Oh, I've been around. Just haven't had much to say lately, I guess.
Things are going better. My relationship with the Lord is going astronomically better, which, as you could guess, helps every area. Yesterday I ran into the associate pastor of my church and mentioned that I need to occupy myself next week until I get my car fixed so that I'm not focusing too much on being homebound. Now, when you're a teacher you may not want to mention this to the pastor. His answer? Help with Vacation Bible School which is held next week. So... guess who's helping out in the craft dept at the VBS?
Other than that, things have been going well. I'm getting used to being without a car now and I'm learning my way around public transportation. I'm also finding things to do each day, whether it's going to the library or store or doing laundry. Keeping busy will ultimately help me a lot so that I don't get too discouraged. Being without a car has actually been a good thing in my relationship with God because I'm realizing how much I depend upon myself rather than Him in most matters of life.
I'm so glad you're doing better. I helped with VBS a few weeks ago. I understand what you mean about being a teacher and VBS; even us college teaching assistants and professors get in on the act. And being with 4th and 5th grade boys solidified three things" I either NEVER what children, I KNOW my children will NEVER act like that, and it is the BEST birth control ever.
I'm also pleased that you feel your relationship with Christ getting stronger. You're right, it takes something like a car breaking down and trouble with finances to start focusing on how much we need to turn our lives over to Him and stop trying to do everything on our own.
Melissa... you said:
"Being without a car has actually been a good thing in my relationship with God because I'm realizing how much I depend upon myself rather than Him in most matters of life."
I glad that it's only taken you car for you to figure that out! My head much be much thicker then yours, because I totally ignored those types of signs, and it took 4 days in the hospital, and a long term illness (Still's disease) to knock that into my head! In our eyes it's just so much easier to try to work things out for ourselves, when in reality it is truely much easier to turn it over to God, after all, if he created this universe, how can the realitivly little, insignificant problems in my life really challange him! He says in his word that he cares for us, and if he truely does, he will handle our problems, we just need to turn them over to him, and have faith that he WILL handle them!
BTW, and I've posted this before, but I was in the hospital 11 months ago, and on January 18, 2005, I was told that I'm in remission! I'm back to doing anything and everything I did prior to getting sick, God did take care of me. I believe that he put that into my life to bring me back to where I need to be with him! For that reason, I'm thankfull for my Still's disease!
I agree with you Rob. God first put me in a place with my biological family, but with a wonderful church family about 10 years ago, and told me (in hindsight) that I had to trust Him and stop relying on myself. He just really didn't need my help. So I trusted him, drew closer to my church family and began to deal with a recurring rare tumor in my left hand and arm. Over and over again I had to have that lesson drilled into me because it took over a year to learn how to write again (I'm left handed), move my left hand enough to play piano and to move the valves on my (French) horn. But then I had to have more surgery, broke the left elbow, lose feeling in two fingers, and develop a chronic nerve syndrome. All the while there were blessings placed before me in terms of people and events that kept me going. Even after having to find another doctor to once and for all get rid of the tumor cells, He decided I really needed to trust more because I developed shingles and Bell's Palsy and had to learn to eat again and buzz my horn mouthpiece enough to play. Thanks be to God, even though I still wear a protective sleeve on my left arm, I can write, play piano and horn. (I guess it pays to be a stubborn German Lutheran too!)
And now for 2 1/2 years I've been trying to work on my doctorate while dealing with lesions in my head and on parts of the brain and pituitary gland. I still get mad. I want to throw things, and sometimes I just yell at God! And in the midst of all of it, and now in the midst of having to postpone the doctorate while I get my head fixed and having to move back home, I continue to find blessings in the midst of it all. Don't get me wrong, there are days, hours and moments when I wonder if it might be nicer to do it my way and ignore God. Somehow though, He has this knack of getting my attention with events in life, or placing the right people in my life. Sometimes it's even placing the right thing to hear or read at the time. I'm scared about what the next few months have in store, but I'm also working at putting all my trust in Him to guide me where He wants me...if I'll just let go of the wheel.
