The Rundown: Straight to the Grave Pre-Show [Oct 2006]
by Gojinn [King of RunDowns]
Once a year…
Ghouls and ghosts…
Gather in cemeteries…
And haunt residents of their former homes…
And once again…
They’re NOT alone!
The DWF Welcomes You
Straight
To
The
GRAVE!
The images of last years DEBUT event play across the screen, and then slowly fade into the image of the CURRENT REIGNING Undisputed Champion, and as always Undisputed King of the World- KING GOJINN!!
That’s right folks, the innovator of DWF Pre-Shows- the Most Suicidal Superstar known to man- The King of the Power 16- The one and only badass in the DWF- KING GOJINN!
I’m sorry…
… did I do that ramblingaboutmyaccomplishments thing again? Oh well.
Tonight marks the one year anniversary of the birth of greatness- THE RUNDOWN!
Oh- wait, the DWF has it’s little one-year PPV thing today too? Meh, what can ya do? Can’t do a RunDown without a show to follow, can ya? Nope- turns into some long monotonous rant from a bottomless Pit
Gojinn laughs with a wink, and begins the show!!
Last year, Viper became champion of the DWF- Dalkiel nailed down that IC Title like a roofer re-shingling, DNA got his first official win as a Hardcore Champion, Candice became our Prez, we met Kevin McKain who’s made an impact for StrikeZone, Red Spyder beat Jack E. Breaker in none other than the innovative Chamber of Pain, yours truly appeared, and even Rick Astin graced us with his presence! It was an incredible event!
So that leaves us with this year, doesn’t it folks? The best comes first- and since I’m the King…
Undisputed Championship
Iron Maiden Match
King Gojinn (c)
The Emerald Flame – Big Joe
Well- he got me in the Fan Freedom Battle Royale- but I snuffed out the Inferno and his fiery buddy the Emerald Flame in one fell swoop. Joe’s back for more, and as the champ and the King- I can’t help but oblige. After all- I did sort of give Cerberus a shot at me when he tried so miserably to prove I wasn’t a King.
I admit- Joe is an impressive opponent. He was a reigning tag champion with the Godsend, but it’s not the same in a singles match. Maybe I’m getting over my head? Possibly. But there’s always the chance for a challenger to win! It’s 50/50!
He wants it, so he gets it- and now, it’s time to bow down. It’s been four hellacious months as a champion- and this man is just one last victim!
He wanted a match- well Joe, welcome to hell. The Iron Maiden match is simple. It’s an egg shaped casket lying outside of the ring, lined with spikes. Way to win you ask? Slam the lid on your opponent and lock him inside the steel death trap. Back out now- I won’t blame you.
Intercontinental Championship
No Holds Barred
Jack E. Breaker (c)
Cerberus
Oh boy!!! This is the big one for the night! Well- it’s not as big as any match with ME in it… and before someone makes a snide fucking comment about my ego- go fuck yourself.
The Worlds Superior, The Inferno, one ring, one object- beat your opponent senseless.
There really is nothing more to the match folks. Think about it, the guys have a long history together, and we know that history isn’t pretty- but there have been the good times too!! I mean, there was that time when….uh…. uh….
….
Ok- well maybe not, but the point stands that the history is deep, and now the battle is over gold. See Cerb?? You get a second chance just like Joe! Except it’s where you belong… below me… as the Intercontinental Champion. But- we all know Breakers gonna beat you, and when he does, I’m gonna watch with a huge smile from the sidelines!!
Money in the Bank Match
Rick Astin
Gideon
The Crimson Tear
El Nombre
Here we go baby!! Another HUGE match for the one year anniversary! The DWF is gonna be treated to a Money in the Bank Match! I’m not gonna ruin the surprises of the match for you- but let’s just say it’s gonna be reminiscent of any movie you’ve seen with coffins and tombs.
The Crimson Tear will be taking on Rick Astin who will be taking on Gideon who will be taking on El Nombre while trying to get to a briefcase to win a match!
Nombre has already made his presence felt with the win for the Hardcore Title, and the Crimson Tear won the tag belts with the Emerald Flame - Big Joe, so you know when Gideon and Rick are thrown into the equation, it's bound to explode!!
One things for sure- it’s gonna be a great match!
Electric Hell Match
Kalysto
Rage
Well- wait a minute..
I’m sensing a bit of déjà vu and NO- that WASN’T a plug for the movie…
There’s just something about this match that seems familiar. Maybe it’s Rage fighting with a woman? I mean last I remember he and Illyana were nearly clawing one anothers throats out but she’s been MIA thank god.
No…that’s not it…
OH I KNOW! Maybe it’s because this match has already been done but now it’s slightly modified and updated for this year… Yawn
Last October we saw Red Spyder and Jack E. Breaker face off in the “Chamber of Pain” and this year we’re gonna see Rage and Kalysto go at it in the Electric Hell. God knows the Chamber of Pain was terrible, but the Electric Hell sounds like a chaotic mess. Rage, being one third of the Outsiders oughta be ready being the beast he is. Kalysto didn’t fair so well the last time we faced off- so I know my boy can do it.
