Someone told me that there was this forum on the internet for Christian nudist. I finally found you and have a question. We are a Christian family and we have two daughters one is 11 and one is 14. The older girl (I will call her Liz) has been going to the beach this past spring and summer with a friend from school who is old enough to drive. Her friend is a nice young girl. We are somewhat casual at home and so it is not unusual for me to see my girls nude. In fact Liz has been sleeping nude off and on since she was in the fifth grade. I noticed that when Liz came out of the shower the other day that she did not have any tan lines. I had assumed that she was moving her bikini straps so there were not tan lines there, but she was totally tan. When I asked her she said that she and her friend have been going to the nude beach. I haven't said anything to her dad and I just listened. I'm not sure about this. Would appreciate any ideas?
The first thing I would do is pray and listen to what the Spirit has to say. Listen to your own spirit as well. Are you angry, hurt, concerned? After this, I would have a talk with Liz and try to understand her feelings about her activities and how she might see them in light of her faith. I think I would also express the fact that you would have liked it if she had been up front with you about where she was going. I don’t know how well you know her friend, but what are her friend’s values? How about her parents? Naturism can be a wonderful thing, but minors need to understand that the world is not always a nice place. Fourteen is probably a bit young to decide on where and when a young lady might go nude. Perhaps this is something that you could do together so that she not only has the right perspective, but a chaperon as well. Her father needs to know what is going on as well and only you know how and when is best to tell him. Lastly, listen to what others on this page have to say. I am somewhat new to all this myself and they may have better advice to give.
I congratulate you for doing some research before reaching a decision about your daughter going to the nude beach in the future. If you read both Boyd's excellent discussions of social nudity from a Christian perspective, plus discussions in the forum, you will have a good understanding of the issues.
I am sure you are concerned about both the propriety and safety of what your daughter and her friend have been doing. Nakedspirit offered several suggestions that I fully support. I really believe this should be a family decision based on all the facts, and the best interests of your family.
Given your statement of there being a somewhat causal attitude toward nudity within the home, this would be a good starting point. Discussing the open acceptance of nudity by family members within the home would allow everyone to become comfortable with what may seem a pretty radical idea.
You don't indicate wheather the beach your daughter has been using is legally recognized for nude use, or only is recognized by custom. I think visiting the beach and gaining first hand knowledge of the conditions is essential for making a decision about your daughter going there with only her friend. It would make a great mom/daughter outing.
Best wishes. This can have a very positive benefit for the entire family.
I agree with what our friends have already said. I think your daughter may be testing the waters of her independence a little bit, and since she is your oldest daughter, you are learning for the first time how to prepare your teen for adulthood in a safe and responsible manner.
I have been an independent adult for quite a few years, but I still let my immediate family know if I am going out of town, provide them a means of reaching me unless it's a campout.
I personally would want children of your daughter's age within sight of adults whom I knew. I feel the same way about visiting any beach, clothed or nude. When she gets to be 17, I would feel comfortable allowing a daughter to go to the beach (nude or clothed) with a teen friend. Are my values too strict for your family? That's for you to decide.
Your daughter might whine a little bit about having to call you on a cell phone periodically, but it would sure give you a lot of peace of mind wouldn't it? There is a danger of making too big a scene about this. She was less than fully candid with you and that was wrong, but I wouldn't be too harsh with her.
I am a Christian nudist and I do not object to visiting a nudist beach. In fact, I think that we honor God by living nude (the way he made us)when the conditions allow. If you have never been nude on a beach you are in for a treat. It's much more comfortable and makes you feel more in touch with nature and perhaps more in touch with the Lord, too.
You seem willing to consider the merits of Christian nudity, so why don't you visit Boyd's main Web page where some helpful information is posted. Social nudity is an issue that many Christians haven't really given much thought to. And you and your husband should probably take some time to read the articles, follow along in your Bible and post your questions here to discuss with us. Boyd's is a good place to start, but there are many other helpful Christian nudist Web sites we can help you find as well.
Then, if you both feel prepared to discuss it, you can have a casual conversation in which you let her know where you stand on this issue. Families don't thrive on secrets. Your daughter should feel free to disagree with you and yet be willing to live by house rules until she comes of age.
Welcome to this Forum. It is a very safe Board. When there is something that shouldn't be here gets tended to very quickly.
I tend to 'Rain on the Parade'. Just see some of my earlier responses to 'Nudely Wed' and others. I really am just trying to figure what might go wrong. If you know there is a Silver Lining to the Cloud, 'you' have to be aware that the cloud is thick and dark enough to make the Silver Lining. Knowing how to navigate that dark cloud is what makes the Silver Lining worth the efforts. Object:; To get those Precious Teens through Adolesence and its perils to Nude Young Christian Ladies.
You have already been given excellant advice. You, your Husband, Miss 14, and Miss Pre-teen need to get togther, not necessarilly all at the same time, to discuss this situation. Remember, what you do to Miss-14 lands on Miss-11!! At sometime, Hubby and Miss-14 need to be together for a discussion. You know him better than anyone else. Pick your teritory.
