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Wife coming around?

July 22 2016 at 3:13 PM
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Greg  (Login gregpc)

 
Recently, I overheard my wife telling our adults sons, "We should get naked and..." I didn't hear the rest because I wasn't in the room. But this was totally unlike her. I wondered what it was about. But she also told me how she "loves" the show Dating Naked. Despite it being about ratings, it still seems to foster our ideals.

Today my supervisor was told he would be in charge of the whole department for all next week. He has teased about being naked and having Clothing Optional Fridays instead of Casual Fridays, so when someone mentioned his new temp position, I teased and said, "Wait til you see what he does with Fridays!" He laughed and agreed, saying, "Yep! Clothing Optional Friday." I believe he may actually be a nudist or close to it. Anyway, I mentioned it to my wife, and said, "That would be nice!" Instead of blasting me for thinking that way, she said, "Too bad you can't do it. haha" Sounds promising. happy.gif

 
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Boyd Allen
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Re: Wife coming around?

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July 24 2016, 8:11 AM 

Wow, that was interesting! I have told my boss and coworkers years ago that I was a nudist and talked openly about it. On the last day on the job, they took me out to lunch and on our way out, one of the techs noticed I was wearing sandals (leather style) which is something we don't wear on the job. (PC Techs, desktop support) and I said "you're lucky I'm wearing clothes today!" and my boss laughed!

I think we are all being more scared and concerned about our naturism than we need to be. We are hiding behind our fig leaves and bushes when it comes to naturism in our church and communities, while hiding behind our fig leaves and bushes when it comes to our Christianity at nudist resorts.

I'll continue to pray for you and your wife and for your relationship, which comes first in Christ. God will take care of the rest.

Boyd

 
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Terry
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Re: Wife coming around?

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July 24 2016, 10:13 AM 

Wow, when a spouse has a dramatic turn around to embracing nudism that's quite an event to celebrate.

I have never felt comfortable outing myself to any co-workers or employees. Like some other lifestyles I have never felt the urge to disclose my private life. I used to work for the Crystal Cathedral and Hour of Power televised ministry and despite their public persona of being open minded to others they were very much close minded hypocrites. I always feared being found out and the risk of being fired.

My wife is still quite reluctant to be nude around our grown daughter, but fortunately, she has never hesitated to be nude in public and enjoy the club facilities at Glen Eden.

 
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Greg
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July 24 2016, 10:52 AM 

Thank you Boyd for your continued prayers. I can say that I am or we are feeling and seeing the results. When my wife started hounding me about anything she perceived as offensive and began doing things that so co-dependency on her part (I did my share too), I began to shut down. I quit sharing my feelings with her because she would just take it personal and use it against me. Recently however, since you began praying, she started in on me again and instead of shut down, I engaged her and we actually, by the grace of God, resolved some issues. The Holy Spirit was guiding me through it and I was amazed. I changed. She changed too, although not right that second. So thank you for praying. It's working!

And yes, our feelings about nudism aren't really about nudism but deeper issues and when the deeper issues are resolved, we will be able to handle nudism better. In my case, I loved it so much I was ready to move to the resort and centered my life around it. I think God didn't want that to be a focus, not to that extent. In her case, the opposite extreme. She wanted nothing to do with it at all and felt it was always inappropriate. It seems, as we work through the deeper issues, we are more balanced altogether.

I would like to be nude again more, including online -- through chats with you and others, etc. I would love to be able to put a nude picture as my profile picture the way you have done. I would do it too, if it were not for my wife and maybe I were not concerned about non-nudists seeing it and making something of it. But, yes, I do think we fear too much and people are more understanding than we realize. I know several at work talk about stripping down to underwear when they get home and the one supervisor who repeatedly references nudism. I am not ashamed or afraid to admit what I prefer, but with all I've been through, I have learned discretion is important. My wife, on the other hand, is deeply concerned about not being seen as bad and not being embarrassed. This is very important to her for some reason.

