal with the company that if we would help test them and give the company feedback then the school would get all new racing suits next year at no cost. He had not seen the suits before this season. I told him that at first I didn't like these suits but that I have gotten used to it and it is okay for me. He had picked up on some of the comments from the guys and had heard from some of the girls and a few parents of the girls that they were not happy with the suits. I also told him how these comments by the guys upset me. I told him that at home I swim nude, but I did not say anything about my family except that this is okay with them. He said he remembers his dad talking about nude men's swimming at the Y. He said he didn't think that would work, but thought it was a good idea. He will think about what I said and what he has heard from others. At least I feel I was able to talk and he listened and knows where I stand. It wouldn't be right for me to not say anything. Thank you all for your support, Scott

 
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Thumbs up!

January 12 2004, 6:34 PM 

Scott, good for you. You handled your concerns in a responsibile and appropriate way. No matter what the eventual outcome will be, you'll know you did what you needed to do. You also know that you're not the only with these concerns.




 
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Nude Teen
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{{{Scott}}}

January 12 2004, 7:48 PM 

Hey Scott I emailed you through Dr. Sherri and wanted you to now how very proud I am of you I think what you did took alot of power from inside and tells me what kind of a person you are. Thanks for standing up for what you believe. Are parents talked tonite and I guess you and Shelly now that it was decided that Saturday was going to be the best wether day with partly cloudy and in the 70's Monday won't be that nice so we will have are first meeting on Saturday your parents are going to drive you here and meet with my parents and then your parents said they have some things to do in are area and then they will come back and get you. So maybe it will be warm enough for some time at the pool I now my father will make the pool as warm as he can if he thinks there is a chance we might get to use it. I am really really getting excited about this!!! We have really great parents and I {{{Scott}}} luv, Jen

 
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Boyd Allen
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Great job!

January 13 2004, 9:14 AM 

Good coaches listens well. Thats half their job.

I am glad you were able to sit down with him and talk to him.

I am thinking about a way I can create some "business cards" with this website and forum on it and put it in a PDF (Acrobat Reader) format. Then anyone can pull it down, print it out, cut them out business card size and give them to people as they discuss naturism with them. You can give out as many as you want since you can print as many as you want. That way, if they are interested in looking into naturism, they can have a card with them and you will have instant information on hand.

Please keep us updated on your progress. Your coach may come back and ask for more information, but you may feel a little more free to talk to your team mates as well. (Of course, start with your closest friends).

Boyd


 
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Scott
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Practice Suits

January 13 2004, 7:09 PM 

The coach had a meeting with both the boys and girls together at the beginning of practice. Guess I wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable. The boys will continue to wear the trial suits; however the girls have the option of wearing the trial suits or the old practice suits. We will all wear our team suits for the meets. Feeling relieved and tired. Scott

 
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Muffin
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Proud of you!

January 13 2004, 7:18 PM 

Scott - we are all so proud of you!!! When are we going to see your picture? Also waiting to see if we can get a pic of your cuz. Thanks for standing up for what you believe - it takes a real man to do that.
{{Scott}} Muffin

 
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Leadership

January 13 2004, 7:58 PM 

Scott -

Perhaps no one has put it to you this way, but when you talked to the coach you were acting as a leader.

The world never has enough quality leaders. Those who grow into that role can go anywhere in life and do anything. And you've started!

 
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KuzeN
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"One Person"

January 14 2004, 12:01 PM 

Scott,

It is said that one person can make a difference. Then, "everybody" asks, 'how can any one person make any difference? There are too, too many people. One person's voice gets lost.'

All too often, that is the case. The 'voice' is just ignored. Sometimes, the 'voice' is heard. Other swimmers had told your coach that they felt uncomfortable; that's one thing. You were able to express the reasons for the discomfort. Then, 'it made sense'.

Again, to pat you on the shoulder, you're way, way ahead of the 'average bare'. Don't be surprised if you hear from some of the 'big dudes' about someone's getting the girls' out of wearing their experimental suits.

KuzeN

P. S. Becky, again, your two young'uns are credits to you and 'Mr. Becky'. I may be wrong, but am willing to hazard a guess that both sets of parents are looking forward to meeting the 'other crew' this weekend.

 
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Matt & Sue
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Proud

January 14 2004, 8:44 AM 

Scott - just wanted you to know how proud we are of you; although you were not alone you made your voice heard in a respectful way. Sounds like a good compromise - at least for the girls who are more modest. We agree though that nude swimming is best - even with the "drag" and "dangle" factor.We have three younger children: Scott, Beth and Maggie. Our Scott seems alot like you. We hope our kids grow up with the moral sense and yet comfort and respect that you show with your body (and others) Matt & Sue / Five Bears

 
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