I've been in a weird place the last day or two where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I do have some tough things going on in my life, mostly financial, but nothing major. It's not like I'm thinking of something upsetting and want to cry, I just want to cry for no reason. What do you do when this happens? Or is this something that doesn't happen to most people? I dunno if this is normal or depression or just weirdness. Any input you can give me (and please don't tell me I just need to pray about it or read the Bible- I might go nuts if that's the only option; I'm not joking, I feel like I'm losing my sanity right now) would be appreciated.
Melissa,
No, I'm not going to necessarily tell you all of that. I can tell you that sometimes I find that if I just "talk to God" like I was having a conversation with someone that I might start finding the answer to why I'm feeling like that.
That said, you're not alone. I get like that and it can be over the most trivial thing, but sometimes those trivial things build up so much that they might as well be a major issue.
Is it depression? I can't diagnose that. I can tell you that there are many ways people let out depression -- crying, not doing what you normally would do; just being in a funk. When I get like that I start finding something else to do. Sometimes just getting out and exercising helps. Going to dinner with a friend. Watching television with a friend. Do something you've been wanting to do. No strings attached to anything; it's just to help clear your mind and start getting your mind on something else.
You did say you have thyroid problems . Hypothyroid can cause a depression. You might want to check your level.
Most of all I can tell you that you're going to come out of it. It may not seem like it, but it will.
Think about and look forward to your trip and date, keep talking to us and other friends. Check in with the doctor about the thyroid.
And I don't say that like a male idiot who is trying to sooth a female problem.
I have depression. ADHD. I used to pray that God let me die. Seriously! Fortunately, he ignored that one!
I used to think that I was the "doubled minded man that is unstable in all his ways", and to a degree, that was true. But a lot had to do with my imbalance in my brain.
After trying prozac, helped some, but it made me doofy, so my doc put me on Concerta. That works. Then I discovered Dr. Amens Clinic and took an online test.
I found out about him in a book "Healing ADD"..the six types of ADD. I took the test in the book first, then later took it online. they both agreed and the results were that I could do something about it.
Thanks for your message, Boyd. I have been diagnosed with depression for several years and I'm on medication for it. Unfortunately, we haven't found a medication that helps with any of it yet. I get terribly depressed at times and have often been depressed to that life-or-death point that you mentioned. I've been more active about it, though. I'm scared right now that I'm going down that path and that I can't seem to catch myself before I fall back into a really bad state. I just don't know what to DO. I've talked to my counselor, I've prayed, I've read the Bible, I've asked God to fill me (I feel hollow inside)... but nothing works. Do you have any ideas on what I can do to get out of this slump? I'm still just wanting to curl up and cry for a few years until my body just gives out. I know this isn't normal, but it's where I'm at. I feel really desperate about the situation, too. So, any suggestions you have would be taken with great appreciation. Especially since you've been there, too.
Melissa,
Like Boyd, I too have been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I'm on an antidepressant (Lexapro) and take Adderall XR, which is the same medication that is in concerta. I took the test that Boyd is talking about the other day. From how it came out I'm on another medication that should be helping too. I'm trying to get in contact with the doctor to see if we can try a different dose of something to help. Although part of mine now may be attributed to the lesions in my head.
I've been at the same point you are now, quite recently. And really I'm dangerously close now I think. But what I've really found is that you MUST force yourself to still be a part of society. As I told you before, I think one "small" thing is o.k. If they stack up we start getting down. BUT it sounds like you've got some pretty heavy things to deal with. The car, finances, which affect fixing the car, and now having to postpone your trip. That's a lot. There's no easy answer to go from low point upward. I can only tell you what I do. I start communicating with people. I call friends. I visit with friends. I continue to try to keep going. I also write a lot to myself.
I know exactly what you're going through.
If I can be of some help, let me know.
And know that you have a lot of people
who care about you and love you. And
I look forward to meeting you sometime.
Even though I was already diagnosed with depression, I took the test that cleared things up a bit on what TYPE of ADD.
It will help you get down to one or two of the following types:
Type 1Classic ADD: Inattentive, distractible, hyperactive, restless, and impulsive.
Type 2Inattentive ADD: Easily distracted with a low attention span, but not hyperactive. Instead, often appears sluggish or apathetic.
Type 3Overfocused ADD: Excessive worrying, argumentative and compulsive; often gets locked in a spiral fo negative thoughts.