Boyd, I continue to pray for you and your family daily. I have you on my prayer list which I use to remember who has priority in prayer (I pray as the Spirit leads me so certain people will be prayed for more or less as He leads me and the ones on my list have priority).

Terry, you are right about the hypocrisy. I can't say much these days those as I have engaged in my share of it. I won't go into detail but I've compromised my ideals, mostly by letting myself bend to her rather than stand up for myself and my convictions. I claim nudism is good, healthy, etc, but then act as if it isn't. sad.gif I am trying to get back to my ideals.

Nudity in our home is actually not too big a deal. That is, while she would not simply go nude openly, if she happens to be seen naked by our sons, it's no big deal to her. They will walk into the bathroom to talk to her in a heartbeat. While she has refused to go to a nudist resort, she seems to becoming more relaxed and may one day change her mind.

As for me, my sons are used to seeing me naked and think nothing of it. When they were younger, I was always nude around the house, so they don't think anything of it. In fact, when my oldest son was around 8 or so, he once brought a female friend over and didn't bother to tell her I might be naked or bother to announce to me that he had brought her into the house. There I was, completely naked. They walked in and both talked to me as if I were completely dressed. I was surprised she didn't say anything. I later called her mother to explain what had happened to insure nothing was said and misconstrued or misunderstood. She learned that day that I was a nudist and she especially appreciated my forthrightness and honesty. She explained that her daughter did mention she'd seen me naked but only as a matter of fact and not as thought any wrong had been done so she was not concerned.

She learned I was a nudist and we became good friends. Our families have since skinny-dipped together as she and her husband both like being nude too. In fact, the whole family actually likes it. Her three daughters are grown now, just as our three sons are. When all the kids were younger, they loved playing on the slip and slide naked. They discovered they could go much fast that way. LOL They still talk about that from time to time. Just this weekend, I dropped my wife off at their house and when I went in, the youngest leaned out of her bedroom doorway and said, "Hey dad!" We've become like family, so she calls me dad as a joke. As I went to go see her, she smiled and said, "I don't have any pants on." Because of her obesity and the way she stood, I didn't notice it until she said something. Then I realized that apparently she had nothing on below. I laughed. I said, "So? I don't have underwear on." LOL We laughed. We talked briefly and she went her way and I went mine.

So I won't be surprised if my wife actually eventually comes around. It looks promising.

 
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Boyd Allen
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Re: Wife coming around?

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July 24 2016, 3:59 PM 

But what would your wife do if your daughter showed up there while you are there? What would the difference be?

There is a saying we have when people ask, "But what if someone I know shows up there too?" The answer is, "Now you have something else in common you can share!"


 
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Greg
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July 24 2016, 4:38 PM 

Boyd, you asked, "But what would your wife do if your daughter showed up there while you are there? What would the difference be?"

I can't answer that as we do not have a daughter. I can say that my wife might see it as different though. The issue with her is control. If she feels out of control, she feel insecure about a situation. That's been the reason she has not liked nudism. She feels less control and thus more insecure. It's all perception.

 
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Terry
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Re: Wife coming around?

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July 25 2016, 11:08 AM 

Our daughter has always had anxiety and I was a dope when she was like 3 years old. I had read in Dear Abby that parents should not let their children see them naked after about that age. It was thought they would be scarred. I know so much better now, but we never went back to being naked with her and she became quite uncomfortable with nudity.

The difference would be that since she is uncomfortable we feel we should respect her wishes and feelings for the time being. As of now we are gradually dressing with less...especially with the hot weather upon us. She has worked theatrical productions as a seamstress dressing people so we know she's been around many scantily clad actors. I think for now its the weird factor with her parents. We'll just keep moving forward and easing into the situation. I see many postings from guys who tend to be belligerent a$$holes and state, "My house, my rules." We don't work that way. Everyone is given consideration. We've always felt Christians should do things that way.

 
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