[TALK SHOW VOICE-OVER: TONIGHT, WHITE WOLF TALKS ABOUT
THURSDAY THRASH, ALLIANCES AND ENEMIES!]
Intrepid Ted: Welcome to the Intrepid Ted Show, where Ted, your number one source of XWF information and beyond, brings you the latest and greatest from the competitive world of professional wrestling. Today our guest is a multi-time European belt challenger, and one-half of The Harbingers... he's pale, he's feral, and he has pink eyes! Let's welcome White Wolf!
[The camera pans in on the entrance of the albino, who strides towards his seat confidently. He takes off his shades and scans the audience (to cries of "Loser! Loser!"), and shakes his head dismissively. He sits.]
Intrepid Ted: Alright,
quiet please, we have an interview to conduct [The crowd hushes reluctantly]. Well White Wolf, it's me and you again. How have you been wolfy?
White Wolf: Well, I just lost a tag-team title match, got screwed by Rogue Dreamz yet again and lost the match, and the Prez decides to put me in a match between some guy who calls himself A Freak, who's last piece of work was a thin and immature reply to 2000 AD, which incidentally, is all 2000AD attracts with his racist but shallow threats. The other guy is a throwback to the 60's. So what do you think?
Intrepid Ted: Eh, I guess it hasn't been a good week then, wolfy?
White Wolf: No, it has been wonderful... of course it has been shite, you pea-brained tabloidist of an interviewer! Oh, and by the way...
Intrepid Ted: Yes...?
White Wolf: If you call me wolfy again... you die.
[White Wolf said it in such a nonchalant way that it had to be true... and Ted swallowed HARD.]
[THURSDAY THRASH!]
Intrepid Ted: Oh... ok... well... let's get on with it then. Alright White Wolf, let me get on with
the unimportant stuff first. This Thursday, you have a Triple Threat with Himi Hendrix and The Freak, two relatively unblooded new-comers while you have been
blooded... ahem... tested... in several battles with some of the top stars of this federation. What do you think?
White Wolf: What do I think? First of all, who would want to emulate some loser who choked to death on his own vomit? I'm talking about Himi Hendrix. About Himi Hendrix, well, a person who espouses the 60s attitudes, the hippy ideas of love, joy and peace, and chooses to wrestle in professional wrestling is either a dumb-ass, or he is a class-A hypocrite. Oh, and I have had my share of hypocrites. We shall see which category Himi belongs to after tonight, won't we? Oh, this is not a parting shot or anyhing, but Himi, if I had to choose my top 60s stars, you'd have Bob Dylan, the Beatles, The Kinks and the Clash. Still, it's good that there's someone else in this fed that appreciates the beauty of 60s
music... so Himi, if you're listening to this, I promise you I won't hurt you too much.
Intrepid Ted: You... I mean, the sullen, crazy dude... listens to gay 60s music??
White Wolf: You've obviously never heard anything by the Clash have you?
Intrepid Ted: Umm... no. Nevermind, what do you think of the Freak then?
White Wolf: I think he's doomed to job forever and ever in the XWF. Hell, I'm just going in there, and clean house, and perhaps once they earn a feather in their caps, maybe I'll pay a little bit more attention to them.
Intrepid Ted: Well it's obvious you don't care much for the match that the Prez has set for you, so let's get on with the more important stuff...
[ALLIANCES!]
Intrepid Ted: Well White Wolf, the Outlaws, the tag-team made up of The Shadow (ex-Hardcore Champion) and Mad-X 2000 have expressed their interest in joining forces... forming a Wolfpack
as they termed it, as long as you offer them what they want. What exactly do you have that could make one of the more successful and highly ranked people in the
XWF join up with you?
[White Wolf strokes his chin in thought... and frowns]
White Wolf: What can I offer them, but my strength? They may not see what I do, but we are much alike,them and us. Unlike the other, aimless wanderers that come in and out of the XWF like the spoilt rabble they are, we have a purpose. We have a goal. We are united by one universal emotion. We are fellows in the pursuit of justice.
Intrepid Ted: Justice?
White Wolf: Vengeance.
This is the common goal that binds us all together,and why should we stand in each other's way, when together we may achieve our aims all the easier? Wolves
hunt in packs. A wolf may be strong on its own, but in a pack, even lions must stay away whilst the pack feasts on the bones of its broken enemies. This
is what I offer you. I offer you unity in vision and strength in numbers. The four of us, we are the Wolfpack, and together, we will break our foes. Shadow,
you and I, we have many shared enemies, and I do not need to mention who they are. Join the strength of the Outlaws and the Harbingers together... lest our
enemies separate us and snipe us off one by one... look at me. Look at what happened to me on Monday, against Rogue Dreamz. It could happen to you too...
Intrepid Ted: We all await the reply of the Outlaws with great anticipation I believe, but it's time for our next topic!
[FOES!]
Intrepid Ted: About enemies... what about Rogue...
White Wolf: No, I don't want to talk about that person right now. Today, I give you my analysis of this person... Noodles.
Intrepid Ted: Noodles?
White Wolf: Noodles.
Intrepid Ted: The No.1
Hardcore Contender?
White Wolf: It's good that he won the fight over a bunch of jobbers to earn himself the right to a shot at the Hardcore Title. I'd like to remind him that once he gets in the ring with my partner, the veteran of Hardcore, he won't find the fight quite.. so... easy. Sure, with a name like Noodles, he probably grew up tough. I mean, if I
had a name like Noodles, I'd probably be fighting the other boys off all day and all night as they pick on the boy with the sissy name. And, well, I won't even
mention the mind-power Noodles has developed after the 10,000th homosexual taunt he has suffered. Who knows, maybe he's known as a Noodle after the dimensions of
a certain part of his body. Maybe that's why he thinks he's so damned hardcore... he has the world's longest and thinnest... well you know what I mean. However, Noodle... the Hardcore belt is not about who's the hardest in a porn movie, but who can take and dish out the most damage in that ring, and
out of it. That man just happens to be the Flatliner."
[White Wolf stops to let his words sink in...]
White Wolf: And I'll be there... watching.
Intrepid Ted: Who else do you have a point to make against?
White Wolf: Well, those... Chaotic Dumbasses or however you spell that... has been, well,
annoying. I'll tell you why everybody is ignoring your cries for an alliance. You guys are loud, brash losers, you know, the morons who always sit in the back
of the class and nobody talks to them because if they did, they'd be branded as losers too? Be glad that the Outlaws are taking the time out of their busy schedule to smack some sense into your empty noggins. To paraphrase Chris Jericho, WILL THE TWO OF YOU PLEAAAASE SHUT UP?"
Intrepid Ted: Oh look at the time! I guess that's all for today. Any last words? A shout-out to your archnemesis Rogue Dreamz perhaps?
[But White Wolf merely stands up, and flashes a sinister grin... or was that a growl?... at the camera
before quickly disappearing to the back...]
FADE TO BLACK
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