But then again, it’s nothing against him, but he’s got no speed compared to her. She has a damn good chance if she keeps him on his toes… and we all know how he hates ballet.
MMAEF Match
Wyld Chylde
King Gojinn (c)
Speaking of Kalysto- her partner in crime, Wyld Chylde has stepped up to the plate!!
The guy is nothing more than his name implies, a whiney, bitch ass, child. If he doesn’t get what HE wants it’s piss and moan and cry like a fucking baby. HE doesn’t get a title shot, or he is sick of me telling the truth about how he’s nothing and his “undefeated streak” of what now- 4 matches tops, doesn’t touch my illustrious career highlights. Started less than three years ago- took me over a year to get a belt, and now I’m a THREE time Undisputed Champion.
This guy doesn’t listen to facts. Wyld- hear me clearly: You…are…a…nobody…as…far…as…I…am…concerned.
You mean shit. You’re dissing on Breaker as if he could give a fuck about you. He’s too good for you. Look who he’s fighting at this event!! The self-proclaimed “King” is going to fight Breaker, no holds barred. Where were you? I haven’t seen you step up to the other players on the field ready to gun me down! Nah.. you just sit back, let everyone else get their shot, then step up all high and mighty with your precious pussy ass winning streak, acting like you’re hotter than the rest. THAT’S when you show yourself.
You forget- MY eyes…aren’t blinded by the fog people set down in the federation. I see through the bullshit.
Never tapped or been knocked out… well tonight you’ll get your wish. MMAEF- hmm…sounds vaguely familiar in the sense when Breaker and I had an Iron Man match, we mat wrestled and beat each others brains out. When I fought Cerberus and Joe- it was pedal to the metal. You wanna throw down bitch? MMAEF seems to me like I could find my sledgehammer more than one use. Breaking walls and doors were a main priority at one point… but tonight I’ll make sure it collects another skull to it’s count..
I’ll see you soon…
Handicap Match
Viper and Gideon
“The Demon”
I’m tired of all the recent surprises and returns folks, and it wouldn’t surprise me AT ALL if this guy was someone we all know. But- the “Demon” has plagued the thoughts of Viper and Gideon for some time, annoying them to no end, as well as kicking their asses when it called for it. He left threats, did some crazy shit, and tonight it all comes down to these three stepping into the … ring? Meh- Who knows where the hell THIS fight will end up.
We got a former Undisputed Champion and a complete worshipper of Satan teaming up with God’s chosen son here… does anyone else see where they work out, cause I sure as fuck don’t. And since when have they been friends?
Oh- and Gideon, in response to you coming out to talk shit after my segment, here’s what I should tell you: I’ve competed with concussions, cracked ribs, and bloody wounds before. You my friend, are nothing more than a bonified, pink, throbbing,PUSSY
Vulgar I know, but it needed to be said. Gideon, strep throat doesn’t keep you from the ring. It sure as hell didn’t shut you the fuck up when you came out to talk shit did it? Maybe I’ll drop by for this match and help that no good demon fuck who can do nothing but assault people from behind. Maybe I’ll do that just to fuck you over because you’re such a piece of shit.
“The Demon” takes on Viper and Gideon, and let me bet on this- Viper screws over Gideon, and if she doesn’t, the Demon beats their asses anyway.
Iron Man Match
King Gojinn (c)
Raven
The one and only King of DWF takes on the illusive Raven at Straight to the Grave in an Ironman match. Ironic at Straight to the Grave I have to bury so many people, isn’t it?
In any case- the man who’s dropped oh so many messages trying to scare people like that douchebag “demon” finally got his answer when he dropped in on a PARTY- which was later crashed by a certain cranky bitch- and brought the happy mood to a standstill. So what did I do? I told that bird fucker to bury himself. I mean- for god’s sake, who the hell cares?! Watch it be some guy that we again, already know and is just returning!!
Why does everyone do that?? Cerberus had the balls to just show up! Took Overkill a while but he did… I mean, I’m tired of the same cryptic bullshit I see all the time. Why doesn’t that cocky little Raven just show himself so I can beat his punkass right back to wherever the hell he came from?
Oh- I know, because I’ll win.
STOP
PLAY
Also…
Expect announcements from our beautiful and always entertaining President, Candice Fairchild, as this IS our one year PPV anniversary. The Hall of Fame is open for inductions as well, so look for a jam packed show.
The only way to see it? Get your ass to a phone, call up your cable or satellite provider and order!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen- one year later I am still the King- this is the greatest Pre-Show ever: The Rundown- and now I welcome you all…
Straight
To
The
GRAVE!
Gojinn smirks, as the spotlight above his stool fades to black…