"Fourteen is probably a bit young to decide on where and when a young lady might go nude. Perhaps this is something that you could do together so that she not only has the right perspective, but a chaperon as well."
A 14 year-old girl going nude on a beach - where ever - is O. K. It's the where, when, and under whose supervision that maks the difference.
Here comes some rain:: As I understand this case, the other Young Lady has a drivers license and is allowed to go about on her own, at least to some extent. Girls, remember this!! PREDATORS identify and follow young girs. You aren't likely to identify them since most of them don't look and act as predators. They don't hold up big signs reading, 'I'm a Predator!!'
More rain:: Predators follow you home, identify your patterns - you go here, hang out there, leave now, and arrive home when. They figure out when you [and your little Sister] are alone at home. Once he has/they have you in their grasp, you are helpless. Even if your Mom is home, most likely all of you are helpless. VARY YOUR COURSES AND TIMES. IF THE BAD GUY[S] CAN'T PIN YOU DOWN, YOU'RE SAFER!!
Another predator:: They identify you as being "NEKKID' on the beach, etc. They have no intention of being caught for 'physically' harming you. They figure if you won't wear clothes 'then', you aren't wearing underware 'now'. They employ cameras and get very, very close to 'you' and use a camera up your skirt. Such shots wind up in a 'private collection' or on the Internet.
I'm drawing a conclusion - that you have a SAFE AND SECURE area, for example:: a backyard, for naturism. If it isn't safe and secure, make it so. If it can't be made safe and secure, look like 'Gibson Girls of ther 1890's. Also, don't be nude anywhere 'you' can be seen. For example, near windows which be blacked out. You may be a 'Star' on some porn site or in a sick person's collection. Another trick is to get a 'head shot' of a beautiful young teen and graft it onto the body of a '10'. Happens all of the time.
Suggestion - have a Mom and Miss-14 'Nude Picnic' - Just the two you at home, curl up by the cheery glow of the monitor. Go back to about October 2003, on this Forum. Start looking at the postings where 'Nude Teen', AKA, 'Jen', - 'Becky' - a Mom, 'Mother of Twins in New Jersey', among many others. A couple of Nude Christian Teens, 'Muffin' and 'Holly', lost their Fathers when they were younger. Read these many posts. That is where you'll get a lot of guidance. You might want to do this before you and your Mr have a full blown discussion.
Welcome to this Forum. Don't leave. We need you. What about a post from 'Miss-14' [my title for this post only] giving her take on the issue, after consultation and review by a Nude Loving Christian Mom. Both of you will find these teens supporting her and you.
In case you don't know, { } are 'hugs'. {} The more, the more important/freindlier. So:::
{{{ a brave Mother of Totally Tan Teen}}}
I am a bit overwhelmed by the many responses to my post of earlier today - I never thought I would have homework to do in the summer, but I will check out some of those posting and the homepage of this website. The beach is legal. We feel Liz's friend is very safe and responsible.I thought I would gather my thoughts before I shared with my husband (he tends to be very protective of his three girls - that includes me - he calls is "his 3 girls")....so many thanks and I will get back to you...
planned or otherwise here you are! Your daughter is the same age as my baby daughter and sounds to be about as independent. I hope she was honest and comforable in answering your questions about the tan. You know, nothing to hide! Sometimes kids will do something and know it is daring but not intended to be bad. KuzeN referred you back to last October, and Nude Teen, a good example.
I would suggest that you might stop by the same beach with your husband (not while Miss 14 is there), just to see for yourselves how it appears from a safety standpoint. You could take a casual stroll with a suit and not cause a stir, or you may decide to try it nude.
Whatever you do, do it prayerfully and gently. Nude is not an offence to God, and is not a sin. Miss 14s worst error was in not starting with permission first. I think I may have done that before myself.
As you read this forum you will see that you are not the only persons who have been surprised only to find it has been a true blessing. We will all be praying for Gods peace and blessings as you settle in to a new adventure. Bearone
As usual, I went overboard. One thing that I picked up on is the level of trust between you and 'Liz'.
I'm willing to hazard a guess that her Father and she have a very strong bond. If so, this will make the situation a lot smoother for all of you. I get the feeling that this daughter can share whatever without fear. gathering your 'ducks and lining them up [so to speak]' before you bring 'Mr. Mother of Totally Tan Teen' up to s[peed is a good idea.
Does he ever see Totally Tan Teen Au Natural at the house? Does he ever see any of his three Girls displaying any degree of nudity? Does he ever go nude around the house? Another plus. Just wondering if the nudity happens when there's only you three Girls at home.
If you have a safe and secure pool, try midnight swims - when your 2 Girls are supposed to be with the Sandman - with the two in your natural bathing suits - may take a while to get there. Go at your own pace.
