It has been brought to my attention that this federation is filled with what could be described as "amateurish murderers" and supposed "hitmen". At first, this angered me, but no longer. You see, this gives me the opportunity to educate the mindless masses about the true art of homicide. I mean any moron can lift a gun and shoot someone. That is easy. Simple. Even Rick Astin could bust a cap in someone's ass.
Now as I was pondering this, I found inspiration from the most unlikely of sources: OJ Simpson.
Recently, our dear OJ has released a book where he writes about how he "hypothetically" would kill his victims.
While I do find the gall of this action to be quite amusing, it does lead one to an interesting thought. In what ways could one kill some of the DWF SuperStars, assuming they had the means and desire to do so...
Remember... This is all hypothetical. wink
So Here are just a few ways to work on killing some DWF superstars in no particular order and for no particular reason...
1) Gideon
Being as he is an Immortal Angelic Being, killing him would be rather difficult, so I say why bother with Killing being the ultimate goal??
You see, Immortal and Invincible are two completely different animals. His body is still going to be based on a basic physiology. We know he feels pain, so he obviously has nerves, and in short he has a Central Nervous System, which is susceptible to many different forms of attack. For example, a neural toxin that is rather protean and evolutionary in its nature could serve to at least slow him down enough to take action.
So, presuming one did manage to render Gideon unconscious in some way, shape or form? Remember he is immortal so what do we do? Why we do something to annoy the hell out of him!
Some would accomplish this by encasing him in a mystical prison that can only be broken under the full moon on a month ending in the letter "l". Personally I find amputation much more amusing. Or, better yet! Decapitation!!!
So let's say we trap his body in said prison after the removal of his noggin. First, this is not exactly something one would do if they didn't get some sick pleasure out of listening to death threats all bloody day. I mean imagine the conversation starters. And for Gideon, at least Shakespeare in the Park would need him for their productions of Hamlet. But there are far more versatile uses for Gideon's head: a bowling ball, bird feeder, candy dish, scare crow, and my personal favorite... a volley ball.
2) WyldChylde
Wyld, or Conner, whatever the hell his face is, is a bit of a conundrum.
Assuming he has close enough ties to access Garou gifts and traits, one can also assume that he has at least similar weaknesses. The key being silver.
Garou, werewolves, whatever ya wanna call them have a notorious weakness where silver is concerned. As such, ground silver mixed into a nerve gas can indeed produce lovely effects, regardless of the degree of the silver allergic reaction. So if the silver particles don't bug him, that gas will. Now, one can go about using the gas in one of two methods: to kill or subdue.
Killing him outright is no fun. Again, this is something Rick Astin could accomplish. However to use it in a subduing role, well that is a step in the right direction.
No my friends, this is the point where we will learn about Wyld's physiology! Break ou the scalpels kids, because unless yer Viper's last love interest, I am sure you are smart enough to figure out that one way to go about killing Wyld Chyld is..... Disection! Yes, The Wyld One will be giving his body over toscience before we let his blonde bombshell have her way with him one last time.
3) Viper
Yes Yes, I know. Everyone knew I would put her in here somewhere. To be honest, she should be flattered that I put this much though into the offing of her. Matter of fact too much time was spent plotting her death be it when we were enemies or friends. Even when we see eye to eye, I still find myself smiling as I devise new and interesting ways to kill her. Remember this is all hypothetical.
For those with any medical knowledge with any experience in vampire physiology would know that a vampire's powers are derived from two things: Their Generation, and the blood they consume. Viper is a unique vampire in that she is not affected by standard vampire weaknesses. So one must use less conventional means to handle her.
That is where heperin comes in. Heperin is a powerful liquid anticoagulant. What an anticoagulant is, quite simply, is a blood thinner.
Now one dose of this is not going to be enough to take Viper down. It would take a great deal of it, possibly in concentrated forms in order to weaken her. This will affect her regeneration rate, as well as increase any blood loss. So do we bleed her to death? Well we could. Personally, like Gideon, she would be more fun to keep alive and annoy. One method would involve amputaion of her arms and hanging her upside down just inches above a mass of bloody kine blood bags. Yeah I know, I am cruel.
So there you have it. Many possible ways to eternally deal with those annoyances and general pains in the ass. Now will these DEFINITELY work?
I don't know. I never tried to be honest. Might be fun to though.