Since my last post, things haven't changed much. I keep trying to see the bright side of things, but it's not happening the way I wish it were. I feel like I'm losing my sanity and I still just want to curl up and cry. But the tears won't come. Right now I'm desperate to have someone care if I'm alive or dead.... and making stupid decisions/ unchristilke decisions because of it. I need to stop some of my self-destructive behaviors and start living. I feel like I'm just utterly crushed away and need help, but I don't know where to turn for help. Just keeping up with normal household things is becoming a chore. Also, I'm filled with so much shame and guilt from so many sources- some of which I should be ashamed and feel guilty of, some of which aren't my fault to begin with. Can you guys just keep me in your prayers? I don't know where else to turn right about now. I'm sorry for bothering you again, I really don't know where else to turn. You're the only Christians I know who really, truly act out your beliefs.
There are so many of us here that understand what you're going through. You know something is wrong, but you feel you can't do anything about it and you feel helpless. Fortunately, you've found a group that is not encumbered by the rules of religion and bueracracy. We just seem to be led by the voice of God. Don't apologise for "bothering" anyone here. Sometimes, just venting your frustrations and writing them down helps. No matter who responds or doesn't respond, I know that there are many who you don't even know that will literally place their hand on their computer monitor and pray for you and ask for His healing force to wash you with His strength and serenity.
The biggest problem with the Net is that we can't be there with you to physically help and hold you. The best part about the Net is that you've found us and we're here as long as Boyd keeps up his site.
I've seen your photos in Net Nude and on your website and you're a beautiful, young woman. I know that includes the deepest part of your soul, as well. Hang in there. We're on the way.
I am truly sorry for all the pain that you are going through right now. I will request prayers for your difficult times from the congregation of my church as well as adding you to our E-mail Prayer Chain. We have people on the chain who live in Australia, so shortly you will be receiving prayers for comfort 24/7.
May God lay his healing hand on your soul and comfort you, in our Saviors name we pray, Amen.
I see how the others love and care about you, and although I am just returning to this group, I join with them, so never feel you are "bothering" us. Not only do we want to support you, but to this we were called. "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
As I said in my last post to you, I would be praying and I have kept my word. Throughout the day, I remember you and I speak to the Lord about you. I shall continue praying for you until I hear how the Lord has blessed you (because I know he hears us and answers).
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12).
I have been praying for you (believe or not, throughout the last year for some reason) and will continue to do so.
Lord,
You know Melissa is hurting right now and needs confirmation that you are there in her life. I know we, in this forum agree, that we want her to feel loved by you and also others in her life. I know feelings aren't necessarily reality but they can help confirm that.
Lord, she is also suffering from some health issues. I pray that you will help give the doctors wisdom in treating her. Also, give her relief from the symptoms she is feeling.
