What We Face

It's something I can't ignore;
This feeling that keeps me awake
At this time of night,
Wondering what I will face next with you.
Maybe it's your absence of words
That make me feel neglected,
Or maybe it's my mistakes
Hammering repeatedly in my brain.
Whatever it is,
It's a hardship I face with you.

I feel your defenses are about you,
Even in my presence
Which once brought you unsurpassed comfort;
Now I wonder what I did
That caused you to erect that wall,
Where I can only see you
Through a small hole.
I pound unendingly at the harsh concrete,
But my fists only bleed in vain,
My words reverberate in my own ears.

Through this wall I hear you cry,
Through the hole I see you fading away,
And I search, desperately, for the door.
But this wall spans miles in all directions,
With no entrance in sight.
And yet I wonder if there was a door at first
Which I sealed off myself.

For I realize this wall
Is part of a fortress we built;
Through our sacrifice for one another,
We built it with our own hands.
But now you stand back and push me away,
And I watch what we bled for
Cave in upon you.

I should leave you for this,
To die in that pile of rubble,
For I know from your eyes
That you wanted it to disintegrate,
Crumble away, Self-destruct,
And take you with it
As it returned to the earth.

But I cannot allow this.
You mean too much to me,
And I am nothing without you.
I can hear you breathing beneath the stones,
And I will dig with my fingernails if I must
To bring you out of there.
I refuse to lose you.