Next step, let the Girls have nude swimming if they want to, when Dad not around or CAN'T see anyone in the pool area. Make sure that it is just the three of you. Once they and you are comfortable with nude swimming [maybe no later than swim 2 or 3], you and Dad are in the pool when the Girls come out nude. The Girls know that Dad is in the pool [so they won't bolt] and their swimming nude when Mom and Dad are in the pool is APPROVED because of your LOVE for them. You are nude or topless and later are totally nude. Dad has his textile suit on. Choice 1 Let the entire swim go like that, maybe even a 2nd time or more. Choice 2 After the Girls have been in the pool for some period of time, Dad asks permission to toss his suit onto the edge of the deck If they are COMFORTABLE with that.
Find out from Miss-14, if 'Annie - her bud' - and her family are naturists. If they are, once all four of you are comfortable with home nudity invite them over for a get to know you better party - chips, dips, your choice of beverages. Even if you have known them a while, you arein new teritory. Once both Families are comfortable, each Family will have the for support.
Neither Family is expected to perform a strip act. However, if the Girls want to swim, let 'em get wet and air dry their suits. No washer dry to mess with.
{{{Mother of T-cubed}}}
Yours in HIS SPIRIT,
KuzeN
P. S. Sounds like you 'Fellar' is a KEEPER!!
P. S. S. See my posts to 'Perplexed'. He had some of the same questions.
Wow, I seem to be a little late on the response, but never the less, I am glad for the responses that have been given. So take advantage of them and keep us posted with the results!
Mom of TTT, Welcome to the BACN Forum! As you have quickly found out, we are very interested in helping you as a Christian to come to terms with naturism in a Christian light.
Our hopes and dreams are for a naturist friendly world where naturism amongst Christians is part of the norm, not a problem.
Of course, at this time, we realize that you are a Christian and that you have no problems with nudity around the home. In fact, you probably don't really have a problem with nudity in public in the right setting.
Your issue is that your 14YO daughter took off to a naturist beach without your consent. I realize that is scary!
But here is something very important, your daughter didn't lie to you when you asked her. (After all, it is hard to hide an all over tan when unclothed!)
You are already following the advise of our friends here, and there are plenty of support here. We do watch the board very carefully, and have had no real problems. When a problem does arise, we are on it like wet on wet! We are very protective of each other and pray for each other.
So you can become a part of our Christian Naturist family if you and your family of four (Dad and the 3LG's) want to join us.
I have a little girl, she is 16 months now and acting like a 2YO already! (Maybe the "terrible two's will be over with by the time she is two!) She likes being nude already, but of course, she seems to spill a little everytime she is cut loose for a few minutes, so she still has to have a diaper on.
I am glad your daughter decided to not let her peers at school rule her life and get her to change her mind about naturism. Of course, your attitude and discussion will make a difference for her in the future. Make it good! Love her, protect her, but realise that she is testing the waters for her independance and dicision making.
I am not the best writer, but I did try when it came to the articles on my website. It could have been a whole lot worse, except for John Kundert of the Fig Leaf Forum who edited my articles before they can appear in his newsletters. Maybe I'll go back and rewrite the articles. But in the mean time, they are my thoughts on Christianity (which changes and grows over the years) and naturism.
As I have said on this forum before, we are CHRISTIAN Naturists, not "Naturists who happens to be Christian". So don't let naturism get in the way of what the Spirit of God is telling you. Let love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, (See Galations 5:22) carry you through this growing experience for all of your family!
Best wishes, and may God bless you and keep you in Jesus Christ.
Others have given plenty of good advice, so I'm just going to compliment you.
It's so important with teens—really with kids of any age—to listen respectfully. By that I don't mean that you don't let them know when you don't agree with what they're doing; I'm just trying to say that listening is so important. Overreactions are counter-productive.
Obviously you've been listening all along, or your daughter wouldn't have felt free now to be open and honest with you. That kind of relationship is a treasure. Congratulations to you for having developed and kept it.
No doubt your family will be taking "next steps" of some kind. Do let us know what happens. We care.
Welcome to the group Mother of TTT. You found the perfect place to find answers to most, if not to all of your questions.
Why said I what your daughter did were all your fault? Well, you said it yourself: you are somewhat casual about nudity within your family. So you have thought you daughter(s) that there is nothing wrong with an unclothed (naked) human body and that she has not to be ashamed to be seen naked by others. I can imagine that she felt well within your parental limits (??...I mean that she did not have the feeling of doing something that you do not want her to do at all), because the way you deal with nudity at home, so she did not ask for special permission.
And look at this point: she acted very mature by going to an official and legal nude beach, which is at least as save as a normal beach, and did not go to a secluded place to meet a bunch of weird teens to skinny dip.
Just keep talking to you daughter in a relaxed way so she might be willing to go into more details about her visits to the nude beach to give you a better feeling for if there should be any concerns about letting her go.
As the others mentioned, please keep us informed about the ongoings as we are all eager to learn through the experience of others