Type 4Temporal Lobe ADD: Quick temper and rage, periods of panic and fear, mildly paranoid.
Type 5Limbic ADD: Moodiness, low energy. Socially isolated, chronic low-grade depression. Frequent feelings of hopelessness.
Type 6"Ring fo Fire" ADD: Angry, aggressive, sensitive to noise, light, clothes and touch; often inflexible, experiencing periods of mean, unpredictable behavior, and grandiose thinking.
I fell into Type 5 and 2. We all fall slightly into most categories, but heavy on one or two types. One of them being the dominant.
The book I got this from is "Healing ADD - The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD" by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
The website I referred you to has the same test as in the book, but can pin point it better.
My "antidote" is Concerta, once a day, usually around 9-9:30 AM, and starting immediately after I get up in the morning, I take a dose of Amino Acid Complex and as the day goes, I take a few more along with (Amens recommendation) large does of L-Tyrosine, an ammino acid. Usually from 1000-2000 mg of L-Tyrosine.
And I could go higher if I need to. But I don't push it.
I do well with this formula. But you may want to read the book to get the full benefit along with reading what is on the website. He became the formost expert on this since he was the only one who went further into the study than anyone else. Many doctors are just catching up with him. My doctor didn't know about this!
I have suggested to others this book and loaned it to one family who found improvement from it immediately.
It's up to you. I can't say it's a cure, nor do I want to give advice against your doctor, but I do know that most doctors are still reluctant to take the "natural" way out. Some doctors still don't believe in the use of Chiropractors. We tell them it's our health and it works for us.
You should read it and take the test. You may find out how "spooky" the answers are! (Wow! That sounds like me!....oh yeah...it IS me!)
I know this may not help, because in spite of the "Old Wives Tale", misery does NOT necessary love company.
But I have gone through bankruptcy (last year) lost all my vehicles, my home, out of work, (still am), my MIL is living with us and has ADD of some kind, Gwin has ADD, I do, all in the same house, each with a different type (see above message for types) and we got a little 2yo we need to make sure we raise properly (and probably got ADD of some type)!
I got an old car from a friend who said "If you can drive off with it, you can have it!" It was used (abused?) by his son, sat in the driveway under trees for over two years, but as Mark can testify, it runs! Thank God for that!
And we have been able to hold on, make some money and still able to see our Chiropractor.
So God is good to us all. We are on yet another journey in life and God is going to have to take control. Or should I say, I need to let God take control!
As the Disney's Koala Brothers like to say "We are here to help!" (Got a 2yo, what else do we watch?)
Yeah, when I took the test I was "highly probable"
on Type 1, Type 3, and Type 5. And I had those
moments of "THAT"S ME!" I'm working on ordering
the book. I found it very helpful and highly recommend
looking at Amen's site and taking the tests.
Thanks Boyd.
Nancy
I took the test and found out, not surprisingly, that I don't have ADD. I have a good attention span, my focus is good, etc. So the ADD component isn't a component for me. Which is probably a good thing, as I don't need any more 'problems' added to what I already have. Thank God for the little things.
The first thing that came to my mind when I read the title of your original post was "What's wrong with crying."
You are the only one to decide if it's a "normal" cry or not, since you know you best, but sometimes it's perfectly normal to just sit down and cry. It's a release of built-up tension and emotion. To hold it in (like I do) can make you feel like your going to explode.
I have an absolutely horrible temper that I'm just now, at 35, beginning to get a handle on. I described to Myra how it can feel sometimes, like I'm literally on fire inside, ready to burst from what I could only call rage, and it scared her. I'm the type that dosn't want help usually, and over time I'v elearned how to better handle things that stress and frustrate me, but it's still hard.
I might suggest crying and talking, especially to a good friend. I hear about the health, car, financial and other problems you are going through and my heart feels sorrow and empathy for you because I too can relate.
Posting here is may also be good therapy because, although we may be a little preachy at times, we do care!
Have you tried doing something different? Some people get a high from running. If you can't run, just walk (that's what I do). Pay attention to your body. Mine works better to do mind things in the morning, then some physical stuff like gardening or walking, then maybe some mind work at some point, then maybe just vegging out watching some good movies. I record a lot of movies off Lifetime channel. Yeah, it's women's TV, but I like the movies. Also good stuff on Hallmark. They do some good stuff. Get a friend to record them if you don't have access to them. VCRs don't cost much to play them back.
Don't just sit and eat. Cry if you must but don't try eating your way out of it.
Read David's Psalms. He got down during those times he had to flee from Saul and wrote about it.
Thankfully, I'm not just sitting around watching tv or eating. I'm trying to figure out this whole mess I'm in and planning to do what I need to do without a car. Of utmost urgency is getting to the supermarket. As I live very close to 69th Street Station in the outskirts of Philly, this shouldn't be a problem. I just have to learn the bus/ train/ trolley routes so that I can get around. My goal for today is to get a weekly bus pass so that I can go anywhere I want to go this week. That'll help me to get out more, maybe to some parks or different libraries or even somewhere special to watch the fireworks on Independence Day.
I think what's making everything harder right now is that my closest friend, the one I do just about everything with, is in Montana on a missions trip and doesn't return until Monday night. It's hard to be without someone to talk to. I just want to call someone up and chat, but she's not there.
I will try to do some new and fun things in the 2 weeks that I'm carless. Maybe explore the city more, including going to the zoo or some of the museums. Of course, the city will be nuts this weekend with all of the holiday nuttiness going on and the Live 8 concert that has overtaken the news.
Please keep praying for me. I'm not doing good and I don't want to end up in the hospital for this.... that's just too scary a thought for me and I'd seriously rather be dead than in the hospital I was last in.
This is my first post to you here, but I have seen your web site, and I did email you once to thank you for your site. I have also read a few of your posts on cheef.com.
Anyway, the Lord's timing is always good, and I think today's prayer from Germaine Copeland is an example of what I mean. I attached it below and pray it over you. If I get time, I would like to post more -- and I promise to try to avoid being preachy. If I do not get the chance, know I have you in my thoughts and prayers, and expect to see some good things start to happen.
Prayer of Affirmation
Father, I thank You for helping me as I enlarge the place of my tent and strengthen my stakes. In You there is hope for despair. In You there is stability for turmoil. In You there is prosperity for poverty. In You there is health and healing for sickness. In You there is peace for conflict, whether it is in a relationship, in my home, or in my land. In You, Lord Jesus, is well-being for every area of life! Hallelujah! Thank You Holy Spirit for divinely orchestrating every aspect of my life! Jesus is Lord over my spirit, soul and body, and over my relationships. Amen
My wife goes to the health club every morning. She makes all kinds of connections and talks to all the people there. She's been doing this for about the last 11 years.
Yeah, this takes some money. There may be a YWCA or YMCA that takes women in Philly near you that wouldn't be much money.
Some church groups may have some work-out areas around there, too. Hmm. Wonder why more churches don't get into creating their own health clubs for members and friends of members? Takes space; I guess. So do gymnasiums that some churches have put in.
Melissa
I am a Mental Health Nurse by proffession. Often I have had to work with people who have had intractable Depression and medication does not seem to be effective. Yet with some I have been able to be some help. What I do does not have quick results but they seem to be Lasting.
1st observe your mood levels over the day. Every body seems to have a "Diernal mood Varience". Do more when you feel like doing more, rest at other times. Eat easily digestable foods (Fruits and cerials) when feeling low and eat your high protiens when you are feeling less low. If this means having your day backtofront for a while it will be worth it!
If you want to read up on this approach look for any thing on the internet which addresses depression using behavoural approaches. If you want more ideas email me and I will see what I can do by remote.
Tevita
I'd do your brakes FOR you. It might not be much, but it would help.
I don't know where you're getting your car serviced, but some advice from someone (me ) in the industry: Don't go to a dealership unless your car is still under warranty. They're too expensive, both in parts and labor. Don't go to one of the national car chains, like Jiffy Lube, Firestone, etc., or God forbid, Wal-Mart or K-Mart. These places all prioritize quantity over quality, and most of the guys who work there work there because they can't get a job anywhere else. I know that's a cruel stereotype, but it's usually true, unfortunately.
Find a smaller independant shop that has a good reputation locally. If they've been in business long enough they should have a good customer base, and sometimes they can give referals so you can see how others rate their work. Also, smaller Mom-and-Pop type places might be more willing to work with you financially.
If I do not get the chance, know I have you in my thoughts and prayers, and expect to see some good things start to happen.